For the past several days, I have been splitting my time between the old house in sunny LA and the new house in Colden, also known as "Ski Country" or "the snowiest place in WNY". It's amazing. Well, frankly, the house isn't so great. It's a white hillside ranch, modular house built in 1955, very different from the house we currently live in which was built in the 20's and definitely has, in my opinion, more character. And we have a lot of work to do. The people who lived there before us, didn't actually seem to do anything but paint and put up border paper. They were really big on border paper. What is so great is the land that the house sits on. It's just under two acres, totally surrounded by evergreen trees. In the front yard is an old Oak tree. In the back there are two maples and a crab apple and about five apple trees. I'm planning on being an apple pie baking machine this fall. We'll see, though. I do make some mean apple pies, from scratch, including the crust! But I digress... We also have a blueberry bush, blackberry bushes, elderberry bushes, and I suspect red currants and raspberry bushes. What's also awesome is the inground pool! Hallelujah for the pool! Especially in the weather we've been having. Off of the pool is a screened in gazebo. Towards the back of the property is the barn. It's not one of those dilapidated barns you see around, it's a really nice, really sturdy Amish built barn. I'd never been excited about a barn before now. I don't know what's happening to me.

It's so quiet out there, it's like a whole 'nother world. I can't wait for autumn just to see all of the leaves change colour. I am not, however looking forward to all of the snow, and the drive to work and school is not going to be quick and fun. But it's a trade off, I guess.

My new favourite activity, asides from swimming, is sitting on the back steps of the deck and watching all of the bumble bees gather pollen from the clover. It just makes me smile. And there are so many butterflies! It's just beautiful.

It's such a huge change but it's one that my parents have definitely needed for a long time. Right now, we're knee deep in paint and cleaning supplies and it seems overwhelming and yesterday I didn't get to finish what I wanted to accomplish, although I did assemble the patio furniture, but we have to keep focused on the fact that it is worth it. I think everytime we step outside, or watch a rainstorm from the sunroom, we are reminded that we absolutely made the right choice for us now.

I think the heat is making people crazy! Anyone else notice people being particularly whackey today?

So, I finally broke down and ordered Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I'm going to have to wait until next week to read it, so NO ONE SAY ANYTHING, should you read it before I do. Also, today, for those of you not in "the Know" is Sexy Underwear Day. Let your imaginations take that wherever your little heart desires. Adieu!

Yay! Today, I got to jump in our new pool, despite the rain! And it was awesome! Everything I thought it could be and more! Oh, and Happy Bastile Day everyone!

I'm tired right now and my job is making me nuts, but what else is new. Doesn't it just suck when you need to take off a day really, really bad and you can't! I can't take care of my school things that I need to, I can't take off to help my parents move, I can't take off because there is at least one person off in my bank branch until God knows when. I'm feeling the pressure, like I'm going to snap. If I didn't have a car payment and car insurance and student loans and credit card bills to pay, this week I would totally have told my boss to fuck off! Some days, what I would give to go back to being 6 years old again! I think that's about it for now. My best friend is away. I'm surviving without her. I can't wait 'til she comes home, but I hope very much that she's having a good time. Ciao.

Is there anything better than a compliment, except perhaps a compliment from a stranger? Last week, I had someone tell me that I look like Nicole Kidman. I don't, but thanks! ( I'm much too short and chubby.) And today, I had someone tell me I look like Drew Barrymore! (That one, especially when I was thinner, I would buy.) Sweet! As the rest of my day is pretty, "Eh", I'm clinging to these spontaneous moments of joy. And they are two of my favourite actresses that are still living. Sweet!

Tomorrow, my mother and I are going to be picking up the newest addition to the Szymanski family- our new puppy, Ella. She's about 8 weeks old and 20 pounds already! Isn't she just adorable!



She is our Bernese Mountain Dog. I cannot wait to see her little face! And pinch her little fat butt! (We're big on pinching chubby animal butts in my family. Don't ask!) I did not pick the name, surprisingly enough, my mother did, but as if *I* would ever object to the name Ella. So today, my mom and I went to buy last minute things like a Kong and a stuffed, squeeky cow and some treats.

I can't believe it! A puppy! We haven't had a dog in our family in like eight years. Nothing but cats in that entire time. I get the feeling we're in for a pretty big adjustment. So are our cats. YIKES! They've never seen a dog up close before, except for my little Jack, may he rest in peace, so this shall be interesting. I'm so excited! Ciao!

That cold feeling of dread crept up my spine this morning as my alarm clock went off and I heard the radio announcer say that there were attacks in London. Then, five minutes later, my brother called, wanting to know if the family was fine. The family is fine. Fortunately for my family, and for my sanity, my family lives, respectively, in Coventry in the Midlands and on the East coast in Lincolnshire. But for that moment, always that brief moment... I was the one who told my mother. I couldn't help but cry as I saw the footage as my brain kept thinking, "I was just there, not two months ago!" And I thought of one of my customer's whose twin daughters only just returned from studying in London and I knew she would be relieved. My heart and my prayers go out the victims and their families. One cannot help but wonder was this linked to the G8 summit, or to the Israeli summit that is taking place in London or a statement linked to the announcement of the Olympics. It's terrible no matter what, but why? Then again, can there ever be a reason good enough for something so horrific. I highly doubt it.

YAY! I'm no longer a black box! I am me, well, me from 2 and a half years ago me, back when I had red hair in NYC me, but still me! Yep. That's pretty much what I look like, just change the colour of the curls and there you have it! Thank you so vey much, oh dear best friend, Dina. I shall miss you whilst you are away, more than you will know. That's about it for now! Oh! I am so jubilant!

I'd never before realized just how much I look at the world in black and white. Sure, I know that there's grey area, I often argue FOR the grey area, but in my life, I really do see things as "This is this, and that is that. Period." This weekend, amidst my floundering emotions, I discovered some very important things. First of all, I learned that when it comes to the Boy, what I think I know and what I actually know, are two very different things. I make assumptions about him, a very stupid thing to do, and then I build upon that assumption, driving myself to, well, where I was yesterday and Saturday. It's very humbling to realize that *I* am the one who has driven me to the brink of despair, not him. It was all my assumptions. In my defense, How was I to know that he wasn't going to get in until late Saturday night, rather than Friday night, and that he was driving in rather than flying. He never told me, so I made assumptions. Stupid, stupid girl. And I learned some interesting things about him when I spoke to hm, things that completely shocked me. He is neither a Republican (again which I assumed) nor a Democrate. He doesn't like political parites, nor politicians. He is conservative when it comes to fiscal responsibility, but liberal in his social ideals. And he doesn't believe in forcing his ideals upon someone else. You live your life and he'll live his. These are things that I didn't know about him, and yet it says so very much. But mostly what it tells me is that I have to throw out the window every idea I ever had of him and just discover. I love him more than ever and it's because of what I'm just finding out. He doesn't deserve to be burned at the stake. SpringFaerie deserves to be flogged for her rampant stupidity and blindness. I shall have to just let go and let him be him instead of what I think I want him to be, because frankly, the person whom I'm discovering is a hell of a lot more interesting.

Okay, I'm not anywhere near as angry as I was earlier today, due to the fact that I sat down, had a bit of a cry, read a chapter in my new book ironically titled, "How to Meet Cute Boys". It's a novel and it's funny. I also ate dinner, tried to take a nap but it was too hot in my room, and finally, FINALLY began work on my resume. Actually, the resume is done as far as I am concerned, now it's just the cover letter and I have not the faintest clue on where to begin. I have the first sentence done. It's a start. So, productivity won out in the end. Probably a good thing, but that was after I had my cry, my least favourite thing in the world, but I did feel better, I suppose. I couldn't dwell on it because if I did, I was going to hurt something. It's moments like these when I think "Fuck it. Maybe casual sex is the way to go." And I'm not a casual sex person. At least then, I'd be gettin' some. But that is neither here nor there.

I want to say that I'll just freeze my heart up again, but I hate that person that I become. And I'm not happy. Of course, is anyone ever really happy for more than a moment? Maybe that is what we ought to live for, those moments of brief, intense joy and that is what the Boy does bring me, but is it worth all of this? Is it worth all of my agony for a few moments of joy, or, as in Thursday's case, a full 24 hours of bliss and joy.

Men, I just don't understand you at all. And you guys bitch about women. You're no great prize to figure out yourselves, you know.

Peace out.