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springfaerie’s journal

Saying Goodbye to Love and Hate

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Tomorrow, the man that I loved for over ten years is getting married. He's marrying someone who got pregnant accidentally/ on purpose just to get him to stop dragging his feet. She got pregnant and he fell into line, buying the house she'd been wanting and getting her the ring that she'd been not-so-subtly hinting at. I have no doubt in my mind that had she not gotten pregnant, they still would not be engaged. And now, I have to get over my hatred of her and my love for him. I will always love him. My feelings for him are fully incorporated in my brain chemistry, alas. But, I have a great capacity to love and now, as I say goodbye I have no doubt that I will find someone else, a man who loves me as much as I am capable of loving him. The time to move on is now.

I genuinely hope that he and his wife and son will be happy. I send my love and my best to them all tomorrow. I think I've finally, FINALLY managed to let go and for that, I am grateful! :) Now it's my turn to find my love that time will lie down and be still for.
209 words

💬 9 comments

  1. tinypliny ·

    The one who is terminally sick? @springfaerie #54861

  2. springfaerie ·

    No. Not the sick one. Someone else. The someone who I was in love with and tried not to be, if that makes any sense. The sick one and I are friends and I love him dearly. This one, well, he was the one that I measured all others against. Now, I need a new rubric.

  3. ajay ·

    'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all... or something to that effect.

    We all have some past loves that hold on to, and sometimes use to measure the current ones. I say, each love is unique. Cherish what you have.
    As the great sages CSNY sang, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with...".

    Good luck! Keep your heart open, and love will find its way. (wait, that sounds like a jewelry commercial... :-/ )

  4. metalpeter ·

    Yeah it is Think it is called Open Hearts it is from one of the famous people maybe Jane Seymour not sure but it is still good advice....

  5. tinypliny ·

    If you really love something, you can let it go. Banal advice perhaps, but it's 100% true. If you could not, it was probably just some combination of infatuation and some subconscious belief that you could make him even better.

  6. paul ·

    I

  7. paul ·

    Hit save too fast. I meant to say I hope to see you for the Halloween party, bring as many people as you want.

  8. tinypliny ·

    Except Chris. OMG. I hope Cheese =/= Sketchy Chris. You can't bring him then.

  9. lilho ·

    sorry, but he sounds like a jerk and you deserve better.

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