I was telling (e:paul) last night that I want to see a hypnotist. Although I haven't smoked a cigarette in months there is something inside me that still craves smoking. I just want to shut if off. Its not that I feel that I'm going to smoke again, really it isn't an option in my mind anymore. This constant craving inside my body makes me so tense and I don't think that is any good for me either. Working out helps, but I have been so busy. Maybe thats why I'm having trouble now.

It was in the news a few weeks ago about how a lot of people who suffer strokes that smoked previously stop after the stroke. They are doing a lot of research now on this so they can figure away to just in essence flip a switch in our brains turning the cravings off. My uncle smoked very heavily for years. After seeing a hypnotist he never had a craving again and actually became physically ill upon smelling the ashtray in his car or smelling the smoke in his clothes. So even thought I feel as if I will never smoke again, I still want to turn off being addicted to cigarettes. Because I started when I was a preteen, my brain and body developed with nicotine, so it is no wonder I am still suffering from not having any.

I'm actually much happier not smoking and I can't imagine giving all that up to smoke again. If I smoke again, I'll destroy the happiness that I have created.

This has been not such a great day, but I'll try to complain as little as possible. My phone is broken because it fell out of my car while doing laundry and now I can't see anything on the screen. No I didn't purchase the insurance. My phone rang but nobody was there so it rings, but not sure if i can pick it up. I guess I have to go out again and look for a new phone. So I am off to circuit city.


Things to remember when doing laundry in Buffalo.

1) Do not leave your detergent in the car...it will freeze

2) Do not forget to put your laundry detergent back into the car when you are going to the laundry mat (What I did today).

3) Do not go do laundry on Sunday during the day. Especially Super Bowl Sunday.

4) Never get an apartment that doesn't have laundry in the facility. (maybe this is the most important)

I'm thinking that I don't like all these youtube things in my journals. I feel like they are making me look like youtube. Maybe I will delete them. I haven't decided. There is one more video that I took that I wanted to share and this one is a bit more exciting (not by much) than the three I just posted. It is me and my friend drunk and playing with her cat Slick. Oh well. It is too bad that I feel like I don't like the youtube thing because otherwise I find videos very fun even the mundane.

I never mentioned the "letter" again. A few posts back I mentioned how I wrote a letter to someone that was very blunt to the fact that I wouldn't tolerate being disrespected. It really was a good thing in my life to do this because I think some years back, I just would have allowed myself to continue to be degraded. Anyways I was so worried about how this person would react to the letter, but the reaction has been very positive. I'm so happy to have resolved the matter in a way beneficial to us both. This was definitely an important first step in my life.

My new computer is better than I imagined. My dad also hooked up my old hard drive to the new computer so I could back up my files and also have extra space. Windows XP is so much better than 2000 and that is probably the most you will ever here me say about operating systems.

Getting dangerously close to the Sqaj during the ice storm.




Hear the ravaging Sqaj.

Coco is so cute when he is sleeping.

Went to the UPS store today to ship my grandparents the picture frame. I'm ashamed to say that I spent $8.70 for a 24x26x18 cardboard box. Acutally they wanted to charge me $23 to package it with their own materials. Um no. Really I have no idea where to buy cheap boxes so I bought their box for a ridiculous price. Spent $9.20 to send the frame to zipcode 13760. Cost of frame $20. Had I already not had some packing peanuts and buble wrap (I love bubble wrap) saved up, I would have spent that much in materials. I thought gifts from the heart usually cost next to nothing, but not in this case. Next time I'll just send them the pics, they can frame them if they want.

Today I waited for the bus freezing my little behind off for almost an hour. The bus schedule is now handy in my book bag.

I ordered the following books from Amazon. Beats paying Barnes and Noble at Buffalo State almost twice as much. Last semester I went the entire semester with only a pocket dictionary. I had given away my good spanish to english dictionary to a classmate learning english in Cuba. Decided that I really do need a better one. I got both spanish to english and just a regular spanish dictionary. If you use the dictionary that doesn't give the english translation you are more likely to learn it. Also grabbed a couple of others that should help me learn some new things.
    1     "How to Read a Book (A Touchstone Book)"
Mortimer J. Adler; Paperback; $10.88


    1     "Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books"
Azar Nafisi; Paperback; $10.17


    1     "Larousse Unabridged Dictionary: Spanish-English / English-Spanish (Larousse Unabridged)"
Editors of Larousse; Hardcover; $38.94


    1     "Textos medievales de caballerias (Letras Hispanicas)"
Paperback; $19.95

    1     "Larousse Gran Diccionario Usual de la Lengua Espanola"
Editors of Larousse; Paperback; $16.29

    1     "Diccionario de Sinonimos, Antonimos, e Ideas Afines"
Editors of Larousse (Mexico); Paperback; $4.95

    1     "Ortografia Lengua Espanola: Reglas y Ejercicios"
Paperback; $8.95

    1     "Spanish Pronunciation: Theory and Practice"
John B. Dalbor; Paperback; $45.12

    1     "Panoramas Literarios Espana"
Beverly Mayne Kienzle; Paperback; $32.40

Book I am borrowing

Voces de Hispanoamerica


Books I still need

Don Quixote--Cervantes

Amadís de Gaula

Don Quixote--diccionario


My phonetics class was canceled again. The teacher is old and sick. We got free pens from the department chair because the teacher wasn't there again.

Being at school from 9 to 6 is way too draining. It is the three hour wait and then the hour and a half wait between classes that is the worst. By the third class I was falling asleep. Some how I gotta figure out how to stay alert for the third. Maybe I should take a nap in between? Like I mentioned before, going to the gym seems like a sure way for me to crash afterwards. I had a mocha at about 3pm because I had a free card from last semester to use for any drink I want, otherwise I drink regular coffee. Mocha isn't my favorite, but the chocolate can somewhat mask bad espresso. Maybe it was the mocha that made me crash. When I didn't drink coffee at all I had more energy, but I like it too much. What a rotten crop for the land too. If I could eat better while I was in school that would probably help, but I can't seem to manage to pack anything. I guess I could try working on that. Sorry I'm talking out loud.

So I have not heard anything regarding the letter I left someone yet. It seems I will know on Friday how the person will react. I'm so nervous because the letter was very stern in that I would not tolerate being degraded. If they decide they want to kill/stalk/terrorrize me I decided that the story would be a great lifetime movie. (e:mike) will make sure to get lifetime a script. I wonder who would play me the best? Does Justin Timberlake do any acting? It would be nice if it was someone who got their sexy back to play me. The anticipation of what could happen as the result of the letter is driving me crazy. What I know about this person is that the disrespect they have shown me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. The situation really is quite sad. Maybe I can have a good influence on this person's life? That would be an ideal situation I suppose.

Today I did a little cat and fish sitting.



Dooku

Herby

Ligi



I also wrote a letter to someone who has continued to disrespect me. They won't be doing that any longer.



I could sleep forever now.

My last semester is finally here. Five more classes starting tomorrow and after 7 years I will have my Bachelor degree. My schedule sucks and on two nights of the week I'll be in class until 7:15. Long night classes are awful. I'm not sure when is the best time to go to the gym now because it seems like I crash after working out. Some people get tons of energy and I do too, but there is a period where I crash and burn and it isn't good when it happens in class.

I am sending a few of my ice storm pictures to my grandparents to show my appreciation for them. I got a frame at Target for about $20 that fits all three of them. The first one I wanted to get was darker and I'm glad I didn't get it cause it would have looked wierd in their house. Usually I don't give pictures as gifts even though I want to because everyone's taste is different and I don't want them to feel bad if they don't want to hang it. I think my grandparents will like this though. They have always encouraged my photography since I was like 15. I have done quite a bit of frame shopping and they are quite expensive. I did manage to get 5 or 6 4x6 frames at the dollar store and then I realized you can't hang them up so I have to get special hardware to do that. Most of the time I leave all my pics as Digital files, so I'm trying to break that habit and get some printed. I got the photos developed at Delaware Cam for .19 each. If anyone knows a cheaper place but equal quality let me know.

Here is the completed frame. It looks better in person. The lighting made it look yellowish.




I entered Coco into a photo contest for some rabbit magazine but haven't heard back. I'm not sure my pics do so well in contests but I love them all the same. Wab isn't the type that they usually feature in the publication. We didn't even know what his "breed" was. I don't care really. People that care all that much about breeds are sometimes a bit crazy. I used to show dogs so I know. It was so stupid.

Here is Coco. I think I notice him aging. I kind of like it, you don't always get to see rabbits aging. Maybe he is 4 years old?






The frame I got for my grandparents is kind of big. Im not even sure what to do to send it. Maybe I'll just go to mailboxes etc. and ask them to pack it and everything. I hope it isn't super expensive because i'm trying not to squander my money.