Hey all! Last night was a lot of fun! It was cool to meet some of you at the party...Thanks Again guys! Hope to see you again soon! I wanted to put up a couple pics of my beautiful babies for you to see! Take care and have fun this year!

As you all probably know, the month of February is nationally known as "Black History Month". From an educational standpoint, I have a problem with this calendar tradition for a number of reasons. I remember being in 11th grade and all of our English classes had to write essays on the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Speech: " I have a dream". Instead of writing an analysis of what I thought the speech meant, like most people do, I decided I would write about how I think the month of February should be dedicated to Cultural Diversity rather than "Black History." I wasn't sure how my English teacher would react to my take on the topic, but she was a great teacher and she appreciated my honest thoughts. ( I didn't win the essay contest, but i really didn't care about that anyway.)

Why do we still call it "Black History"???

The term "Black History" itself seems to have racial overtones to it. Or am I dumb? The events that happened in our country that everyone considers "black history", including the entire slave trade and efforts by black people to change that, it is American History. It should be taught the same as all other events in the time line of American history, and of course emphasized as many of the major milestones that shaped the ideology of our country.The efforts of well known black people that fought against racial injustices should be taught just as we teach about well known women who fought for womens rights. Women were allowed to be beaten by their husbands, they had no rights, and they were traded for, $, farm animals and other material possessions. There were injustices among the sexes, the races, and the religions. Americans were an ignorant, inhuman people- TO THEMSELVES just as much as they were to outsiders. But our country has come a long way, and yes I believe that it is important to educate our people, especially our youth, about the events that happened. But I think its more important to put the major emphasis on how far we've come and celebrate the fact that our country as a whole has begun to progress and many of those injustices are not faced on a major level here anymore. And while there are still many ignorant attitudes that endorse racial inequality, I think our generations have been much more tolerant and open-minded than many of those who came before us. That in itself i think is something to celebrate. Also, If you're born in America you are an American, no matter what color you are. If you are white you are an American of European Descent. If you are born in Africa and come to America to live, then you would be considered an African American. I think its important to start teaching these more technical terms to our young in an effort to emphasize the fact that we are Americans of all colors- and among ourselves here in America we should promote Unity rather that continuously pointing out and emphasizing our differences. The notion of "Black History Month" I believe, is keeping the anger of past generations alive and spreading those ideologies to our younger generations. I'm really serious abut this, and I may do some research to find out what the next step to making this change actually happen would be. What do I do, write my congressman or something?

YAY For CULTURAL DIVERSITY!!!!!

I was watching Def Comedy Jam last night and there was an Indian guy on there who cracked a joke about how "brown is the new black" thanks to the recent fear of terrorists. But when he introduced himself he commented about the fact that because he wasn't black or white people couldn't tell what the hell he was. And I really thought about this because you hear latinos joking about how people can't tell whether their Mexican or Peurto Rican. Asians joke about how people can't tell whether or not they're chinese, Japanese, or Korean. People from the middle east are confused for Pakistani, or Indian, or whatever. The list goes on. I think that so much focus put on black vs. white puts the other nationalities that make up this supposed great melting pot of a country in the shadows and its making us very ignorant about the other cultures that we share our country with. Why do we joke about it as if its funny to be stupid? When we hear people from other countries call us "stupid Americans" do we really sit there and make fun of ourselves as well, I mean we should for a minute because it is kind of funny but I don't think we should take initiative to educate ourselves. I think A good way to do that would be to dedicate the month of February to learning about other cultures and their affects on life in America. Live in the present, not the past- looking forward is the only way to progress. Especially right now with all of this tension between other countires and us.

Ok, Im done for now as this is really long and my baby girl is about to wake up... but one more thing...


"Is America Really Ready For A Black President?"

I heard one of the reporters ask this question on tv after the debates and I wanted to throw a shoe at her. As far as American History is concerned, this is HUGE for our country to have 2 minorities competing in the same presidential race... and to have either of them win will be a major victory in their respective minority category. But in the grand scheme of things, with the current state our country is in, to ourselves and world wide, I think hearing her ask that question seemed so dumb to me. I think Obama presents himself as an educated man, he speaks with knowledge and intelligence, and regardless of whether or not America is "ready for a black president" we certainly need those qualities in a leader. ( I don't know about you but I think Bush's inaccuracies, redundancies, and his lack of ability to speak the English language make us look really dumb to have him as our national representative. )

my new niece McKenna Eleanore was born 1/14.... shes adorable!!!! I love our new apartment- though I woiuldnt feel so dumb if we had remembered to switch the electric into our names when we moved in- they shut it off... How the hell do they keep an account billed to no one on for 8 months? Thank God my guy was home from work the day they shut it off! I don't know when I'll ever get my computer fixed and up n running. I miss having the internet. I miss a lot of things, like Spring and the car I never had...(yet). I don't miss a lot of things, and since I don't miss them I probably shouldn't even bother to mention what they might be. But I will say that sometimes you don't even really realize how much you DON'T miss something untill you drown yourself in misery missing that very thing... make sense? I wish it didn't. But some things are fun to miss- so you enjoy them when you have them back. Like Cable television.... time to go watch cartoons!

Hi All! Merry Christmas!!! and what a great time of year this has turned out to be! After all that hectic apartment searching crap we finally found a REALLY nice apartment in Kenmore. It turned out that the realtor who showed us the place knew one of the guys that my guy works with, as he also worked for their realty company. Then the owner of the place also knows another guy from my guys work, so he got two really great references. Its pretty crazy, how much I stress out over shit knowing that the outcome will be better than i could plan myself. I have been shown this time and time again yet I continue to let myself get all insane with worry. I have a great guy that loves me very much, a wonderful baby girl that I am just amazed at watching every single day, and even though there are a few other things that seem to be working against me I know that I should just shut up and let God work Her Magic!
My little niece should be blessing us with her presence any day now. My sister is HUGE with belly and I'm praying that this will happen soon because my sis has been an enormous emotional wreck. On and off of course, but its completely uncontrollable!


well I have to go for now but I wish you all the most blessed Christmas!

my guy and I have to be out of his apartment on the 1st. Some kind of argument transpired between his roommate and the landlord. And because their apartment isn't a place for babies, i have been shuffling between my moms house, my sisters house, and other family members who will allow me to have my daughter there. It's been so stressful and I have reallyu been losing my mind. So we've been trying to find an apartment for the 3 of us but it's very hard because we have credit and reference issues working against us. Yet he has an astounding work history, actually he's been at the same job for 8 years and makes good $$ because of that. . And I have been working from home and caring for my baby girl Hannah for the past year.
I can't help thinking that we may just be better off trying to find another young couple with child or a single mom to share a house or apartment. Ideally it would be a good way to save $$ so work on getting our credit in order and get a car and all that good stuff. I can picture myself and another young mom enjoying each others company and the kids having a live- in playmate would be great, too. Although I can also see some more realistic problems arising from this, any time you bring multiple personalities into a situation there is serious potential for conflict...especially with children involved as many people have different views on parenting.
What do you guys think? Does anyone of any kind of family -oriented communal situations that I could check out? Or maybe there would be someone out there willing to house a young couple and a child for 2-3 weeks in the event of worse case scenerio that the 1st comes and we haven't found an apartment? I guess i'm just trying to explore any options that I haven't thought of yet.

hey everyone! I have a friend Abbey that makes holistic custom jewelery... check out her myspace to view some samples and let her know if you're interested in getting more info! Thanks!!

[link=http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=162922522]

My baby girl will turn 1 year old on Tuesday, Nov 20th!!! We had her first b-day party yesterday and it was a lot of fun! A very good friend of mine that I went to the rainbow gathering with a couple of years ago ( see Spirit Revival- 7/16/04) ran into me 2 summers ago upon his return home to Buffalo. I was 6 months pregnant and having trouble finding a job, so he introduced me to his dad who owned 2 printing/mailing businesses. His dad hired me to do some telemarketing, calling non-profit organizations and asking them if they needed help with their newsletters, appeal letters.. things of that nature. Also stuffing and sealing and stamping thousands of letters at a time!!. It worked out well, and when I was put on bed rest in the beginning of last November he got a computer and a phone for me to set up my office at home. ( which has been a huge blessing so I didn't have to pay for child care for my newborn. Because of that I have had the most gracious opportunity to be with my child and watch her grow. I can't describe how amazing this has been- those of you with with children probably already know. ( I had never envisioned myself as a mother of my own children. I figured I would adopt some child that had already been dealt a shitty hand on this planet and fix it for them. but even at that I was pretty annoyed by infants- i hated those ppl that take babies to movie theaters, when my friends baby would wake me up in the middle of the night i would wish in my head that someone would just shut that thing up! Up until Hannah I had never even held an infant. I was great with kids ages 3 and up- but NO experience with babies. watching her over this last year has been a whole new side of life for me-( by the time I was 23 I had 8 people who were very close to me pass away.starting at 12 years old 5 of them had been close freinds my own age at the times of their deaths. 3 of my natural grandparents are still living today- and 1 of them died before I was even born.) so having this little love has been so refreshing!!! Take into consideration that she really is a total angel! SHe has her moments, and when she was very young she went through a 2 week period of total colic, but so many people keep telling me they've never seen a baby as easy as her- and that I have no idea how blessed I am. ( now I can't even pass a baby in a grocery store without thinking " oh the precious little baby"!!!) So I also have been blessed with so many people that love and care about us! My friends parents have been a great part of that blessing over this last year. They have pretty much adopted us into their wonderful family, and my heart was overwhelmingly thankful when they decided they'd like to have this birthday party to share with us the celebration of her 1st year. My mother has also been a huge blessing in this past year- as we have bonded in a way that we haven't been able to in a very long time. It's truly amazing the side of ourselves that we meet when we have our own children. Watching them grow is truly a miracle- new sounds, new faces, first teeth, big smiles ( and tears that just break your heart into pieces!!!)
Thank you for letting me share this all with you! Hopefully I will have the pictures posted up here soon!

yeah, so i missed my shift and quit my job after working for you for 3 weeks..... this is what i get for calling to apologize and ask for a second chance???? I was warned that you were a fucking pervert...yet she said "don't worry, you're not his type" well J, looks like he has no type.
"id like to discuss this with you in person,get to know you a little better..... why don't you call me.... I'll pick you up and bring you back to my place.....I'd like to see what you'd be willing to do to get your job back...... i'd just like to know that whatever we work out doesn't get back to the other girls......"

It makes me fucking sick! Old fat mid-life crisis scumbags see a young single mother like me and think we must be hard up for means of survival. And what makes it even worse is that some women are actually willing to succumb to these pathetic antics and thats why sick bastards like you continue to get away with these behaviors.
Look at me..... I'm a pretty girl. If I were the type of girl to suck a dick to keep a job it certainly wouldn't be yours you ugly fuck. Not for a worthless $7 an hour job doing what i did for you!!! No, you wannabe Big Shot. And I feel terribly sorry for any girl who really thinks that little of themselves. I almost feel obligated to expose you to the people of our city and let them know who's pockets they're choosing to put their $$$ in, knowing that I may also be saving the next poor girl who may not have the intelligence and self esteem that I have.
But you sir, are in luck. this is as far as I will go because in my heart i know that my daughter and whatever she needs come 1st.... my pride and my ego will have to take this hit for the team. But I would suggest that you stop being so quick to underestimate those you consider disadvantaged. Dont worry, I wont tell the other girls what happened between you and I.... judging from how casually that shit came out of your mouth I'm sure there are many out there who already know all about you.




IN THE TIMES OF MY DEEPEST TROUBLES, THOSE TIMES THAT i MAY FORGET WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF- WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES SEEM TO LEAVE ME ALMOST DESPERATE.....i WILL REMEMBER THAT GOD IS MY PROVIDER, AND MY EXPERIENCE HAS SHOWN ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT IF I KEEP MY HEART OPEN I WILL BE ABLE TO RECEIVE THE GIFTS THAT COME MY WAY. I NEVER GO WITHOUT ANYTHING I NEED, OR SINCERELY ASK FOR. I HAVE BEEN HOMELESS, YET NEVER UNSHELTERED OR UNPROTECTED. I HAVE BEEN BROKE, YET HAVE NEVER GONE HUNGRY OR UNCLOTHED. I HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE THAN I HAVE MENTIONED-AND YET I HAVE MORE THAN I NEED TO BE HAPPY. ANYTHING I NEED FINDS ITS WAY TO ME, $$$ IN MY POCKET OR NOT. SO THIS HERE OBSTACLE.... THIS TOO IS NOTHING THAT A LITTLE FAITH AND PATIENCE CAN'T HANDLE. ( A LITTLE REALLY DOES GO A LONG WAY WHEN YOU LET IT!!! )
LOVE IS THE LAND THAT I STAND ON.THE WIND MAY BE BLOWING SHARP OBJECTS IN ALL DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS- AND I MAY BE CUT UP AND BLEEDING DUE TO THIS STORM BUT YOU BEST BELIEVE THAT AFTER THE ELEMENTS HAVE SUBSIDED I WILL STILL BE STILL BE STANDING HERE!!!! AND SO IT IS!!!!!!

Dear sir,
I know that you will probably never read this, as i realized at the last minute that you are a blind man... but i wanted to apologize for almost running you down on my bike yesterday. i was 100% sober as i was cruising the strip, on my way to start my new job. I yelled "excuse me", and kept cruising... i saw your wife move out of the way and so i thought that you would too. What I should have done was break right then and there instead of assuming that you would be the one to move for me to pass . But I didn't, and by the time i put on my breaks it was too late, my front wheel was between your legs and your butt was up against my handlebars. Had I still been going you surely would've been knocked to the ground. ( I was reminded of the time i was a child, just learning to ride a bike, and i really did run over my friends grandmother. Maybe thats why this is still on my conscience) When you turned around I saw your walking stick and felt like a total asshole. (Even if you hadn't been blind I still would've felt terrible, but this just put the icing on the cake...) I put my hand on your shoulder and I must have apologized 10 times, and you had a smile on your face as you told me, "don't worry, it's ok." I appreciate that smile, because you could've been a huge jerk to me, But it's not ok, and I really am sorry for my lack of consideration.
From this moment on I promise to be more cautious and considerate while riding my bike.