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Category: sanity break

07/27/09 12:01 - 68ºF - ID#49394 pmobl

July 25th 2009 Friday

On Friday (e:Springfairy) calls me and asks if I have anything planned. Just the usually clean and reorganize my home which is the current summer project. She just completed a title floor in the sun room. So we have something to celebrate. We both needed a sanity break and we wanted to head to the marina, so plans were set.
I completed my morming ablutions and headed to my cleaning for a few hours. Springfairy arrived and we chatted. Then it was lunch time so we headed to my parents for leftovers.
Our Sanity Adventure Begins:
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I realized that I needed to start carrying the camera on me when I go places in order to post pictures. I thought this was a cool start
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I believe this ship was called the uss Little Rock.
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This was the first non-blurry shot of the lighthouse. It was actually a really bright day on Friday.
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I really liked the clouds in this one. We headed to that part of the marina on our walk.
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Here is my vertical lighthouse shot as we approached the Marina food area. We stopped at a bench here so that I could doodle in my sketchbook. We started talking about another tattoo design.
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The Gardens of the Marina food area with the statues that (e:metalpeter) took in an earlier post, in the background. We decided to stop and have a snack.
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(E:Springfairy) with a Strawberry Cheesecake Ice cream cone.
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I choose the Rainbow Sherbet. We copped a squat at the triangular you are here sign and sat on the stones in the semi-circle across from the wooden statutes. The stones were actually really warmer than the benches.
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To my left...
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And to my right...
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We decided to continue walking and enjoying the view. After our snack was finished we pondered what else we could do and (e:springfairy) remembered that the Ugly Truth opens today. We came upon a cool sculpture which I thought I captured the name of in the photo, which I did not, and I forgot it.
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Passing us by as we continued to walk. We also realized we could take a Miss Buffalo trip, but we voted on the movie tonight and the trip another time.
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We were heading toward the rocky shoreline and I snapped this photo.
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Something here does not belong? Is that a sneaker? I wonder how it got there? You think someone threw it in there? Maybe someone lost it when they were out on the lake? Do sneakers float? Could have been sneakerwrecked? Needless to say we got pretty silly.
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There was a lovely rock where the view was breathtaking and we wanted to talk about some serious stuff in our lives. She was telling me about a really cool party she had been to with some other friends and how she broke her shoe dancing the night away.
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We both enjoyed the breeze with the wind blowing through our hair. We people watched as more arrived. We talked about many things. I was telling her about an art project experiment. So we headed back to the car to get supplies. We went to A.C. Moore the craft store for me to get the lead and color paint, but one was out of stock.

We continued onto the movie "The Ugly Truth". It was definately worth the money. I nearly passed out from laughing so hard. We could not believe the review only gave it one and half stars. What happened to a sense of humor? We talked about relationships after the movie until late in the evening.

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Permalink: July_25th_2009_Friday.html
Words: 635
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: church

07/27/09 10:50 - 68ºF - ID#49393

Father Baker Day

Yesterday was Father Baker Day at Our Lady of Victory Basilica & National Shrine. I sing in the choir. Father Paul led the mass with other clergy. At the end of mass one of the Lackawanna City resentatives was there with a Proclamation that this be officially Father Baker Day. A moment to honor Msgr. Wurtz who past last year. Then a Tribute to Father Baker by laying a wreath on his grave by two living Father Baker boys, which always brings a tear to the eye. A final Blessing by Father Paul.
There was a reception at the Elementary School. There were lots of lovely finger foods and desserts. We spoke witha lovely couple that drove all the way from Pennsylvania. They were visiting their aunt who livs in South Buffalo. We said out goodbyes and headed home for a small rest.
My mom started her latch hook project and I continued reading "Dead Beat" by Jim Butcher.
We headed Romenello's South for our annnual choir dinner. We milled around talking to other choir memebers getting caught up on their personal news. We started with bread and an amazing olive, garlic, roasted peper butter and ministrone soup. Then we had a mixed greens salad. The entree I choose was the Prime Rib dinner, with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. I had a glass or three of Merlot to complement my steak. After dinner we spoke about what we have been up to. That's when I realized my batteries were out of their charge. So no pictures from my camera. bummer, dude!
The dessert I choose was vanilla ice cream with cream de menth. My grandmother's favorite. I could not belive it we left around 7pm.
We headed back home for some much needed rest and relaxation. Mom continued on the latch hook project. I finished the book and started another.
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Permalink: Father_Baker_Day.html
Words: 311
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: home improvement

07/15/09 10:43 - ID#49296

Summer Projects

This summer I have decided to bite the bullet and attempt to complete a project that I have returned to 7 times previous only to lose focus and move on to other things. I have to decided to clean my attic, apartment, and basement. This sounds so simple, but it has been a battle for me. See I have inherited several generations of personal belongings. First my maternal grandfather, those most of hs stuff fits in a drawer and several piles of misc tools. Second was my paternal grandather and most of his stuff fits in my closet. Third was my great-grandmothers personal belongings, this is more stuff but all in places all over the house. Dishes. Cookware. Photos, which need to be put into lignen, acid-free, archival scrapbook albums. Clothes, towels, jewelry, etc. So much of her stuff is all over the place. Fourth was my maternal grandmother and that means an entire household of personal belongings split three ways and I have 1/3 of her things. So same as Great-gram's but they always remind me of home or someplace safe and loving. Fifth was my paternal grandmother and most of her stuff is still with my uncle. We did share photos and crocheting. Then lastly there are my parents stuff that is still stored with me. Never mind the 30 years worth of stuff I have managed to accumulate. Now that I have split careers there is even more stuff.

Recently on one of those TLC's home improvement shows I saw something that struck a cord with me. Take photos of stuff you want to remember and do not have room to store. I am in the process of rezoning in my head of what I have, what I need, What I want versus the space I have to house it all. "Everything in it's place and a place for everything." This was a motto that my grandmother used to help keep her things neat. I am hoping this will work for me as well.

Clutter. Have you ever noticed that force of nature that when you have a clean surface that somehow, someway, someone (including yourself) can manage to clutter that clean space up? Something about nature abhors a void and will work very hard to fill it.

Packrats - are usually people who have lived through hard times especially a war and learned to live without. There is also a side effect they also learn to hang onto things because "You never know when you might need that..." philisophy. Most packrats that I have meet come from living through war times and are children of wartimes. From having to tighten their belts and living a life where they constantly have to choose between what they need versus what they want. I am learning to recondition myself and my thinking to limiting that perspective to a small area. It seeps into you and you do not even know you are doing it.

Art - I guess I am a jack of all art trades learning to master some. I have many things that I do with my time and energy. Scrapbook, Crochet, Knit, Weave, Draw, Paint, Sculpt, Photography, Computer Graphics, Portfolios, Poetry, Journals, Jewelry, Collect Art books, Comic books, and so much more. I have to spread it out all over the house into little work zones because I have tried one room and there is never enough room for all the basics let alone an inventory. I am also planning my artisitic vision for my life in accordance with my space. My dad and I are into serious negotiations about how to sell my art and what ways should we attempt next. Galleries are important and part of that plan, but what else? So there is time and energy and paperwork into researchng that part of the plan.

Entertainment - Did you ever notice when you go into people's houses or apartments that some people have no media. The main areas are for conversation and having people over. I love that idea, but I do too much other pastimes that included tools in order to create. I read. I love music. I love watching movies (both VHS and DVDs). So I have a great deal of media.

Clothes - always an issue for women. They say you need to dress for the job you want not for the job you have. I get that. Budgets. (and then the pack rat moves in - i like that, oh, i'll fit back into that, and so on ...) I might have learned to let go of more with siblings. My ex, broke a great deal of personal belongings and that taught me about children, but also about letting go.

This is the crux of the problem. I need to not only rearrange and reorganize, but also get rid of a portion of whatever it is I am cleaning. This is the game plan. Everday for 4 to 6 hours working with one focus at a time. My allergies determine the length of time in high allergy areas and sometimes cut my day short. Either way I am trying to be firm, but gentle with myself.
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Permalink: Summer_Projects.html
Words: 861
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: books

07/11/09 12:34 - 74ºF - ID#49259

Charlaine Harris / Sookie Stackhouse

I recently was introduced to this author by (e:springfairy)'s mom who had found a bunch of series by this author first was with the main character called Harper Collins who has the ability to find dead people. There will be more coming I guess.
Now I have just finished the 8th novel in the Sookie Stackhouse series, she as the ability to read peoples minds. This is the book series that the HBO TrueBlood Series is based on. I do not have HBO so I have to wait until it comes out on DVD. I am interested in how they are going to stay true to the characters in the book and yet develop the show with some of the new ideas. I do like the series. When I like a series it usually gets cancelled. For example the Dresden Files based on the Jim Butcher books. I digress.
She also has the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries and the Shakespeare Series with several books in each series to her credit, there are no supes in these just good ole fashion mysteries, but I will be deciding in a little bit what I will read before bed.
I really enjoy her novels and I thought I would pass that on to any avid readers out there looking for a good read.
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Permalink: Charlaine_Harris_Sookie_Stackhouse.html
Words: 220
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: art show

07/10/09 10:39 - 74ºF - ID#49257

Thursday Take Down Friday Catalogue

My dual artshow has officially been taken down on thursday in the afternoon.
I went with my mom and dad to the doctors to see how his foot is reconstructing itself due to a medical condition called Charcot, which is a bone degeneration disease. His foot has to be immobilized in a CROW cast to keep his bones in a single position to allow him to be mobile and have quality of life while his body creates better and stronger bones which is happening very slowly. So we has good news at the doctors.
On to the gallery we went. My fellow artist was taking down her half of the show. We worked together to take down the display. Tallied up this is yours and that is mine kind of thing. We kind of made it a family moment. Mom helped to repackage the framed pieces and the labels so we know what piece is which. Dad supervised. We all talked about the Opening reception. I went through all my inventory and packed up all my bookmarks, greeting cards, posters, prints and papework for the originals.
We went out to dinner to celebrate the completion of an artistic accomplishment. Niagara Cafe has great Puerto Rican food. Maybe even better than my grandmother used to make. God rest her soul! It was definately a comfort thing.
When you come to the end of the road of a path that you have travelled for several months it is hard to believe you have made it to the other side of that moment or event in your life. Graduation and your diploma. So to create a sense of closure instead of loss I created a catalogue of the show from beginning to end. It was like an art scrapbook. I wanted it to look professional and be a tool to used to show what I am capable of as an artist.
I have some ideas I am mulling around with still to add or make the catalogue better. I also am enjoying several good books this week. But I decided to take a break and catch up with all the epeeps. I need to keep my battaries recharged for my camera. I am very excited about journals and pictures. I did not take that many pictures at the opening reception so this journal is lacking that special touch but I am rethinking my journaling.
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Permalink: Thursday_Take_Down_Friday_Catalogue.html
Words: 401
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: art show

07/06/09 10:55 - 68ºF - ID#49204 pmobl

My Half of Crawlspaces Art Exhibition

I do not have the other artists permission to post her art. Therefore you have only the 13 Itaglio Prints I created. Included are a brief descriptions about the art called Artist Statements.

CRAWLSPACES DEFINED:
crawl-space /krol/speys/ Spelled Pronunciation [krawl-speys] "noun (in a building) an area accessible by crawling, having a clearance less than human, height, for access to plumbing or wiring, storage, etc. Also, crawl space.
Origin: 1950-55; CRAWL¹ + SPACE

www.dictionary.reference.com

Crawlspaces

    This show represents the “fairy tales” of our youth grown into fractured histories and includes that which goes bump in the night. Not everything is as it seems, do not judge this book by its cover, but look deep into the recesses of your mind to see what is just around the corner? Did you feel something grab your ankle? What was that lurking at you from the shadows?

    It is a serious irony that beckons our psyche’s to turn on and off the light switch of reality. What is real? Where do dreams live? What feeds us to become the best or worst we can be? What defines our character? What role do we play on the stage of life? What angels and demons keep us on the straight and narrow? What critters dispense wisdom? Who challenges us to meet our potential?

    FLIPSIDE: Then if you were on the metaphysical plane of existence what employment opportunities would you find? Do you have what it takes to scare the daylights out of someone? What would your job description be if you were filling the shoes of a human archetype? What is the rest of the story?

“Almost Finished”: State 1 I have a confession to make. I love jewelry. I remember stories from when I was little about the best jewelers in mythology being Trolls. So every time I look at a piece of jewelry I imagine the artist that created such a beautiful work of art and love what went into its creation. So even though Trolls might be ugly and have mean dispositions, they must also have a softer side.

    Here is what my mind sees when I think of who creates such beautiful art that can be worn. The magic that propels its artist is love and the joy of the finished product.

    State 1 is a rare and limited edition because once I found the paper to bring out the details of the cave, I permanently changed the plate to show those cave wall details that appear in State 2. But State 1 is like the ringing of a bell you can never un-ring it. So once the plate was change so was the print lifespan of State 1.
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“Almost Finished”: State 2 is the continuing tale of the artistic process. When an artist creates you are trying to bring to life that which your imagination sees so clearly. We have to deal with our faults and foibles as humans during this process of creation. Knowing that what we envision may not be represented in the finished product.

    Here is what my mind sees when I think of who creates such beautiful art that can be worn. The magic that propels its artist is love and the joy of the finished product.

    State 1 is a rare and limited edition because once I found the paper to bring out the details of the cave, I permanently changed the plate to show those cave wall details that appear in State 2.
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“Angel” Can you see a species created to do the divine’s will? A being that is intelligent, knows what God knows and willingly serves all of creation.

    While I was in college there was a great debate in one of my course as to the practicality of such a creature being able to protect both men and women. I thought about this and my brain decided that angels must be hermaphrodites, a perfect balance of both male and female.
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“Blue Sprite” all the Sprite prints are experiments to show the hidden magical essences of the species of Fey known as sprites. They are the workaholics of the Fairy Realm. They make things, fix things, destroy things and keep everything running smoothly. This particular sprite is in charge of gathering berries to dye fabric. She is caught unawares, distracted by something off in the distance.

The plate stays the same for each print of the sprites. I was experimenting with the watercolor process to enhance the story of the print. The Blue Sprite is an alum watercolor painting done before the actual print is made. Several steps must occur in order to produce this print. The hardest of which is the registration of the hand-painted sections to the machine-operated printing press.
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“Desidere” means to desire in Latin. Desidere is a succubus, a female demon that inspires lust and carnal enjoyment. Do you what know it feels like to want something so bad you can taste it? Imagine living day to day with that torment that is the existence of the incubus and succubus.

    What if a demon figured out a way to escape the realms of Hades to reach the human world? What would that demon do or risk to experience their desire’s come to fruition? Desidere stands at the precarious moment between leaving the world she knows and is comfortable with, to experience her inner most desires in a new world. The mythology of humans she knows only about in stories. Besides her decision, which she has yet to complete; what if she gets caught?
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“Gargoyle” are protectors of all that is good and holy. They were created to alert humans to the presence of evil. A very powerful magician cursed all Gargoyles. During very dark times when the belief was that knowledge is power, the curse froze their blood and bone into stone as the sun ruled the heavens. They would then return to flesh when the moon rose.

    Gargoyles are beings of great power to see things as they are. No illusions, trickery or deception will keep a gargoyle from knowing your true nature. Whether you are good or evil?
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“Griffin” also spelled Gryphon are creatures that are half lion and half bird.
        
    When my grandmother died we were cleaning out her apartment and among her things I found some of my grandfather’s belongings. He had passed away twenty years earlier. There was a piece of silver cast in the image of a creature I knew nothing about. After some research I discovered this being had a name and a definition, but not its story.

Here is the visual response to my mental search to why my grandfather had an image of a griffin amongst his worldly possessions?
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“Grimmie” my nickname for the Grim Reaper. Death is a friend of mine with an interesting job. What does Death do when Death is not working? Where does Death go to relax? What does Death do in his spare time? So I asked my friend and this is what he said:
“You know I am on call 24-7. So I always have to have my mantle with me. Have you ever heard of a place called Stonehenge? Well, it is quiet there. I like to go there and think about my experiences. The grass is soft under my feet; the stones are cool and refreshing. I especially love the nighttime when the moon is high in the sky illuminating the inner light, the essence of energy that exists in every living thing. Within me there is a particle of all living things at the moment I was created. I also have the homeostatic particles of the elements of the change between the worlds the moment when something is about to change its existence. It is how I do my job. Speaking of which I have to go… See you around.”
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“Juniper” My baby dragon was sleeping. Juniper, choose to reveal herself to me when she was sneaking a snack from Mom’s fresh baked biscuits. After having had her fill, contented, she decided to take a nap where it was still nice and warm. The biscuits were still warm from the oven. I came home from school to see fresh baked biscuits and my mouth began to water. I had the same idea, a small snack before dinner. When to my surprise, my biscuit moved as I was trying to butter it. Did you know that dragons could hide themselves by imitating the surface of the surrounding environment, which helps them stay camouflaged, hidden from view? Juniper was just as stunned to be rudely awakened from her nap. There I was holding the butter knife in one hand and her in the other hand. That is how we met.
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“Only on the Wings of Fire” One evening, in the quiet, I was taking a pomegranate break on my porch. I was watching the sun set in a blaze when I noticed something moving inside the big ball of fire. Gifted with watching the Phoenix rise from the ashes of her death pyre, I was magically changed forever. This is a special occasion as it only happens once every thousand years. It made such an impact on my mind that I attempted to recreate it for you.
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“Rainbow Sprite” She is caught unawares distracted by something off in the distance. You can actually see a live sprite with your eyes at the moment when prisms of light are dancing. A Pollyanna moment captured for your enjoyment.

The plate stays the same for each print of the sprites. I was experimenting with the watercolor process to enhance the story of the print. The Rainbow Sprite is an alum watercolor painting completed on the paper before the actual print is made. Each piece of paper is hand painted so that each print is unique.
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“Reflections” Fairy or the Fey are a genus with many different and distinct species to their credit. Their lifespan is for thousands of years, so their perspectives on just about everything is foreign to our own finite existence.
There is something that can not be articulated into words; something that is always hidden about the Fey. Throughout their evolution as a species there are multitudes of stories, but no cohesive history or even mythology. They are always an unknown entity that should be approached with caution and the greatest respect.
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"Sprite" The plate stays the same for each print of the sprites. I was experimenting with the watercolor process to enhance the story of the print. The Sprite print is the focus on the feeling of movement of the creature. The plate is prepared to print, but I wanted to have very little residue to highlight the motion of flight with the residue, like the trail of pixie dust.
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Thank you for your participation! These images available for purchase in bookmarks, 8 1/2" x 11" prints, note cards and magnets. Again the 464 Gallery has extended our show until this thursday!
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Permalink: My_Half_of_Crawlspaces_Art_Exhibition.html
Words: 1863
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: experiment

07/06/09 10:11 - 68ºF - ID#49203

Zoo Pictures

My friend at work sent me some cute photos I requested after I saw them displayed.

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Big, Little Ellies
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Lions!
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Tigers!

OH MY!
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Permalink: Zoo_Pictures.html
Words: 29
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: art show

07/05/09 01:25 - ID#49197

Opening Aftermath

What a completely crazy day. July 3rd, 2009 was my opening reception for Crawlspaces. It is crazy like a wedding, double checking, last run through, making sure everything is just right, caterer, food, hair, makeup, clothes, camera, praying the rain will hold off, hoping you did not forget anything, realizing you did but even in the day and age of cell phones it is too late to do anything about it and reminding yourself no one knows your forgot the ...
Due to the July 4th Holiday the 464 Gallery has extended our time for our exhibition, which will be open during normal gallery hours until Thursday, July 9th, 2009. Our closing afternoon will be between 12-6pm on that day. What a nice present!
I got to see so many people and talk with everyone briefly. It is wonderful to have people interested in what occupies your time in the studio. I enjoy answering questions about my artwork. The last time I had an art exhibition is almost ten years ago. It meant the world to me to see anyone and everyone who could come.
My caterer is a great friend from high school and brought amazing culinary pastries that he is known for. We had a veggie platter with a wonderful ranch style dip. Also a fruit platter with a whipped light sweetness concoction that was divine. A kicking' punch was there to wet your whistle and to wash all the great food down to refresh yourself. And as I am aware of new things there will always be bottled water since my father's new kidney! I did not get to taste much of the food until the next morning for breakfast as most of my time was with my friends and family. This time I forgot to take a picture! *SIGH*
My fellow artist Heather brought in fresh flowers to add a splash of color around the gallery. Her 13 pieces of art were watercolor paintings of various sizes.
Let me tell you the strange story of Crawlspaces. Heather and I met on BSC campus in the early 90's. I was coming in and she was preparing to graduate. We spent lots of time working in those days in the quiet studios at Upton Hall. After she graduated I had submerges myself into my degrees and art. Life moves on. We lost touch for almost 10 years. Then one evening we got reacquainted at one of the local shops on Elmwood. We began to reconnect and begin our friendship all over again. This time with a new twist. See when you graduate life begins with work and everything else is scheduled in between. Neither one of us is working directly in the art field, so we became accountable to each for our artistic goals.
Hey did you meet that Friday deadline! I thought this new festival sounds cool, should we bring our art. When we started looking around at galleries to consider showing our artwork is when we started to organize our portfolios. We met with Marcus and Jill of 464. We brought in our portfolios. They were like these two bodies of work share the same theme and the idea of Crawlspaces was born.
We worked on our own themes separately. We were reconstructing the archetypes, mythos and philosophy that we believe. We were asking ourselves where did this idea come from? Why do I believe this way? What experiences created this perspective? Remembering the soul food of our youth! What is it that lives in the back of our brains that keeps us alive and functioning?
One of my guests was asking why I insisted on having everyone sign the guest book. I feel the need to express myself to everyone. When an artist has an idea it stays inside them for an incubation period, usually when the Muse kicks us in the derrière we begin bringing that idea to life using are skills as an artisan. Showing other people is a huge step. Letting our work speak for itself to the public. An exhibition is an artist soul on display for you to connect with or not. The guest book is the coming full circle and a participatory responsibility you have to the artist. Your comments and opinions allow an artist his or her growth. To rethink the deliveries of an idea come to life. An analogy most people can identify with is your High School Yearbook. You wanted everyone, even people you did not know to sign your yearbook and this repeated itself until the culmination of graduation when it was really the last time this would occur with these individuals. A Guest book is very like the experience you had in high school signing someone’s yearbook. You are telling us how what we created with our minds, hands, skills, training and hearts how it touched you. THAT experience that you are having is the closing of the artistic experience, so please do not be shy, please share it!
I do apologize that I have not learned and seem to be having technological difficlties with posting pictures to my journals. I would ask that if you are in the neighborhood, please stop in and see the show. Again it is up until this thursday and remember to please sign the guest book.
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Permalink: Opening_Aftermath.html
Words: 884
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: art show

07/01/09 01:37 - 71ºF - ID#49140

YOU ARE ALL INVITED!

Hello All EPEEPS! I know it has been way too long since my last journal,but I wanted to invite you all to an Opening Reception to my Art Exhibtion called Crawlspaces with a fellow artist Heather Gillette. It is a free event with food and beverage until it runs out! This Friday July 3rd, 2009 from 6-9pm. The show is up an running from June 29th to July 6th. See www.mindweb.us for 464 gallery details. Here are the 464 Gallery hours: Tuesday through Friday 12 - 6pm; Saturday 11-6pm and Sunday 11-5pm. 464 Gallery is located at 464 Amherst Street Buffalo NY 14207 between Elmwood Avenue and Grant Street. Please remember to sign in the guestbook and give your opinion, I will especially look forward to reading it!

I do apologize for such a late notice. I am hoping the picture of the invitation will post.
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Permalink: YOU_ARE_ALL_INVITED_.html
Words: 147
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: body

03/14/08 03:09 - 46ºF - ID#43667

Spine

Blessings to having a week off from one responsibility and then I discover that I am acting like I am completely stressed out. Can’t really figure it? I just wanted to shut off. No more efficacies. No more to do lists. No more things that need to be done. No more responsibilities. Then it hit me like a load of bricks. I do not want to do this right now. Of course the question was what do I want to do?

We get so loaded up with what we have to do that we forget that sometimes we have wants or needs. Sometimes I just need to sit and watch movies until my brain decides to start firing on its own. The realization occurs to you as you have discovered you really are addicted to spider solitaire. Long hours staring into space and then it hits you really hard.

Many years ago I had a really painful experience of falling down a flight of concrete stairs and knock out of whack 9 vertebrae of my spine. I went to my doctor to find out why I was having headaches and then backaches. Well, DUH! So I am now in physical therapy. I used to be an athlete. It’s like my brain is still wired to working out and I haven’t done it in years due to my other health problem. I’m in there and the competitive edges creeps up on me daring me to go harder, faster and then PAIN! Ouch!

I am constantly told that your young yet and you don’t know about pain. (Well, big fat raspberries to you, bucko!) Everyone has had a toothache at least once in your life. That dull throbbing ache that attacks one space in your mouth that you inspect with your tongue every thirty seconds. Hold that feeling in your mind. Take it out of your mouth and place it at the back of your skull. Your skull sucks it in like smelling roses and the scent wafts as it travels the length of your spine to where you sit, your tailbone. Remember that pain. Imagine it has traveled up and down your spine aching and throbbing until your muscles begin to tighten. Those muscles keep tightening and forget how to relax. Then you tell it to go to rehab!

Rehabilitation. Yes, I want to be able to move again without the pain. It’s amazing how the pain doesn’t leave. It’s ebb and flow does not coincide with my life or its routines. It doesn’t like to go away. This pain is like when you got left out in grammar school. Like when your school chums had to pick teams and you were the one left over that neither team wanted. It just wants you to want it to be there. Yet it does not realize that it is just a huge pain in the ass. Literally the pain that holds your sciatic nerve from stretching, that causes our fingers and toes to fall asleep just because you breathe. It does not matter what position you stand, sit or lay down and still body parts just up and take a vacation.

Spinal struggle. This internal tug of war is causing a stress that I do not know how to avoid and yet they tell there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stress causes more pain in my back. It is an endless evil struggle just to be sane. How do you turn off the trigger? How do I get better? I keep doing my homework. I keep going to rehab. I keep feeling the pain.

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Permalink: Spine.html
Words: 613
Location: Buffalo, NY


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joe said to joe
Never send a man to do a grandma's job...

sina said to sina
yes thank you!
Well, since 2018 I am living in France, I have finished my second master of science,...

paul said to sina
Nice to hear from you!! Hope everything is going great....

paul said to twisted
Hello from the east coast! It took me so long to see this, it might as well have arrived in a lette...