On this day, I turn 31.

And thus I face the disturbing reality that I'm now closer to 40 than 20, and that I'm not allowed to have any more late nights out, fun, or sex until I divorce my first wife, buy an expensive sports car, and pick up the second trophy wife.

Of course, I've never been married, have never owned a minivan, and I'm generally the type of guy that trophy wives tend to avoid. I'm totally failing society's expectations of near-middle age mediocrity. And that's even more disturbing, because it puts me in a kind of limbo where I don't have any well-treaded paths to follow and no herd mentality to safely cling to and use to disavow any accusation of stagnation or complacency by saying "I was doing what everyone else was doing."

I've somehow ended up driving the bumper car out of the theme park. So now what?

In hindsight, I reallly should have talked to the blond girl in horn-rimmed glasses. I am such a wuss. The worst fate I can meet is, after all, the current situation I find myself in.

Upon being sober, I'm sure that none of this will make sense.

(to the tune of Donovan's 'There Is A Mountain')

First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is

Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan
Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan

First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is

Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat
Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat

First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is

Random subjects

Cuteness: (e:lizabeth) sent me a to a cute shirt (at the very bottom of the linked page) that will put on threadless. I find it both completely stupid and completely profound at the same time, kind of like a William Carlos Williams poem . I want one.

On the PHP meeting: went well. The sponsors sprung for pizza at Casa di Pizza, which was cool. While it's more of a recruitment gimmick for a local tech company than anything else, it does somewhat fill the gap of the technology/programming clubs I left back in NC. I got to go bowling with the group afterwards, which is pretty cool.

On discovering honeycrisp apples: They are like crack that grows on trees. They are just that good. They are THE platonic form of what a good apple should sound, feel, and taste like. Wow.

I have come to two conclusions about this weekend.

1) I had a pretty activity-packed halloween; it certainly made up for all the weekends I spent inside doing nothing particularly useful.



2) There is nothing hotter than a hot librarian with a hollowed-out book dancing to techno.

Future parties:

First off, someone in Amherst is having a halloween techno party, and me and (e:ladycroft) have thought about going for about an hour (it's being hosted by the bald guy who was handing out fliers at the party last night). I've got 2-3 more slots in my car if anyone's interested (I'll be DD'ing). message/email/whatever me if you want to come along. Space in my car is limited, first come first serve. Here's a link to the party if you want to drive/go yourself.





Past parties:

I went to (e:ladycroft) 's party last night, in spite of me being absent-minded enough to think the party was happening the 31st (I know, I know, who the hell has a drinking party on a tuesday). Around 9:00PM last night, I realized my mistake and scrambled to get a costume. Everywhere else was closed, but Tops was open. They didn't have anything that would really fit a person older than 12....except in the Christmas section. So I did the only thing I could do, and bought an green "elf" stocking cap with ears on the side. My story would be that santa was now letting
Jews work into his factory as part of an expanded diversity program. I don't have any pictures but I'm guessing that I might appear in one or two posted by another peep.

Aftermath: I ended up have a lot of fun, but I did take a fall on the steps going out and I woke up with a butt-ache this morning. And to answer (e:lizabeth) 's phone texted question from last night, a great many cute chicas were spotted, a decent number talked to, but that's about the extent of it.

Had a fairly boring weekend until last night. Around 2:00AM, I heard this banging and thumping sound that sounded like it was coming from my house. The landlady and her college-age daughters who live can be rather loud at times, especially when they're fighting about something. I wrote it off as that and continued watching Futurama; I have a boring life, what can I say.

After several minutes, I was able to trace the yelling and crashing sounds to this group of several people running back and forth across the street; it wasn't actually coming from the house. People on the street can be loud, so I didn't think anything of it. Then I see these guys who are running around and yelling jump on top of cars and kick off their side mirrors from the doors. I was worried that either my car was going to be next (and therefore I needed someone to chase them away with) or that my car had already been abused (and I needed something to open a can of whoopass on their sorry hoodlum asses). After I retrieved said Item of Whoopass, that I probably couldn't have used anyways because doing so would cause too many problems for me, I saw that the thugs had already made their way down Utica.

My next-door neighbor called the cops, and probably 45 minutes later they arrived. Probably was a long response time, but then again, when they paid us a visit they had already nabbed the kids and had them in the car, so the 45 minutes was probably well-spent on their part. And as far as I can tell, my car received no damage.

While this area of Buffalo I live in is not necessarily a "bad neighborhood", it does have it's sketchier moments. It's sort of like being in a stretch of ocean where most of the time you have normal, somewhat interesting fish swim by, occasionally you have a really beautiful fish swim by, and once in a while you have a shark swim by. Last night, it was the sharks who paid us a visit.

I seriously need to invest in some home security paraphenalia, preferably of the Vermont's finest sugar-maple kind used for hitting baseballs with.

Today, I saw the Prestige. Wow. The critics really have it wrong on this one. Hollywood finally bucks its stupid remake trend and produces a fascinating film with original ideas that make you think just a little, and I wish they would recognize it. It was a little long, and the plot was a little too twisty, but it was really good.

So the first real week of me being a single again has passed. I really don't know what to think of it at this point, other than this general "great, now what the hell do I do" feeling. Part of me wants to get back in the saddle immediately, part of me wants to engage in a monk-like celibate quest for self-betterment, and the rational part of me thinks that either of these choices is taking things to an extreme. I guess it's pointless to mentally debate this, though this is my diary of sorts, so I guess I have a responsibility to record of there being such a debate.

Got a little more work on the improved estrip dashboard widget done tonight. Not enough for another general release, but enough to accomodate a future comments addition. I've still got this question of "just how wide is too wide for a dashboard widget, and how many features will I add before I'm better of just creating an application instead". I do know that being able to see dates on the latest comments on an post would be useful to some folks (including myself).

Finally, what soundtrack would define me as a person? I'd guess the one that makes up my iTunes Library and all the crazy shit on it. This was a total random shuffle, following the rules (e:jenks) mentioned in her post. I'm actually surpised I didn't get any birdcalls from that time I had accidently imported all the Ghost Recon sound effects into iTunes; I certainly don't think that my prom experience was exciting enough to warrant "tufted titmouse". My Lexx Brigadoom stuff did get put into the list on two separate soundtrack elements, and given what an obscure show it was, it might as well be birdcalls.

Opening Credits:
Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog

Waking Up:
Even though - Sugar Ray

First Day At School:
Theme song from Lexx (German version) - Lexx Sountrack

Falling In Love:
Oye Como Va - Santana

Breaking Up:
Green Manalishi with a three-pronged crown - Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac

Prom:
Jammin' Bob Marley

Life's Ok:
Theme from Braveheart

Mental Breakdown:
Island in the Sun - Weezer

Driving:
Hannukah in Santa Monica - Tom Lehrer

Flashback:
His Shadow Is Coming -- Lexx: Brigadoom Sountrack

Getting Back Together:
BeOS blues

Birth of Child
Waiting Room - No Doubt (I'm not shitting. This is what actually appeared)

Wedding Scene:
Skeletons of Quinto - The Folksmen (from Mighty Wind Soundtrack)

Final Battle:
Silent E. - Tom Lehrer

Death Scene:
Lluba (Don't Wake Me Up Before the Sun Shines) -ll- Les Yeux Noirs

Funeral Song:
Fire, Water, Burn - Bloodhound Gang

End Credits:
The ending of Dan Brown's novel Angels and Demons.

Several significant things happened this weekend.

First off, I'm single again.

Me and the girlfriend in NC finally acknowledged that our relationship was over. We officially broke up Friday. I do feel sad about it, but I almost feel more weird than sad. It's this weird "I must get rid of all the clothes in my closet because they don't really fit anymore and go out and buy new ones" kind of feeling.

In addition to feeling weird about it, I also feel a little worried. After my first girlfriend, it took me two years before I got the second one. After that one, it took me six years before I was with the one I broke up with. If one looks at the "multiples of three" pattern here, it'll be 12 years before I find another girl who'd want to be with me. That's a very long time. I hope the pattern doesn't continue to hold as the six-year dry spell really sucked.

I suspect that this preparation will involve a lot of working towards the body I've always wanted, improving daily habits, and consolation with weekly viewings of the Fight Club DVD. Yeah, I grieve in weird ways.

In other news, Buffalo's gotten knocked off its ass by a snowstorm. Civilization has partially stopped. Strangely enough, I'm used to this. Hurricane Fran turned the place into MadMax, and the ice storm several years ago did to NC what the snow did to Buffalo (but much, much worse). I'm used to living without power, I'm used to living without heat and having to use a fireplace for warmth and a propane grill for cooking. Whenever I see heavy snows, I have this instinctual drive to get bread and milk, as silly as it sounds. That's what we did back home.

I've actually made out fairly well. I live on Richmond, and the "avenue of trees", well, do the math. I actually has power, gas, and the necessities of living. I just don't have TV and Internet, so I have to make due with cafes offering access. I'd like to find a few more besides starbucks, as they tend to charge a decent sum. It's driving me crazy not to have Internet, but I know that others are far worse then I, so I should be thankful.

Oh, and last night, I should add, I crossed with (e:vincent) into Canada. Had a good time in Niagara Falls. Canada was a LOT of fun, and that's all I'm saying.

Mix one part boredom, one part curiousity, and rudimentary text-editing skills, and the result is this silly little thing I created: an estrip Dashboard widget for Mac OS X. It's basically a stock Apple thingy I modified to work with estrip (which probably doesn't even count as real programming work). But I find it useful for getting a quick summary of the latest posts. gather tracking number: 0385317001160110609
In the future, I'd like to add some more features and more customized artwork.

In other news, I go to yet another PHP users meetup. Again, I'm the only person attending. Everyone else has been such flakes, and I can't blame them totally because the people running the group have cancelled so many group meetings or changed venus that not a lot of people seem to have faith in the group. Also, the H.R. guy who started the group (as a sneaky recruiting tool) got fired from the company that had a lot of the members coming to the group. Arrgh. Why can't there just be one tech group I can attend in Buffalo, like Internetworkers back home?

I've sometimes toyed with the idea of creating an informal technologist group that meets every week somewhere (spot, bars, etc) to drink beer/coffee, network, and shoot the shit about the latest developments in digital stuff. I'm still toying, because the PHP group is really not giving me my fix because they're almost never meeting.