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Leetee's Journal

leetee
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01/18/2012 16:18 #55935

Is There a 12 Step for This?
Hi, my name is Lee and i am addicted to Converse All-Stars.

The first time i tired a pair on, it was peer pressure.

I thought my big flat feet wouldn't fit into them, but with a little bit of encouragement, i was convinced the orange would look fabulous!

They fit!

Since then, i can't walk past a store if i know they have them...

I had to have a special shelf built in my home to house them.

Here are my latest pairs:

Black with an Anarchy A and a Peace Sign & Black and Green plaid.

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lilho - 01/18/12 19:52
i love mine, but they really really hurt my feet. i am addicted to truffle oil... i think you are probably ok and don't an intervention.
paul - 01/18/12 16:40
Okay Imelda. LOL. I love shoes. :::link:::

01/04/2012 09:36 #55846

Ovah
Less than a half hour ago, i left my last shift (11p - 9a) at the hell hole i called my work. No longer will i have to endure the boss calling me stupid to my face and behind my back; laughing at my tears when she was speaking ill of me; or having her go stone quiet from full volume when i enter a room. Some day, not at my hand, but with someone who really won't take it anymore, her game is going to come crashing down. I just hope she doesn't drag down too many others with her.
paul - 01/06/12 12:32
That is truly the best feeling ever. Despite how much I have enjoyed some of my previous jobs, there is no feeling like when its the last day.
leetee - 01/05/12 01:45
wow... ok, glad to have posted this. Most comments i've had in a while, thanks (e:Peeps).

(e:lilho), like you i think that negative energy given is what will come back. I, personally, am planning on working on that in 2012. I agree that eventually, what she is being given will be given back to her. I also know i am not the one who will do that... i am keeping my head held high -- other than bitching about how she treats me, i am doing what i can to not attack her the way she attacked me. Best i can do at this point....

(e:dragonlady) -- yes, indeed the woman we were speaking of at the NYE party. Her husband seems like a nice enough guy, always seems calm cool and collected.... according to the dirt at work, though, he cheated on her, so i guess she felt she needed to cheat too? Or attack any girl who she thought he was fucking? Not sure. However, i would love to know all the dirty little details! *gasp* Peerhaps she has "gotten it" in regards to derby, but not work, however, because she is in a position of power, and has distinct favorites. When it comes to the individuals in the house, she always said, in a rank of 8, that one of the girls there is her eighth favorite -- which is exactly the position i was in. Disliked.

In response to what Karma actually is.... my adorable husband, (e:Uncutsaniflush) said it best.

I am doing my best to not react, to let it all wash under the bridge and move on. Thank goodness for vacations!
tinypliny - 01/04/12 23:04
LOL, I am using your journal to erase bitterness from my mind and I think I have reached the point where I can actually do what the Gita is talking about.. today. :)
tinypliny - 01/04/12 23:02
(e:leetee), I am super glad you are out of that horrible situation that instilled so much ill will. I really hope your new position is nothing like this! Floating several chants your way. :)
tinypliny - 01/04/12 23:00
That is a really nice and succinct interpretation. :)

uncutsaniflush - 01/04/12 22:51
@ (e:tinypliny) - to me the idea of karma has 3 components:

1. If we meet bad acts with bad acts, we become linked to our oppressors by the commonality of our bad acts. And thus, we have bad karma.

2. It is not necessary for us to act in response to bad acts against us. Karmic forces will take care of it on a Cosmic level.

3. Indifference not hate, it is the opposite of love. When we hate we are just as linked to the hated, as we are to those whom we love.
tinypliny - 01/04/12 22:27
I am kind of going against the general sentiment here, but in my (albeit limited experiences) it has always been better to forgive people who have been irritating, annoying or downright nasty to me. I have often exclaimed how much I HATE some person or other. But the futility of such hatred always brings me down. Somehow, the bitterness and resentment that makes people expect that retribution has to somehow exist in nature eat away at their own soul and body in the long run.

I don't think human behaviour that we perceive as obnoxious always gets punished in ways that are mortally visible. It is better to accept this truth and try the hardest to control what you really can - i.e. be a generously forgiving person than expect divine/natural/indirect intervention. That, in a nutshell, is the concept of karma as I see it.

I read this post in the morning and this verse from the Gita just popped into my mind:
"Karmanye vadhika raste, ma phaleshu kadachana
{You only have rights to your own good deeds in life
and never to the fruits of such work}

Ma Karmaphalahetur bhoor, ma te sangoastva karmani ||
{there is no point getting attached to the thoughts of reward (or even punishment) for what you are supposed to do, because that is almost the same as getting attached to inaction.}

I am sure that is not the exact translation, because Sanskrit has several abstract layers and concepts. And of course, it was supposedly chanted by Krishna to Arjuna to make him fight a war (because he suddenly decides to just sit there in the middle of the battlefield and not do anything). But yeah, to me, it always brings the much needed re-focus and encourages me to forgive people. The results are *always* way better than holding on to bitterness.

metalpeter - 01/04/12 19:24
Now Karma even thought they don't call it that is a Part of Christianity... Remember I think it is Westboro Baptist Church.... They Protest Funerals well they believe or claim to that when Go along with sin bad things happen... It is the same idea... Yes they think that plane that crashed was because of homosexuality and the exceptance of it.... They don't think god took his hand and killed those people they think that it is Karma now they would never use that term.. That would be Blastphamous (sorry for the poor spelling) but it is the same idea.... If you look at the fast food kind...
metalpeter - 01/04/12 19:20
Now depending on how one thinks of Karma maybe she is being punished for something from a past life of past event and that is the reason for how she is?
lilho - 01/04/12 17:40
I was going to say I am authorized to start my own religion, other people do it all the time. Anyway, what comes around goes around... People should make an effort to not be jerks because eventually they will be on the receiving end.
dragonlady7 - 01/04/12 17:33
The western fast-food adaptation of karma is real enough, though, in that people who live their lives mostly taking pleasure from the misery of others are crowding themselves out of any room to have genuine pleasure in their lives. So she'll get it, one way or another, or maybe she's already getting it. If she's the woman we were discussing at the NYE party, she's already gotten it as far as we're concerned, she's the only person ever to be outright banned from our events. Ever.
Her husband was such an angel, though. Poor man deserves better.
Anyway-- CONGRATULATIONS on getting out of there!!! And I'm just catching up now-- I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana. I lost my gram almost exactly a year ago-- the 27th of December-- so I know how that is, and I'm so sorry your work were jerks about it. Mine, I had to literally sneak out to get to see her that one last time, but I succeeded and that was what was important...
So, condolences too.
tinypliny - 01/04/12 11:08
Hmm.. the hindu philosophy of karma does not come into action till the next lifetime. If you believe what our vedic lores have to say, you will have to forgive her from your heart and become neutral to your suffering for her to suffer some extra wretched lifetimes after this one is over.

The western fast-food/karma adaptation is kind of fun but is not hindu-approved. ;-)
lilho - 01/04/12 10:58
good for you, no one deserves to be treated like that.... i fully believe in karma so i wouldn't worry about that miserable woman.

12/31/2011 01:24 #55821

The Last Week!!
What a week!

Nana's funeral was as good as one can be. My brother did not punch my uncle Brad in the face like everyone was expecting/hoping/wondering. He cheated my brother in a business partnership that left my brother and his family with nothing -- lost their house, all the money they had and his business. My dad felt the pressure as the oldest and executor of trying to ensure everything ran smooth, but that was the funeral home's job, not his, i reminded him repeatedly. Grieve. That's your job.

I had an issue with my boss not really beleiving me that she died and i had to bring in a card from the funeral, an obit and a death certificate. Sheesh.

Then, i found out the new guy, a temp. with more seniority than me bumped me out of my shift. I am stuck on night shift. Lovely.

My mom is ill. She has COPD and a really really bad cold/virus according to her doctor. Today, i called to check in on my dad and see if she was doing better and it turns out she has pus/ooze coming out of her eyes. Go to the doctor! Why do people avoid going?

So, we went to Hamilton for the funeral. Took only 2 of the 3 days i could have not wanting for someone at work to be screwed over on the 24th.

Worked on the 24th (3p-11p) and 25th (7a-3p). Then to Hamilton for xmas and boxing day.

The stress got to me and my dad while we were cooking, trying to share a small kitchen space and do what my mom usually does and we have very little experience with.

Had a heart to heart with him that his ego was a bit injured when he didn't know what to do and mine was when he stepped in assuming i didn't know. Dynamics. *sigh*

Otherwise, those 2 days were quiet and peaceful. Played a lot of scrabble. Damn, i love that game... even when i am shit at it and i am in a brain freeze (90% of the time!).

Worked a 12 hour shift, carefully avoiding the boss. Went grocery shopping and got close to $800 of non-perishables to tide everyone over while i am on vacation.

Had issues with the human resources about a 4 hour time off thingie and had to run to the doctor to get another note. Apparently, just having a note saying you have an appontment is not enough. I needed to have one that said i went. *rolls eyes*

Then, the boss' boss' boss came in when i was the most experienced in the house and i got quizzed on procedures and medicaid plans.

When we left my 'rent's house i had a low tire warning sign with Gwen (it's what i named my MINI). We filled it up and it went away. But came back. It went away. It came back. Today, i had a flat. Blam... all the way down to the rim. Oh, and the dealer can squeeze me in in... uh... three weeks or so. WTF? So, i called Russo's Auto (not covered under warranty anyway) and they could take me.. WITHIN AN HOUR! Guess where i went?

After i left Russo's i went to work to fax over the doctor's note and to get my visa receipts signed... i forgot to get the reciepts signed from the other day... and again today. Damn it.

I wanted to check to see if i got any of the bids i put in, too, but the boss was on the phone and the computer. Darn.

Then, at 11pm a co-worker called me. He got his bid to another house (his is in West Seneca) and i got mine too. I got a full time gig with the state!! YAY! Best way to end a pretty shitty week.

2012 WILL be betters! It will. It will!
tinypliny - 01/04/12 11:05
Good luck with the new job, (e:leetee)! Sending you hope and wishes! :)
metalpeter - 12/31/11 17:20
Sounds Crazy Congrats on the full time.....

I'm not siding with the boss.... But bet the boss has been burned in the past or has used "The Grand Parent thing" themselves Reason I " " it is cause a lot of people use that to get out of work.... Now that doesn't mean they have to be a dick about it... All they need to do is go Ok take the time but if you don't prove it that is 3 days off with out permission.... One can be Professional and stick to the letter of the law with out being a dick but it sounds like your boss didn't do that.... In fact where I work (not my department) but they are mega strict on time off.... They give you so much sick time each Year... Now if you use more then a certain % in a certain amount of time it is held against you.... Also say you call in and say my kid is sick gotta stay home....You aren't paid cause your kid is sick not you.... Didn't ask for the time off so can't use Vacation time.... So Car breaks down, kid is sick, you get locked up, chained to a bed what ever...You have to lie and say you are sick.... Not a way to run a company.... The Point I'm trying to get to is try not to let the BS bother you... Trying to remember when my father died what I had to bring in.... Maybe the obit was enough.... My Boss was at the Memorial Service... Not cause he didn't believe me but hard to explain the environment there was a bit odd.....
heidi - 12/31/11 12:46
WOW! That's an awful lot of intensity capped by wonderful news! Congrats, (e:leetee)!!!

12/22/2011 10:57 #55786

RIP Nana
When i was at work yesterday, my phone rang and it was my mom & dad's number. Since i am not supposed to have my phone with me, i couldn't answer it so i asked a co-worked if i could step out for a second. The voicemail was a hangup, so i knew something was wrong.

My dad's mum died. At 2am on the 21st. Arrangements are being rushed together because of the holidays. But it was expected. She had slipped into what the nursing home presumed to be a light coma (if there is such a thing, it wasn't a deep coma) a few days earlier. And she had basicly stopped eating for months. Unless it was a can of coke, she wasn't interested.

I was not working at my usual location. I was doing ot at another house and at the day program with 5 individuals. The staff at the program were so nice to me. Ned told me to take as much time as i need to do the job. Greg wore a funny girl's headband making funny faces and trying to make me laugh. Ms K gave me a hug (she is so NOT a toucher!). When i got back to the house, the other staff were also so sweet, finishing my paperwork and letting me go a few minutes early to go get a coffee or something before i had to go to my other ot house.

I got to the second house a bit earlier than i was expected and when i told them all why, they were so sweet, asking me if i wanted to keep busy or sit in the corner of the living room and read a book. I kept busy, and even though it is not my usual house, i was able to find lots of chores to complete.

Then, i called my house to tell them i need to call off for 2 days so i can go to the visitation and funeral. Talk about opposite results. I got a frosty reception at best. The supervisor told me the documents i should bring to get the time off....

My dad seems to be doing ok. Stressing about things that don't matter all that much. Bargain shopping for places to have the reception (funeral home vs the church she went to for over 40 years?) is just something he can worry about instead of his mother dying.

I was close with her when i was a kid. She took me to her church a lot. That church is the reason i became disenchanted with religion. Holy roller baptists who showed little kids films of the people left after the rapture getting their heads cut off by the devil.... By my teen years, my Nana told me the devil will take me because i am unable to bear children....

But as she aged, she mellowed and became nicer.... and told me i was doing "God's work" taking care of developmental disabled people with behavior issues.

Bitter sweet. RIP Nana.

leetee - 12/23/11 19:59
Thanks (e:Peeps), all of you for your condolences. I really do appreciate it.

You are so right, (e:Paul), i am lucky i still had grandparents. She was the last one...

Just got back.... got the paperwork and cried. Feel much betters now. My dad is hanging in there. I offered to help clean out her room at the nursing home if he can wait until the 25th or 26th....
matthew - 12/23/11 18:07
Hang in there, Lee. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
tinypliny - 12/23/11 15:34
Sending you good vibes, (e:leetee). Sound like your grandmum had a rich life!

Maybe the supervisor had some holiday challenges of her own. Here's hoping things get better soon at work and in general!

Good luck, (e:leetee)!

terry - 12/23/11 14:51
I am very sorry for your loss. And for the dumbass at your work that you ahve to deal with.
ladycroft - 12/23/11 07:52
I'm sorry to hear about your Nana :(
Big hugs.
paul - 12/22/11 23:44
So sorry to hear about your nana. You are so lucky to still have had grandparents.
mrmike - 12/22/11 22:29
So sorry, Lee, the paperwork request stinks from the boss. Good vibes to you
metalpeter - 12/22/11 18:07
Sorry For your loss.....
flacidness - 12/22/11 17:28
I'm so sorry dear. Well wishes and happiness I'm sending your way.
heidi - 12/22/11 15:46
I'm sorry for your loss, (e:leetee). Complicated stuff.
leetee - 12/22/11 12:52
Thanks (e:LIbertad); you are a very sweet and kind person.

Yeah, i totally think that my boss thinks i am making up a dead grandma. She is a suspicious person. Of course, the fact that i am asking for 2 days not the allowed 3 plus i am returning to go to work on Saturday and Sunday probably does not factor into any of it at all.
libertad - 12/22/11 11:09
I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana. It sucks that they gave you a hard time about taking off for a funeral. I wonder if they thought you were making it up?

11/19/2011 11:12 #55548

My Baby!
I have a MINI!!

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paul - 11/19/11 19:55
Congrats. Its so cute. I have a bumper sticker for you.
metalpeter - 11/19/11 17:12
Sure you will enjoy it....
heidi - 11/19/11 14:03
So cute! Congrats!
tinypliny - 11/19/11 12:10
Looks very grand. :) Enjoy!