OK, I saw that Channel 2 ran a story last night about the increased presence of turkeys in WNY this spring. That's all well and good, but I published an expose on this situation weeks ago...

(Check the link, yo... )

If you ask me, Channel 2 and their "scientist" got all the facts wrong. Man, I really hate it when they use scientists on news broadcasts. So smug and "facty".

Sure, we've had a ideal turkey weather. I guess we're short on wolves and predators... but they missed the real facts behind the turkey explosion. They totally missed the whole conspiracy involving MTV and Ashton Kutcher.

Man, Channel 2 totally dropped the ball. But never fear, you heard the real news from me. I don't weight the story down with trivial details, like facts, either.

And they said "There's nothing to see in Amherst". Bah! Fooey! Look what I saw today on our beloved strip of commercial class also known as "Niagara Falls Boulevard"...

FISH MEAL

I'm not claiming to be a master of the English language, media, advertising, or marketing. Still, I feel there is absolutely nothing about this sign that would attract me to purchase "fish meal" for $299. Two hundred and ninety nine dollars is an awful lot of money for "Fish Meal". In fact, I'm pretty sure anyone who's seen "Shark Week" on the Discovery Channel knows that this is also know as chum[dict]chum[/dict]. Burger King is really stretching when they try to up their bottom line with high priced fish guts. Who buys this sh*t? Those soccer moms in Clarence. That's who.



I sure am glad they take Visa. Sign me up!

The $299 "fish meal" is worth a picture, but then, right next to it, I saw this gem...

The Worst Job In Information Technology


I used to think that "Printer repair technician" must be the worst job in the IT biz... even worse than "Customer Support Representative". That was until I saw that there was a position known as "HIGH SPEED INTERNET HOUSEKEEPER".

What the... uh... I don't even want to know what they scrub, or why.


I'd rather be a prostitute who specializes in the oral stimulation of goat genitalia than work at a business with a sign like this.




It would appear that the Days Inn couldn't afford a ".", much less a sign that made sense.

Ok, it seems that my last post struck some form of chord with at least a few people, so my research wasn't just a light fluttering among my neurotransmitters. There must be something to this, and so I continue...

This little blog is about improving te soundtrack of my fellow man (or woman... or people... ah whatever... "other people")

Therefore, I'm going with a "feel good" theme right now... I am personally sick of gloomy weather and feel that spring is coming soon. In preparation, I'm prepping my soundtrack (and hopefully someone else's) with some feel good hits. So, after much delay, here's today's 'feel good' two-fer...

Mood/scene: Feeling down on oneself, left out of the mix, but ready to get back into it...
Song: you are invited
Artist: the Dismemberment Plan
Album: Emergency & I
Description: Mathy indie rock with a lot of heart. This track mixes a little bit of cheesy casio and vocals, but explodes with a nice twist. The lyrics are touching and uplifting, like the title. definitely inspires confidence and would make a great "comeback" montage.

and our "bonus track"...

Mood/Scene: Heading out with a bunch of friends. Could fit a "comeback" for anyone who's had a breakup, or run into an old flame...
Song: Outtasite (Outta mind)
Artist: Wilco
Album: Being there
Description: Well, Wilco is a class act and has a lot of great songs, but this country-fried rock ditty combines all of the heart, soul, melody, and guts anyone could want. The line " Look out, here I come again, and I'm bringin' my friends" fits well with today's feelgood comeback theme.

If you're at all like me, then there is a constant, revolving soundtrack playing in your head. I've been researching this over the past 10 years of my life. Now, my research isn't the least bit scientific. Most of it was done while getting hammered at bars. However, for sociological data, drunks at bars tend to be honest.

Now, add in that I'm a music nerd, and that influences the circles I run in, and my data might be entirely shite.

Still, this is my weblog, so I don't have to prove anything to anyone.... read on if you like subjective ramblings by elitist music nerds...

My non-scientific finding show that most people have some form of "mental soundtrack" that chronicles their current mode. Songs get stuck in our heads, or we gravitate toward certain artists at certain times in our lives.

This might be a universal human trait, or it might be the byproduct of having seen too many John Hughs films at an early age. Regardless of howit happened, it's here to stay.

Now, the next issue I have is the fact that I am a bit of a music nerd. thus, I feel you and your soundtrack shoul not suck. Far too many people end up with crappy life-soundtracks. I'm going to change that with this blog. I intend to post some fine, less-likely choices for your soundtrack.

Listen to my suggestions and your soundtrack will become better and better...

Thankfully, the RIAA hasn't found a way to collect royalties on my mental state, so I can freely choose whatever artist and song I want to play in the constant tape loop of my mind.


So, here's the first song to improve your soundtrack:

Mood/scene = Upbeat, cool, walkin down the street in the springtime...
Song: Emma Blowgun's Last Stand
Artist: Beulah
Album: When your Heartstrings Break
description: Very hip, low-fi sound. Got a nice horn line to make you feel all confident...


I will continue to add soundtrack suggestions to this page as they come to me... Please feel free to post your own. My greatest fear in life is anyone honestly believing that an Aviril Lavine song could be part of their life's soundtrack. That's like saying McDonald's is your "home cookin'".