I want to preface this with a little note. I know there are some people on this site who can't legally get "married" to the one they love in NYS. In Buffalo Quaker Meeting there is a 70 year old woman who has spent half her life fighting for GLBT rights. And when NYS decides to turn the corner, I know Buffalo Quaker Meeting will be one of the first to recognize marriage for everyone who is in love, and I would be happy to be invited.


Part 2: The Ceremony.

We wanted to have the ceremony outside under this huge tree in the front yard, but we weren't sure if it would happen. The forecast was calling for 70% chance of rain. You can't control the weather, but I was just hoping for 2 rain-free hours to do the ceremony outside. The reception was going to be under a huge tent, so it didn't matter if it rained later in the day, but the ceremony would be so much nicer outside under the tree in the front of the house.

When we finished taking pictures at the lake it was windy, really cloudy, and it had rained on us a little. We went back to the house for the ceremony and we both expected the chairs to be safely under the tent. We arrived at the house, and the place looked totally different than how we left it. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and seeing all these people, gathering in the country with their fancy clothes on, walking in a hundred different directions, moving out of the way of our car as we passed. And to our surprise all the chairs were confidently set up under the tree.


Getting Everything Ready


Our un-signed Wedding Certificate

There were people everywhere! We only had about 10-15 minutes before the ceremony started. I kind of led Molly through the jungle of people so we could go upstairs and get ready, "hi... good to see you, we gotta go hide upstairs..." We paused to give grandma a kiss on the cheek but that was it. I forgot to shave that morning, so I did that. Then I stuck my head out the door to check on the microphones. We waited on the steps, for things to start. Edgar gave everyone an overview of Quaker practice and what would happen during the ceremony. Then we walked out.



We sit in calm silence until we feel moved to say our vows. People might pray, or meditate, or just quiet down their minds to bring a spiritual calm into their hearts.





Quakers would call the silence during meeting, becoming centered, listening for the light within, or waiting for god. Quakers usually worship in silence, unless they are inwardly moved to speak. We waited about 10 minutes. This must have seemed like a long time to non-quakers, but I noticed many of them dreamily gazing at me and my bride, I think they understood. When we were both calm and ready, we said our vows. The sun was out.






First Kiss

Our Vows:
"In the presence of the spirit, our friends and our family, I take thee, to be my Wife. I promise with love, to be caring and compassionate, to be supportive and patient, to show understanding and empathy, to keep an open and honest heart, and to always nurture our shared unity as your Husband from this day forward."

We wrote our vows together, and remembered everything. After saying our vows, we exchanged Rings, and signed the Marriage Certificate.



Then we looked at each other and we both wanted a hug.





That's when everyone gets teary eyed. We sit back down again, and the marriage certificate is read aloud.



For the rest of the meeting we just wait silently for people to share messages from their hearts.


The dog was interested, but he was calm too.


Our View




Under the huge canopy of shade provided by the the ancient and sturdy Maple tree.

There is no minister leading the ceremony, anyone can speak if they are moved to do so. People just raise their hand for a microphone, and share what they wish. It's unscripted, and the messages are very personal, and very spiritual. We waited about 15 minutes in silence. The first message was a song called 'Simple Gifts', it was shared by someone from Buffalo Meeting. Below is a picture of all the people who shared.



As you can see, anyone can speak, weather they're 9 years old or 90. Many people shared stories about us, or they talked about love and marriage, how happy they were for us, and how good we are for each other. Something like this ... "listening to the leaves, and the birds, and feeling the warmth of the sun, it seems as if the heavens are celebrating with us." "May your love be as broad as the branches above you, and as deep as the roots below." "We love when they do First Day School, they're so nice and fun to be around." "The bride adopted us as her grandparents when she moved to Fredonia. She would arrive late at night to sleep at our house, we woke her up, fed her, and gave her a ride to Quaker Meeting on Sunday." "the groom and I have known each other since we were born, and we did all those important things together, like climbing trees or playing with legos." .... It was realy nice.

A few More Photos from during the messages.








Bride's Family


My Mom Sharing, she's so cute.


The Scene for our big Country Wedding.





After the Meeting Ends our families and wedding party sign the Marriage certificate. Everyone at the wedding also signs the certificate during the night. The entire ceremony was wonderful, things went so well, and we got to do it outside under the tree. We are very blessed. Afterward we said hi to some of the guests, and did family portraits.

Next time, the reception. Honeymoon stuff later too.

I'm glad I'm writing all this stuff down, it's nice to remember it now, and I want to keep all the details.

Enjoy

Part One:

We got Married in the Fingerlakes at (e:mmtornow)'s parents house on June 28 2008, and had a 2 week Honeymoon in the Adirondacks afterward. My former co-workers did the photography, and they just gave me all the raw photos afterward, I've spent the past week editing them all. We have about 1000 photos from the wedding, and 1000 from the honeymoon. so this is part one.

We did a lot of work ourselves cause this was a backyard wedding, and we didn't have all that stuff banquet halls have. So we reserved the tent, tables, chairs, linens, and bought plates, napkins, decorations, booze etc. We went out to the Fingerlakes on Wednesday before the wedding to get things ready. We were pretty well prepared.

It was supposed to rain all week, but you can't control the weather, and the tent was big enough to hold everyone, so we didn't worry too much about it. I was just hoping to have the ceremony outside. Here's me and my new Bro-in-law on Thursday morning as the tent is being delivered. He's tall.



as you can see it was raining a bit then, and the forecast for Saturday went from 50% chance of rain to 70% through the week.

Friday Rehersal Dinner.
Glad we did this, because a lot of our 'people' had last minute concerns about everything. After answering about 135 questions apiece, I had a Headache, and (e:mmtornow) was wishing we had just done it at city hall, she was overwhelmed and in tears at the end. So we resolved to enjoy our wedding day no matter what. I told her if anyone asked us any questions on the Wedding day just say "that's your area of expertise, I trust your judgment" and move on. After almost a year of preparation, the wedding day we just had to let it fly. We weren't going to worry about it.

Saturday Morning:
Despite our decision to take it easy, there was a small list of things that needed to be done the day of the wedding. Picking up the beer, and making table numbers were the big ones. But I wasn't going to let (e:mmtornow) worry about it. The hair stylist came at about 9:00 and my plan was to let (e:mmtornow) hide in an air conditioned room while I delegated responsibility. Things went smoothly, I talked to all the 'people' mostly friends who happened to have the skills we needed. then I dropped everything and got dressed about Noon.



That's right, breaking with tradition we got ready together. We're not down with that superstitious tradition stuff. I feel like most of it comes from nervous medieval pre-contraception parents, and arranged marriages. We slept in the same bed, got ready together, and took portraits together before the ceremony. For me, as a wedding photographer, I see all kinds of brides getting ready, putting on their dress and hanging with the girls, it's one of those things, I couldn't miss part of my own wedding story. Actually I even took some pictures on my small camera before the photographers arrived. It made me feel relaxed :).


Bride, sans-wedding dress


Marvin wants to come


That's me checking the list in my head, and rushing to get my tie on for photos.


on the move

Portraits:
We headed to Seneca lake park with the Wedding Party before the ceremony. I'd definitely recommend taking portraits before the ceremony. You have a choice to sit in a room nervously awaiting 3 o'clock, or hang out with your closest friends in a park making each other smile. Pictures definitely kept us relaxed, even without champagne. The weather? It sprinkled a bit, not a problem, and the overcast skies were great for pictures. The photographers are Mike from New Visions Photography my former boss, and Angela my former co-worker. Real easy to work with and friends. They gave me all the Raw files, and did the wedding kind of as a favor.




































Next Entry I'll do the Ceremony. We also got new kitties as a wedding present and I want to post stuff, but I'm doing the wedding first. Enjoy!

(e:mmtornow) and I are about to tie the knot :) this weekend June 28 we are getting married in the Fingerlakes on her parents property. We've been together for 5 and a half years, living together for 3, and engaged for 2.5. The big weekend is here. We are having a Quaker Ceremony, and everything will be outdoors at her parents house. We have a big tent for dinner and the reception.

After photographing over 100 weddings, it has been interesting planning my own. We've found a way to make it personal, and meaningful. We are pretty laid back and frugal people. But we're attentive about aesthetics and we want our guests to feel comfortable and welcome. I think we've bent the traditional wedding mold quite a bit, and I'm thankful that our families are so accepting. Quaker ceremonies are very meaningful and sentimental, I'm glad to be part of this tradition. The reception will be fun too, we have a good DJ, and I think a bunch of people will be out on the dancefloor.

We have been planning for a long time, and at this point we have most of the arrangements wrapped up. I'll be posting some pictures when we get back from our honeymoon. We will be gone for 2 weeks in the Adirondacks, camping, backpacking, sitting by the lake, enjoying peace and quiet.

Just for reference we got engaged on 11/15/2005 (e:dcoffee,21694)

Had much fun this year at the Allentown and Allen West festivals. My friend came up from Angola, he hasn't been since he was a kid. It was fun going with them, they bought a bunch of stuff, and I got Mmtornow a great birthday present :). The weather was perfect, not as hot as it was the past few years. We went both days, I saw most of the festival with my friend on saturday, he wanted to see all of it cause it was a rare occasion for him. We were all sore from walking when we got back home for that well deserved beer. On sunday my main goal was taking pictures, I wanted to capture the scene.

You can see the photos larger at my Flickr Account



Nickel City Co-Op Festivities, "more living less parking"

The pigs have flown, you wild and improbable dreams are about to come true!


Allen West








I can see why this extra festival sprung up. Millions of people come to the streets of Buffalo, but they come for the vendors, many of whom are from out of state. The businesses that usually occupy these streets aren't able to set up tents or compete with the festival. I know restaurants do well, but the businesses on Allen decided to start their own festival, it's a lot of fun. The festivals both have their own charm.

Allentown Art Festival








Louies after the festival saturday, Ambrosia before :)

The Supreme Court ruled today that everyone deserves a right to know why they are in prison. And if you are imprisoned, you get an opportunity to see a judge, have a trial, and if you are innocent get out of prison.

Sounds basic right, but..... it was a 5-4 vote, meaning the Supreme Court just barely saved the Constitution, by one vote.

And those other 4 Justices are Nuts! Don't believe me? Here's Justice Scalia... "America is at war with radical Islamists.. this ruling will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed." Stop, he's a judge, on the Supreme Court, judges are supposed to interpret the law, and preserve the Constitution right? Where does it say "Uphold the Constitution, unless America is at war with radical Islamists", Where is it? Where's the 'Islamic war exception clause' that allows you to throw out the constitution!?!?!

The main point of the Constitution and the Supreme Court, is to make sure that politicians don't overreact during a war or some other tragedy, and throw out the Bill of Rights in a panic.

Scalia also predicts more Americans will be killed. That's his job? Predicting the future? Those damned "activist judges".... oh, it's conservative activism, legislating from the bench.. that's different.

Some of the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay have been held for 6 years without a trial. They are all declared Enemy Combatants by the president, and that's supposed to make it ok. They don't need a trial to prove they are a threat, the president said so, that's good enough.

America is supposed to be a nation of laws, not ruled by the passions of men. You usually have a trial to prove someone violated a law, then sentence them to prison. There are countries in the world that do it backwards, they declare people an enemy, skip the trial, and throw them in jail forever, those countries are called Dictatorships, and the leaders are called Tyrants. That's why we have a Constitution in This country, to prevent tyrants from seizing power and changing the laws to suit their self interest.

The Supreme Court did its job today, this is good news, that we saved habeas corpus for now, but it worries me that it was such a close decision. The fanatic opposition also worries me. I'm holding my breath for the November elections.


Read some

What is the goal in Iraq? I thought we wanted to turn over management of Iraq to the Iraqis, so we can come home and stop spending 720 million dollars per day in Iraq and start using it here where it is desperately needed. You know we could fix crumbling bridges and levees and stuff.

Right now the US is negotiating a 'status of forces' agreement with Iraq that would allow the US to maintain 58 military bases in Iraq. I'm not sure if that includes the US embassy next to Baghdad that is the size of a college campus.

Top Iraqi officials are calling for a radical reduction of the U.S. military's role here after the U.N. mandate authorizing its presence expires at the end of this year. Encouraged by recent Iraqi military successes, government officials have said that the United States should agree to confine American troops to military bases unless the Iraqis ask for their assistance, with some saying Iraq might be better off without them.

"The Americans are making demands that would lead to the colonization of Iraq," said Sami al-Askari, a senior Shiite politician ... "If we can't reach a fair agreement, many people think we should say, 'Goodbye, U.S. troops. We don't need you here anymore.' "

Read Iraqi reactions and some more details about the negotiations.




Another interesting article Bush Has a few regrets,

In the UK times online "President Bush regrets his legacy as man who wanted war"



Update, One more thing

War is an opportunity to make money, for some companies. And politicians sometimes like excuses to give handfuls of taxpayer money to rich corporations, they hope the corporations will finance their campaign, or maybe give them a high paid job when they get caught screwing the taxpayer and get thrown out of Washington. AKA the Military Industrial Complex.

the $300 Billion Betrayal - Video
Weapons programs at the defense department are one of the biggest sources of wasteful spending in the federal budget. Just to give you an idea of how much $300 billion is, you could run the entire state of Tennessee for 11 years on just $295 billion. That $300 billion number comes from the Government Accountability Office's new report on Defense Acquisitions. Watch the video and see examples.

Just a thought.

I'm one of those 20 something people who grew up in the 90s and I was taught that I live in the future. We learned about World Wars, slavery, unequal rights, lynching, Hitler, fascism, communism, bombing London, and all the other horrible stuff.

But that was history, America had made it to the future. Americans are living in a fair and just democracy now, the rest of the world was coming along too, because we were setting a noble example, and sticking to our high minded ideals. We knew there were problems in the world, but international cooperation, community, and a fair justice system could solve these problems.

The pride and confidence of our generation has been eroded after September 11. Partly because we were attacked, and we realized that not everyone had made it to the future with us. But mostly for me, it was the barbaric response of our government. We said we would eliminate Saddam Hussein whether the rest of the world liked it or not. It didn't matter that we had no real evidence against him, and that he had no connection to 911 whatsoever. The America I expected, was supposed to rally the world behind a common goal. I expected the criminals to be exposed an humiliated, because what they did was clearly wrong. I expected justice, I expected our nation to have faith in a system of laws without self interest. A legal system that seeks to expose the truth, and expects rational people to see a path to justice.

We got none of it. We went backward, instead of forward. We got infinite detention and kangaroo trials, we abandoned international law and cooperation, we decided might makes right, shoot first ask questions later, the public was misinformed and deceived on purpose, color coded alert systems, we couldn't keep citizens in New Orleans from drowning, or bridges in Minnesota from collapsing, we even got rid of one of those ancient Latin laws that was the foundation of our country, called Habeas Corpus. And the people of my generation, once they woke up, said holly shit, it CAN happen here.

Maybe it's just me but it seems like this election fits into that history. The younger generation voted less than the older generation, partly because we took our country for granted, we thought peace and prosperity was a given. In 2004 we were demoralized and fearful, we still didn't vote enough. But in 2008, seems like there is potential, possibilities. We can take our country back. And one of the things I like most about Obama, he keeps saying WE can change Washington. Saying that the American people must be involved if we want to fix this country. Nobody is going to do it for us, we are looking for leadership, but we can't do it without a committed public, it's up to the American people to take their country back. Maybe politics can become a national pastime again.

I don't recognize the America of the last 7 years, the is not the America I was supposed to inherit. I think my generation is ready to reclaim America.

This perked my interest. Now "outside the bubble" Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan coming to terms with the failure of Washington politics. The way he describes it really pinpoints some of the fundamental failures that have manifested in government.

Washington has become the home of the permanent campaign, a game of endless politicking based on the manipulation of shades of truth, partial truths, twisting of the truth, and spin. Governing has become an appendage of politics rather than the other way around, with electoral victory and the control of power as the sole measures of success. That means shaping the narrative before it shapes you. Candor and honesty are pushed to the side in the battle to win the latest news cycle...

That is key, that is the lens through which we can understand, and think critically about what the elected officials want us to believe. The manipulation of truth, to serve the permanent campaign, that is a fundamental problem in our system. We should be aware of this manipulation, and seek ways to overcome it. The press and the public need to be skeptical.

Read more about his new book

In the Buffalo News today, Rod Watson lays the failure of the US healthcare system out there for everyone to see. The commentary is inspired by a local story about a mis-diagnosed 4 year old child on Medicaid who died. The doctor didn't even look at her.

Watson is blunt and to the point, the article is like a 5 minute version of Sicko.

Rod Watson: Don't expect health reform any time soon
By Rod Watson
Updated: 05/08/08

The richest and smartest nation in the world has the dumbest health care system, one that leaves out 47 million people while spending far more than any other nation.

It's a system in which those on Medicaid - like a father who lost his 4-month-old daughter - get shunned or wonder if they're getting substandard treatment.

Yet you won't hear Sens. Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or John McCain talking about the obvious solution: a national, single-payer system that could preserve private doctors and hospitals, yet stop wasting money on health insurers who give no shots and perform no surgeries.

Full article, check it out, it's a quick read


Rod Watson is my new Buffalo Hero

This is in response to (e:jason,44190)

Even I am tired of it. Still reading and up to date, but the showmanship and trivial issues have completely turned me off.

Why does the media spend so much time talking about BS? Does anybody actually give a damn about Rev Wright?! "Is this going to help or hurt the campaign" well seriously, who gives a shit. I want to know "will this help America" you worthless 'pundit' do you have a Twinkie in your head?!?!?

America needs solutions, and the corporate media can't even facilitate the discussion.

My favorite infamous quote from the last ABC debate a few weeks ago, "Does Rev. Wright love America as much as you do?" Oh boy, thank you George, that is definitely the question I was burning to ask Obama. What a great service you are doing for the country.

Somehow I don't think this is what freedom of the press is all about. Let's have 25 people talk about Rev Wright, or Miley Cyrus' bare back, or Clinton visiting a gas pump, wall to wall 2 hour coverage.

They spend more time predicting how the public will react than they do talking about the issue itself. As if any of the TV blowhards mingles with 'the American public' in order to form their 'expert' opinion.

This is a disgrace.


Here's a media rant for you

and for a little more sarcasm and video in your politics go here

New: Kerry tells MSNBC STFU!