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Last Visit 2014-03-23 15:37:05 |Start Date 2004-06-01 03:27:57 |Comments 37 |Entries 282 |Images 5 |Theme |

06/08/05 02:52 - ID#35049

Not a high maintanence kind of girl

I have come to that conclusion. Maybe I ought to clarify because I don't think I'm high-maintanence in the traditional definition of the term. I can't be bothered to get my hair done every six weeks. Getting a regular trim is too much like work! I do have fake nails, because I'm an incessant nail biter and I can't grow my own to save my life, however, I cannot stand having to go every two weeks to get them done. I both love and hate it. I feel absolutely decadent and it's really relaxing but I hate having to do it. It makes me crazy. Maybe I'm just like Sally in "When Harry Met Sally" when Harry tells her that she's the worst kind, she's high maintanence but she thinks she's low maintanence. I, however, do not order things on the side. Anyway. There's my thought of the day.
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06/07/05 11:10 - ID#35048

My surprise

Sometimes, life is just too comedic. I've always said that God has a sense of humour, a rather twisted, questionable sense of humour, but one none the less. This evening, I went to Trisha and Paulnotpaul's new place which is off of Hertel. Yes, they have had to move to Parkside as a result of the advent of the sproglet. It's a lovely place. Anyway, whilst there, Trisha informed me that she had a surprise for me. Actually, we were walking to Kosta's as the time, but that is neither here nor there. So, after food, I was attempting to help them unpack some things and such when she exclaimed, "Oh! Your surprise!" and then ran off. When she returned, she dangled a very familiar red and black object before- my wallet that has a strap that slips over one's wrist that I lost that fateful night of her bachelorette party. Those of you that were there, know the time we had and might possibly remember that I was drunk off my ass. Not only was I drunk off my ass, but I was drunk off my ass in a black wig! Good times! Okay, okay, I digress again! So, the wallet that I remembered tossing on her loveseat in the front room in a drunken haze at about 4:30 in the morning was no where to be seen! The next only natural assumption was that it was lost somewhere on Allen St. And yet, there it was all of the time, hidden in the folds of fabric on her loveseat! I feel somewhat vindicated but also like I've lost a good drinking story. Or did I gain another story? I think it might be both. All I could do was laugh when I saw it tonight. What else was there to do? Madness. At least I now have that 20-odd dollars and various forms of ID back, including my Buff State ID when I ridiculously short, copper red hair! I am so glad that I have that back! Good night, fair E-strippers!
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06/07/05 03:15 - ID#35047

:/

I think I'm beginning to like someone that I'm not sure I'm supposed to and I don't know how I feel about this. And I mean Really like! This sucks!
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06/06/05 02:51 - ID#35046

Not so different afterall.

After reading Jason's last post, I am reminded of just how similar the problems of men and women really are! Jason, your story is the male version of mine. I have a tendency to keep myself so separated and apart from the whole dating thing, I don't even know what I'm doing and I do it for the very same reasons as you, minus the whole girlfriend's mouth thing, of course. Let me tell you, you get mired there for so long, you get to the point where you are so comfortable with telling yourself that there's no point as he (in my case, "she" in your's) will just shoot you down anyway so you might at well not even try. You begin to think that you are doomed to be alone forever. (God, I'm depressing myself!) Take heart! Talk to that girl! You will regret if you don't. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience.
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06/06/05 11:59 - ID#35045

Ha!

Okay, I just saw a nun with permed hair!
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06/05/05 05:02 - ID#35044

Finding my voice

A few posts ago or so, I wrote how I've been suffering under a pretty severe case of writer's block, where I really have no new ideas, a terrifying situation for someone who constantly came up with something, anything! just to get past whatever was making me stuck. Today, I think I realized that the thing that has been making me stuck is Me. I was blaming it on work and how much I hate it and that I'm constantly tired and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but the truth of the matter is- It's Me. An idea hit me today, and it was powerful enough for me to sit down at my computer and just start writing, just start to get those first few paragraphs down. Once I got so tired I had to stop, because writing is very draining for me, I went and looked at something that I had begun prior to my going to England and was astounded to see that what I was writing, in principle, was the same. In fact, I can take the voice from the one and stick it in my new one and it will still manage to work, that is how similar they are. The theme in both of my new stories is very simple. It is me being honest with me, breaking down what has really been going on in my heart and my head and my hormones and just saying, "Hey! Wake up! You're a beautiful person! Step out of the prison you have created for yourself and LEAP!"
Don't know if I'm there yet, but I would like to be. I think just facing it and being honest and saying that I deserve the best of everything and to stop being what the hell I have been is a pretty big first step. I somehow have to find the strength to leap, even it's just across a crack in the pavement.
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06/02/05 08:26 - ID#35043

Good Girl Wars

It's a war that I wage inside of myself. I am, I am almost loathe to admit it but it's so disgustingly obvious, a Good Girl. Pretty much, I am the definition of what a good girl is- I don't sleep around, go to church most Sundays, drink to excess only on specific occasions, dress prettily - I LOVE to dress prettily! Period pieces are even better, my current fav. being that whole fifties thing of flowy skirts, pointy high heeled shoes and softly curled hair- but I digress- I am who I am and I discovered when I was in NYC that I really and truly am such a woman, but there are times when it just kind of sucks! I get so tired of it all, of everything, but I think, quite frankly, as all of my various worlds are in an uproar, that this new wanting to not be the girl next door most likely has something to do with it. Then again, it could just very well be hormones. Damned if I know anymore. Actually, do I even care which it might be? I don't think I do. I think I need some corrupting. Hmmm... God knows I won't have time once grad. school starts this fall. I'm off to dance suggestively to my new Stereophonics c.d. Ciao.
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06/01/05 10:11 - ID#35042

Vagabond Faerie Returns


image
Me in Stratford, good Ol' Shakespeare country!
There are more, many, many more but as per usual I'm having technical difficulties. I'm also having spelling difficulties thanks to two glasses of wine. I had such a marvelous time! Damn, I hate work! I shall try to post more pictures at a later date. Right now, I'm shattered!
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05/09/05 10:52 - ID#35041

singles and U.K.

Today as I was coming home from work, I was walking down Electric Avenue (cue music) and I spotted all of these singles on the ground- two or three folded clumps and a singleton. I looked around to see if anyone was near and then picked them up. I felt guilty, thinking that someone probably needs them but there was no one around to ask. I admit it. I put them in my pocket and continued on after thinking about what I should do. After a few blocks and many hundred of feet, I pulled them out of my pocket and counted. $22- singles, just laying on the ground. It's many hours and I still feel somewhat bad after I try to comfort myself with the fact that they were laying there and anyone else would have picked them up and how many times in my lifetime have I dropped money that someone else picked up and on and on it goes.

I'm leaving on Friday. My plane for NY takes off at five and my flight from JFK takes off at 9:30 p.m. I'll be landing at Heathrow at about ten to nine U.K. time on Saturday, which means in Buffalo time it'll be ten to 4 in the morning. I can't believe it. My head is spinning and I haven't even begun to pack, which is so very unlike me. It's the first time in 6 years that I've been in England. In my entire life, I have never gone this long without going to England to see my family. I've missed so much. Wish me luck and a bon voyage. Wish me safety and prosperous journey. I doubt I'll be able to post whilst I'm away. I'll have to jot a bit before I leave. I am sure I shall.
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Permalink: singles_and_U_K_.html
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05/04/05 12:57 - ID#35040

Romantic musings

Lately, I've been thinking. Not a big surprise. I think a great deal, actually, but lately I've been thinking about, and wondering, if my being a romantic is a good thing or a detriment. I truly believe in love. I truly believe that there IS someone out there for everyone, maybe even particular people at particular stages in our lives, but that that love is out there. But for me, in my life, believing what I do, I often get very sad about it all. I see my friends, who seemingly have found what I'm seeking and I feel like I'll be alone forever. Is there anything worse than that feeling? The logical, rational side of my brain says, "But you have your friends and so you're not alone!" but I still feel alone in the way that I wish to be part of a pair. I watch the ducks on Smoke's Creek and see them in pairs and can't help but smile and feel that that is what we are all seeking. But is it something we should actively seek? I'm not actually, actively seeking anything but that momentum is there, propelling me foward, thinking, "Is He the one? Could he love me for who I am?" I hate asking myself that question. Frankly, I am tired of it. But still I believe. It's part of who I am I suppose. I am a romantic. I am also becoming jaded. It's the jaded thing with which I'm really taking issue. And round and round it goes in my head. Where is stops, no one knows. And so continues my dramedy.
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