Girl Objects
I haven't been making any work lately and I think it's because I'm sick of myself. There are things going on in my mind and everything but they're not coming to conclusions.
Last night when I was trying to sleep I thought about an experience I'd had earlier in the day while plant watering. I stopped outside the Sunoco to refill my water buffalo. I was sitting along a short wall smoking and a Sunoco employ sat around 9 feet away on the same wall. We both just sat there smoking our cigarettes watching the passing traffic. It was slightly awkward, I felt like I should say "nice weather we're having" or something like that but I was feeling introverted so I just enjoyed the silent shitty job comradeship.
A man came out of the gas station and addressed my fellow smoker by saying "Just out here enjoying the scenery eh, huhuh." When he said scenery he looked directly at me with good natured smile. I'm sure at the time I just smiled back but lying in my bed later on in the night I replayed this incident in my head and it disturbed me. I don't want to be a woman object. I'd rather just be a plain old object without thoughts, feelings, and emotions and all that bullshit if old funny guys are going to throw me in the object category anyway.
Last night when I was trying to sleep I thought about an experience I'd had earlier in the day while plant watering. I stopped outside the Sunoco to refill my water buffalo. I was sitting along a short wall smoking and a Sunoco employ sat around 9 feet away on the same wall. We both just sat there smoking our cigarettes watching the passing traffic. It was slightly awkward, I felt like I should say "nice weather we're having" or something like that but I was feeling introverted so I just enjoyed the silent shitty job comradeship.
A man came out of the gas station and addressed my fellow smoker by saying "Just out here enjoying the scenery eh, huhuh." When he said scenery he looked directly at me with good natured smile. I'm sure at the time I just smiled back but lying in my bed later on in the night I replayed this incident in my head and it disturbed me. I don't want to be a woman object. I'd rather just be a plain old object without thoughts, feelings, and emotions and all that bullshit if old funny guys are going to throw me in the object category anyway.