I forgot to mention that I got to march in the parade this year with Block Club Magazine! It was a lot of fun, a lot of friends marched with us including those new gays who moved here from nyc who are youtube famous, Billy & Pat. I met them at a memorial day bbq - they are super nice and friendly. Mickey and I engaged in our own form of protesting the protesters as I'm sure those who have facebook have seen. Here's a few photos (that I did not take)

(clicky here)

but here's my very favorite~

So I guess I've got some updates...

My wrist and both elbows are pretty much up to speed and I was back to work by May 29th. Mickey was an awesome boyfriend through the ordeal. My Dad bought me groceries to last through the month while I was healing, and I relied on that as much as I could when applicable, but Mickey did help me out a lot. I tried my best to just remain busy and active and use my arms and wrist as much/as realistically as possible so they didn't get to weak or stiff, but now that I'm back to work, I can really feel the difference in strength.

I want to really try and start a gym regimen at work or school, but I'm rally timid to try and I wanna find someone to go with who'll either show me the ropes or is an inexperienced as I am, so I can pretend to take charge and learn. the idea of working out in front of a room full of people seems mortifying to me. When people are looking, they ARE looking to judge/check you out, don't tell me otherwise. I know.

Naturally we had more disagreements about moving in/not moving in and I had had it so I told him never to bring it up again unless he was 100% certain and actually wanted me to move in, and planned on actually asking me to do it instead of insinuating it and he agreed. Well, he did that, but now he wants me to move in like... when i get back from Boston >...>;;;

I'm in Boston! For free. A student at UB desparately needed a patient for an exam who's mouth and cavities were in a specific location/condition, and about a month ago she found me and asked me if I'd sit for the exam for her, so I agreed. The weird thing is that before I got injured, I was planning to maybe go on a trip to either Montreal or Boston, but then it just didn't pan out financially... since I was injured. And then I got to go anyways. Basically she just needed to do a filling or two in order to fulfill some requirements. The cavity she chose to use in my mouth was larger than she anticipated and a little to close for comfort to my tooth pulp, so it took her nine hours to do the filling with a silver amalgam. It was my last molar on the lower right side, just before the wisdom tooth. My jaw was in so much pain by the time we finished that I couldn't even manage to fit the muffin in my mouth from the free food they provided at the dental school (Tufts) I was so hungry but I couldn't physically manage to make my mouth do it for at least an hour once some advil kicked in.

Back to moving in - After he expressed hesitance so many times in the past about it (even though I never asked and he was always the one to bring it up) and I finally hit the wall and told him not to bring it up anymore, now I am the one who feels hesitant and afraid to do it, ironically. We spend most of the week together anyways and my rabbit and cat are basically in the care of my roommates and that's not cool. I usually only spend 1 - 3 days at home per week, so I'm paying rent at the wrong apartment. What makes me want to leave amherst street is the distance from everything i frequent and my roomies. they are cool don't get me wrong but roommate A is kind of an alcoholic and can't find work and his unemployment is about to run out, and roommate B is really frustrating concerning money and having to track him down for it every month. I'm tired of being in charge of finances in every single living situation I've ever been in. I want someone else to be in charge of money for once. Or to share responsibility with.

The semester is over with and I got 2 As a B and a C. I'm registered for 4 classes already for next semester and I got an internship at the Bilingual Academy as a Teacher's Assistant, but I still havent recieved any details about it. Also starting the June, the Applications have opened for Suny New Paltz's Sevilla study abroad program. I am going to apply, I am going to get in, and I am going to go. Nothing is going to stand in my way of becoming fluent.

On the topic of Spanish, I no longer have a conversation group every tuesday to go to, so I need to find a way to use it more. I thought of starting my own group but I am really intimidated by that idea, because if I lead the group and people show up who are more fluent than I, I will feel a little silly. But someone needs to lead it. I'm also developing my goals on what I want for myself, what I want t do in Buffalo, and where I see myself in the future. It's all the in between work that I have to get through. It seems so endless and so limited at the same time. I realize everyone has their own unique pace in life, but I still feel "behind" but really, that's an illusion; an anxiety. I am afraid that if I really pursue this dream that it will take me away too much, and that scares me because I finally feel like I have a chance at planting true roots and developing a home and maybe a family, so the idea that I might have to compromise that or that it might fall apart because I follow a dream is deeply frightening and saddening to me. Someone who pursues linguistics or a specific language must have to travel a lot. I think my biggest obstacle here is trust and confidence. In the here and now, I don't often have problems with that, but if i get to fixated on the future, the fear really takes over.

I have so my many interests. I will become fluent in Spanish, I want to study linguistics, I want to become fluent in Korean, study there one day, be fluent/learn japanese, maybe mandarin, esperanto, and a lot of others. I want it here, I want to create it here, make some kind of a strong, progressive, thriving language center here because we don't have it, and I want it, and I don't want to settle anywhere else but here. I guess that's my dream. To found or move something like that here and have a living thriving center of linguistics/languages in Buffalo's core.

Oh, hey, back to earth..!

I've incurred a lot of medical expenses. A lot. like, really a lot. It'll be a month and a half before I'm finally caught up enough financially to start paying them off. There's nothing else I can really do about it.

It's possible I can still manage to get a second job for the summer.

I recommend to you try out Clean Bandit of Spotify, or watch the Rather Be music video on youtube... The new Röyksopp and Robyn collaboration EP is also really good.

check'em out:



The clean bandit video is super super cute.