i just love summer. parties going deep into the nite on friends porches, underneath street lites, inbetween the glow of citronella candles illuminating the rings of sweat on tables from big red cups. of day long, weekend long sojourns to the beach watching children skip with glee along the oceans edge, wagons of balls, frisbees, wiffle bats, umbrellas, coolers and beach chairs being pulled through the sand, while that prime piece of time eroded is picked in earnest. sometimes staying o'er nite on the sands, waking up to the crash of the surf, the hand full of surfers paddling out on the green waters. other times the day ending, shuffling down streets among the bungalows in flip flops and sandals the soft aroma of coconut tanning lotion, sun baked skin and sea breeze in hair. these nite's falling across the din of revelers on these said porches, retiring to rooms, where windows welcome the nite's breeze dancing dancing with curtains waving silent o'er naked bodies warm from the day's sun. long car rides through winding country roads passing fruit and vegetable stands that are guarded by lonely tractors, sitting rusted, mute in tall sun bleached grasses. destinations reached, stretching legs and arms, giving gifts of wine, beer, casseroles, dips, being ushered into backyard, patios where mouths oiled with drinks of considerable influence talk of work, gossip, big important purchases, friends and acquaintances not in attendance. the smell of charcoal burning and the sizzle of hot dogs, chicken, sausages, burgers, clams.

Well the calls are rolling in now. people wantin me to come interview. yeah bitches i knew it would happen soon. timing couldn't have been better. a new job to start the summer with, hopefully a lot of cash in my pocket to have fun with. delicious. talked to haikuster yesterday, well texted actually. it was good hearing from her. talked about our 4th of july plans. she will be watching the firecrackers over the pacific, and i will be watching them over the atlantic. my head is all over the place, as you can probably guess from the past few entries. my girlfirend and i broke up. it sucks, especially because i am going to run into her most of the time when i am in LOng Beach. its not a big place, and everyone knows everyone and their business. but hopefully if i get this job in manhattan, i will be able to spend more time in the city. its an IT Recruiter position. something i know nothing about, but i have an advantage, the woman who did my interview is from Rochester, and she saw that i went to school there at St John Fisher, and the guy i am meeting with next wednesday went to school in good ole B-Lo. People who went to school upstate just love meeting other people from upstate. it really is a sort of magical place. hahaha.

never really thought the depth of "Keep your eyes on the road" until just now,
listening to Bob seger, and washing the the salt down with some of the silver bullet. i actually had looked away from the road, the place that has been like a blanket, while i have not traveled it the way i want in any stretch of the imagination, the idea of it is comforting. its calling me. as we approach our birthday as a nation, we are a people of the road, a nation of car fanatics, fast food junkies, thrill seekers. no old world stuffiness here. fuck that shit. move move move move m-o-v-e speed. a nation of nomads we used to be. its capitalism, its materialism that mucks our feet to the continent in our own little slice of heaven. we've given up bankruptcy protection, something that used to be a hallmark of our nation. you fuck up, you can start over. well the greedy men who rule the world, no one has taken the win outta their sails dave. you listen you will understand

how much for a pound of flesh
the vendors did ask
how much for a pound of your heart
your lover did ask

you know you smile when you sleep?
rolling over, waking up, before you
every morn,
seeing your face, your lips, your smile
hearing your breath when you would roll
over onto my chest
your breast pressed against mine
wet from the shower in you robe, soft
against your cool clean skin
thanking the winds, the sun, the waters
thanking god for bringing you and
i together
walking to work,
happy in the morning,
knowing everything was alright
you were inside of me,
i was inside of you
the little boy in me
the little girl in you
laughter, loving
im going to miss your nitetime smiles
im going to miss your kisses
the little squeak you make when i squeeze you tight
th laught that follows
hearing you complain about what to wear
while i watch the weather
the way you would turn you head
while we danced
i, knowing everyone watching,green
wishing they had what we had
seeing your eyes,
loving your eyes, your smile
god your smile.

told my boss the other day to fuck off. yep, it was great, well not really considering now i am scrambling for a job. it did feel good, but the initial rush wore off at happy hour. it was a job that was going now where to begin with, but i was trying to get interviews so i was not left flat. the only interviews i managed to get were lousy marketing schemes. not jobs, but schemes. pyramid type mothership shit. yeah i really don't think that stuff should be put in the classifieds. its really a bummer to job searchers all over. you send out your resume, accompanied most times with a gut wrenching cover letter, and you get to the interview and the guy does not even have the damn resume on the table, just wants to talk about the GREAT opportunity before me where i can make thousands of dollars, if and only if i bring on 10 other "sales reps" He presents his "success story" smelling of drakkar, brute, or polo and cigarettes. Always has a big raspy your friend in a bar voice, and warm sweaty hands. Handing you a business card for Smith Inc. International TelecomEnterprises.

the only thing to fear?
someone once said was itself.
believe in what you, yourself
know as truth in the seed of your
soul

do not deny the flesh,
it is flush with the emotions of
the heart
breathing in the passion of the sun
high in summer's skies
licking cool dew of nite times
lovers.

confidence in future miracles
only if roots take hold in these dunes
the ocean and the winds conspire against me

May day has come and gone. I always liked the first day of this month. it means only 4 more days until my birthday. good ole cinco de maio or is the de a di? 05/05/05. not too often that happens. pretty cool huh. well i feel as if i am selling my self out. I have an interview on tuesday, and well i already have a gut feeling that it is not going to be a job that i would want to be doing. I have been applying for sales positions. something i detest. Now i am not saying that it is a horrible job for everyone. some people are really really good at it. it is something that i am not good at. but i have come to the end of my rope working for this tyrannt of a man who is my boss. ah but summer is on the way, said it would be here in 15 min to a half hour. haha. thursday, my birthday i am going to spend the day in the village wandering around, hitting up a few places for drinks, browsing the strand, the best book store ever, and then head back to long beach for some live music. it should be a smashing day. my enteries really need some work. it doesn't feel like i am putting my best foot forward. well i am going to read and go to bed. early day tomorrow. i need to get out of here for a while.

False alarm from haikuster last week thursday. Really got me looking forward to the weekend. I was wondering if the santa ana winds had loosened their grip on the one with gypsy dreams. turning 29 in a week or so. cinco di maio. spelling could be off. its always a fun day, celebrating my birthday with a whole bar full of people. the festivities start in long beach around 2 in the afternoon. I wouldnt mind just spending a day wandering around the city by myself and then in the late afternoon, evening, cranking it up a bit. reading a moveable feast and really enjoying it. watched the first mass given by benedict the 16th sunday morning. pulled an all nighter. hahaha. it was actually quite impressive. the tradition, the throngs of people gathered to see the leader of their church perform his first mass. and then after reading he prayed to god that he should not be picked. i wouldnt say that this whole pope go round has made me more religious but it could have. it has sparked an interest in the bible really. i was given a book of poems by this guy who actually did a reading at temple beth zion. my aunt bought me the book, and it is called practical gods. the name of the poet escapes me at th moment. but it is a great book. the guy wanted to write poetry using myths, biblical references, and gods and goddesses of ancient times. Its a wonderful idea. something i would love to do. a lot of dylans music has biblical references in it. anyways. it the whole drama of the pope has made me want to look at how people can be better, or something of the sort. im done for now. looking for a new job

Ah yes lovely lovely spring has finally arrived! it makes winter worth the dreary last months of the ordeal. the first few months of the cold season are tolerable, actually a welcome transition from the heat of summer through the crisp breezes of fall. Spring here on Long Island seems to just show up one day and decide to stay. its like a friend who you have not seen in what seems like years just shows up at your door and stays for a while, no restrictions set by schedule or any other annoyance. And it stays until the springtime sun wakes up one morning and come noon, well you have the intense sun of summer. this season wakes the toes and fingers of the soul, shaking free the frost that settles in late januaru and februaury and solidifies into a deep ennui, a complete hopeless feeling with the relentlessness of the slush on sidewalks, and winds with cerrated teeth. The bodies senses wake up and a certain wanderlust takes over. You can smell it in the air, see it in the eyes, feel it in a touch. woke up yesterday and watched motorcycle diaries. Great movie. really enjoyed it. then got a text haiku from Haikuster and had the urge to drive out cross the big land to the other coast. tap my toes on the carpet of gold that rolls out into the pacific. it was a sad day when the pope died. not being catholic i still think the pope was a good man, though there are a lot of things that he stood for that i don't agree with. I believe he was good because he had hope for the human race, and for the goodness he feels is inate in us. I have been reading a book called the Faber Book of America, and i recomend it to all who may peruse this page. It is not a blow hard, chest beating self affirmantion of our capitalistic superiority, or morass (which ever way you may look at it. i feel you can look at it as the same, our superiority in material goods makes us the man who built his house on sand) the book is filled with eassays by the famous and those not so famous. Foreigners and our own citizens. It is seperated into "chapters" that are a very interesting way of dividing our national personality. Hopefully soon i will have the internet back in my apt, and i will be writing a lot again. i don't quite feel myself when i am not writing, as Haikuster knows, i have even been slacking in my responsibility in my haiku sending sorry!!!! i feel as if i have changed, that i have lost something, a friend when i am not writing. well anyways enough of that blabber. i will talk to you all again soon