chaos sublime rambling sticky fingers compute ramdomness far away in my world words pictures anger cats dogs houses firefighters madness hollowness fight it all today yesterday comes and goes in a way of peaceful joy climb upward away from today on to tomorrow words jumbled streaming out of my head out of my fingers coming to some sort of form this is fun in a non-thinking kind of way cohesion arrives and one cannot help but wonder where it all comes from.

I AM SO DAMNEDABLE BORED! I can't help it. Today is the slowest day in the history of slow days. I have checked my e-mail seriously half a dozen times today already and it's only ten to one. I've been on Ebay, Crate and Barrel, MSN, and Google for long, long chunks today, plus written out my resume. I detest being bored, especially when there is very little that one can do about it!

I found this article today on bbc news. It seems, well, I think my title says it all.

Crypt used for abortion service

A pregnancy and abortion counselling service has been given permission to set up in a church crypt.
The Cedar Tree Trust is preparing to move in to the former St Nicholas Church on The Cross in Worcester. The space is currently used as a nightclub.

A Church of England committee, which decides what to do with redundant church buildings, approved the change.

But some local ProLife Party members have said a church building should only be used for anti-abortion counselling.

Spokesperson Tatiana Johnson said: "My main concern would be, and I probably speak for many Christians, would be the concern of possibly the wrong message being given out from the church to the public regarding abortion.

"My question would really be why can't we have a pro-life information and pregnancy advice centre within the church?"

The Cedar Tree Trust offers assistance to women facing difficulties in pregnancy, as well as those who have had a miscarriage or an abortion.

Spokesman Rick Thomas said the Church sanctioned the move because the trust gives impartial advice.

There are many times in my job when I do so much more than meets the eye. I actually get involved in my customers' lives, and I know that I am not unusual. We all do it here. You know every little detail, who's sick, who's having a baby, who's moving, who's getting divorced, a new job, a new car, a new house, allergies, etc..., the list truly is endless. I become a friend, a confidant, an advice-giver. Yesterday, one of my favourite customers actually invited me to her house for religious women's group meeting that is held there. That bespeaks of amazing trust and how some people almost look on me and my colleagues as extensions of their families. I find it somewhat sad, but also profoundly beautiful. Hmmm. It's early and ridiculously slow for a Friday. I may be posting somewhat regularly today, if only to aleviate the boredom.

I feel like I've missed my Window. Like all of the good one really ARE gay or taken, as I've been espousing for years. What if I sat on the fence for too long- getting over that one, lingering in love over this one- and what if one night when I ought to have gone out with my friends and I decided to home instead (one of the many), I missed Him- the One. Or what if I'm working on Him- and all of my patience ISN'T for naught. I'm torturing myself today and I know it. I am torturing myself because my bank crush is getting engaged and he's going to propose to his girlfriend (that incidentally, I have never once heard him mention) exactly how I would want to be proposed to. What makes someone want to spend (if he or she is lucky) the rest of his or her life with someone else? Does is come in a blinding flash, or does it grow gradually? How does anyone ever really KNOW?

It is Friday night. I am sitting at home in my kitchen after having just dropped off my tax stuff at the accountant's, which I had been dreading for some time but in a burst of suddenly embracing my adulthood, I felt magnanimous enough to actually do. I have a glass of lovely Shiraz (thank you, Matthew), and I am sure I will have another as I have to finish this damn big bottle sometime and I am just one person!
I am drinking wine in lieu of having the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting that is taunting me. Carbs, you know, and all of that rot, to which I must brag- 25 and a half pounds, thank you very much, that I have lost. This following quite a difficult two weeks following the birthday extravaganza weekend. I have quite a bit to go, but with patience and dedication, two traits which I usually have in short supply for myself, I will accomplish what I have set out to do.

Work was hellish today and not because of people, but because of actual work, of which I have very much to do and I'm guilt ridden because I hate that I was doing someone else's job for the past two weeks and have left so very much to finish. But, I refuse to saddle her with it. It isn't her fault that we were busy and that I am incapable of juggling my time better. The whole multi-task thing I used to perform very ill, very ill indeed, but I am getting better. Now, I must master multi-tasking with all due haste without getting over-whelmed. It's the over-whelmed thing that I really must end. Mmmmm.... wine is helping ever so nicely. If only I could imbibe at work- things would probably be much funnier.

And today was such a lovely day, what a shame to have wasted it on work, blasted work! Happy Birthday, dear older brother, Geoffrey, not that you will ever read this, but there it is none the less.

I feel rather loose now. Oh goody! If only there was someone lucious for me to corrupt right now. Hmmm...

'Night, all. Ciao.

Best wishes to Charles and Camilla tomorrow, of course. ;)

I am mad, MAD, I tell you. Not mad in the angry sense, just mad in the crazy sense. I am obsessed. A friend of mine is having a baby. And I am now in the throws of searching for the exact right cross-stitch for the little sproglet, not the sproglet will even care over the care that his or her de facto Auntie has taken in chusing said cross-stitch. I have just spent the last 55 minutes on line on a website looking at different ones, not to mention the 45 minutes I spent in this pursuit the other evening. And I have so very much to do and yet, I am obsessed in this particular pursuit. And so I am Mad, very, very mad, but I suppose it's part of my charm, this obsessive personality of mine. It only seems to get worse when babies are involved. But I will find it. Rest assured I shall. And it will be devine! And when the sproglet grows up, he or she will appreciate what de facto Auntie so painstakingly chose and made. Heaven help me!

Well, today is my birthday. My actual birthday. I am 27 years old today. 27 years old. Tell that to anyone older than you and they look at you like, "Why are you complaining?" Actually, this year, I'm not complaining. But I think many of you know what I'm talking about. I had one hell of a weekend. For those of you that journeyed out with me on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, thank you ever so much. I had *Thee Best* time! I was definitely nicely looped and although we all got in so late, or so early- depending entirely upon your point of view, I still managed to make it to church for Sunday morning and I was there 15 minutes early, despite having gone to bed at 5 a.m. I survived my churchly duties, came home and took a two and half hour nap. Is there anything better?

Oh, I forgot to mention, on Friday when I came home from work I received a small manilla package and it informed me that I was accepted into the Master's program at Buff. State for Elementary Ed. with teaching certification, also known as the MIITC program. I will be starting grad. school in the fall! And the real irony, is that I received the acceptance letter five years to the day that I had received a rejection letter from the University of Warwick's Masters of History program. It's amazing where we eventually wind up. I'm still in the same place but on a very different course than I was five years ago.

27 years old. And I think I'm finally starting to Feel like an adult. Whatever that is.

I refuse for it to get to me. Little things are not going to ruin my night out. Everything is about perspective, right? Okay, so it just happens that the Trimania thing is this tonight. As if I knew. Although, perhaps, if I were in *the Know*, I would have known. But I can't help it they planned it the day three days prior to *My* birthday! And I can't find the necklace that I really wanted to wear tonight. I know that it is somewhere in my house as it turns up every once in a while, but that once in a while is definitely *Not* tonight. And, yes, I dropped one of my last remaining contacts down the sink. The damn thing just happened to be on inside out, which is terribly uncomfortable, so as I was taking it out to reverse it, the stupid thing fell *Plop* right absolutely square down the drain. I couldn't have done it again so perfectly if I tried. As I refuse to wear my glasses out now strictly on priniciple, I'm just going to be cute and blind. Well, not Thelma on Scooby Doo blind, but let's just say vision challenged. Things from a distance will definitely be blurry. This little things are not going to be indicative of my night. Bright side, bright side, bright side. Okay, have to go and finish getting all dolled up. Friends will be here soon.

I am Vince Clorthos, key master of Gozer, at work these days. And everyday, as I walk around, weilding my rather large assortment of keys, that line from "Ghostbusters" goes through my head. Louis Tulley. The guy who lived across the hall. Frankly, I think I would rather be the gate-keeper.