So I have recently become a fanboy of a local band. I first saw the Albrights when they played at Nietzsche's during Pride. It was one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Since then, I have gone to a few of their other shows and I plan on going to see them at Canalside when they open for Fitz and the Tantrums. *gush*

The problem is that their EP doesn't capture the intensity their live performance, or have the production level this band deserves. So when I share their music with people they find it enjoyable, but are not able grasp how god damned good they are. You just need to see them live. You will be hooked.

They have a new CD coming out in a few week. I'm buying it. Here's the first released single available streaming on bandcamp. This so is crazy catchy and well done. Still see them live sometime. Trust me.

If I could equate this particular song obsession to any other song obsession, I would say I'm in the 23rd hour of Happy and still going strong.

Soundwave

My free time is quickly becoming consumed by music. I'm either playing an open Mic, practicing, or thinking about practicing. I only complain because this was all very unexpected. It's nice to finally have the confidence to share this part of me with people and to have so much support from so many wonderful people.

I've been working on a whole bakery of new songs, and figuring this all out as it goes. I've realized I really like pretty dissonance, vague lyrics, and catchy (but not quite pop-y) melodies. I really have no way to gauge how enjoyable my songs are. I will admit I come face to face with a lot of self doubt when I'm writing. I'm not one to dig for compliments or seek validation. I just write things that are very personal and difficult to share sometimes. Oooff, I hate vulnerability. It's stupid.

I'm gonna share with you all the lyrics to a new song I will hopefully start performing next week:


I left myself in the room where I used to host dinner parties
Drifted away on a black plane
Caught as a falling fleck in a landslide
Caught in a crooked carousel ride

There was a time I didn't give a thought to blind entwine
Today I walk the streets and life no longer seems complete,
No longer seems neat
No longer seems so squeaky clean.
There was a time I was happy.

It's been 100 days
It's been 100 days
We all look the same

I have decided to go to another open mic night this Monday. Ugh.

Last Open Mic was almost two weeks ago. I was nervous all day, as I knew I would be. Performing makes me want to throw up even if I enjoy it more than most things (not bacon). I'm glad I've met such wonderful people over the past year and a half. I don't know if I've ever had a group of friends who would show up for an open mic to support me, and I cannot express how much I appreciated that (even though it probably made me a twinge more nervous). Everyone had my back and was cheering for me, and that was the most rewarding aspect of the whole experience. That and getting over my insane stage fright.

I know I have nothing to worry about, that I am very talented and that people generally enjoy listening to me. Music has been the one thing in my life I could always turn to, the one thing that I have consistently enjoyed. I learned how to read music before I could read words. I started playing the piano when I was 4, clarinet at 12, alto saxaphone and flute at 14, guitar at 19, harp at 20. But singing? I came out of the womb singing. If you look at the comments on my report cards growing up you'll find many comments that say "Erica sings frequently in class, it can sometimes be a distraction." I did talent shows as a kid. I went to school early to practice with my choir teacher - and many times stayed late to get some more practicing in. I sang classical and opera competitively all throughout High School. I made it to the All-State Choir. I even sang in Carnegie Hall. Truth. What the frick-frack am I so nervous about? Why is it difficult for me to get up in front of a half empty bar and do my thang to people who are only half listening (well, I'm gonna tell you why, don't worry)?

I hate being emotionally vulnerable. I don't just sing because I've always sang. I don't sing because I enjoy it. I sing because it is the only I know how to express my feelings (well, the only healthy way). I sing, not for attention, but to share with others my own vulnerable honesty. I sing because life has continually let me down to bring me back up. This isn't just sound waves reaching ears, this is who I am and all of the crazy that comes with it.

It wasn't until this past year that I moved on from caring about what people think. Trying to be invited into the "circle" and trying to be what everyone wanted. I've realized that I make the most rewarding connections if I am just myself as much as I can be. And that I am someone that people like to be around. And if they don't that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me. So that's what I'm striving for. Just to be me. Nothing more, nothing less. The circle no longer exists.

My goal for this next open mic is not to be less nervous. I can't do anything about those pesky nerves. It is not to be perfect or flawless. That goal is unattainable. I just want to be myself as hard as possible. I want to share with the half-empty bar that is half listening all of my trials and tribulations. To just get up there and do my thang-a-lang, and not give a damn what anyone else thinks.

Oh, and I'll be performing a new original song that no one has heard yet. So you might want to be there for history's sake.