I could not get to sleep last night. I think i should have gone home... i had to go home to get proper shoes anyways. shoulda coulda woulda! :P

i had a great day today. i ended up working the lunch shift, then went to the bank. most of the rent is there already, so that's gonna be good. i also had a talk with april about money... seems like things will sort themselves out like i thought.

i'd like to complain less.

After that, Stevie and Michael picked me up after they left the burchfield penney. We went for dinner at Amy's Place. I got the biff sandwich and we all split veggie wet shoes. they both got lentil berry sandwiches... everything was so good! i had a lot of liquid... coffee, water, cream soda... i've peed a lot today. my tonsils were feeling swollen last night and earlier but now i feel fine?

We were having conversations about all of these transitions and such, and then stevie discovered my coffee cup and turned it towards me. what a coincidence... my life is just one big coincidence. a grand synchronized dance.
it really is weird how many seem to be happening.

we tried to find a book store to go to after, but everything was closed early? We ended up going to sweet_ness 7 for desert drinks and ended up playing a really fun game of scrabble. Soon after arriving, the storm began. it was kind of magical, the way the air felt, the music, the sound of the thunder and rain, the dim lighting, the feeling of closeness with my friends... I live for those small moments of magic. They make me feel human again.

Brandy is coming, soon. She comes the 6 - 10? of june. I can't wait to have her near again. We always resume right where we left off. Much fun will be had. If possible, i will take her to that soul night event. i had an unbelievable amount of fun the last time i went. i have to go to this one. i missed the other ones.

when i got home, i sat on the porch, watching the storm. it was nice.

went to an Edm event last night. it was kind of terrible, but we managed to make it fun anyways.

I have had an incredibly fun past several days. and an incredibly interesting past few days.

from both bare-handed and wooden spoon spankings, to showing my managers the profusion of dick pics i receive lately at a gay bar, to receiving fist fulls of condoms from little latin gay boys at a straight bar... from much needed sexytimes at unexpected times and places, to interesting sister-bar-fight-broken-finger-stories, to... so much more.

I think after tonight I will finally be tuckered out. it has been one long event since tuesday night last week. and it all culminated in a strange full night evening indeed. I think every single person i know, including myself, was faced with some form of a challenge or another.

life is truly interesting. I enjoy observing it. sometimes it gobbles me up and then spits me back out, though. splat!

today i went to the first read-through of the play with most of the actors out in bidwell park. Mikey, my ex, has a new boyfriend, and i play opposite him as his character's love interest.

Why is my life a soap opera? I guess i could choose to not be in the play if i really wanted couldn't handle it, but I see it more as a challenge that i can meet. a sort of test of the strength of character I possess. I think i can be totally cool with this guy and even make friends. just not with mikey. I guess it's not so bad, I guess. I think some people would be too freaked out.

i went for coffee at aroma after.





since it was so busy 2 weeks ago at work, the check i got just this last friday was rather substantial. it covers rent all by itself. so that portion, i consider spent.

Iceland is coming. I'm really cutting it close with getting everything figured out. I'm just not a planner. I figure it out when it comes to it. That just doesn't scare me. i know i'll be fine.

but that's if i get to go. there's 1 problem. My sister got into a bar fight with the bartender's wife at her new job she just got a week and a half ago. like face punching, rip earrings out, hair puling, dragging across the floor fight. She might not have a job anymore.

this means she might not have a source of income. again. The last time i had a major trip planned, this happened - her losing her job. I had almost saved up all the money i needed to buy tickets to Istanbul, had gotten my passport, was figuring out transportation in the city... nd then she lost her job. AND michael was short on rent. so i had to use alllll of my money to pay rent and bills.

I know i don't make much, and if i decided to go to iceland despite my sister possibly not having a way to pay her rent in july, we'd basically all be fucked... but i am considering just letting us be fucked so i can go on my stupid trip.

i think i have enough friends that would be more than willing to put me up if it came to that, but her... Not so sure. Honestly, i don't think it will come to that.

like always, i think she will land on her fet, and so will i, and so will michael, and we'll all be fine, just like it always turns out. I just feel like the stress she causes other people with her shenanigans is really unfair. but then again, i'm sure i must do unfair things that she can tell me about.

it was definitely werewolf-worthy. glad i got these before it cleared up.

interestingness abound. fine by me!

i went to kung food on main st... it's next door to ming, by UB south. very yummy food. i got the night market fish, with glass noodles and Asian potato salad. i also got a strawberry, red bean bubble tea. a unique flavor, indeed.

before that i stopped into record theatre and saw a record compilation of Tamil synth pop from 80s movies. i wanted it soooo bad.

my dad took us out to blue fin for dinner after graduation. i wasn't expecting anything, so it was quite nice... we got the titanic. we also split the basil shrimp.

i wore my cowboy shirt, tucked in with dress slacks. it looked nice.

it felt really good to be close with loved ones. i was a tad sad i couldn't have everyone there i wanted but nothing beats having your mom and dad say they are proud. my mom and sister were crying in the audience when we came out to the floor to our seats. it made me choked up to see. it was a good day.

before i me from for buff state, April, Michael, and i had cocktails. caramel vodka, Bailey's, cream, and vanilla ice cream.

i did it. it's really fucking hot.

well... i didn't get go on a ride tonight, but my sister decided to take me out to dinner. we went to mother's.

we shared a bottle of wine, steamed mussels, calamari, and took the entrées to go. i got pan seared sea scallops with black fettucini. so delicious :

It's been interesting lately. I think?

over the last week i worked a ton. i was a busy rabbit with school and work x_x Sunday, I went to (e:paul) and (e:terry)'s to check out the bike, and i asked if i could wash my work uniform while i was over. I ended up helping garden for a few hours, and I had a lot of fun. I really love getting dirty like that. I love playing in dirt and digging things and touching plants. :) couldn't have been w more well spent sunday. I had dinner there. Paul and I were supposed to ride bikes after i gt it up and going but we ended up just watching clips of maria bamford and kasha (a dragqueen/youtube personality). Maria Bamford makes me laugh so hard. She's so weird, I love her humor. here's a clip...



here's a good one of Kasha



i left in hopes that i'd get a lot of my essay done, but I got a paragraph and a half in and fell right to sleep.

Yesterday I finished my last day of classes at ECC. In 4 hours, i completed 2 final tests, and wrote a 7 page essay and got it handed in before my professor left his office. Then i worked, of course... after, i ended up biking over to Rita and shared some drinks.

I slept over after we had some long talks about various things going on in our lives. We usually have some pretty good talks :)We're like each other's counselors, haha...

The next morning she woke me up with breakfast. i slept like a rock! After i left, i ended up biking towards home, but i had this intense burst of energy and just decided to keep going...


that's roughly my path... i mean it's not crazy, but i just had so much energy pent up. had to get it out somehow. When i finally got home, i was a sweaty mess. But that didn't stop me. I just powered through and went on a cleaning frenzy. I was like a tornado of fire going through the house. That shit is clean. I swept and mopped the entire house, cleaned the kitchen, bathroom, did the dishes, repotted plants... I was literally on hands and knees scrubbing floors and walls. i also was able to get one of the kitchen windows to finally open. it was painted shut so i just went at it with a butter knife... i did so much heavy lifting.

after, i went to my spanish group... we weren't very productive today :P we just kinda gabbed. I biked there and back...

tonight i'm supposedly biking with Jens, and possibly Rita... not sure where, but i figured we'd just go in a direction.

The bike (e:paul) and (e:terry) let me use is way better than my last bike, the seat is so comfortable, and i sit nice and high on it. It rides a lot smoother as well. It doesn't go as fast as my last one, but that's pretty irrelevant. I don't have to go as fast as i did on my last bike. honestly, it was dangerous how fast i'd go.

soon, i'm cooking dinner for myself. we'll see what i rustle up... it's nice to have the place to myself. michael is sequestered away and april is over at sarah's for the night. :)

Tomorrow, I graduate. I will have an Associates in Arts (and sciences?). Then to UB...

I seriously have a ridiculous amount of energy right now. I feel like a supernova. I'm going to need to get sexed at some point soon, or I think i will just combust. It's been kind of a while. >_< Gahhh!

listening to your sister threaten physical violence over the phone to people who owe her money.

I'm so mad that this happens in my house. This is not supposed to be a violent place. The best part is that she chooses to do it literally right outside my bedroom door. Where do I go? This is my only place away from everything.

I have to confront her eventually.

The screwed up part is that prior to this, so many friends were looking for roommates all at the same time. it's like the universe was trying to tell me something... (get out, don't live with your angry, crazy sister)

but then again, this could just be one more lesson in me getting a backbone... I can't be a pushover my entire life. Hm. Thinking about that, I realize how many other ways i'm presented with that same opportunity.

I guess a little journaling can do the soul good.