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Last Visit 2014-03-23 15:37:05 |Start Date 2004-06-01 03:27:57 |Comments 37 |Entries 282 |Images 5 |Theme |

06/24/04 05:26 - ID#34926

"My Angel Guarded Bed..."

"Once a dream did weave a shade o'er my angel guarded bed..." William Blake.

It's a line from a poem, long ago forgotten by me, and yet that line stays, forever etched in my conciousness. Parts of that poem still reverberate, fragmented, split apart by too much other stuff and nonsense. I can't put it all together to make it whole. But that line forever stays fresh. Most likely because to me, that is such a beautiful sentiment. "Once a dream did weave a shade o'er my angel guarded bed." May all our beds be guarded by angels.
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Permalink: _quot_My_Angel_Guarded_Bed_quot_.html
Words: 98
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/24/04 11:56 - ID#34925

Childlike joy

There's something so wonderful about childlike joy. It's an obvious thing, I know, but it is so rare that I actually get to give into it anymore. When I worked as a tutor for Americorps, I could give into it more regularly. You can when your work day consists of working with Kindergarteners through fifth graders. Today, actually right now, I'm in the midsts of a rubberband shoot out with my co-workers 10 yearold son. It's bring your child to work day so she brought her son. We're in a detante right now because there is a customer in the building. As soon as that person is gone, however, it is ON! Wherever you are today, see if you can do something similar.
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Permalink: Childlike_joy.html
Words: 122
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/23/04 04:00 - ID#34924

Funny little habit

I have a funny little habit at my job, actually at both jobs. When someone hands me their license, I look at their birthdate and mentally note what astrological sign they are and if they have a birthday that is the same as anyone I know. The man I just waited on, for example, is a Cancer with the same birthdate as my uncle. I do this all of the time. I suppose it's just me and my useless information thing kicking in again. Does anyone else do this?
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Permalink: Funny_little_habit.html
Words: 89
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/23/04 10:39 - ID#34923

Language

In the Philharmonic Chorus, we are going to be singing "Carmen" at Artpark this summer. (For those of you interested, July 16 and 17.) This is a particular challenge for me, not only because it is a very difficult piece to sing and I am a horrendous music reader and, thus, must learn everything by ear, but the language is what is really killing me. I have to confess that I am one of those Americans that can only speak English (although I can speak English English and American English!). I took Spanish in highschool. My pronunciation was terrific but my memory for the words was shit. In College, I took Latin. Don't ask why. I just did. And after college, I wanted to teach myself French, and boy do I wish I had succeeded, especially now with "Carmen". The pronunciation has stymied me! And some pieces are so lightening fast! I doubt I could sing that fast in my own language, much less one that I'm not familiar with.

Usually, I wind up doing performances on a wing and prayer, and magically, they work out. I suppose I shall just have to trust this one to the fates as well. If it's a system that works, why change it now?
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Permalink: Language.html
Words: 209
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/22/04 04:07 - ID#34922

'hate"

I believe that the word "hate" is in far too common usage. It cheapens the word. I, myself, am guilty of this. I "hate" everything- smoking, mushrooms, cockroaches, idiot drivers, stupid people... the list is endless. Now, I believe that I am required to up the ante, from plain old "hate" to "loathe". But why? Where will it end? I'm going to take a personal stand to bring back the true meaning of "hate!" and not use it for the trivial. This seems like an odd statement, even to myself... bring back the true meaning of "hate? No, I'm not about to go on some insane rampage, just do what I said and stop using it for the trivial. I think boredom is starting to get to me. Even I don't really understand me today!
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Permalink: _hate_quot_.html
Words: 135
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/22/04 11:02 - ID#34921

Composure

I'm usually very composed, in any given situation, composed. It may be the influence of my British mother... those of you who know her know that she is the very image of composure and I have tried very hard my whole life to be like her. It's very difficult for a little girl to grow up with a beautiful mother. She never actually cared about her looks... that was just something that was a gift from God... but for me it was like I had to grow up and look just like her- Long red hair, green eyes, alabaster skin. The last I actually managed to get. The rest is curly blond with these strange grey, blue, aqua eyes- depending upon who you talk to, they'll give you a different answer. I look nothing like her and that was a very hard thing to deal with growing up. So, as I couldn't look like her, I would act like her. I had it down in highschool. I was cold, like ice. I never cried and was the Queen Bitch of the Universe. And I was so unhappy. Slowly, I realized that that is not who I am. I'm emotional. I'm a happy, fiercely opinionated, more than slightly off the wall, woman. I am who I am. I can still be ice cold and the Queen Bitch of the Universe when I need to be, but I've tried very hard to let go and be who I really am. The one thing I can't let go of is my composure. It's carried me through many a difficult situation. So as I stand her typing at my job in my cute suit, I remain, as ever, a picture of composure.
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Permalink: Composure.html
Words: 288
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/21/04 04:41 - ID#34920

Weekend drain

Do you ever have those weekends where you don't actually do what you WANT to do and it is jam packed with obligations. I don't think I actually WANTED to do any of the things that I did this past weekend. However, it still managed to be fun, just jam packed and now, at my job that just went fulltime, I'm exhausted from the weekend! Aren't they supposed to be restful? A break from working? And yet we all pack them so full, we never actually get to rest and relax. My vow is spend at least one day in a weekend for actually relaxing. Don't know how I'll fare in my quest, but I'm going to try my best.
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Permalink: Weekend_drain.html
Words: 120
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/18/04 05:08 - ID#34919

Roses pity party

I love flowers all flowers. Most women do. And like most women, I am particularly fond of roses. Today, one of my co-workers, who is in the throws of a new romance with a man that she actually met at Pleasure Island in Disney World (Who knew?) received roses, beautiful red roses. Although cliche, still soul achingly lovely. I'm happy for her, genuinely happy but it still stings as I have never had anyone send me roses. And so, I will wallow, just for a little while longer in my roses pity party.
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Permalink: Roses_pity_party.html
Words: 93
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/18/04 01:39 - ID#34918

And on to the rest...

I work in a bank. It's sort of a strange place for me to work given as I have no head for numbers, am a terrible multitasker, and I'm just generally the "creative type." I'm a bit off the wall. Often, someone will say something, and then a minute later, I will say something else that seems totally unrelated. Then, they give me the "Where the hell did that come from?" look and I have to explain the chain reaction that occurred in my head to get from what they originally said to where I came up with the "strange" statement. Then the other party inevitably says, "Oh." but I don't think they feel any better about my explanation.

And after that HUGE digression, I will resume my point... which is why I like my job at the bank. I have the unglorious job of bankteller. I work in my home town, in the bank that I have been going to since I was 18. Needless to say, to get hired there 8 years later was strange. But what makes it strange is that I already knew everyone, my fellow tellers and the customers. I see high school teachers that have since retired. (It is sad to me to see their somewhat disappointed looks on there faces when they see that this is what I am doing now. It's not forever,just for now.) I see my dad, my brothers, all of their friends, and prior to her death, my grandmother. (I think I would faint if I saw her walk through the door! I believe in ghosts but I don't want to see any!) One of my favourite things is the old men who come in and flirt with us. Like Trisha said when she and I were at her grandfather's Legion post, "There's nothing like old men to make a girl feel young and hot!" I don't like the stress. Working with large amounts of money is not exactly a relaxing work environment. But as I said it is for now, not forever. Does anyone really know what they want to do forever? Can you believe that they actually expect us to have it figued out by the time we're 20? That just seems so wrong!

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Permalink: And_on_to_the_rest_.html
Words: 375
Location: Sunny LA, NY


06/18/04 12:06 - ID#34917

fascination

I have to admit that I am fascinated by "Stickboy's" entries. Who is this enigma? I can't help but wonder.
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Permalink: fascination.html
Words: 20
Location: Sunny LA, NY


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