day 8:

protein bar

turkey chili

hummus

carrots

grapes

banana

coffee with hazelnut creamer

triscuit crackers

i really can't remember what else...

day 9:

protein bar

banana

apple

hummus with pretzel chips

lobster spring rolls

at sushi bar: yellowtail and tuna, both raw...mmmmmm

saki martini

vodka soda

tiny bit of hummus and carrots

spoonful ben and jerry's

• this was a cheat day because i forgot that spring rolls are fried... oh well, and alcohol is loaded with calories.

(e:enknot), i spent 3 months eating burgers and not working out. i think i can take a break from that for a while. i also find that eating better has better for me digestively, since i have lots of problems. i don't feel bloated or sick to my stomach as much. it also feels like such a waste if i workout and then eat crap... kinda pointless

it has really been a rough year for me, getting fired for retaliation and fighting that, meeting my father and dealing with those issues, and struggling to stay on task with school. i also have had many friendships that ended, and that's always hard. however, forcing myself to work through all of this and the depression i am pretty proud of myself. it isn't to accept certain things in life, especially mourning the absence of a parent. the point i am trying to make is, it is really rewarding to not give up. i finally feel like i am on the other side of things and my hard work is paying off... i am so close to graduation and i can't wait!

i never thought i would want to teach high school, but the teacher i work with is so amazing and inspirational. the students know she really cares and they respond to the way she treats them with respect. the students are also so respectful of me, and they get excited to see me. i think this is probably the best feeling in the world. i know a lot of my peers having really bad placements and don't want to teach high school, or maybe teach at all. i think working with a great teacher makes all the difference, because teaching is truly a talent not all people possess.

hopefully, i'll make a good teacher. i really love building relationships with students and getting to know them. it's so different than any other job i've had.

i was invite to the honors society, but i am too busy now... maybe next semester. it's cool to be invited either way.

i found out that some student are being investigated for academic dishonesty. apparently they took a test online and submitted the same written responses. the teacher said was an open exam, so why would you even consider completing it with someone else? if they have to appear in front of the dean, they will be kicked out and who knows if they can attend university again... all of that work wasted when they are so close to graduation.

i have my tickets for vegas and blo!!!!! i'll being spensing lots of time with those cute little baby nieces of mine, and my brother and (e:tina).... and the boys.... so excited!!!! bl- dec 27-jan 2, woot!

apparently this was the day that people i used to be friends with blasted me with annoying emails. uh, there's a reason we don't speak anymore so let's keep it that way.

i sent (e:tina) a sephora gift card last night. i love giving gifts and i can't wait until christmas because i know little zooey is going to be so spoiled and go mad over all of the gifts we give her. christmas with little kids is so much more fun!!!!

so here's what i ate:

protein bar

half a korean pear(they are huge)

cheese crisp crackers

hummus

carrots

string cheese

pepperoni

two organic chicken tenders

bit of ranch

i did some circuit training yesterday morning and then went for a 2.5 mile walk/run last night. i'm proud of myself for actually sticking to this healthy plan for more than 2 days. i also actually feel better all around too... it's amazing what happens when i don't gorge myself full of crappy food.

Get a life.

today i ate:

1 egg

toast lightly buttered

tortilla soup

carrots

half a korean pear

protein bar

whole grain pita chips, about 10

hummus, 3 table spoons

1 tomato

string cheese

prosciutto

other than some things being too salty, this is my best day yet. i feel good, and i am nooooooot tempted to eat crap or candy. plus it's also saving me money to plan out all my meals and only eat at home or bring my lunch to school, internship, work.

i kant believe kim k.... krazy. if she kant find love, who kan? i want to know so badly, who was the krook in this case.... her for wanting publicity? him for using her? or both of them????

have you ever worked out so hard or been so out of shape that you threw up after?

right now, that's basically me.

i really don't want to throw up though, so i am trying to hold it in.

count on any jillian micheals dvd to do that to you. i swear even people in really good shape suffer through those things. it's pretty much 50 minutes of bootcamp. i think the reason they are so hard is that you use mostly your own body weight for resistance, and if you have a few extra pounds it makes it that much harder.

anyway, day 5:

2 cups coffee with hazelnut creamer

1 egg

1 piece lightly buttered toast

1 piece ciabatta bread pizza with tomato, pesto, evoo, cheese

1 slice provolone

banana

and maybe a pear and vegetable soup for dinner

i'm hoping i can walk tomorrow, i need to at least hike or something but jillian has left with me little strength lol.