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Category: depressed

04/22/06 01:24 - 56ºF - ID#29388

It's Gonna Be a Sad Day

Alot of my ol' friends from Hard Rock are getting together today to celebrate the marriage of one of the girls I used to work with and hang out with. at one point we were all pretty good friends spending lots of time together working, drinking after work, going on vacations together and making day trips to the park and stuff. Its been brought to my attention that a lot of thought went into inviting me but it was decided by the wedding party that i would only bring the moment down. I guess a lot of people thought I would make everyone uncomfortable because my "ex" and her friends are the wedding party and why ruin a good time? Not to mention the next to last time I saw my ex her new ogar boyfriend that she left me for started pushing me around telling me it wasn't to cool for me to do burnouts on front of his house in the middle of the night. WHat can I say I was extremely emotional and irrational?? My feelings overwhelmed me and I participated in behavior that was reckless and out of character. It was good expirience and I can say that I will never go down that road again.

But anyway as I was saying, this big guy starts pushing me around so I quickly brought one of my elbows up and hit him in the chin. I saw his head snap back and his arms go up but before had achance to recover I slammed him with a spinning elbow, putting all my body weight and momentum into the hardest part of my body. I knocked the son of a bithch out right in front of about 20 friends or so. I guess that's what he gets for fucking with a trained fighter and pssing on my lawn. The guy left his pregnante girlfirend to steal away mine when we were on the rocks. Brilliant strategy like this belongs on Jerry Springer but unfortunately they consider themselves middle class.

BUt anyway, again, I'm sittin here emotionally fucked up for the time being wishing my friends would call me so we could get together again like the good ol' days. before me and the ex broke up we were a tight group but she had to go and ruin that for me too. (I guess its my fault too). I miss working at the Hard Rock and I miss the friendships I developed there. I'm glad when of the two best friendships I made their weren't damaged and I can call my buddy Scotty in NYC anytime along with Greg at the CIA in Hyde Park.

I guess I feel like shit cause of the dream I woke up to. It resembles this situation to a T. only the wedding party was stationed at my cousin Mark's house and I was free to stop by for a bottle of water and see everybody.

Life sucks but I'm compelled to keep on livin it cause you never know what tomorrow will bring. I think that's so exciting about life, wondering where will the tide take you.

Love all, Serve all, MrDT
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Permalink: It_s_Gonna_Be_a_Sad_Day.html
Words: 529
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: 420

04/20/06 12:48 - 57ºF - ID#29387

Happy 4:20

I'm not happy to say that I won't be celebrating 4-20 this year. I quit about two weeks ago and when i tried to find some tonight my guy said he was out. how could you be out - this is a holiday for us?? well maybe thats why he's out.

So in honor of this special day I posted a new user sound. Its the beatles who we can be pretty sure of enjoyed their fair share of 4-20.

Here's a picture of my unit:
(no not that unit)


As you look at the picture and listen to the song I want you to change the lyrics in your head to "while my Bong gently weeps." K?

So anyway now that thats out of the way I have something to get off my chest. I am really tired of dealing with judgemental assholes who don't have any clue who I am or what I'm about. just today, for instance, I was sitting in class and the teacher asked a question, "does anybody know the dart theory that they refer to in the wall street journal." and I thought I had a pretty good idea what it was so I raised my hand and the teacher was like what is it, "well if you send darts to the stock page and pick about twenty five stocks then you should be diversified enough to generate a return typical to the yearly average that the stock market goes up - 12%." he was like no. and some dude across the class just starts laughing and I was like WTF?. what so damn funny atleast I participate and don't sit there like a bump on a log staring at the clock asshole.

I worked out my legs today and they are pretty shot. I had a hard tme walking out of the gym, which means I did it right. I gotta say, though that I hate working out my legs. there's just something about putting 225#'s on my back and trying to sit down with it then stand up with that scares me. I know runners develop hip and knee problems but I wonder what do heave squats do for the lower back, hip and knee joints. it can't be good. or how about strapping 5,6,7,8 45# (360#s) plates to a platform then lowering your knees to your chest for a leg press. what if I crush myself?? I'd have to wheel myself around with out any legs.

The people I work with and go to school with think I'm pretty funny. At some point in my life I learned to stand up for myself and always have a snappy comeback. this one guy last week started to fuck with me and I sent him home nearly crying. I guess when it comes down to it thats all there is to do in a greasy nasty kitchen - tell homoerotic jokes and laugh all night to pass the time. it also releives the stress of constantly being in the weeds and putting up orders.

My motto: fuck'em if they can't take a joke.

I wonder if when the ER gets slammed and triage is buried with more than they can handle are they in the weeds???

Don't forget big brother's always watching.

I love you, MrDT
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Permalink: Happy_4_20.html
Words: 558
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: wtf?

04/18/06 01:43 - 44ºF - ID#29386

Is This Some Sick Joke?

New user sound dedicated to members of (e:strip).

Easters over but for some reason there is candy all over my house. I try not to eat this stuff cause sugar cranks up my insulin levels and forces me to store extra fat. It is sooo good though but I only want to eat it a few times a year.

This is what my Kitchen table looks like:




Thank God for will power cause this is what I'm going to snack on for meal #5:

its 8 oz of fat free cottage cheese and 6 oz of fat free/sugar free blueberry yogurt mixed...delish

And a few of these cause I didn't have any yesterday (I like the red ones the best)


Its kinda funny that ya'll think I'm a fitness nut cause the people who know me the best keep sending me home with this stuff. Like I don't fill my fridge with good food.

Oh yeah, one more thing

Creatine Rules!!! (e:paul) I don't know if you use this stuff yet but I just loaded it last week (4 servings a day) and this week I've added 5-10 pounds on every movement plus added reps. 3 weeks on 1 week off reload. It bloats like a son of a bitch though.

I love you all, even those who ignore me or think I'm out of my gord, MrDT
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Permalink: Is_This_Some_Sick_Joke_.html
Words: 236
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: easter sunday

04/17/06 01:17 - 48ºF - ID#29385

In a Nutshell

Lets try this again -- Just lost my post to the back button on my mouse which should be turned off.

New user sound will accompany post so stop (e:lurking), punch in and play.

SO ANYWAY as I was saying I got up today and headed toward the boarder to join my family for easter. as a tradition my father's family gets together at this hotel on clifton hill and rents the corner suite and a row of rooms alongside a very nice indoor pool/hot tub. we've done it for two decades atleast. I remember waking up and having to search the entire hotel for my easter eggs then having a monster water battle with my cousins. talk about fun...then you we had all that shit on clifton hill to do. it was the highlight of every year jumping in between the pools and at some point somebody turned 19 so we started getting fucked up with drinking games.

But anyway back to my story, this year I had a project to do with my dad's girlfriend, which i mentioned to him but he neglected to pass on. I wanted to take the thousands of pictures from over the years and put them in the photo albums I picked up a year ago. She's all about this and most importantly I didn't want to do this alone! Alot of my picutes are of the absolutely awsome adventures/vacations that my ex-Kim and I used to take. They are a representation of some of the best days/times of my life, we had so much fun and explored so much of this great country. I figured if I had somebody to talk to while going through them the memories wouldn't overwhelm and depress me. need less to say I sat indian style on the bed by myself for a few hours while I sorted and picked the best pictures for my albums. and holy shit am I depressed now. I miss those carefree days but man did I get fat.

I kinda want to go into what happened between Kim and I but I wont cause the last post I didn't (chat got interesting). But let me tell you every woman I meet I compare to her. what a brilliant combination of sense of humor (matched mine to a t), brains and a big ol ass. when we would walk through the hood the black guys would yell, "hey thickness." I miss getting high with you and quoting Billy Madison. I tried this from time to time at work but people look at me like I'm crazy. Well maybe I am but, "its too hot for a penguin to just be walkin' around." I miss you Kim everyday, we really had some good times even if things did get ugly once and a while.

Tonight when I sleep you will be in my dreams and tomorrow when I wake up I'll feel shitty. but thats okay Dan will kick my ass while we do chest & tri's and I'll forget all about it. But do you remember the time we road the tea cups at Disney World and I got the thing spinning really fast and we staggered about for like 20 minutes.

Well anyway thats me in a nutshell. I'm happy I finally got my pictures in an album. if you ask I'll show them to you. unfortunatley Kim is in a lot of them but thats okay. I told you no matter what happens I will love you forever.

That's how my love goes - 24/7 unconditional, MrDT
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Permalink: In_a_Nutshell.html
Words: 598
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: ramblin

04/14/06 03:04 - 50ºF - ID#29384

Its been way too long

Man, I need to get laid.

Love, Mrdt
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Permalink: Its_been_way_too_long.html
Words: 8
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: ridin4roswell

04/13/06 12:53 - ID#29383

Bike Shopping

Please click on the link to the right for new user sound. Proceed

Stopped by Berts Bikes yesterday to look at a few road bikes for the summer and some charity events. (See previous post). They seem really fucking expensive not to mention about 100-150 dollars cheaper online. Maybe I'll buy something used off of ebay cause when you crash on these bikes forget about. they fold like and bend like spoon jewelery. then your out the money. i have my tax refund coming soon and i just got a tuition refund check but this is money I sould invest in futures/ira's/stocks/mutuals or save for a rainy day. my mountain bike makes a fun ride but its slow and made for the extreme trails. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing this event no matter what but its the difference between easy/fast or hard/slow and 30 miles or 60 miles. top speed on the mountain bike is like 15-20mph but I could get the road bike up to 25-35mph which is a huge difference.

Here are the bikes they showed me:

'06 Trek 1500 for $1,100

'06Trek Pilot 1.2 for $950

I am leaning more towards the red one but I don't know it seems like an aweful amount of money to spend for something I'll only use about 20 times a year (till I move to warm weather). My buddy Steve who is considering the ride might not be able to get the day off and he could lone me his Cannondale Hybrid.

I want to clear something up for ya'll. My last post was not asking for pledges. I'll do most of that in school and at former jobs. I was/am looking to put together a team of riders, mechanics, drivers and cheering section for those who are interested. we could do this as a communtiy under the (e:strip) flag or I could do this by myself. either way I'm in and I've already printed the pages for pledges and such.

I believe in truth, beauty, freedom and above all love, MrDT

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Permalink: Bike_Shopping.html
Words: 355
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: charity

04/11/06 02:56 - ID#29382

Ridin' for Roswell

My journals are best read with the accompanying music selection on the right. please click twice before continuing.

I have decided its time for me to give back some of the athletic prowess I have developed over the past year in the form of charity.

I saw this flyer in the gym today for a fund raiser for Roswell Park Cancer Institute and decided this is my chance. What could be better than riding my bike for a cure for cancer???

Ofcourse I'll need to collect the minimum amount of pledges but I'm not sure if I'll ride the 33 miler or 62.5 miler. Over the next 2.5 months I'll be testing my endurance to see what I can handle then the day of I'll decide if I want to push the 62.5 miler. I don't have a road bike yet which would be the biggest spoiler on the 62.5 but I'd do the 33 no prob on my mountain bike.

By the end of the month I want to put together a team and maybe even fly under the (e:strip) flag. We'll need riders, someone to drive, a mechanic or two and some individuals to cheer us on and hand us gatorade. I'm as serious as a heart attack here so any of you who want to participate sould sign up. I'll probably have some friends that will accompany me but as my mama always says, "The more the merrier." and its for such a good cause.

By the end of May I'll have my pledge sheets finished and I'll make a decision of whether to buy a bike or not. I've never really covered this type of distance in this type of fashion so it will be a challenge for me.

Well, I guess that's it for today. you don't have to get back to me right away but if anyone is interested let me know.

With love and peace or else, MrDT
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Permalink: Ridin_for_Roswell.html
Words: 329
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: quotes

04/10/06 02:25 - ID#29381

Words for Contemplation

Just a quick post from finance.

I love quotes... I have set up my Google home page to always give me three new quotes per day.

Here is one of them:
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- CP Snow
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Permalink: Words_for_Contemplation.html
Words: 51
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: writers

04/08/06 03:13 - 34ºF - ID#29380

Words for Living

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we get, the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.
--Henry David Thoreau, "Walden"

Why do things have to be so complicated??? The buddhists believe in nonattachment because our wants & desires will eventually consume us preventing enlightenment. Easy come easy go I always say. Life's dealt me another bad hand -- ow well-- should have expected it. what else can you do but move on and try to be as happy as possible.

Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

--Shakespear, Hamlet

I guess I've learned to self soothe at some point. It feels good. Life is shit but everythings good.

With Love, MrDT
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Permalink: Words_for_Living.html
Words: 549
Location: Grand Island, NY

Category: survey

04/06/06 12:39 - 36ºF - ID#29379

Movie Soundtracks

top 5 music soundtracks of all time:

5. Gone in 60 Seconds
4. Almost Famous
3. Tomb Raider
2. Great Expectations
1. Jailhouse Rock

Alternate: Moulin Rouge (just cause that shit makes me cry).

L8er Love, MrDT
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Permalink: Movie_Soundtracks.html
Words: 31
Location: Grand Island, NY



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