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carolinian’s journal

WWFD (What Would Frasier Do?)

· · 🌡️ 55°F

Thought of the day: relationships suck. Especially when you're torn between wanting to be with someone at all costs and listening to the people you know and trust (yourself included) who have correctly pointed the number of difficulties that you've had in your relationship.

And so I'm faced with a paradox. It feels like the relationship was always meant to be, and that I know the person as well as I know myself. Yet at the same time the other half the relationship is unwilling to match the 50% of the compromise, sacrifice, and personal growth that I'm willing to put forward, and ones wiser than myself tell me that these attributes are cornerstones of relationships that are meant to be.

I know that no amount of complaining that I do will resolve any of these issues, as sorely tempted as I am to do this (which I probably will do over the next several weeks). For tonight, the most I can do is ponder how confused I am right now and take some comfort in the fact that writing this all down makes me feel better.
186 words

💬 8 comments

  1. jason ·

    Hey bro. My feeling has always been that each person has to give 100% and nothing less. If you get the gut feeling that something ain't right, it's time to move on and know it's the right decision. Good luck!

  2. jason ·

    Oh, to answer your question. Frasier would sit with Niles, have a Sherry, and talk about his feelings. Then he would probably get himself in trouble with his mouth, have to weasel his way out of it somehow, but in the end it would be okay.

  3. carolinian ·

    @jason, congrats on the new job. It's such a relief when you finally find a computer job that fits your abilities--or you find an employer who's more interested in your problem-solving abilities than what what flavor-of-the-month language you know. Visual basic is a pretty easy-to-learn environment, so you shouldn't have too much trouble adapting.

  4. metalpeter ·

    I guess the real question is are you Happy? Where is the realtionship at sexualy and where do you want it to be? Would you really be better off alone? Those are really the question you need to ask your self before you decide what you want to do. You know your personality better then anyone else and knows how you will feal the best that is a big consideration. Some people are verry picky and if it isn't mister/Miss right then they can't be with them. Then some people always have to have a signifagant other just to feal that companionship even if there is lots of fighting. Basicly you have to decide what way you will really be happiest and go with that and see if there are any other factors that if they changed might make you happier. What ever happens I wish you luck.

  5. mrmike ·

    I concur with Jason on this one. If you feel you're getting gyped emotionally than it ain't a relationship. The give and take has to be mutual or it's doomed.

  6. theecarey ·

    You nailed it, @jason

    It has to be 100% from both of you- no less.

    If it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt.

    You cant rationalize it "better". It is what it is.

    Often we know the answers in our gut-- it sounds like you know.. Now its a matter of what are you going to do about it? Best of luck on that!

    haha, @jason I think you nailed what would Frasier do as well.

  7. jenks ·

    haha, are you sure you're not writing this about my life?
    While I agree with everyone, and know that you'll never be happy if you settle, I 100% understand what you're feeling. And yes, it sucks. Good luck.

  8. lilho ·

    my mom says, and she knows everything. you should make yourself happy first, and then decide.

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