i feel this is the verb my tv is practicing all the time. it is much stronger than mere hypnotizing. i once made a comic about a little alien that lives inside of tv's and sucks brain waves and feeds them to big government, who in turn secretly allows the aliens to a) inhabit our planet and b) keep some of the brain waves for themselves, which are like candy or cake to them. they ran out of brain waves on their planet.

given that i feel this way, i should probably beat up my tv with a baseball bat and murther the alien with a butcher knife. also known as a chef's knife. also known as a french knife.

here i is, cause where the recipies at? ain't none, til me. yeah, thass right... i saw a funny thing on the tv about our genius prez in yet another brilliant address to the nation. he said, quote, in that friggin annoying "recap" style he uses for EVERYTHING, "lines of communication are now open.. (characteristic 5 second pause).. the left hand now knows what the right hand is doing." except as he did this he gestured which hand was which... and got it wrong. ha ha!! surprised anyone?

matt, the tortoise is hilarious in that picture since he looks 5 times his normal size. and scary! (which he isn't, so it's funny)

i just realized yesterday that i possess nothing that requires me to purchase insurance for. well, except a body, but that's ridiculous state of affairs anyway. why did the days pass when you'd give the good doctor a basket of eggs and sew him some curtains as payment. maybe half a heffer when killin time come. alas.