Sio credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, siodo il vero,
Senza tema dinfamia ti rispondo.


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question 10
Oh, do not ask, What is it?
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, Do I dare? and, Do I dare?
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair?" 40
[They will say: How his hair is growing thin!]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin?"
[They will say: But how his arms and legs are thin!]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:"
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all?" 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all?"
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep, tired, or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet?"and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all?" 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor
And this, and so much more?
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old, I grow old 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me. 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.


--TS Elliott--

Yesterday is gone and I'm preparing for work tonight. It seems my vacation is finally over after I blew all of yesterday by sleeping. It was kinda funny I woke up ate something fell back asleep for the afternoon...woke up at 11:00pm ate some thing and then fell back to sleep around 2:00am...Sorry I missed your party Matt, hopefully the day was special for you, mine usually are...

I went to the Queen concert on Friday and have to say that it kinda sucked. Only 2 original band members (where was the quintasential Brian May?) and Paul Rodgers who surprisingly offered a good show if you don't mind bad company... I would have enjoyed the show but they left out a few of the major hits. I did get to here ANother one Bites the Dust and a tribute to Freddy Mercury with Bohemian Rhapsody. My first 35rpm was the Dust single with Keep Yourself Alive on the B-side....its my favorite Queen song but they didn't play it so here it is. Can you say reunion tour???

HMMMM...it seems the depatment of labor doesn't accept a master degree as section 599 training. Gee that kinda sucks...looks like my Sabbatical is coming to an end...it says that my training will not lead to a specific goal....WOW!!!! I can think of about a hundred that it could lead to....business training is not required to work as a cook or in the field of executive grocery store management.

I got to go reheat some food for a couple of hours...then I have to hit a mismanaged grocery store for some supplies. See ya later, Love..

MrDT

I can't believe its 3:30 and in a few hours I will be on a plane back to cold buffalo. the weather is gorgeous here. take for instance the time and the fact that its still 70 degrees out. I had the top down on the mustang on the way home pumping some armin van buuren. so many looks...so many complements...i want one of my own if i ever move down here.

brought some drunk ass youngins back to the hotle with me. i can't ever remember being that young, foolish or immature. it seems that the only thing on their minds was meeting hot guys tomorrow on the beach. good for them i guess i'm glad its out of my system. however i do wish i would have met some hot girl to share this time in the fun and sun with.

can't say i'm in a hurry to get home but it will be nice to get back into my old regimen. i miss the gym, the brownrice and every morning's regularity that come from eating a well balanced high nutrition and fiber diet.

my nose is peeling and i have to pack...i changed my user sound for all of those who appreciatate music.

lookin' for some sunshine in buffalo...with love, MrDT

Time for some fun big willie style.

Love, MrDT

Its about 2:30 right now and I'm wakin up from a nap...looks like I won't be able to so anything else until tomorrow...I blew it!!! (should have gotten up at 12:00).

This resort is great...I ogt kinda boned on my car rental and instead of a convertible ,ustang I got a chrysler sebring...which is really disappointing I payed extra to go with Budget who rents Fords and not Dollar who rents chyslers. They're gonna get an earful from me in the morning.

Here are some pics from my .5 megapixel phone camera:





I bet you guys miss this!!!



Even the pool is wifi---you should have seen the looks I got when I pulled out my laptop!!!




Damn I need to get some sleep...



One very, very big tub







Damn this room is big...I keep on having to walk thorugh doors to get to rooms.



Notice the shitty golf coarse off the patio...not to shabby...



OOO .... and a full kitchen too...
Notice yankees cap, backwards...Yeah I love NY

I made a trip to Walmart in the evening....Holy shit what a nightmare that was. I must have waited an hour for about 6 people to ring and bag their carts all to have their first credit card declined...everyone and I'm not kidding....DT tip #2 if you value your sanity on vacation stay the hell away from Walmart.




Good thing I brought some fine Indian tabacco to calm me down.

I'm out...it seems like I had some funny captions for these pictures but they all slipped my mind...TIme to go back to bed.,,

Love you, MrDT

[size=xl]SPRING BREAK IS HERE!!![/size]
Am I too old to get excited by springbreak???? I am going on spring break and all.

Well I took the okcupid! test and I have to say the results are what I've always known:

The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)


Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.

You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.


Your exact opposite:The Billy Goat

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer

You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph

CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach



--With that in mind I better go stock up.

Spring break is so important to me. It gives me a chance to finally warm-up and to be active again. Half the reason I'm so unproductive during winter is cause its too damn cold for me to go out. I ski but I gave it up because most of my friends now snowboard.... and it's so damned expensive. But anyway, this will be a nice to change allowing me to get outside and just walk in the beatiful weather. Nothing like a good walk to rid myself of that winter cabin fever. If I had my way it would be summer every day

Not sure if I'll he'd into bike week at Daytona. Would the traffic be worth it??? Could I even get the Mustang down the A 1 A, beachfront ave??..Or should I opt for the publc beacf in Cocoa??? Its supposed to rain on thursday in Laudeldale.

Maybe, hook up with a friend and shoot the 9 hole practice coarse??...

With that in mind it's time to go because I have many things to do...

Love, Mrdt

---

Random Gentle Love Master (I like that word master)

yeah I had a feelin' that was gonna happen. i just wrote a few lines and published it with the plan to update it. i had this feelin that it wasn't gonna post and it didn't. once again it seems like I'm the last to post for the day. even got paul beat and (e:ladycroft) if your an insomniac where the hell are you???

changed my user sound again for all you music lovers. this time were takin it old school.

as I was saying, i just finished an enormous salad with a piece of mid-rare flank steak. I over dressed the salad but let me tell you that Ken's sesame and ginger lite is the bomb. this was the first time I didn't over cook my meat, usually the foreman wineds up steaming instead of searing and I get a well done piece of meat in about 4 minutes. Not Tonight!!!!

i've been thinking about my trip coming up. its gonna be so much fun but i don't have anyone to enjoy it with. i'll probably call my old friend mary jane up to keep me company while i sit by the pool or beach and read a few books i have picked out. i didn't leave her for health reasons....i just had to say goodbye for work related reasons and she was getting in the way. not to mention the fact that i love her so much: the way she sparkles in the moonlight; the way she smells so intoxicating; her red hairs;the way she tastes; the way she makes me feel and the way i feel so relaxed around her. it just sucks that i have these killer plans set up and its just me. I have the mariott timeshare in orlando right on a 27 hole championship golf course with a hot tub master suite, swim-up bar, 3 restaurants and $200 in gift certificates for massage or disney or universal or the ritz-carlton. Then there's two nights in Ft Lauderdale at a Starwood property right on the fucking beach which is absolutely free. And of coarse can't forget about the car rental which is brand new drop top ford mustang. Phatty, phat, phat, phat.

Its tueday night and I leave early Saturday morning...if anybody wants to go...plenty of room...am i just playin...i don't know. Well anyway I'm excited as hell. I hit more than my goal weight this morning...12 lbs in a little over 6 weeks. I should be able to squeeze out another half pound or so....but whats the difference the second i get down there the old me is comin' back out. actually maybe not the old me but i can tell you when you're alone alcohol does wonders for the confidence.

I just watched that HBO movie Ms. Harris...it was about the Scarboro Diet Murder. Pretty good...I have always loved annette bening. It reminded how shitty people are to one another and how deceptive they can be. All I can say is what goes around comes around. Life ain't fair but thats no reason to be a shitty person. Some days I wake up feelin like I got the shitty end of the stick and I'm a little sad and suicidal but I don't go and take it out on other people. so be good to people damnit and quit being so fuckin stuck up. who do you think you are??? you're just like the rest of us unique/confused/lonely/happy/depressed...no better than the rest. and help one another---don't wait for somebody to ask when you see them struggling. don't forget we're all in this shit together so lets make the best of it. as a matter of fact lets all get naked and f.......

With lots of love, MrDT

i stopped by an old friends house tonight to celebrate his birthday and the fact that he made it through his first block at the culinary institue of america...a school i have considered for many years to go to. it was a decent group of people some elders mixed with people my age. i was talking to a guy that is the executive chef of the wegmans amherst st location. it completely confirmed to me that wegmans only hires mindless individuals that buy onto their corporate culture bullshit. you know the people who plan to work in the same place for the rest of their life boring, comfortable lives. sorry to those of you who work for wegmans but i'll be surprised if you tell me that moving up the corporate ladder has been a short and easy process.

a few people seemed highly intoxicated on a mixture of red wine and whiskey, mainly my buddy and his mother. DT tip #1 never mix the grain and the grape. I was talkin to one of my acquaintances through my buddy about my place and (e:) strip and decided to hop on my buddies computer to check it out. all of a sudden my buddy's mom was buggin about the fact that we were on her computer which she pays for and uses in her basement....I thought she was kidding right off the bat because I have worked on that damn computer with my buddy for many years not to mention all the times that i crashed on his couch witch is adjacent to the computer. then all of a sudden i can hear her buggin out to somebody how disrespectful it was, like i'm not even in the room...

she starts to praise how wonderful her son is an how great he is doing in his program at the institute...he's gonna be one of the best graduates ever....he's gonna have his own cooking show on foodtv someday. then i say hey greg why don't you show us your hat. then all of a sudden this guy snaps at me and states how its disrespectful to wear the hat outside the kitchen. so i ask, why? and his mother chimes in that they are teaching him at the school to be professional and that they wouldn't let me keep the burns or the five a clock shadow. she then begins to state how i would never be accepted into such an important program. (let me tell you i scored in the lower 80 percentile on my gmat. i was accepted to nu, ub, nyu, cornell and university of chicago on that, my undergrad gpa and work experience as a well regarded chef, but chose to stay close to home and take the presidential scholarship from canisius, i don't think the extremely overpriced but well appointed cia would have denied my acceptance that if i took would have led to valedictorian with a solid job in one of the countries finest restaurants). I didn't argue or fight back and went to hang out with my buddy in the other room. While in the other room i could hear drunk ass mom calling me a bastard and asked my buddy what it was about. he told me i should have kept my mouth shut. i could sense the resentment in his tone so i grabbed my shit and left. i guess i totally forgot my Lenten resolution to stop hanging out with people that have tombstones in their eyes.

a little background on this guy....fry cook for life. always my wingman/somewhat of a sidekick. i encouraged him back into the restaurant business. i practically pushed him to aspire to greater things and to check out the cia. i gave him books written by admired food writers, old copies of gourmet and food arts continually, filled his head with info and my knowledge of cooking. and last but not least, on the way home from our trip to nyc to see the restaurant show we stopped for a tour and dinner that i set up and payed for at the cia. he was broke after nyc so i dropped $225 on drinks, dinner and tip($65) for the student waiter. i never got one thank you or i owe you one buddy. a few days after thanksgiving we were hanging out at mother's after my 10 year reunion. i was hammered and some how we started fighting about who would win in iron chef between myself and his culinary education. i was drunk, he insulted my lively hood somewhere in the conversation, so i told him not now nor ever would he ever be a better cook than i was. a little snobbish i know but he called me an asshole-prick and i apologized up and down. what can i say i'm an honest drunk and what you, my dear readers, don't understand is the level i operate on and the level that he aspires to. i'm here and he's down there not because of knowledge but because of a level of creativity, experience, passion and dedication. he's always resented me for this and like i said he stayed a fry cook while i became one of the youngest and talented pro's in the area. don't think because i'm not working now doesn't mean i could'nt get a job in a hot spot anywhere because i'm well versed with the ins 'n' outs that go on everywhere in virtually every restaurant.

moral of the story is when you on top...mother fuckers just want to rip you down. i've worked really hard to get to where i am...full time in restaurant, full time for associates degree and bachelors degree....not to mention the really long shifts and high heat, open to close then back 4 hours later to reopen. i might sound arrogant but the truth is that i'm extremely confident in my ability to knock your socks off through food. and most of the time pretty humble but i hate when somebody knocks 15 years of hard work and dedication to my craft and education. most of the time it rolls off like a freshly waxed car but not tonight. i have an opportunity to take a sabbatical to realign my sights and goals. it won't be to long and this bad ass mother fuckin cook will be tearin' it up again makin' the food ya just can't get enough of in your favorite restaurants.

Now i want you to reach down in the bag and get my wallet out of it. you can take the money out of it and put it in your pocket.... you'll know its mine cause it's the one that says bad motha fucka on it.

Peace out Greg and as always, good luck to you in all endeavors,

With love, Mrdt

This picture is in response to the conversation we had in the chat today. Can anyone spot the man is this picture. Here's a hint it's not the guy holding the camera. (e:jason) this is for you:




I'm not sexist but I thought this was kinda funny.

With humor this time, MrDT

New user sound for your listening pleasure!!!!

Its coming pretty close to my one year anniversary since I started really working out and dedicating myself to becoming physically fit. I envy you skinny people with fast metabolisms. I can't eat or drink anything without seeing the ramifications on the scale. I recently started a mini-weight loss training session before I go to Florida. I'll probably hit ten-eleven pounds by the time I leave next Saturday, which is good but I'm sick of the work it takes. When I wake up in the morning I have to figure out what I have scheduled for the day and how to fit the gym/six meals in between. I have to eat breakfast, make some food for the day cram it into my little lunch box then when its time I usually eat it cold. Usually, on my way to the gym I go through my routine in my head, do I have enough time; will it take to much time; is it a lite day or a heavy day; how do I feel; set progression; rep progression; how can I raise my intensity; mass movements vs definition; what worked last week/didn't work; should I add more weight, sets or reps. Truth be told its more mentally exhausting than physical, some days. Don't get me wrong...it feels so good, especially for a guy dealing with a lot of financial stress. My problems don't seem as difficult and my serotonin levels are higher keeping my general disposition out of the gutter.

But some days I ask myself what the fuck do I do it all for? I guess its because I have always been overweight and really want to be the skinny underwear model guy. Last year I was a skinny guy for about 3 weeks but then I had the great idea to bulk up and after four months I was back to my starting weight (included is about 15#'s of new muscle). Alot of it can be blamed on the fact that I'm not working as much and its winter so I'm relatively inactive (skiing is way to expensive). I guess we all have parts of us that we would rather do without but sometimes I hit this threshold and want to throw it all away and let myself go over a burger, fries and milkshake which I occasionally indulged in.

I'm pretty sure the beautiful people have it easier. The ones who can just go to the gym a few days a week and can eat whatever they want. Not only do they add muscle but they never put on a pound. And here I am working my ass off to see some good muscle separation between my shoulders, chest and upper arms. How long does it take....I know a very long time. It really is a slow process especially for guys like me because you can't build muscle when your cutting and actually you lose muscle and when I can't keep the fat off when trying to bulk up. I guess I'm mad at myself for over bulking this winter cause I didn't really know what I was doing. I do now though but 30#s later its too late, time to diet again. Maybe this summer I won't try to cut up and I'll just keep on building then next year I'll have all that mass under a layer of fat and I'll be a good candidate to win the Body for Life and the Men's Health competition. I just don't know right now. Sometimes I beat up on myself mentally because it's taking so long to hit my goals. If nobody wants to work out with me I'll have to get a trainer. Right now I'm feeling the gym burnout so it will be a nice change of pace. Got to keep movin..got to do more...got to be more.

I am breathing in some serious paint fumes and my house is completely trashed. I guess my brothers moving back in here. His shit is absolutely fucking everywhere. Tonight when I wake up because I have to take a leak I'm sure to break a fuckin toe on the stuff he has cluttered through the hall. Yeah I can't wait. I'm gonna miss having the whole house to myself. Crankin' the music all hours, living by myself in a clean, serene and peaceful environment. Now I have two people to clean up after. He doesn't even have his essentials here but I'm cleaning up dishes, popcorn everywhere, diet pepsi cans, junk, junk mail. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!!!! I can see it now doing his dishes while I'm rushing to get food for the day ready, picking up towels, throwing out his junk mail cluttering the kitchen table. He's got some kind of hearing problem and can talk really loud which usually wakes me up from a sound slumber. Its like National Lampoons Vacation, I'm Clark and he's cousin Eddy..."Merry Christmas, shitter's full." "Honey have you checked our shitters lately." Dont get me wrong I love him more than any body in the world but sometimes he's a little ignorant of other people and I hate using that word. Reminds me of when MJ was on South Park.

My Hooverphonic cd just went back to one so that means I have been typing too long...Sorry to be so negative but I had to get it out. I hate negativity, unfortunately it brews in me like coffee at Starbucks. Most of the time I have a pretty sunny disposition but right now I'm feelin' the shitty cards I got dealt.

I love you all, MrDT