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kangarooboi’s journal

The end might be approaching

· 🌡️ 35°F

So yeah, I just don't know!! Maybe by this time next week I might be playing that single game. Which would be interesting since it would be the first time being single while being "out". But its, so hard being single. That means I have to go out, meet new people blah blah blah.

But you know, I can't do that. I am SO self-conscious about how I look I can't do it. You know, that's a HUGE problem with the GLBT community. Many are so focused on how the person looks, they forget about everything else. Yes, I may not be the most attractive individual (which I find hard to believe) but gish darn it, there's a LOT more to me than just that. But of course if I am not physically appealing to the eye, they won't get to see what I am all about.

But i'm talking like Drew and I are over....which we are not. We had a nice converstaion last night about everyhting. We'll see what happens. He said that he would try to be there more for me and to do things for me to show that he actually cares. BUT...of course I get an IM tonight when I was out shopping with my RAs that he might not be over tonight becasue some of his friends are having a labrynth movie night and they are very domminering and he might be firced into going. Umm...yeah..PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AND SAY YOU CAN'T GO!! Its not that hard!

No matter what, I am going to be seen as the bad guy. He is trying to put everythung all on me. the way he is talking, he's making it sound like I am forcing him to change who he is to be more of the way that I want him. But i don't think that I am...am I? I mean, it is too much to be asked to have a little love in return?
334 words

💬 3 comments

  1. metalpeter ·

    First of being single is nice because of the freedom, but other then that it sucks. If I was the Bullshiter out going type yeah I could go to a bar and try to get some pussy not that I would wind up getting any. But what I'm wondering is why you didn't send an IM back Asking or saying you would like to hang out with him and his friends and watch movies. (Granted if he wasn't out then it might be a problem). Some times people take the ones they love for granted because they know they will always be there. Another example is when I was in school I would study for the harder classes knowing that I didn't have to do anything for the easier classes, maybe a bad anology but maybe you get my point.
  2. jenks ·

    No it's not too much to ask.
    It HAS to be a two way street, or one person will eventually be resentful.
    I hope you guys work things out.
    But don't compromise yourself.
  3. ladycroft ·

    yah, we so need to talk!

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