The only problem after a night of SOCO and Lime with great friends is remembering all that was done last night when one was drunk. I got to say, there are some things that I wish I did not do...majority of it having my RAs/and residents on the floor possibly see me drunk. What kind of example am I setting here? Apparently however, residents and RAs have seen the OTHER supervisor for my building intoxicated too. And really...they would not have seen me drunk if (e:) theecarey did not lock us out of my apartment! So really....I was still being responsible!!

On that note, I got up this AM and found that (e:) theecarey had left when I was still asleep? I have NO idea what time it was when she left. Thanks for the note however! Glad you were able to come out and have some fun! It was nice sleeping with you too :-) (Sleep meaning just that..sleeping!)

Later Gators!

What to write. . .that is the question. (e:) theecarey just said that she has a hole in her potato chip. How random. Tonight I had a SOCO and Lime party at my apartment at UB. It crazy fun. Right now, I am quite drunk but (e:) theecarey told me to post since it has been OVER a month! So, I am am positing. POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST. We ((e:theecarey) and I) have gone through alomst a full liter of SOCO tonight. We are such bad people. I also showed her pics of my winderufl boyfriend that should not have been shown to anyone except me. Oh no!! He will kill me if he knowsI should thise pics. So yeah...that;s that. I've posted. Now for another shot of soco and lime. THis time, it is for Paul who created (E:Strip). THIS IS FOR YOU!!!!
:-)

(e:) theecarey adds this comment: AWESOME! :-)

So I have recently thanks to NETFLIX, been watching all the seasons of Queer as Folk one DVD at a time. I just completed season 2 (I think). I'm not sure how many episodes there are in seaosn 2. I just watched 11 and 12. In it, the two lesbians Melanie and Lindsay just got married. Watching that, really made me think about my life and what i want. You know, I really want to get married.

I am ready to settle down and commit. And you know what, I want to marry Drew. Yes we have had our problems, but at the end, I still love him and I know that he loves me. And that's that.

Last night in Washington DC and I went to my first gay bar. What a dissapointment. I go and spend almost $60 on a new outfit and nothing. What that diid to myself esteem!! It was already low...and now it is even lower. I want to cry :-(

So many cute boys here at NASPA...and NO ONE talked to me.

F the world.

I leave for Washington DC in abou 3 hours for part of my Spring Break! (e:Ladycroft) and I as well as the other grads in our program are heading down for a 5-day conference. Should be good times :-)

I was woken up at 4:15am by the sound of two people having sex in the showers. My bedroom/bathroom are built behind the guys bathroom on the floor I live on. (I live in a Residence Hall at UB for those of you who don't know; I am the Assistant Hall Director). Yeah. . THAT was interesting.

The latest saga with my boyfriend continues. Here's the latest for those if you keeping score at home. Since I am leaving for DC as this is Spring Break for both UB and Canisius, I thought it might be nice to see Drew since i wont' see him for two weeks. Of course I got the whole "We can hang out for a bit but I will probably have plans with my friends". Of course. So I pick him up at 6. There are some errunds that I have to do to get ready for DC and he wanted to go to the Dollar Tree. Then we eat dinner at McDonalds. We get back to my apartment about 8 and he goes instatnly to my computer and starts to make his plans for the later part of the night. I'm like "how nice". We have limited time together ANYWAY and he uses our time together to make plans WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

So anyway, once he finished making his plans, we sit on the couch and watch a movie (part of it as it was almost over). I figured that since I wasn't going to see him for two weeks, we might well...you know. Nope. Bastard didn't even kiss me. I'm like WTF! So his friends call and somehow I get invited. Okay sure why not. I'm on duty. . . I have nothing else to do. We go to Friendly's and I am totally ignored for 2 hrs. Drew and his friends talk about theater crap and such...and I just sit there like a bafoon smiling and laughing at just the right moments. I never heard Drew talk so much.

These next two weeks I think are going to be used to rethink and re-evaluate things.

(WIKIPEDIA - typeHere)

So you might be asking what pray tell is the prize that someone might be winning. The prize is the attention of my boyfriend for the night. Yes, my boyfriend. And why do you ask is he up for a prize? Well, he put himself up on that pedestal himself. I am now playing the waiting game to see if there are any plans with his friends before he decides to hang out with me for the night.

Okay, so I know what you are thinking. . .if he plays games like this, why do I put up with it? Well the answer is simple! (Okay, maybe not so simple as I thought but its an answer! Yeah so what if it is REALLY fucked up). The answer is this, but beware tho it comes in three-fold

1.) I love him
2.) I don't think I could get anyone else to date me. You see, I have low self-esteem and have an extreamly negative outlook on myself. I know, I know that's not good. How can I love someone if I don't love myself. (Obviously you can tell that I have heard this ALL before). I just do. Whenever I look in the mirror, I get a disgusted look on my face and can't stand to look in it anymore. Not normal is it? I know. I just don't know how change my perception of myself.
3.) No other guy would be interested in a fat, ugly mess as myself.

That pretty much sums it up for the most part. Plus Drew has the first guy well, he was my first for a lot of things (but not ALL things).

That's my story and i'm sticking to it (as lousy as it is).

9:48pm and still waiting...i'll probably lose. He says that we will spend tomorrow together regardless. Well of course we will. . . he needs someone to take him to Wegmans. Well at least I am good for something.

I win by default. How special

(WIKIPEDIA - typeHere)

(WIKIPEDIA - typeHere)