"Reflections" written by Springfaerie on estrip.org

09/15/04 11:57 - ID#34948

Reflections

Do you ever wonder where the hell you are going in life? I'm sure you do,we all do at some point, but I never used to. When I was about 19, I was arrogant enough to KNOW where I was going and what I was doing and well, of course it was going to happen because that is what I willed. 7 years later, I'm no where near I envisioned that I would be and it's hard because there are times when I look around at people I know or people that are my age and I think to myself, "Why didn't I do THAT instead of THIS? And then I would be THERE instead of HERE." Obviously, that wasn't meant to be. And everyonce in a while, I ask myself if I would really change any of the decisions, or lack of decisions, that I've made in my life, if I could, and the answer is No. My decisions, or lack of decisions,have made me who I am today, a person just trying to figure out what the hell is going on in her life. I'm scared and excited and no where near as arrogant as I used to be, although some people might disagree with that last one, but it is true. I think about that girl I was at 19, and although I am her, she is not me. I think if I could meet her, I would probably slap her and tell her to get over herself!

Permalink: Reflections.html
Words: 250
Location: Sunny LA, NY

09/14/04 12:15 - ID#34947

Why DO I post?

Paul asked a question on his blog, "Why do You post?" and it got me to thinking, Why do I Post? I like to write. Actually, "Like" is a HUGE understatement, I Love to write, I live to write. Writing is like breathing for me, which is how singing is for me, too, but that is not the question at hand.

I think I like to post because when I have odd, random thoughts, or ideas, or feel like I'm going to explode and there's no one else to talk to, but there's always the Elmwoodstrip. I'm not a traditional journaler. I enjoy it, and there is something about putting pen to paper and purging what's going on inside one's brain, however, I'm just not one of those people who can do it every day. It's seems to be too much resposibility. But this is different. And probably because I journal at work, A LOT! It's often not busy, and it's in times like those when the thoughts start to flow and I have to get them out and low and behold, There's the E-Strip!

It's sort of like "Old Faithful" except that it's not that old.

And that My Friends, is why *I* post!

Permalink: Why_DO_I_post_.html
Words: 205
Location: Sunny LA, NY

09/12/04 09:22 - ID#34946

flapper fun in the 21st century

Time to tell everyone of the play by play of the *oh so fabulous* bachelorette party for my dear, lovely friend, Miss Trisha, soon to be Mrs. Trisha. (Whoa! Was that Weird to write!) From what I remember, and despite the amount of alcohol I drank I actually remember quite a lot. It started as your nice, nice party full of women, many of whom were married and more "family". Nice people and it was fun but the party officially began when TK, Terry, Chamile, Sarah, and Tina arrived, looking dapper and dandy. Is it just me, or is TK not a walking party unto himself. I think he could be at a funeral and make it a raucus good time. Add Terry to that mix and my God! What a good time we had! When we finally got to the going out stage, and Paul and Matthew, joined us, the good times rolled right along from Frizzy's down to the Underground for a kick ass Cosmo and some fabulous dancin'. Let's not forget the group photo on the steps of the Mansion on Delaware! I can't wait to see it. Trish, could you kindly send me a copy? But I digress... And then it was back to Allen and the Old Pink.

To some up the night for me, I lost my wallet and broke a shoe and spent all of Saturday recovering, and I definitely needed to recover! I woke up Saturday and felt like Death, and Trisha has the picture to prove it! What a kick ass time!

And I can't believe I rated a Paul e-strip mention! Paul, if I haven't told you, you Rock! We need to hang out more!

More about more stuff later.

Ciao.

Permalink: flapper_fun_in_the_21st_century.html
Words: 291
Location: Sunny LA, NY

08/26/04 05:47 - ID#34945

Sleeping Nude

When I was younger, high school through college age, I had this thing about sleeping nude. Even though I was in my room, in my bed, by myself, I was embarrassed about sleeping in the nude. The only time I would sleep nude was after a night of heavy drinking in which I would come home, drink a large glass of water and eat about 4 slices of bread, then go to my room and promptly strip and go to sleep. But other than my drunken sleeps, I wouldn't dare to sleep in the nude. Then last summer in NYC, something changed. I don't know if it was the fact that it was so damnedably humid in my apartment or what, but I discovered the joy of sleeping in the nude. I still like my pajamas, don't get me wrong, but on those hot, humid nights, or those drunken stupors, there's nothing quite like getting naked!

Permalink: Sleeping_Nude.html
Words: 155
Location: Sunny LA, NY

08/19/04 05:33 - ID#34944

Get this!

Apparently, female soldiers can get free breast implants! And I thought the story about the bear that drank 36 cans of beer was out there! I just had to share what our tax dollars are going for. Free breast implants.

Permalink: Get_this_.html
Words: 39
Location: Sunny LA, NY

08/13/04 01:38 - ID#34943

nauseating moment

I have to get this off of my chest, and hopefully settle my stomach at the same time. Last week, one of the bank customers, a regular, asked me out. Sound flattering? Except for the fact that he's a gross old man, older than my father. He always sort of gave me the willies, but as he seemed harmless enough, I was my usual bubbly self- too many years of work at the Disney Store rubbed off. So last week he asked me out, I dodged it, replying that I'm not allowed to date customers, which isn't true, but he doesn't know that. I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. He responded with "I'm probably old enough to be your daddy." The fact that he actually used the word "daddy" creeped me out, as well as nauseated me, and everytime I thought about it all weekend, I would get that same sick feeling in my stomach. Everyone I told about it would laugh and say, "Well, did you look up his bank account and see how much money he has?" Sorry, not funny!
So, he comes into the bank this morning and I don't want to wait on him, ever again. And the girl next to me gets up and leaves her cubicle so I have to wait on him, or it will seem like I don't want to, which I don't. He asks me what I'm doing next week, I'm business like and just replied that I don't know but I'll be kept busy. And then he says something like, "I know, you can't date customers, not that you would date me anyway. But I've got the money, honey" My answer was a very frank, "I'm 26." He replies, "Yes, and your good looking. Before you know it, you'll be 62." What the Hell is that supposed to mean?! As he walks away, he says, "I'll see you next week!" I'll be diving under my desk like it's a bad sitcom! So now, I have knots in my stomach and I can't get rid of this general feeling of icki-ness. I hope it passes soon, but I doubt it.

Permalink: nauseating_moment.html
Words: 359
Location: Sunny LA, NY

08/10/04 03:43 - ID#34942

the Violence of the Young

I read an article about Japanese children that have a problem with sudden bursts of rage. It spoke of an eleven year old girl who lured her friend, who was twelve, into an empty classroom where she slit her throat with a box cutter and then kicked her head and body while she bled to death. When she walked into the classroom all covered in blood, she said in perfect calm, "This isn't my blood". That's when they discovered the other girl's body. All of this because the girl, her friend, teased her on the internet about being chubby. And then later, the girl who killed her friend, wanted to apologize to her for what she had done, because she couldn't comprehend that by committing the deed, she had ended her friend's life. It seems that there is a serious problem among the young in Japan not comprehending the finality of such actions because they are so accustomed to just starting the game over. Psychologists also sited the fact that these children live in small, crowded apartment builidings and don't own pets so they never get the chance to learn about the finality of death at a young age.

I read this story and chilled me. It's a different society, half a world away and yet, they also have this issue with rage in their children and those children committing unspeakable acts against each other. I feel lucky that I didn't grow up in such an age, but I genuinely fear for the future with children like these on the rise. In our already war torn world, what will it become with them as adults?

Permalink: the_Violence_of_the_Young.html
Words: 275
Location: Sunny LA, NY

08/09/04 01:23 - ID#34941

Who am I?

I know I'm not the only person on Earth who seems to be a different person when I'm around different people in different circumstances. Most people are in denial about this. I just find it to be a fact of life and of survival. There are shades to me, certain things that are constant, and there are other things that only appear around certain groups of people. There's "Church" Andrea and "Work" Andrea. There's also "Outgoing" Andrea, "Introverted" Andrea, and "Bitch" Andrea. These are all aspects of my personality, but they are separate and distinct, and there are many, many shades more. For others, this can be a problem, especially when all they see of me is one of the shades, and then to see me in a different space, or shade, they have a problem with it, and suddenly, I am not who they thought, or blah, blah, blah, etc... I am who I am is the answer to that question. I suppose who I am all depends upon where I am, and what mood I am in, when you meet me.

Permalink: Who_am_I_.html
Words: 183
Location: Sunny LA, NY

07/29/04 05:36 - ID#34940

Reading list

So, no, I haven't begun "Man in the Iron Mask" like I said I would. As I perused my bookcase, I did not see it there amongst the Harry Potters, the Anne Rice- Lestat Books, Clive Barker's Abarat (which is amazing! I HIGHLY recommend!), and others previously mentioned. But, I did come across "The Treasured Writings of Khalil Gibran". My father bought it for me several Christmases ago and I never really gave it much thought, but this time, something made me pick it up. I haven't read very much of it at this point because, frankly, I've been too damned tired, but what I have read is simple sublime. Trisha, I finally get what you've been talking about all these years! It's tragic and soothing and hauntingly, amazingly beautiful. Check it out. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

Permalink: Reading_list.html
Words: 138
Location: Sunny LA, NY

07/23/04 04:54 - ID#34939

The second attempt

I'm going to attempt to begin reading the Man in the Iron Mask. I began this once before but, as it wasn't as interesting to me as the Three Musketeers, I put it down. I have to stop doing that. I've gotten into this bad habit of beginning books and not finishing them. It must end!

Permalink: The_second_attempt.html
Words: 56
Location: Sunny LA, NY