i thank you all for the support and cute messages, but it just makes me want to move home even more....like all i have to do is get on a plane, and walk into roswell and be happy forever.

I am kinda on the fence about it...i mean, if i moved home and got a job, i would be making about $15,000 less than if I stayed here for one more year....and i would walk away with a masters.

but on the flip side, i am so sad and depressed here. i hate it here. i am not happy. i want to be home so badly....and it makes it worse knowing that i could have a great job there.

well. i applied. i sent my resume in. i guess if it is meant for me to work with breast cancer patients, then i will at least get an interview. but if not, than maybe its just not meant to be.....maybe that means then, then i am supposed to stay here and carry out my shitty life here in las vegas. depressing thought, but huge possibility.

i mean, what is another year?



well, either way, i have to stay here till my lawsuit is finalized. that could be a few months anyway. we will see.....

I miss home. i miss my family. i miss my neighborhood. i miss normalcy. i miss frizb's. i miss my friends. i miss ny in general.

i hate school. i hate las vegas. i hate my life here. i hate my program. i hate that i am wasting so much fucking time in this shitty fucking city. fuck.



i bought 3 shirts today. one of which is this cute hello kitty shirt that is pink and super cute and girly. usually i don't wear hello kitty gear... despite how i am a huge hello kitty fan, but i saw the shirt and it was saying "jess, you can do this one....it's cute!" so i bought it.



my sister is here this week. i feel bad because i am just so under the weather....and the weather here is insane may i add. it's only supposed to be around 70, and it is 90. too hot for me. fuck this shit.

i hate heat.

70 is perfect....springtime like. i think that is the general consesus. comfortable weather is key...

....but back to my sister. i am just kinda bummed about where i am in life right now, and i feel bad because she is here and wants to do all the vegas shit, but i just want to puke every time i see a casino or flashing lights or whores walking down the street. for real.

i hate to complain, i am just really home sick. i miss home. not that home is anything special or great; its just home. it's where ma famille is. j'adore ma famille. i am sick of being so far away from the life where i want to be. it's going on 5 years away from home, and i am just sick of having to make so much hoopla to get there....more so now that i am 3000 miles away than when i was only 400.

i need to find a job as close to home as possible. that is what i need to do. anyone hiring a project coordinator for a public health position? anyone need a epidemiologist? anyone need an environmental health specialist? anything! i will take anything....


actually, there is this job that i really want at roswell park. i hate to tease myself, but it would be a great job for me. i hate looking at that site and seeing jobs that i am qualified for. ugh!!!!!!!!!!

maybe i will just fuck school and fly home and get a job and be happy. yay!

this weekend was my trip to reno/carson city for the women's grassroots lobby days weekend. it sucked so bad for various reasons, so i left early. i am probably going to get a lot of shit for it, but im sorry, i thought it was going to be informative and insightful....well, i guess it was insightful for the sheer fact that I know realize why this state (Nevada) is so fucked up. I met the women that have power and mold education and healthcare here....they are all old, mean, rich and crabby ladies that are just straight up bitches. Its sickening to me....but everything now makes perfect sense.


i got a personal injury attorney and am now going to PT 3 times a week. It's insane....and scary at the same time. All of this legal stuff really scares me.


My sister comes in tomorrow. i am SO excited!



I love my dogs. really. they are awesome.

well, i went back to the ER today. My hives are out of control. come to find out, I AM ALLERGIC TO THE TATTOO INK. wtf? yea, like 1% of people who get tattoos end up being allergic to the ink used. awesome. but i have finally been prescribed some drugs that should fix it. we will see about this one.

but i get another day of excused work....wonderful drugs that make people way too sleepy to drive or operate anything. i guess i can't complain about that.

this week it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees! i am sooooooooo excited! but it's one more reason to give whores an excuse to wear hoochie skirts and tubtop belly shirts with stripper heals. I guess you take the bad with the good....


i don't know what else to write. i am too drugged to care at the moment. please forgive....

I still got in a car accident today anyway. Some dude rearended me on my comute to work this morning. I have damage to my car again.... car accident #2 sicne I have moved here. insane.

so i went to work. my head started pounding....then i thought about it, and yes, my head hit the steering wheel when the accident happened. i decided to go to the hospital, and after 5 hours of waiting, find out I have a concussion and whiplash, along with a severe allergic reaction (my hives), a throat infection, and a sinus infection (all of which are unrelated to the accident except for the concussion and whiplash). Man o man. So now my mom is like, "lets sue that fucker!" we will see about that mom....


bad things always happen in three's. this is my third this time around. I had my last "bad things" session when I first moved here: sophia's ear infection and surgery, my first car accident, and my grandmother dying).....This time it's hives, the phone, and car accident #2. how many htings can one person handle without becoming insane?

so this whole tattoo thing sucks even more (bare with me):

I switched from the A&D ointment to lotion yesterday....I bought lubriderm shea and cocoa butter lotion and started to use it this morning after the shower. My tattoo already was itching like hell, but when I got to work this morning, I realized it was starting to get hives around it. That's funny.....so I took a benadryl and continued my day. but then my feet got all itchy, and wearing flipflops today, I looked down at my feet and realized that my feet had hives too. So, I ran to the bathroom to check out my legs....HIVES ALL OVER! and of course, seeing the hives only made them itch more. So I took more benadryl and tried to work some more. By 2, I was woosy from the drugs, so I left and went home to lay down.

fastforward to now (11:20pm PT), my hives are out of control. So I took a shower to get any left over lubriderm that was on my skin off, because the only thing that could have made me break out in hives is the lotion considering that is the only thing that I have changed in the past day....and I put it all over my legs, tattoo (which is on my stomach) and my feet. ugh! So now I have these awful hives and I can't sleep, much less sit for a minute without freaking out. fuck this. I need a shot of cortizone or something to stop this itching. ugh!

So while I wait for my new phone to be delivered by DHL (see last journal entry) I thought I would write....

I have an evironmental health exam at 4. I am nervous, but I think i got this shit down pretty well. I am kinda nervous about reciting the nitrogen and carbon cycles, but at the moment I feel pretty good about it...

the tattoo is "healing" according to the ol' wise one, danny, becuase it itches like a mother fucker. and what's worse is that it's right on my pants line, so i haven't worn real pants in a week and a half. wtf. STOP ITCHING!!!!!!!

Next weekend I am going to Reno, NV for a legislative lobby/grassroots weekend with my friend Uzma. I am excited...considering I have never seen any of Nevada other than the shit city I live in....I hear nothern nevada is beautiful. so I'm down. The day I get back my sister comes in to LV....that should be fun.

And a skin update (for those of you who care):
Murad system is not working for my skin, so I am going to make an appointment with danny's dermatologist. Back to modern medicine i guess....something has got to give. Acne as a pre-teen, to a teen, to a young adult, and now to an adult. Will it ever go away? I am desperate at this point....

and, my dogs are all beautiful. I am one lucky person to have the wonderful animals I have....


and (e:lilho), i have to say, that metallic thingy jennifer hudson was wearing was quite awful. I definitely prefered the dress she wore after she accepted her oscar during the press conference.....much lovelier (if that is a word).

k all. happy tuesday.

start out with the tattoo experience:
haven't been tattooed in 5 years...and i certainly forgot how incredbily painful it is. After the artist told me it would only take 45 minutes, I thought, ok, I can handle this....2 hours later I was in agony still under the needle. I have to say, the end result is gorgeous and I am quite happy with my cover up of "henry" the radiohead monster with my beautiful hot pink tiger lily, but all in all, the experience was quite unbearable. Not to mention I had my first conversation with a stripper who works at a famous las vegas strip club about brazilian bikini waxes and how she thinks she wants to permanently have it lazered. whatever. painful experience....during and certainly after. I am still so sore while the healing process takes place....pics soon to come once healing is complete.

moving on to my next big hoopla:
One of my closest friends, mark lud, is in from buffalo visiting me. He is a big gambler, so I have been trying to take him to all the gambling super hot spots in vegas. He really wanted to see Binions Casino in downtown las vegas, since that is where the world poker tour used to be held for like 20 years. So last night, I met some of my friends there, along with mark, and hit up the bar while mark gambled a bit. While I was waiting for my friend Kristina to show up and waiting on other people to message me to tell me whether they were meeting up or not, I put my phone in my pants butt pocket so I could feel it vibrate. I had to go to the bathroom while I waited, so off I went to the binions ladies room.....while pulling down my pants, down went my phone, INTO THE BINIONS TOILET. ugh! I dind't even think about germs, and I just stuck my hand in the toilet to pick it up. EWWWWWWWWWWWW! So, not only was I devastated that my phone was fucked, my now i had gross binions toilet hand. I have always heard stories about people dropping their phones into toilets, but never thought it would happen to me. WELL it did. and it doesn't work. at all. i thought it would, but it doesn't'. so I spent all morning at verizon wireless and on the phone with the insurance company. The insurance company didn't believe me when I told them I dropped it into the toilet, so I had to go the verizon store to have a representative verify it wasn't working, but on my way there, realized it wasn't in the plaza it used to be. Yea, i had to drive all over to find one, since I dind't have a phone to call 411. i finally get there, and after announcing it to the entire verizon store and getting much sympathy from all customers, the very nice people there ordered me a new phone and it should be in on tuesday.


untill then, I am wireless-less. poop.



In other news, petey, the new puppy, is doing wonderful with the pugs. They are all getting along very well and it makes me happy....


Also, I dropped $100 on nothing tonight. After years of not gambling, I realized why I don't tonight. IT'S A FUCKING WASTE OF A WASTE. I thought i could gamble my way to a new juicy couture suit, but not only did i not win money, but im out. lovely. never again....


anyway, i hope all of you (e:peeps) are having better luck than me! Take care....

Well, long story short, Daniel and I always look on craigslist pet section to see what is going on in Las Vegas with Pets. We saw on saturday that a family was giving up their Japanese Chin who was only 5 months old because they no longer could take care of him anymore. Just so you all are up to speed, Japenese chins are my other favorite breed, but are rare and are mad expensive (like $5,000) hence the reason why we never got one. So, we contemplated all day on whether we could handle another dog...there are a ton of reasons why I thought it was a bad idea to get another dog, but in the end, I knew we had to get the little baby. So we called the owners and we met up in a park to see how the pugs would react to the little guy....things went great, so the owners just left him with us, with a small adoption fee of $200. It seemed as though the family just couldn't handle a puppy....they had 3 kids, the mom was sick and the dad had 3 jobs....so they never played with him and he didn't get the proper care he needed.

I know for sure we can take good care of him. Considering our dogs are our lives, they are all treated with huge amounts of love....and the puppy will have 2 other buddies to play with, so being played with is never a problem.

So, here is the new addition to our family:

The 3 puppies hanging out:


Petey:

well. I am at my epidemiology of infectious disease class. it is a huge waste of time. all it is is 3 hours of slides pertaining to nothing of the infectious disease sort. ANNYOING.

my tattoo appt is tomorrow. i am excited. i am also excited about getting my new versace glasses. I can't wait till they come in.


my friend mark is coming to las vegas on wednesday. i am excited about that as well.


all in all, i wish iwas in bed instead of this lab learning about nothing. ugh.