This is one of my favorite memories from my Apt in Atlanta. It was the first apartment I'd ever had to myself. I had lived there for about a month or so. I was 20 and had just started my junior year at the Atlanta College of Art. I was in a sound class with one of my favorite teachers this crazy old man named, Nolan who doesn't have teeth and wears all black every say. He is way cool. Back to the memory, it must have been September. Everything was still green outside and the air was hot and humid. I was sleeping one Saturday morning when I was awakened by the distant sound of a marching band. I got up and opened up my window and looked out of it to the street (I lived right where Peachtree and w. Peachtree connect) I didn't see anything but the music was getting closer and closer. I put my tape recorder on the window seal. Eventually a parade appeared in the street. I have no idea why there was a parade that day but I found it to be a most cheerful event.
Why do marching band uniforms look so funny? My oldest brother (he is 11 years older) was in the marching band in high school. As a tiny child I would go to high school football games with my Mom. I never watched the football games because they were boring. I kind of liked the cheerleaders because they sang, danced and threw mini footballs to the crowd. The half-time show was the best. I guess I was very proud of my brother Scott and his tuba or trombone (he played both) maybe this is why the surreal experience of waking up to a parade passing through the front yard or front street was so pleasurable for me.

This is my sweetheart loverboy. I like him so much, why did I leave him in Atlanta 900 miles away? Oh well, at least I have his picture. He pisses me off so bad sometimes but ya know, I love him! Andy where are you right now?

It seems stupid so I like it! I've still gotta think up a title. I hate labeling things especially so early on here's a few testers

the manifest projection of a superior Spirit

Geometry as a Sacred Pursuit

free vagina torture pictures for everyone over 18

blood of their hosts

lame commercial adulteration

"slack" and "tension"

or

parable one



I like nudity but I'm not sure how to deal with it, It's awkward. Why can people not be comfortable in there skin? Nakedness is totally cool but most people are all, eww that's nasty but what if you invited me over to a cup of tea and I decided to just come necked or something. That actually sounds fun. hmmm Just because, think about it, how would you deal with that? I think most people may enjoy a stunt like that. It would be socially awkward. It's damn hard to find people who are willing to be freaky on the camera but i did it. Thanks coconspirators!

I shot the story earlier in the evening. I play joette and re is Billy Jo and tack is Leroy but i never told them their names and I sure as heck didn't have a script. I busted it up into shots of performances. I had a few things planned but the unplanned stuff is fun. I've got editing to do. If this things turns out I'll put it in the love and sex thing at squeaky wheel.

I'm scared of this video but I may as well just spit it out already because I want to use Baubo for another video. Who is Baubo? It is the Greek goddess of obscenity and belly laughter. It has no head it's nipples are it's eyes and it's vagina is it's mouth.
I want to make a music video next. I just want Baubo to sing something spiritual for us. Oh, Lord!

Don't do anything but lay around. Don't get dressed. Don't do the things people ask you to. Don't take a shower. Do eat some food. Do listen to some music. Do smoke if you wanna. Do allow your mind to wander of to distant points of interest.

Ladies who don't mind shaving their twats and painting their torso and letting me get a wide open beaver shot with breast included ... or two guys who don't mind getting into a shower together necked, hugging, making eggs, oh, and recording obnoxious sex noises through the walls.

yep, so nice but i still get bored.

Matthew suggested that I make this offer in ejaculation training. I taught myself to ejaculate after watching an instructional video a couple summers ago. It's more difficult than it looks. It comes easier to some than others. It took me an entire jobless summer of intensive masturbation to get it right. It is all about pressure on the G-spot. I've successfully ejaculated about 4 or 5 times. I haven't perused it after my initial elation at ejaculation success because for me its not simultaneous with orgasm so it doesn't seem worth the effort. I'd rather just have a clitoral orgasm. I have ejaculated with my partners a couple times. One guy said it felt like a warm water hose on his dick. I thought that was nice. Don't worry about stains or anything like that (my current guy friend was a little freaked out when I went all over the couch). Female ejaculation is basically water, I know, I've smelled to make sure. So if you've ever been a bit envious of the boys who are shooting grosseoso sperms out the end of their dicks all the time, fret no longer for a lady's ejaculation possibilities are full of endless potential!

I've had the lovely experience this week to be able to attend two parties two nights in a row. The first being Paul's birthday party which was great but I fell out of line to quickly from lack of sleep and intake of drink and smoke so by one in the morning I was ready to pass out. Sorry guys, I can usually hang but your partes put me under the table fast. It was strange to meet people who you know because of an online journal. The apartment was so nice with all the food and drinks and the tortoise, it was a comfortable environment, I'd say a bit more intellectually stimulating in a communication way that the second event I'm about to write about.
Last night my friend Keith im'd me to as if I wanted to go observe a fraternity/sority mixer. The party house near south campus was a complete wreck by the end of the party. Its a shame because it's such a nice house. Some kid went crazy after doing keg stands and threw the keg into the wall, while running around topless. He regressed into a primitive state, I've seen it happen to many a young boy. It was a bit scary. The music was so fucking loud and typical. At least they had an OutKast song or two. Everyone was so young. I love that. I'm turning into a dirty old woman at the ripe old age of 22.
In Atlanta my little art school didn't have these fraternity/sority organizations so I've recently become somewhat fascinated by the idea and I'm very upset that I can't be in a fraternity. It's not that I don't like girls its just that it is easier for me to spend longer amounts of time with guys. All the boys get so defensive when I question them about a membership. I am truly disturbed by the idea of gender segregation and that's really what it is, an idea because if the frat guys of sorority girls have a choice I think they are spending a lot of time with each other so I just don't understand. I want to start my own fraternity ... or not. I don't know. I want a movement to happen and not just a movement in someone's pants. I want something that effects their minds and if that affects their pants contents that's OK i just want everything God damn it!

I started hearing all these scary roomers that Matthew was missing or dead. Kristin
eventually called to confirm these rumors. I called the police to find out exactly what happened.
Matthew’s parents let him drive back to Georgia in early January 2002. He told them he was going to talk to two thugs and Robin. He found the thugs first. Matthew was missing for almost a month before they found his body. One of thugs/boys who strangled Matthew confessed after he was found injured in Matthew’s stolen car. The cops went out to the woods after that and dug up Matthew’s body.
Whenever drugs are involved with tragedies
its immediately dismissed as acceptable in someway. Some people have a difficult time adjusting to this earthly existence.
I’ve had multiple dreams involving Matthew since he died. One dreams starts out on the
front porch of my parents house. I’m looking out into the yard and I see a lawn chair in the distance. Matthew’s corpse is in the chair. I run down to the chair and as I come to the chair the corpse transforms into a little boy and we’re by the ocean. The boy is drawing pictures
and he hands his picture to me. It says “I love you.”