Off to better news...who cares about the last post. I'm so over sadness! Anyways, it sounds like my summertime employment demands are going to be met. I'm doing a couple of weeks worth of work at $9/hr in a summer home in Canada. I wonder if this will make me a house boy? Originally I was offered $8/hr, but I was thinking $10 and he agreed to meet me in the middle. Nice, I like bargaining. For something more permanent, I want to work for the New York State Smokers Quit Line at Roswell. I'm pretty sure that I would be perfect for the job and it would be great to do something meaningful rather than something robotic and meaningless.

Sometimes it's hard not to be sad, not because your depressed, but because there are lots of reasons to be sad. There are many people that have depression that may at one time or another need medication (hopefully not forever). I wonder how many people are using medication because they are suffering from real problems or distress and not for some physiological reason? We need medication, but how often is it being used for real and natural sadness?
Occasionally I find myself overwhelmed by sadness. I know, however, that there isn't any pill to cure it. I mean, how can we not be sad from time to time? Crying seems to be healthy (not all the time), I wish I could do it more.

Yesterday my friend Julie took me out to eat for my birthday at Brodo. As we were walking to the restaurant two men were coming our way and stared at us as we walked passed them. The first guy had real dark sun glasses and it freaked us out, cause we had no idea where he was staring, but we knew he was. When we walked by the second guy he was clearly staring down at my shoes or my crotch. It was weird cause afterwards we both agreed that we had never felt so violated by the way someone had looked at us before. It was as if we were visually raped we agreed.

We continue on now only to have a group of teenage boys on bikes coming towards us. One of them (I didn't know this at the time) punched Julie in the arm as he rode passed her. The other spit directly into my face at the same time. Of course they are on bikes because they are cowards and they ride away. I shout "You are not going to get away with that!" Another teenager on a bike pedals by racing to get to the group and I yell "I hope those aren't your friends!" Of course I was angry, and I had violent thoughts (I'm not a Saint), but now I am just filled with sadness over the boys lives and how horrible it must be. They must really be suffering to behave with such disregard and disrespect for others.

So I am just sad, but I can't take a pill to make it go away. I'm sad that some people no matter how much you might want them to, just don't care about anything. Not that we all have to care about the same things, but shouldn't we all at least care about something? It is the people who do not care, the people whose only concern is their image, their status or their class that make me the saddest. On that note, here are some visuals that make me sad.


Hardcore Polluter!!! YEAH!



ENVUS

---

YES! I THINK SO. How else to explain it?

ENVY-Painful or resentful awareness of anther's advantages.




Here is an image that made me happy yesterday after I went home, took a shower and went back down Elmwood to enjoy our meal.

In front of Unitarian Church on Elmwood. I love religious organizations that are concerned with peace.

We have to make ourselves heard. We have to speak out for what we believe in. When we, the people, boldly state our true convictions--never losing our optimism or sense of humor--the times will change. When it comes to speaking out for justice, there isn't any need for restraint. On the contrary, to be reserved or hesitant under such circumstances is wrong.

-Soka Gakkai International (Buddhist Organization) President Daisaku Ikeda

I thought I would share this quote with you all. I deeply admire Daisaku Ikeda for many reasons. He is always warning us to speak out against corruption, and to always be vigilant in that our religious and political leaders do not abuse their power. Ikeda has many great words of wisdom.

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!

Thanks to (e:ladycroft) and her post 'Hell for Chickens", the guy in the devil costume standing in front of KFC on 666 and (e:paul) for making (e:strip), I have decided to give up eating animals. Actually, I started to do a little research on KFC and came upon meat.org After watching the great video they had on the site as well as some of the ones posted on kentuckyfriedcruelty.com I made up my mind.

So I made the very personal decision to stop contributing to the problem of animal abuse. At this time, I will give up all meat excluding fish. I think that for me personally this is better than going all the way. Yes, the dairy industry is part of the problem, but I am not willing to change my diet that drastically. They say that each person eats up to a 100 animals annually. Many issues seem so distant and I often wonder what can I do, but this one is so obviously within my control.

I'm a bit nervous about this, because meat is really part of our culture. For many of us, meat is part of family holidays and a regular part of our social gatherings. Despite my fears about living without eating animals, I'm kind of excited to do this. I know that there are some of you out there ((e:leetee)) that are veggies or have done it in the past so if you know of any good hints or websites let me know.

(e:hodown) these pics are for you.








And finally here is a News Release I found on PETA's website regarding our devil friend.

'SATAN' TO VISIT BUFFALO KFC ON 6/6/06


'Prince of Darkness' Takes KFC's Side in Dispute With PETA, Celebrates KFC's Creation of 'Hell on Earth' for Chickens

For Immediate Release:
June 5, 2006

Contact:
Chris Link 757-622-7382

Buffalo, N.Y. - Holding signs that read, "KFC: Hell for Chickens," PETA members, including an activist dressed as Satan, will "celebrate" KFC's Satanic treatment of the more than 850 million chickens raised and killed for KFC every year. The demonstration will take place at a KFC in Buffalo on Tuesday:

Date: Tuesday, June 6
Time: 11 a.m.
Place: KFC, 448 Elmwood Ave.

Why does PETA think that Colonel Sanders is the devil? KFC's suppliers drug and breed chickens to grow so large that many become crippled from the weight of their massive upper bodies. Chickens in KFC's slaughterhouses often have their throats slit while they are still conscious, and many are scalded to death in defeathering tanks. So far, KFC has turned a deaf ear to pleas to improve its animal welfare standards from high-profile PETA supporters, including Pamela Anderson, Sir Paul McCartney, and The Rev. Al Sharpton. KFC has even ignored the advice of its own animal welfare advisors, including five who have since resigned out of frustration.

"The way that KFC treats chickens is truly sadistic," says PETA Manager of Factory Farming Campaigns Matt Prescott. "If KFC employees abused cats or dogs the way they abuse chickens, they could be thrown into prison on felony charges of cruelty to animals."

PETA has been turning up the heat on KFC, holding more than 10,000 protests outside KFC restaurants around the globe.

For more information, please visit PETA's Web site KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

So (e:mike) and I went to see The Omen. I never saw the original because I never really was allowed to see ANYTHING when I was younger, so i missed out on years of horror flicks. It even seemed worth the $9, which normally I think is a bit excessive. Movie makers need to know that blood and gore don't necessarily make a great film, it's all about the story. The Omen is a great story, they make it believable and don't buy the audience with cheap scares.

Anyways, when I'm at movies I love the way people react to it and love listening to the things they say. Some people went to the opening night of the Omen, 666, completely fucked up and laughed rather hard at weird moments, which eventually made the entire theater join in. But maybe I am the fucked up one, cause I laughed when others didn't laugh at all.

The one thing I would ask for is a different Damien, he just wasn't evil enough.


Do you think it's damaging to a child to play a demonic role in a movie? What about to let them attend the movie itself? Is that damaging? The truth was that the movie scared me in the way I like to be scared. Not in the sick and disgusting way that Hostel scared me.

The Beautiful Colors of Pride

On Sunday, June 4, 2006 I marched for the fourth consecutive year with The Soka Gakkai International (SGI) a worldwide Buddhist group striving for peace and happiness. The Buffalo chapter of the SGI is admired throughout the organization including New York City and San Francisco for their amazing ability to unite and show the community the values we stand for. Every year we have faced adversity and been shown signs of resistance and hate. I'm happy to say that this year was the best, in that messages of hate were at a minimum. The first year that we marched was 2003 and a much larger group seething with hatred immediately bombarded us. They were taken by surprise by an overwhelming opposing message of happiness and respect for others. In Buddhism we make our lives more aware of the nature of cause and effect and I truly believe that our organization has had a positive affect on this city. That first year we took all of Buffalo by surprise, as we were the largest contingent in the parade! This year we were awarded best walking contingent!

Today, June 5, 2006, I was deeply saddened to hear the president address the people of our country with his own message of hate. He is using the GLBT community for political purposes. Recently, it has become a crime to protest at US military funerals. I think that is great, people should have the right to grieve in peace, but shouldn't the same right be awarded to those grieving at a GLBT funeral? He packed the room where the address took place with supporters of his agenda to make a Constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriages, not allowing for the many who disagree with such a ban for their voices to be heard. In the front row, two black men sat applauding the president's speech. The president claimed that the majority of the country's people supported defining marriage as a union between one man and one woman. Since we live in a 'free' society congress should ratify the amendment to the Constitution. Would those black men sit there and applaud the President if he were asking for an amendment to the Constitution denying citizenship and freedom to black men because the majority of the people wanted to enslave them? Is that freedom?

For next year's Pride Parade, I would like to propose that Pride Buffalo open up the march to all who would like to participate regardless of whether they associate with a group or not. We need everyone who supports the GLBT community to march especially the members of that community. We still have not reached equality and the Pride Movement is still as important as the day it began. It's time for all of us to unite together at the parade and demand our freedom.

Libertad

Enjoy the photos!

Thanks for marching with us (e:ladycroft) and Dan!

This is a bad pic of Jennifer. She didn't march with us, but I think she supports our group



Wendy

Maimi




Isabel

Jane

Andrew

Mike

Jeanette and Mike

Jeanette's mother

Steve

Beauty Queens

Supporter



Buddhist Messages

Colors of Diversity

Beautiful Day

United

Marching Band



Steve made his shirt

SGI member representing Canada

Jay



Beat to a different drum

Lisa

Blue is from 2003, yellow 2004 and Red 2005. The three colors are the colors of the SGI

Star Power

What a smile!

Michael

Christina

Families supporting

Kim, Moonjung, and Wendy

Mitzi

Jennifer

Bidwell

Lisa







We won!

Love

Performance

Estrip Models

So call me a commie bastard, but yes I do hate big business. They are destroying the beauty of this country, not to mention what they are doing abroad. Why did I focus on Wal-Mart? The answer is because Wal-Mart covers their business practices up with excessive false patriotism. I find this ridiculous and a slap in the face to our intelligence. Patriotism is not about waving a flag around a reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, it's about doing what is right for your country and for it's future. A patriotic company isn't just concerned with the bottom line, but for the environment in which it operates, the welfare of its employees and the image they are portraying of their country. I do not criticize people for shopping at Wal-Mart. How could I criticize someone for trying to get the cheapest price when people are struggling to pay their rent, their heat etc. I criticize Wal-Mart because they are the most visible and they deserve every bit of negative publicity they get. They dehumanize their employees by making them wear ugly blue smocks that say "How May I help You." At least if you work at Target you can retain at least some shred of dignity. (Please don't hate me if you work at Wal-Mart) I could go on and on about this and that about this company or that, but I will save my breath. There is plenty of information available to those who want to find out why Wal-Mart or any other company out there sucks. They may teach in business school why a particular company is considered a perfect business model, but maybe they should teach a thing or two to future business leaders about compassion.

Word on the street is that Lon Coldiron, owner of Coffee &, was found guilty of insurance fraud after he burned it down. He wasn't convicted of arson, but insurance fraud? How can this be? I wanted to testify against him, but the investigators never contacted me even after I made an attempt to contact them. He faces 8-12 years of pound you in the ass prison. Good you stupid fuck.

Lon,

You are so selfish. I truly think you deserve your fate, not only for this, but for all the terrible things you have done. It is my hope that you have ample time to think of all the people you have used in your life. When I saw that beautiful house completely destroyed on my way to school in the fall of 2004, my most immediate concern was for your safety, because I knew that you lived in the attic, which was practically non-existent after you torched it. There was a look of absolute horror as I drove by that morning. I thought oh no, it finally happened, an electrical fire. See, if I knew that you had insurance, I would have thought that you had done it right away, but I didn't learn that until later. I got out of the car practically in tears; I thought that you could be dead. Why did I even care about you then? What have you ever done for me? You stole my tips, you left me alone to work, and when I was finally assaulted because I was working alone, you couldn't come to help me because you were in Niagara Falls gambling. You used Nikki as if she were disposable, pillaging her retirement, working her to death as you sat on your big fat ass. You sexually harassed me, as if I were some cheap whore that would have sex with you for money or so that I could become a manager like I would really be moving up in the world. Have you always been like this Lon? Did you ever have any morals, any decency?

That was not your house to burn down! It was part of Elmwood, part of history. You stole that from us. That house was not Coffee &, it was not yours! I have heard so many people tell stories about their experiences in that house. A couple came in once, they were so happy. They told me that they had gotten engaged there when it was previously a restaurant, can't remember which one. Christina Ricci supposedly vomited there all over the clown face mosaic on the floor. Oh my, that clown was evil looking wasn't it? I remember when I would close at night, in the beginning; there was one single light above the clown face that never shut off. That was until you couldn't afford to replace the light bulb. Everything would be dark after closing except that clown. If you stood on the clown's face you could see yourself in the mirror with that one single light shinning down on you. I loved that! I never had a run in with the ghosts that occupied that building, but I knew there was something there. I wonder what has happened to them? Do they haunt Cecilia's stupid patio now?

You did not pay your sales taxes; you did not know how to run a business. You made everyone else pay, because you are fat and lazy. I met someone very special in that house. He was so cute...Mocha Jet Café Please! There were lots of special people I met there, including the guy who made the mosaic clown. I hope that the dog you loved so much that you killed in the fire haunts you in your sleep. Really more than anything I just want you to be sorry, to finally take responsibility in your life and to apologize to the people that you have hurt so badly. You let all those people raise money for you after the fire, because you are not a man.

Libertad

If anyone has any photos of the house please post them! Maybe someday I'll find out his address in prison and send this to him.

I happened upon this blog by accident. It's in Spanish, but you don't have to read it. The videos this guy has are a diverse collection of different bands that I though different (e:peeps) might enjoy. They are from utube.com, which I'm really starting to get into. If you have some time, check a few of them out. He also posted some nice photographs.

One of my favorites is dated "jueves, Mayo 25, 2006" title "Si pudiera decirle a Tim" it's called "Corpse Bride Duet"
Libertad