"Mantra of the day" written by Carolinian on estrip.org

Category: life

09/30/07 10:56 - 59ºF - ID#41417

Mantra of the day

I will not get angry when others say my ideas aren't good; instead, I will take it as them daring me to show the world there's a better way.

I need to keep telling myself that.

Permalink: Mantra_of_the_day.html
Words: 36
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: life

09/28/07 03:35 - 67ºF - ID#41383

Moving Blues

I guess I feel a little better about leaving Elmwood and moving to N. Buffalo now that other people are doing it.

Permalink: Moving_Blues.html
Words: 35
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: religion

09/23/07 07:00 - 74ºF - ID#41273

Post Yom Kippur update

Had a decent Yom Kippur, at least as decent as you can have for a day where you're supposed to be remorseful for all of the bad things you've done. For me my remorse was largely remorse for all of the tremendous anger I felt about my past relationship with the ex (and her mother) back in NC. Need to move on, as folks in the current relationship are counting on me and I shouldn't dwell in the past.

Wish I could have attended the blogtoberfest...it just had to be scheduled on Yom Kippur...aargh! Was it actually devoted just to bloggers, or was it a general octoberfest? For some reason I'd never imagine that there were that many enthusiastic Buffalo bloggers outside of (e:strip). I'd like to see Central Terminal sometime before there's some huge bat guano problem and they have to knock it down to prevent an epidemic. I wonder if they give tours...

Today at an estate sale (e:inscrutable) and I got a chest of drawers for $40 for our move to the new apartment. It's kinda moldy and the drawers don't open because the humidity of the basement made them swell shut. I'm really more worried about the mold, as the thought of the mold spreading throughout the house and making my existing respiratory situation (already exacerbated by (e:inscrutable)'s cat zeke and (e:ktmuffin)) gives me the willies. I need to find a can of "mold nuke" (if it exists) and apply liberally to said dresser. The dresser does have substantially dovetail joints and looks circa 40's-50's, so I'm hoping it turns out to be a good deal. It's going to be a pain in the butt to move it from the storage warehouse we're storing it in to the apartment, but hopefully we'll round up some of (e:inscrutable)'s friends to help us.

Oh, yeah, I'm moving from Elmwood Village to north buffalo on Sanders St. I'll probably writing more about this event in a future journal entry.

Permalink: Post_Yom_Kippur_update.html
Words: 337
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: religion

09/20/07 07:07 - 76ºF - ID#41219

Who shall live and who shall die

With the coming of Yom Kippur, there's the inevitable thoughts of death. There is the thought of death in the future (will I make sufficient amends for g-d to inscribe me in the book of life for another year) as well as thoughts of those around you who have died in the past.

Buffalo, I've noticed, is also a city of death. I see so much around me that was once beautiful and grand being subject to endless decay and destruction. I thought I had seen it all until I saw Beth Jacob cemetery, an abandoned Jewish cemetery in eastern Buffalo that is pretty much as destroyed and desecrated as a place in Buffalo can be. Until I had seen Beth Jacob, I've had been able to somehow stomach much of the blight in the city, but seeing blight on this level was the ultimate outrage.

In spite of my feelings that this situation with the Beth Jacob cememtery has got to change, the one thing that sets this place apart from all of the other decaying places in this city is that it's the only place where I have found decay and growth, death and life, in equillibrium. The area has so devolved that nature has taken over, and the decaying headstones are covered over with vines and surrounded by tall green grass. It's awful, yet quite eerily beautful at the same time; when I went about two weeks ago (with (e:inscrutable)) we saw deer in resting out in the open, as if to stake nature's own claim on the area.

"The Gates of Repentance are always Open"

The Deer we saw

The rest

Permalink: Who_shall_live_and_who_shall_die.html
Words: 316
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: birthday

09/20/07 09:11 - 64ºF - ID#41209

Happy Birthday

Happy b-day, spud girl (aka (e:lizabeth)).

Permalink: Happy_Birthday.html
Words: 7
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: religion

09/14/07 02:43 - 58ºF - ID#41089

Cycles

Today, I spent the first day in the year of our lord 5768 reflecting long and hard about the person I want to be. The gates of repentance have been opened with the blast of a horn, and it is up to me whether I will be inscribed in the Book of Life for another year, or whether I will part from the life I want to lead ten days from now.

There's so much that I'd like to write right now, but I don't have the time tonight. However I think that my posts for the next nine Days Of Awe will be a little more deeper than usual, especially considering the challenges and life-changing events in the coming year.

Permalink: Cycles.html
Words: 120
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: life

09/07/07 10:55 - 84ºF - ID#40986

Labor Day Summary

(reposting because I can't find out how to delete comments)

Labor Day Weekend Summary

Introduced (e:inscrutable) to the parents, and the four of us had yet another great buffet experience at the India Gate.

Found a nice apartment in Northern Buffalo near Sanders @ Colvin where (e:inscrutable) and I can live together and merge households.

Went to Toronto to see relatives I had not seen in seven years, the last time being at my grandfather's funeral. Nice to see them again in happier circumstances. As my orthodox relatives tend to have lots of kids, I wasn't surprised to find that I had another six 2nd cousins who I never knew existed. And they're all cute, of course.

Experienced the unbearably sad reality that my parents are getting older. Seeing the people who I relied on to protect me and be strong for me requiring my protection and strength was an extremely emotional experience for me. I also started realizing the burden on me to be the strong and protective one in my existing and future family relationships. I see a lot more gym visits in my future.

Got to see Toronto and eat lots of yummy Indian and Thai food. Remembered that I'd actually have pictures of said food if I wasn't dork enough to forget my digital camera. I also saw the Great Wall of China

. That's Canadian humor for you.

Got a whole bunch of CD's of Candian artists I've heard across the water on 102.1 The Edge. I've found it surprisingly hard to find Bedouin Soundclash, Ill Scarlett, D.J. Champion, and Billy Talent in Buffalo stores, so I kind of went hog-wild the moment I stepped into HMV.

Got the non-blocking, multi-threaded querying feature of my Postg reSQL Coc oa framework in the initial stages of working, which should help reduce users' perception of latency in applications using the framework. In plain english, I spent some time on my laptop computer doing programming stuff and accomplished something important.

Got pizza scissors. For cutting pizza. I'll add a picture when I have time.

lizabeth writes at 06:15:19 09/11/07 - Comment #24273: How soon are you moving? Don't forget to give me your new address when you do!

Are you going to be in B'lo for T-giving?

Also - I know what you mean about the parents-getting-older thing. It is an unsettling experience.

tinypliny writes at 06:45:25 09/07/07 - Comment #24052: :::link:::

(From a search without the quotes)

jim writes at 04:34:02 09/07/07 - Comment #24046: I am all of the ten first results for Jim Lindley, but I don't go by James so unfortunately nothing to be found on that search.

tinypliny writes at 04:20:28 09/07/07 - Comment #24045: Yeah, this reeks of an (e:james) conspiracy...

tinypliny writes at 04:18:51 09/07/07 - Comment #24044: This bloke mysteriously trumps you from beyond the grave at No.2. James Lindley (1681-1726)

And he is not even named Jim.

jim writes at 11:38:49 09/07/07 - Comment #24030: Yeah - that's a tough issue. Paul and I were talking about it the other day, and the tack we take is to just spew our names all over the internet everywhere, so to find anything bad you'd have to scroll through dozens of pages of innocuous stuff. I'm like 40 out of the top 50 Google results for my first and last name together and I think any embarrassing stuff is lost in the pile :P

carolinian writes at 11:36:00 09/07/07 - Comment #24029: I love and appreciate your comments, (e:jbeatty) 's comments, and everyone else's comments. I'm just paranoid about my real name being Googled, and I don't think there's a way to change my name in one of the comments from I lan to (e:carolinian).

Example, if I'm being considered for a job by a potential employer, I don't want some stupid HR person at the company Googling "I lan Buffalo" and seeing a journal entry where I might say "This co-worker is acting like a real jerk and it's impossible to work with him/her." If I have to worry about this, true self-expression becomes a lot more difficult.

ladycroft writes at 11:09:05 09/07/07 - Comment #24026: why did you want to delete everyone's comments?

Permalink: Labor_Day_Summary.html
Words: 353
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: life

08/30/07 12:09 - 74ºF - ID#40820

Secret Confessions

I told my parents tonight. It wasn't half as bad as I imagined it. It's a huge weight off my chest, and with that past me I can finally concentrate on being productive and preparing for the future again, especially since my parents seem kind of cool about it.

metalpeter writes at 05:36:10 08/31/07 - Comment #23612: You know when you decorate or redo a room you can move a TV into that room or turn on the radio or if it is a hockey game listen to it on line (I'm kidding cause of course you know that, just had to break balls a little bit and in the same jist another bit of humor ). I'm sure if a Huricanes (hockey not college football) game was on you wouldn't miss it. Seriously though glad that you talked to the parents about what you had to talk to them about. Granted I don't know what it is and I don't need to but your parents did. But you getting off your chest may have been more important then them knowing and takes a lot of stress off of you. Hopefully I'll see ya at the party on Saturday and I'm also planing on going to the chicken wing thing to, not sure when but I at least want to see the miss chicken wing contest or what ever that is with hot ladies.

lizabeth writes at 11:21:34 08/30/07 - Comment #23499: I knew it was going to be ok. :) Yayness!

carolinian writes at 10:36:43 08/30/07 - Comment #23491: None taken, (e:libertad). I'm confident in my heterosexuality, enough that I can admit that, yes, I did spend a weekend last year putting up velvet curtains and holdbacks in my bedroom to go for a victorian motif instead of watching the Bills on TV like all the "proper" examples of straight men I've been chastised for not emulating over the years.

libertad writes at 04:52:34 08/30/07 - Comment #23461: ok, please don't take offense to that, it wasn't meant in a malicious way.

libertad writes at 04:51:28 08/30/07 - Comment #23460: omg your gay?

imk2 writes at 08:50:54 08/30/07 - Comment #23432: ohh....i know what it is!!! i know what it is!!!!!

carolinian writes at 08:42:41 08/30/07 - Comment #23431: I'll post about whatever it is three months from now. Until then, I'm supposed to say nothing.

imk2 writes at 06:17:25 08/30/07 - Comment #23428: oh come on!

museumchick writes at 06:06:50 08/30/07 - Comment #23427: I'm glad you were able to talk to your parents about whatever was going on. It's good to have that support.

Take care of yourself:).

mike writes at 12:45:54 08/30/07 - Comment #23424: what did you tell them? pregnant?

theecarey writes at 12:16:02 08/30/07 - Comment #23419: preggers?

paul writes at 12:15:34 08/30/07 - Comment #23418: About what?

Permalink: Secret_Confessions.html
Words: 49
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: life

08/22/07 06:58 - 78ºF - ID#40677

Hot Potato Mashup

Today I have little to write.

I instead reflect on the fact that sometimes there's stuff that you just can't write on the Internet because it's just such a hot potato and personal enough to the point of being inappropriate to share with others.

Time will change this, I'm sure, but it sucks that I have to (justifiably) limit my emotional outlets.