Love

What’s on my mind? Love. My parents have been together almost 40 years. I have watched many moments where I thought they would not make it past the end of the evening and yet here they are. My grandfather had a sudden heart attack and left my grandmother, much earlier than he planned. My other grandparents were separated by illness and then she had an aneurysm a few years ago. My great-grandparents were separated by illness then death and Great Grandma died more than twenty years later. It is my understanding that the women in our family last much longer than the males. “We endure” my grandmother said laughingly with a smile. I guess I wish they were here to ask their opinion on love.
    I have been thinking about a great many things in my life. I have been blessed with the experience of unconditional love from my grandparents. It is probably the reality where they were present to give it freely and in human forms such as hugs, snuggles, backrubs, back scratches, Eskimos kisses, hand holding, each expression filled with love for you from them. And as a child you respond completely with unconditional love in return. I miss that reality. Now it is my job to give it to myself or, maybe if I am lucky, a lover or companion to share love with.

Moments are truly precious and we do not realize how fleeting they can be. I have always felt there was plenty of time for everything to happen. I learned from my Great Grandmother to regret little from this life because I learned to take chances. Making every moment count; as if it were your last moment. I have also learned to savor moments while they are happening and not to push things too far, too quickly. Human beings need time to be flexible, to get used to a concept, idea or emotion. Right now I feel like there are less moments than there used to be. I keep feeling like I missed something. I slept through something. There was an appointment I missed and I keep trying to remember what it was, or where, or when…