Well it happened, I finally got sick. Its been over a year since I had som much as a sniffle. Sunday was such a beautiful day so I decided to open some windows and get some fresh air in. Well, i fuckin forgot to close my bedroom window before I went to sleep and woke up shivering with out any blankets covering me. Now I have a scratchy throat, some body aches and a stuffy nose(which may be my allergies that I usually ignore). Now i'm confined to the home so I can repair as quick as possible.

I've beeb thinking quite a bit about my favorite superhero, Superman and how his alter ego is Clark Kent as opposed to all other superheroes who's alter egos are the superhero. In other words Spiderman like all superheroes puts on a costume to transform from Peter Parker to Spiderman while Superman puts on a costume to become Clark Kent. Everyday when Peter Parker wakes up in the mornig he is just Peter Parker but when Superman wakes he's Superman. Superman touched down on earth wrapped in the S which over time became his cape. But more importantly, as Superman tries to blend into the human race he becomes Clark Kent, which is his perception of the human race. In his eyes we are weak, sick, lazy escapists and in general insecure bumbling idiots.

Some times I question how can I gain more control over my life. Then I realize I am in complete control of my life. I control what goes in and when, what comes out and why; the things I do; the things I say. I am a product of my decisions and if their is something I don't like I change it. SO why is it when I have some herb I can't control myself and smoke everynow and again or when I have a free day why do I always go way over board. Lastly, why can't I remember to shut the fuckin window so I don't get sick and weak or file unemployment on Sunday???

I haven't had one constant stream of thoughts in many, many months, maybe years. When I started working at the Casino I lost the time for mind quieting exercises because I was working like 80 hours a week. I know I should pick it up again and that I should be more focussed in school but I don't bother. It seems to me like I'm out of control again but I'm the one flying this bird. Why am I getting so lazy??? Why do I make so many excuses that completely set me up for failure???

I guess the need to find my kryptonite and get rid of it for good. In the meantime enjoy this acappela version of the Superman theme... I used to be in a fifteen part all male acappella ensemble like Boys2Men that I started in high school...I'll get into that l8ter.

I really do love you all, MrDT