I just wanted to let you all know that my left pinky toe nail is .2253 cm longer than my right pinky toe nail!

Although, switch the words "bite" with "decapitate with a hachet"...

Good thing the Kenmore cops weren't patrolling Wilbur that fatefull night....we'd a been cuffed and stuffed!


PORT JERVIS, N.Y. -- Would you bite the head off a gecko for $10?

Police in Port Jervis, N.Y., said a 19-year-old man did, and now he's behind bars after being charged with animal cruelty.

Officials said Derrick Ford was at a friend's home Sunday when someone bet him $10 that he wouldn't bite the head off a gecko, a small lizard.

Though Ford won the bet, it wasn't long before police showed up and placed him under arrest.


He's being held in the Orange County Jail.






Also, I've started reading some of Oscar Wilde's short stories. I think they're pretty funny; it's interesting to see his view on human nature. Oh, sorry Ajay, should I have checked with Snopes before thinking something is interesting...? My bad. It's not like I said "muy factual". I think it's a little bit nuts to have an "end all, be all" source for anything. Kind of defeats the purpose of free thought, interpretation and opinion, don't you think? I'll post whatever the fuck I want....

In fact, I think I may start posting non-sensical random things just to demonstrate that....

Later!

Just got this in an email. Found it interesting enough to share...

>I just received this, and it certainly is interesting.
>
>
> Many years ago in Seattle, two wonderful neighbors,
> Elliott and Patty Roosevelt came to my home to swim on
> a regular basis. They were a great couple full of
> laughter and stories that today I continue to marvel
> at. Both are now deceased, but their stories remain.
> During the years of our friendship we had many, many
> discussions about his parents (President Franklin D.
> and Eleanor Roosevelt) and how his father and
> mother never intended for the Social Security and
> Welfare programs to turn out the way they are today.
> Elliott used to say that if his mother returned to
> earth and saw what the politicians had done to their
> programs she would have burned all of them in hell.
>
> Here is a story I received today regarding the
> Social Security Program and I immediately thought of
> Elliott's comments. Hope you will read this and
> think about it. (Margaret)
>
> Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the
> Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised:
>
> 1.) That participation in the Program would be
> completely voluntary,
>
> 2.) That the participants would only have to pay
> 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual incomes into
> the Program,
>
> 3.) That the money the participants elected to
> put into the Program would be deductible from their
> income for tax purposes each year,
>
> 4.) That the money the participants put into the
> independent "Trust Fund" rather than into the General
> operating fund, and therefore, would only be used to
> fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no
> other Government program, and,
>
> 5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees
> would never be taxed as income.
>
> Since many of us have paid into FICA for years
> and are now receiving a Social Security check every
> month -- and then finding that we are getting taxed on
> 85% of the money we paid to the Federal government to
> "put away," you may be interested in the following:
>

---

>
> Q: Which Political Party took Social Security
> from the independent "Trust" fund and put it into
> the General fund so that Congress could spend it?
>
> A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically
> controlled House and Senate.
>

---

>
> Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income
> tax deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?
>
> A: The Democratic Party.
>

---

>
> Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social
> Security annuities?
>
> A: The Democratic Party, with Al Gore casting
> the "tie-breaking" deciding vote as President of the
> Senate, while he was Vice President of the U.S.
>

---

> AND MY FAVORITE:
>
> Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving
> annuity payments to immigrants?
>
> A: That's right! Jimmy Carter and the
> Democratic Party. Immigrants moved into this
> country, and at age 65, began to receive Social
> Security payments! The Democratic Party gave these
> payments to them, even though they never paid a dime
> into it!
>

---

>
> Then, after doing all this lying and thieving and
> violation of the original contract (FICA), the
> Democrats turn around and tell you that the
> Republicans want to take your Social Security away!


One thing's for sure - republican or democrat, fuckers are fuckers!

I was first introduced to this horoscope many years ago in the Artvoice (Free Will Astrology), actually. I wonder if they still publish it. Anyway, I thought this was interesting...

Leo Horoscope for this week:
Psychotherapists talk about how each of us has a false self and an authentic self. When we're in the grip of the false one, we don't love ourselves unless other people love us. We're addicted to status and other superficial standards of success, and we chase after all sorts of meaningless desires that can't possibly bring any lasting gratification. When we're anchored in our authentic self, on the other hand, our motivations are rooted in a love of life. We pursue our dreams because they're interesting and exciting, not in order to impress anyone. The coming weeks will bring a showdown between your false self and authentic self, Leo. If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the authentic one.

So today my dad's going in for surgery to have his tumor removed at 4. I wanted to thank Joshua and leetee for their well-wishes. Any positive thoughts around that time would be truly appreciated.
Also, Jason, believe me, if I could get the good stuff, you'd be welcome to come out here to share! I'm a little sketchy about that plane-smuggling method....
Anyway, it should be quite the party, actually, at the hospital. When my grandpa was dying last year it got a little roudy, so it should be interesting for just a surgery. My family is really good at making their own fun. So between 1 grandma, 3 aunts, 1 brother, my mom, sister-in-law, niece and friends, it'll be a little nuts. I know how grateful my parents (and myself) are for having so many people around to care and be supportive. It doesn't surprise me, my dad's like the best guy in the world....

Paul, super good luck to you on that interview. It would be great to find something that fulfills you without entirely consuming you....

love to all!

later

15 miles on the Erie Canal....

It's amazing to me that no one knows this song on the West Coast - although I don't know why they would.

Anyways, got this from my This Day in History email:

ERIE CANAL OPENS:
October 26, 1825

The Erie Canal opens, connecting the Great Lakes with the Atlantic Ocean via the Hudson River. Governor DeWitt Clinton of New York, the driving force behind the project, led the opening ceremonies and rode the canal boat Seneca Chief from Buffalo to New York City.New York legislators became interested in the possibility of building a canal across New York in the first decade of the 19th century. Shipping goods west from Albany was a costly and tedious affair; there was no railroad yet, and to cover the distance from Buffalo to New York City by stagecoach took two weeks. Governor Clinton enthusiastically took up the proposal to build a canal from Buffalo, on the eastern point of Lake Erie, to Albany, on the upper Hudson, passing through the gap in the mountains in the Mohawk Valley region. By 1817, he had convinced the legislature to authorize the expenditure of $7 million for the construction of a canal that he proposed would be 363 miles long, 40 feet wide, and four feet deep.Work began on "Clinton's Ditch" in August 1823.

Teams of oxen plowed the ground, but for the most part the work was done by Irish diggers who had to rely on primitive tools. They were paid $10 a month, and barrels of whisky were placed along the canal route as encouragement. West of Troy, 83 canal locks were built to accommodate the 500-foot rise in elevation. After more than two years of digging, the 425-mile Erie Canal was opened on October 26, 1825, by Governor Clinton.As Clinton left Buffalo in the Seneca Chief, an ingenious method of communication was used to inform New York City of the historic occasion.

Cannons were arranged along the length of the canal and the river, each within hearing distance of the next cannon. As the governor began his trip, the first cannon was fired, signaling the next to fire. Within 81 minutes, the word was relayed to New York--it was the fastest communication the world had ever known. After arriving in New York on September 4, Clinton ceremoniously emptied a barrel of Lake Erie water in the Atlantic Ocean, consummating the "Marriage of the Waters" of the Great Lakes and the Atlantic.The effect of the canal was immediate and dramatic. Settlers poured into western New York, Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, and Wisconsin. Goods were transported at one-tenth the previous fee in less than half the previous time.

Barge loads of farm produce and raw materials traveled east as manufactured goods and supplies flowed west. In nine years, tolls had paid back the cost of construction. Later enlarged and deepened, the canal survived competition from the railroads in the latter part of the 19th century. Today, the Erie Canal is used mostly by pleasure boaters, but it is still capable of accommodating heavy barges.

So just the other day my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. Very few of you know my dad, but if you did, you would know that he is just one of the best guys in the world, and for sure the best daddy for this daddy's girl. So naturally this news struck me very heavily.

He was diagnosed on Tuesday, and he will have removal surgery on Wednesday, perhaps followed by radiation/chemo. A little bit nuts. Last time I was home I realized how nice it was to live far away from my family - cause, you know, there all crazy and all.... but it's times like this I really hate being far away; I would love to be there for my dad on wednesday, but the plane ticket isn't in my budget at all.

It's weird too because something like this makes you think about .... hm, kind of peripheral things that you wouldn't think you'd think about.... like I'm just worrying even more so, kind of, about my mom, because I think my dad's the only thing that's kept her together at different times throughout their 35 of being married, and I just don't know how she would manage if my dad wasn't around.

Now, I'm totally feeling super optimistic about everything, and colon cancer's the most recoverable, and I'm really not too concerned that he's not going to be around (at least not yet, I guess) but it's just odd the things that come into your head. I worry if they have enough money, if his insurance is good to cover everything, all that stuff - mom type of stuff to worry about. Well, I guess that makes sense.

So, anyways, guys, especially those that are ripening nicely in age, go get checked out, it's super important!

---

Woman performs caesarean on self

"Woman performs own caesarean to save baby

(Reuters) -- A pregnant woman in Mexico gave birth to a healthy baby boy after performing a caesarean section on herself with a kitchen knife, doctors said on Tuesday.

It is thought to be the first known case of a self-inflicted caesarean in which both the mother and baby survived.

The unidentified 40-year-old, who lived in a rural area without electricity, running water or sanitation that was an eight-hour drive from the nearest hospital, performed the operation when she could not deliver the baby naturally.

She had lost a previous baby due to labor complications.

"She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts...and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried," said Dr R.F. Valle, of the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico.

Valle recounted the event in a report in the International Journal of Gynecology and Obstetrics.

Before losing consciousness the woman told one of her children to call a local nurse for help. After the nurse stitched the wound with a sewing needle and cotton thread, the mother and baby were transferred and treated by Valle and his colleagues at the nearest hospital.

"This case represents an unusual and extraordinary decision by a women in labour who, unable to deliver herself spontaneously, and with no medical help or resources, decided to perform a caesarean section upon herself," Valle said.

He added that a mother's instinct to save her child can move a woman to perform extraordinary acts but said it would not have been necessary if adequate medical care had been available."





I just wonder, did she drink the hard liquor for courage/numbness (probably not to much more harmful than general anethesia) or use it to dip the knife in? Probably both....

I've had a c-section, and can't even imagine giving myself one! Props to her, I think!

So for some reason I got the bright idea into my head last night, after already having about 4 or 5 cocktails at home, to go to the bar at like 9:00 last night. This is what happens when I pretend to be a good girl for a while - I just end up doing something stupid like getting totally f'd up on a "school night". Stupid.

O ye coffee!
O ye water!
O ye advil!
O ye poppy-seed bagel....

Bring together your magic forces to sponge up the bourbon in me tummy!

If you're ever in San Diego and in need of a strong cheap drink, the Kensington Club in the Ab-normal Heights is the place to go! (unless you have to work in the morning!) Bastards!

Also, it's not my birthday today! Happy birthday to all! And a very merry un-birthday to the rest!

Is there an easier way to respond to someone's comments? If so, I'm in the dark...Anywho, Paul, Bob is actually doing pretty well. Not like he's all cleaned up andmade a bunch of progress, but he's out of the phase of destroying things with a sledgehammer (that was scary for a while, I assure you!). Also, he spent about $17,000 getting his teeth fixed, so he's got a brand-new grill and feeling pretty good about that.Ladycroft, no I didn't donate it. I think I might have if I had cut it, say, to my shoulders. But no, I kept it. Also, sorry for keeping you up at Paul's party in August!

Theecarey, speaking of painful hair situations, I used to live right across from, oh gosh, I guess Das Boot isn't there anymore, but a few doors down from Pano's (1097 or 1079 Elmwood). It was a very loooong apartment with a long hallway down the side, and rooms all off to the left of that. Anyway, I used to get going a full run down that hallway, and all of the sudden my hair would catch on a nail (of which, for some reason, there were countless many of in the doorways and walls) and literally throw me to the ground. Actually, that happened a lot. I was ususally not very sober, so found it terribly humorous (I still do!). Also, sometimes I would be dreaming of drowning in seaweed, and wake to find my hair wrapped insanely around my arms at the pits - it would take me awhile to figure my out of it!