oh my god! I hate PCs.
A woman gave me a free small latte with a double shot of espresso and an oatmeal cookie. That made me feel better than anything else all night/day. I mean the 4 dollars is kind of meaningless. It was just a sweet thing for a stranger to do.

I'm annoyed with courtney because she always goes out with these people who work at the bitter end pub but doesn't invite me along because the "after hours" places are for special people and in their eyes I'm not. When I was 8 years old I played softball. After a game one day I went to the pizza place with my Mama. There was my whole team celebrating the birthday of one of my teammates, Melissa. She was teribbly embarassed to see me there and came up and said her Mama would only let her invite so many people. Suprisingly enough Courtney and Melissa were friends. What is it with cliques? I'm 25 years old for christ's sake and totally wealthy in cultural capital but these bitter barflies sure don't give a shit. It hurts to be excluded but makes my parent's couch look that much better. What I really want is to go back to New York state where "after hours" is neverever at 2 in the morning. (WIKIPEDIA - last call) but hey in Neveda there is no closing time Berlin to for that matter.

I have a bizzarre sleeping pattern. I woke up at 1 am last night and have been awake since. I went to buy a pack of smokes, called Courtney a million times and she didn't answer. Which was unfortunate because that meant I was locked out. I went to "the bitter" around 1:50 and they had already locked the doors. I saw a bunch of Courtney's bar friends and got them to open the door and one of them said Courtney was with Rose(a young blonde bartender with a harsh mouth and sullen demeanor) so the guy called Rose and she amazingly enough answered her phone. She said something bitchy that I didn't hear but could see on the guys face. Then he hung up told me where they were and said Courteny would call me.

I started waking downtown toward the strip club where "after hours" is held. Courtney called and said that she would leave the keys with the bouncer. I told her I'd appriciate that and hung up. Then she called back and said she'd come out. I walked down one street too far and there were all these bums around. One man started walking with me but stopped after I told him where I was going. One woman asked for some money after I told her good evening.

Then I passed by a fierce looking woman with GIANT saggy boobs. She was standing by a man. As is customary with me I glanced in her eyes as I passed by. I realized I'd walked to far and turned around. Then boobs woman started talking shit to me about how I was after her man. She threaned to punch me. I walked away and she walked behind me (to close) telling me to wait. I've been mugged before and I knew this woman was the same kind of crazy. I started running and screaming "leave me alone you crazy bitch." She laughed at me but didn't follow (like her fat ass could have caught up with me.) Then the woman I passed eairlerr asked if boobs was going on about her man again and said "come here honey" but I kept walking.

I found the place and there were two people who I'd just seen 15 minutes eairler at "the bitter." thanks for the ride assholes! Some singer named Risky was there. I'd met him before and I liked him but I was in a freaked out pissed off mood by then so his "calm down everything is great" bullshit only served to make me more annoyed. Although i tried to mask it. Courtney came out and gave me the keys, acting all lovely wanting a kiss but I've got to tell ya. all I could think about how gracious Anna Lavatelli seems compared with Courtney. It's not fair to compare subjective beings but I can't help it sometimes. So I walked to Roxy's diner glowering and feeling sorry for my lonely self.

Then at the diner some guy came up to me and told me "you've got great hair" and asked where I get it done. He told me to come sit with him if I wanted to have a converrsation. I was in a pissy mood and told him I needed to think about things. I played the addams family theme song and thought about how i miss Dr. Know. Then I went back to the apartemnt and started watching a shitty movie. Courtney showed up with Adam, the 22 yr old barback from "the bitter" in tow.

They sat there and played chess untill 6 in the morning. Adam is a mumbler. His voice reminds me of Keith Hesson but he does not have any of Keith's necked dance party charisma. There will be no tricking Harrington into sniffing Adam's necked balls.

On a happier note. Last week Arzu sent me a picture from a year or so ago. It's me, her, Tony and Joe Gibbon's at the Lenox Hotel painting with gun powder.