The good news is that i finally got some numbers today that i can live with. Allstate is going to give me about 50 bucks less than i paid for my car. Minus towing fees to take away my poor smashed up, but beloved, Blue Bitch. Their towing is a bit high, but it is worth it to not have to see her pathetic dead body in my driveway for much longer. Really, makes me cry to see my first car go like this... not even talking about my frustrations and stress over the whole thing.

Speaking of... thanks to those (e:peeps) for your support and sympathies.

I should have a check in my hand in a few days. And a couple of license plates without homes.

Finding them new homes might be tough. No one seems to have much in my very tight budget, and the task seems so daunting. I just do not want to be ripped off and end up with a lemon.

(e:MrMike) has suggested Mission Motors to me and a visit there yesterday didn't result in anything. Maybe i am being too picky. I would rather not have pieces missing. And i don't want an SUV or MiniVan. Great idea, going there.... maybe i should take a second look at the Chevy Beretta they had. I think it was an automatic...

Sadly, too, the dealer i got the Blue Bitch from has nothing in my price range.... i sorta kinda trust them.

Anyone else have any suggestions?

I really thought life was progressing well.. But lately, i feel as though i take one step forward and two steps backwards.

I was finally brave enough to learn to drive. It mostly had to do with landing what i thought might be an amazing job. Government work, but doing something i may have done in the private sector. But it is nothing like what i expected... and not the subject of this paragraph.. or post. It's driving. Why i learned. Why i bought the car. My Blue Bitch.

I have had the job since early June. A minor windfall allowed me to get a car. Not an expensive one, i could not afford that. But just under 3 grand, that i could do. And i found it. Shocked me that finding a car for that little was possible. So, in late May, i bought my very first car ever. A 1998 Saturn SL2.

I learned to love her, 'cause i didn't at first. At first, she was just wheels. I hated her, too, when her transmission started to leak. Then, just last week, some nice man told me what the problem was, and for about 30 bucks, she was almost good as new. Yay!

Then, it happened. Life went from being not so bad to unfair. While at a full stop, just doing what i was supposed to be doing as a responsible driver, a less responsible driver plowed into the back of me. I smacked into the car in front of me. And he banged into the poor 20 something year old who was just trying to make a left into his own driveway.

No one was hurt. Not seriously. But i think the dude in front of me is pulling a whiplash.... i got a letter from his insurance company.

I also got the accident report. The 79 year old man was inattentive, it says. To say the least. I think he should have been ticketed with reckless driving, too, since i think he was accelerating to go around me illegally.

Dealing with insurance companies is mindnumbingly frustrating. Of all the drivers, only one was not insured with Allstate. And, of course, they do not want to fight themselves, so they seem to be willing to sacrifice me. The one and only innocent bystander who does not have a car that runs. The other two have dings, but they can drive their cars. Who gives a shit about the stupid old man that was at fault. It is his mistake and he is the one that should suffer from it. Not me. Not the man in front of me. Not the man in front of him.

I did not have collision on my vehicle. Isn't that more or less the norm? Older car, no collision? But, even if i did, the claim would not go through my policy, but the person who is at fault.

I have had the car for less than 6 months.... and they want me to take a grand less than i paid for it? No. I cannot replace it for the price i paid. I just want a car that runs as well...

I wish i could take that amount from the insurance company for them to write off my car. Then, buy a reasonably similar car and sue the stupid old man for the difference... because no matter how you look at it, i am going to be at the very least $2000 poorer trying to find another car. No way my luck would allow me to find 2 decently running cars for $3000 within the same 6 months.

• sigh*

I can't believe how angry i am. Sitting here with my morning tea, a car that is not driveable and wee little black and blue and/or tender bits all over my arms and chest. When i think about the accident, i feel such rage at the man who caused it. I drive an old car, and did not carry collision on it... so, looks like unless i want to try some home repair on the driver's seat that is bent backwards or want to be on Judge Judy, i am carless again. Poop.

Well, it took less than 6 months. My first car accident. Nowhere near my fault, thank goodness. I was stopped waiting for someone who was waiting for someone to make a left hand turn into his own driveway, when some dumb fuck of an old man plowed into the back of me. He had been weaving for a mile or two behind me, i assume to try and pass me, the guy in front of me and the guy in front of him because we were all going the speed limit of 35 on Brighton, headed west near Delaware. So, when we all stopped, he either did not realize and tried to swerve to his right slightly, catching the left hand side of my back bumper. Or, what i think happened was that he excelerated to pass me on the right by going on the shoulder and, well, didn't, missing the shoulder and hitting my bumper instead.

As if i wasn't bruised enough from all the times i needed to be poked to get enough blood for my tests (3 more today, to get the 3 tubes of blood needed).

If anyone saw a redheaded chick driving a stuttering blue Saturn with bandaids all over her arms around the Buffalo General/Roswell Park area late this morning, then you had an (e:peep) sighting.

How is it possible that 2 phlebotemists could not manage to draw 3 viles of blood from any vein in any part of either of my arms? Needles in the back of my hands hurt like mad and i let them try both hands. They tried around both elbows. They tried the back and front of both arms, above and below my elbows. I feel like someone took a baseball bat to my arms. And i get to do it all over again.... tomorrow or the next day; whenever i am brave enough, i reckon. Shit, i am sure i could have done a better job myself. I never had trouble hitting a vein before.... but my motivations were slightly different back then.

On the upside of life, i may have stopped the stuttering of my car. I hope the dude at the Valvoline Oil Change in West Seneca was right, i just needed a new transmission filter... 'cause damn, if my Blue Bitch isn't running smoother than she has run since i got her.

(e:MrMike), i am such a bad fellow (e:peep)... i was at the zoo today, checking out the new exhibit and i did not call. I hang my head in shame. And, i totally need to get your work number (again?), so i won't ever repeat the social faux pas another time. Nice digs, though. I am looking forward to being on zoo grounds in the middle of winter in that nice toasty 80ish degrees... and be somewhere without getting rammed in the back of the legs with a stroller!! Woo hoo!!!