I just woke up from a nap. I had a weird dream where (e:paul) made an appearance. This is what went down.
I was hanging around with the family eating dinner. My Dad and I had a big serving. It was good. Two guests who were there wanted more. We ate something with red sauce.
Then I was running and climbing around alleys with around 3 or 4 friends. We were young people up to mischief. We encountered this man who got really mad at us and locked us in his moderately priced thrift store... forever.
The other girl and me broke down a door and made a run for it at dawn. Upon venturing into the morning sunlight, I felt nauseous and weak in the legs. My skin started turning pale pink, like the sky. We had to go back inside of the store to feel better. That man had put some sorta hex on us.
So we were in the thrift store. It's weird that the clerks didn't realize something funny was happening... maybe everyone was hexed in that store. One clerk asked me out after I'd been there for a year.
I was walking around the store one time and found this T-shirt that had a picture of president Ronald Regan shaking hands with MLK Jr. The two were circled by text that said "same values." I thought that was some crazy shit so I picked the shirt up. Then I ran into (e:paul). I gave him this look with my eyes that begged him to ask me where I'd been and why I hadn't been writing and so on... but (e:paul) was his regular old self. I even gave him the Regan/MLK t-shirt before he left.
After (e:paul) left one of the store clerks came up and told me I had to pay for the clothes I was wearing. I looked in my purse but the clothes cost 18 dollars and I felt like that was too much when compared to the money in my purse. I then took off the clothes and walked around the store in my panties and bra. (It wasn't the typical shame shame public nudity dream. I was mad.) The clerk went off to get the police and I thought "good, maybe they'll get me out of here" but in a few minutes the clerk was back like nothing had happened. Then I saw this (the older) Robert De Niro looking man checking out my ass and realized that he was probably the man who made the hex. I'm pretty sure he fancied me.



Ok, that's what I remember from that dream. Happy New Year everyone. I'm in a condo in Downtown Atlanta with Casey. He's trying to get this mattress up here and it's pouring outside. I guess I'm going to go dress up. If I need to spend my new year's eve in from on a TV watching football, I'm going to do it in style! (and get drunk)

sorry for taking off in a hurry Paul Matt and Terry. Our acclimated southern bones couldn't handle the buffalo chill... also our two fat asses in that twin bed was a tough squeeze. I'll come back and stay longer sometime cause it was good to see y'all for that brief period of time. I'll try coming on a weekend next time. The mansion is super. I think y'all should act out some role-playing S&M fantasies up in the attic cage.
I made a shitty video for the dysfunctional holiday show at Squeaky. I made it in two hours (edit, compress, burn) and it shows. Here is a link . I had to use footage already logged due to my lack of a firewire. My video was the worst in the show. The screening was short. Milbrand made an awesome sock puppet epic about the Christmas serpent. And the Kimberly person made one of her finest 3-d things that involved Santa getting a hooker with help from "a furry" the Easter bunny.
Here are a couple pics of me, Casey and the Milbrand Santa.

I'm heading for Buffalo in a few hours. It's a 7 hour drive and I hope to see some of y'all peeps out at the pink tonight. Unfortunately I don't think we can stick around long egough for Enknot's Birthday party :(. I hope I can at least show Casey a little taste of Buffalo insanity. We're going to stay with the baby-bellied Soy bean, if the cat hair doesn't drive us out. So the old pink and Korea House, those are the things I need to show Casey, that and a shitload of fantastic people.
Dang. I'm too excited to sleep. That and my menstrual cramps. Damn the full moon. (note to Terry: please don't let my menstruation freak you out. I promise to be on typical robin behavior)

We had dinner with the Lavatelli sister's earlier and I realized how lucky I was they took me in last July. Buffalo breeds good people and good friends.

tonight I went to my first strip club (I've been to the claremont lounge but that place is in a league of its own) the pink pony is a real strip joint equipped with at least 20 fine looking women. I was suckered into a couple lap dances from a hot young Gypsy named Bianca. she was one of the few with real tits. i got to feel my first fake tits. they belonged to a tall and stacked woman named Mimi. all in all it was a good night, good food at Dante's (wasn't it the 2nd level of lustful hell I'm doomed to?) on the pirate ship then on to stripper hell/heaven whatever. I'm a bit inebriated so I'll sign off now.

When I'm all down on myself you're there but when I ask bout sumptin kinda happy it's like.... where is everybody? Regardless I still miss you damn yankees, and who knows hodown, I may be coming your way... maybe. I'm about to make another video... one i promised an organization. It in memory of an action figure... Bruce. I lost him in Portland

PS
did anybody watch the maypop video? look at the little title opener i made for it.

Dagblastit
by Casey McKinney

Hung almost 5 times before bothering
to get to know you. I tend to avoid
looking at the work of people I dig.
So often the shit sucks (then there you are).
But as I told Ben today, I'm perplexed,
because the mix you have is just too much:
Country yet modern. Weird yet not crazy.
Pretty, but thankfully are not perfect.
Spent a year trying hard to gigolo,
not get snagged, sucked in, or whipped as they say,
but damnit, think you've done it. Another
Georgian too. What's up with that? Peaches
of death will grab my one good testicle.
They'll squeeze too and laugh - that's what I figure.


Sounds about right... but I can't be objective. What do you (e:strip)pers think? Does this poem stand on its on? and what's up with the not perfect? hah, I've been watching Dr. 90210 so I know quests for physical perfection are serious concerns for many folks. Some of those folks are nuts. This woman on there today wanted to have a big old diamond placed right under her skin on her arm, this on account of the fact she'd become more active and couldn't wear it all the time. Reminds me of Egyptian Pharaohs gettin' buried with all their things when they die. Somehow the burial before death seems worse. The doctor wouldn't do it so the woman just had some cellulite dug up with metal sticks. crazy.
here's a link to more of Casey's poetry. I don't like poetry an awful lot but Casey knows that.

This flower (Passiflora incarnata)



produces a fruit. I found one of these fruits in the woods yesterday, kind of strange finding fruit in November. I'd never seen this fruit before so I thought it was an exciting find. I thought it could have been lepracaun stool ( ).
My Mama called it a maypop. Apparently this plant helps with all kilnd of ailments, including sleeplessness and PMS .
I made my find into a video. It's a boring video, I guess. Kiah didn't like it. here's the link anyway

It strange that I get so excited from finding food in the woods. It makes me realize how capitalism commodifies the most basic things and makes naturally occurring things seem untrustworthy. Yes, I was afraid to eat the fruit but I did save the seeds. The pod was full of seeds. The fruit had a lime outside and a pumpkin inside.

I got fed up and walked out of the house. I wanted to go down a grown up path in the woods but Kiah followed me, a five-year-old in flip-flips. I told her to go back in the house but what is television compared with tagging along after your "crazy aunt Robin?" I worried about the briars and brambles finding their way into the open parts of the Kiah's shoes but I was determined to continue my original pursuit despite being shadowed by a child. She asked me, "Do you even know where you're going?" I looked down at my house shoe clad feet and I realized that indeed I did not. I asked her "Do you know where you are going?" She said, "Yes, I'm following you."

My Dad and Grandpa.


Grandpa with a fatter man

Welcome to the Gothic South
A picture of Grandpa's grave taken in May 1956


Same grave... with Granny added. I found this picture on my Lil cousin Taryn's myspace page.


My Granny looking younger than I've ever seen her look. She may be holding my Aunt Wink.


Wink and Dash with other mill town kids.


My Aunt Wink and Aunt Dash in 1948 I think.


Wink and Dash, my Granny made the white dress.


Mabye McGee? my Granny's brother who died on the beaches in 1944.


Aunt Wink with my Daddy, I think. Wink was in her 2nd year at Duke when her Dad died. Wink's Mom (my Granny) had a nervous breakdown and Wink moved home to help... I think. All this shit happened before me, you know?




I want to work with these images but some of them are so strong on their own, like the one of Wink and my Dad. I would really like to make this family history into a documentary but a documentary that wouldn't alienate people who arn't so affected by the stories as , oh lets say... the filmmaker. hehe
I'm not sure how old stories and old pictures affect my life but I know they have. I feel like it's something that needs to be shared in a throughtful orignal way. It's going to take work... lots of work. My two Aunts, Wink and Dash, are in poor health these days. Wink is about 80 and Dash is a little younger.

It was weird finding a box of my Granny's things. I found her old costume jewelry and it brought up a memory sharp as a knife. When I was a child I loved more than anything, to ramble. I would get in trouble with my Mama for going through every cupboard and drawer I could reach.
Now one day I was going through my Granny's costume Jewelry. My Granny doted on me an my sister so it wasn't a big deal, until... I came across this necklace.



I decided that the locket was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen so I promptly went into the living room and asked my Granny if I could have it after she died. This was good logic on my part because I figured no one would want to part with such a lovely trinket while they were living. My dear old Granny didn't see it that way. I can't remember what she said I just know she was pissed off. I learned that is is not considerate to remind elderly people of their impending death, no matter how much you crave a certain commodity.

The moral delima now is... do I take the locket?
look here how my Granny adored me.

I was just reading a job call for someone to teach Transformative Language Arts at Goddard College. I've VERY interested in the job, more so than any other post I've read about but I'm not sure if I'm what they're looking for.
Thanks to all of you for the job advice. the quarterlifecrisis.com site made me feel a bit better about my situation. but Vincent I can't really borrow a book when I'm in Georgia!
back to Transformative Language Arts, I wonder if my involvement in this site could count toward that. I've been participating in this Transformative Language Arts project for quite a while. I hope some of the things I write are at least a little insightful. I do enjoy oral history and I've tried to make use of it with this video and this one I don't think they help to change society much... more so they reflect on it. Guess I'm not there yet.
I'm planning on scanning tonight. I found my long departed Granny's old photo album. I'd like to work with the images by incorporating them in with modern day video of her old mill town. I was looking at the pictures of my nieces from Halloween the other night and thinking about how much documentation has changed since the first half of the 20th century. maybe I'll post a few images later tonight.