come home

here's what i've accomplished from my posting the other day (see my post #29)

relaxing: i relax all the time. and i get requests for relaxing together with other people. i love seeing people relaxing

house cleaning/cleansing (i am especially good at doing deep cleaning involved with moving): i have totally changed the space i am living in. it was honestly the dirtiest place i've ever lived in that wasn't on wheels. i scrubbed the kitchen multiple times and cleaned off years of dirt from baseboards and months of two people who often spill things, and did lots of other intense cleaning. i have spent two hours a day cleaning here.

reiki: i did reiki today, but only for a minute because i have not been doing reiki much for the past months so i need to reestablish my connection with it

picking up trash: i have taken out a bag of trash six times this past week

taking care of children: i live with an infant and often feed her and hold her

spreading peace: i went to a sufi ritual to open your heart. we chanted and sang and danced together slowly and opened our hearts. it was a ritual i was unfamiliar with until this point.

arts & crafts: decorating for christmas. once the apartment was clean and cleared, my roommie and i were able to put up a christmas tree. we've been making baby books and will make christmas ornaments

cooking (vegetarian) meals for groups of people (especially brunch): i cooked brunch the other day for four people, we had scrambled eggs, hash browns, and pancakes and free dumpster bagels (which were totally legit, inside their own bag on top of everything), and coffee and mellow tea. welcome to oda's!




and here's what i've received

money, from my uncle, who sent me $100 bill for christmas and from my job stuffing envelopes, which ended up paying me $45 for the 10 hours i worked

rides to run errands around town, my mom brought me to go grocery shopping, and i spent the first $25 of my christmas money at wegmans, which enabled me to cook one of my best indian lentil dishes to share at a vegan potluck with a bunch of hippies

positive vibes, circle after dinner where we all shared a bit about who we are by telling the high point and low point of the past week

love, i am blessed to receive free yoga classes from a wise, poetic yoga teacher who has helped shape who i am. i hadn't been going to yoga only because i didn't have the money to do so, and although i never told her that, she made that beautiful offer.

we are so blessed!

thank you.

i went for a super long walk. it's a nice day and it's nice to feel some air that's not overly dry from the heating.

early on in my walk, i saw a guy yelling "hold that bus," which didn't end up happening so he was yelling the F-word loudly as he realized he missed it, right as he walked by me. i generally don't cuss, and i said "blessings" as he passed, to send him blessings and to cancel out the words he was yelling.

i walked all over buffalo. as i was returning home, maybe five miles later, i saw the same guy again. he asked me for money...or food. well, as it turned out, i had JUST recieved 13 free bagels that the bakery was about to throw out.

he was pleased to get two bagels.

"god bless you," he said. "god bless you"

the blessings worked!

so this christmas, i have time.

time to share talents, time to spend with people.

i'm interested in helping people out. and i was thinking that maybe this could make the season of giving more personal.

here are some of my talents i can share:
relaxing
house cleaning/cleansing (i am especially good at doing deep cleaning involved with moving)
reiki
picking up trash
taking care of children
spreading peace
arts & crafts
cooking (vegetarian) meals for groups of people (especially brunch)


here's my wish list:
massage
use of a vacuum cleaner
pot
money (only because of school, which has peace as the greater goal)
peace
guitar or djembe lessons on your guitar or djembe
a beautiful spring day
rides to run errands around town
positive vibes
drum circles
love


let me know when you'd like to get together! actually, let me know of any of the nice things you're doing with people this holiday season! i would love to know.

i have a suede coat that belonged to my grandmother. it's really old and has a lot of character.

i love this coat. every time i go out when i'm wearing it, i give thanks to miss gertie or bessie or whatever her name was that gave her life to keep me warm.

animals are definitely made for weathering the strong winds and intense cold. i am grateful that i have this wonderful coat to keep me warm in the winter. wearing an animal helps to keep me connected to how life used to be.

today i went to look at a room near ub, which would be very inexpensive. the lady was nice enough, but i know she wouldn't be able to handle living with me. i always seem to push people out of their comfort zones, even if it's just with my energy. i know i will find a better place to live. thank you, universe!

on the way home, i walked in to the wind for 15 minutes and then waited for the kenmore bus for another 30 minutes. it was super cold. i was waiting behind a building where i could see if the bus was coming from a ways away. when it finally came, the bus driver was driving really fast and even though i was furiously waving AND i had an orange shirt covering my head, he didn't see me until the last minute. i ended up feeling pretty negative about the nfta. that was really not cool, especially because the kenmore bus only runs once per hour. i ended up taking the subway and then the delavan bus instead.

i had scored a vacuum cleaner, too, walking all that way with it and stashing it outside mcdonalds so i could go grocery shopping at tops. i had been thinking how much i needed a vacuum, and i thought it wonderful that the universe provided one for my use.

but i am thankful that i choose not to walk over to the subway with it. that was the most intense wind and cold i have felt for years and it was difficult walking there.

now it has calmed down a lot and the sun is out. this feels much better.

oh goodness.

my roommates decided to get trashed last night. weird. i'm not used to being around sloppy drunk people anymore, so i sought out quiet most of the time and joined in the party only sometimes.

i had been expecting to go to the himalayan institute for their holiday party, which included meditation, music, and wrapping gifts for kids with aids. i've never been invited to a meditation party before, and i was looking forward to finding the community there and relaxing. but instead i ended up getting cramps, so i stayed home. it's pretty strange how things turn out sometimes.

so i'm living in a one bedroom apartment with three other people (one if them is a newborn, so she doesn't really count). last night my roommate's sister sabrina was over too. sabrina used to work as a dancer and was being overly sexual with my roommate phil, who was pretty uncomfortable about it. (sabrina did write him a note appologizing this morning.)

i always happened to be out of the room whenever any of the drama took place, which was fine with me. somehow, i manged to turn my sexual energy off about six months ago and it's pretty liberating. it's really easy to get distracted with sexual thoughts and that really hasn't been where i am at all.

despite all the beer lat night and hung over peole today, it was mostly all good fun. and even though our place is a bit crowded at times, i really like living with people.

i love how each snowflake glistens in the light.

so peaceful.

this is what winter is about.

peace.

today i got to hang out with hannah michele, who has officially been here on earth for 16 days. she weighs just 6 pounds and she's so tiny, a little-itty-bitty human.

this evening, for the first time ever, she lifted her head up and held it there for quite a while. she was lying on my belly at the time, and we were in a darkish room together. when she learned that she could lift her head, she practiced again and again. you could tell she was working hard because she had found new strength and she was ready to develop it. she ended up doing it a number of times and i could see her advancing and getting stronger.

blessings!

this was such a special moment to share with my new neice. it was the first time she'd been awake and alert for so long, other than at a time when she was eating.

it is so amazing to see her learn so much. and to learn so much with her.

babies are glorious miracles. thank you, lord.

i had my interview at ub today. even though i am not used to doing this formal type of thing, it went wonderfully.

there were three people there interviewing me, which could be a little daunting, but i was pretty relaxed, especially after answering the first question "why do you want to be a nurse?", i saw that "stern lady" rated my answer 4-5, on a scale of zero to five (five being best). yes, it was weird that she wrote that down right in front of me. i didn't look at her sheet any more because if the numbers went down, it would have been a little stressful.

but i found that i had really good answers for those tougher questions, like "why should we pick you as a candidate for this program?" i said that i have had many different experiences and have lived outside of my comfort zone for extended periods of time, which would enable me to deal with anything that comes my way..., etc, and then i added, "and i'm a really caring person" with a big smile. it was cool to see that when i talked a bit of my experiences, my essay had made an impact on at least one of the interviewers, she obviously had remembered reading about the things i mentioned.

oh, the toughie was, "how is being in this intensive type of program going to change your lifestyle?" gulp. i flat out said that it would change everything about it. i am used to going wherever i want to go and doing whatever type of peace-keeping work i find, and this would severly change everything. but i was honsest, although i had chosen different words from these, and i think they appreciated that.

when i was leaving, i heard "grandmotherly type" exclaim something to the effect of "wow." that felt really good.

one silly (i guess) thing that i did was that i asked them, "why should i choose UB?" they all kind of chucked, so i came up with a quick follow-up: "tell me about the best things in your program" or something to that effect. i gave myself a pat on the back for a quick response to a slightly awkward moment.

i was pleased that i was able to be open with the interviewers and not intimidated by them at all.