i feel so much better after going on to estrip this morning.

i don't think this is all coincidence:

ajay posts about benfits of sex
the sugar gliders have sex forever

paul posts about the sugar gliders
mrdeadlier dreams about the sugar gliders

lilho makes a comment about the circus
at the time she was writing her journal, i literally was wondering how i could join a circus.


i'm sure there are many more connections, but these three obvious ones jumped out at me first thing this morning.

i had a really tough sleepless night, thinking way too much. now i wake up to good news: we are one.

much love to all and many blessings!

earlier today, when i first saw my stepmother, ellen, i realized that if i were going to stay in a good headspace, i needed to put up a force field to protect myself. i have rarely seen anyone so irritable.

after a few hours, things were better, and i let my shield down a little.

but i should have known how bad dinner was going to be when ellen said something about the liberal media. i said i didn't want to talk about politics, but wanted to know if she really believed that the media was liberal. she explained that the wilmington newspaper was owned by the new york times, and that yes, she considered it liberal. when i asked if she thought that most media was liberal, she said a big fat YES. my jaw literally dropped, and i said i had never met anyone who thought that way. she said i must lead a really sheltered life. (yes, in fact, i DO, if you consider that i choose to surround myself with like-minded people.)

so, then, later at dinner, things got much worse. i happened to mention that i was having a hard time with the university of north carolina application (for nursing school) because it was made for people who live in the box.

ellen got really angry and decided to explain to me that nursing is a career that is in the box. she made it sound like you are just an unthinking slave to whatever the doctors say. i tried to talk a little, explaining that my cousin, who is a nurse, had told me that i would be allowed to discuss nutrition and exercise with patients, justs that i wouldn't be allowed to recommend any herbs or advise anyone to get off the medications they are currently taking. ellen, who has been a jaded nurse for a great number of years, expalined that nurses really are not allowed to do anything. i gave up trying to talk, as i was on the verge of tears and i didn't want to say anything. i just got super quiet and was unable to try to defend myself at all for the rest of the meal. ellen continued on her diatribe and tried as hard as she could to tell me all the negatives associated with being a nurse.

i am really sorry for ellen that she chose to manifest such a horrible reality for herself. i have chosen a different reality for myself, one filled with joy and love. and i don't doubt that i will find even more joy and love as a nurse.

i think sometimes people just can't stand seeing others happy. i really have a hard time dealing with those people who try to bring others down. i feel so shitty right now, and i am upset with myself for letting her her bring me down so much.

ugh! applications are such an absolute horrible pain in the butt. i don't know how to answer these questions. i think they assume that everyone lives in some neat, tidy, fucking babylonian box.

describe your activities since graduation.

i have 1000 characters, not words, but characters for this one. where do i start? do i have to include that boring 4 years of work i did in boston?

here's my favorite:
list in chronological order, to date of this application, all places you have spent at least 4 consecutive days during the past two years. your response must include your current address, all other places lived, and vacations. attach separate sheet if necessary.

for this, i am allowed three spaces!! i think it would be hysterically funny if i really did fully answer this question like they asked it. i would have to attach multiple sheets of paper. let's see, if 2 years=700+ days, then i estimate that i probably could list about 50 places. and i'm proud of it, but i feel that the school would not really understand that i am a traveller, and that that is a good thing!

Some top places to list:
national forest, colorado
OTB (Off-track betting) parking lot, St. Bernard's parish, Louisiana
Ashram
Closet of PMT's house
1991 Toyota Corolla

do you think the school would like these? at least they would know that i'm not super-boring, right?

---

on other news, i am in north carolina now. i am constantly seeing bumper stickers like:

I heart hooters!

I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney...than ride with Ted Kennedy

But i finally found that north carolina does have some hippies!! yay! i went to a drum circle and fire spinning event last night and luckily met some like-minded people.

my dad thinks it's a big deal that i don't shave. this is such a non-issue for me now. and i have made a point to be super clean here: i'm wearing deodorant (no more "that oda smell"), i'm putting up my hair every day to hide that one dreadie that decided to pop up, and (i think) i'm acting pretty normal.

i really miss having good friends. <sigh> i don't know how long i'll be here.

hi buffalo. i was in the city for a bit sunday-monday, and i wish to send everyone a lot of peace. i couldn't believe the destruction all around, especially the poor trees. how sad.

it was good to see everyone working together to get things cleaned up, though. go buffalo!

my one complaint was that yesterday morning, i went by the co-op house at elmwood and north and i noticed that the tree debris was still on their lawn. after spending many hours at the bus stop outside the house, i know that many people talk about the residents of the house, as that house is one of the few places in buffalo that has visible hippies. i sincerely hope that they have already cleaned up their yard. i don't want people to talk negatively about them (and make all of us hippies look lazy!).

peace and love to all!

The Jamestown Post-Journal has a section where they highlight the top news stories from 10, 25, 50, and 100 years ago.

Here are the top stories from 100 years ago (boldface added by me):

In 1906, Jamestown Mayor James L Weeks was home from a trip to Mississippi. He said Mississippi was a desolate country, an unhealthy country and the last place on earth in which he would care to live. There was a monotony about the silent forests, the sluggish pestilence-breeding ponds and the dreary stretches of swampland that did not appeal very forcibly to the mayor and his party. All were glad to leave. He was accompanied by William Townsend of Kennedy and C A Breed of Jamestown.

just imagine if anyone, let alone a MAYOR, said that now!!!

The other top story from 1906 shows how much was happening in Jamestown back in the day:

Mrs. W D Shedd and Miss Shedd of West Third Street entertained at cards yesterday afternoon. Euchre and bridge games were played. The winners at euchre were Mrs. Ralph C Sheldon and Mrs. Sara Logan Lyman. The bridge winners were Mrs. Edward F Jones and Mrs Anna Sheldon Bootey.

what a bummer! we got *no* snow down here in chautauqua county. none. not even a frost. all the marigolds are still gold.

i was all excited to hear it was going to snow, especially because i'm headed to north carolina on monday, so i could escape from it. i'm looking forward to the weather being in the high 70's. yipee!

i have enjoyed looking at everyone else's pics showing the pretty snow. enjoy your snow day, peeps!

it was such a beautiful day!

i live in the country in chautauqua county. i went for a long walk and hung out at chautauqua lake, reading The Shipping News. a very good book.

yesterday, we went to visit Carl, who is a farmer and expert construction builder. he has 40 goats, who he milks every day, and gets 5 gallons of milk a day. that seems like a lot of goats for that much milk to me. but i have never seen happier goats than his. they came right up to us when we walked in, and it was obvious that they really love Carl. each one has a name and he talks to them all. it was beautiful to see how happy they were. i really love goats.

oh goodness. i just accidentally found myself on a date with some guy that i would never go on a date with. i really had no idea that's what we were doing. his name? started with a "j", had 5 letters.
he enjoyed talking about how he liked my butt; i enjoyed meditating and discussing yoga.
1:10, 1:12; i missed fairy time. got to get out of here. why is he hitting on me?
at least i had the thought the other day that i'd like to see what dating is like. glad i got that over with quickly.