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Joshua's Journal

joshua
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06/29/2009 12:28 #49123

Another Admission
This is more direct and will probably be more controversial, but I suspect that it might start an interesting conversation. Or not. This time I'm not admitting something I don't like about myself but rather something maybe a little more unusual. I bet I'm not alone on this one either.

More than once I've found myself attracted to a girl that I found out later was a lesbian. Actually, this might be my least favorite thing about the pride parade - almost every year I see a fine lady and Cupid plays a cruel and unusual joke on me. I'll see a girl that gets my heart pounding, then a second later she'll be holding hands with another girl, and then a minute later they're kissing. SON OF A! Off the market, move along soldier. I love girls regardless of their own sexuality, apparently!

I have to laugh at myself. I'm sure this has happened to everybody (a lesbian attracted to a straight girl, etc.). I love you girls anyway - ALL of you!
theecarey - 06/30/09 23:28
c'est la vie! I dont know what it says, if anything. But I feel your pain. Often, way too often some guy I am actually attracted to is well, gay. Bi often works in my favor, but honestly, only when they are more about me. Regardless of the dynamic (ie; whether you are front and center or on the back burner), it is fun nonetheless, but still something likely to consider if going for a bi-girl, and what you want from them.

metalpeter - 06/30/09 20:59
I have never had that happen to me. But I can get how that feels. As a Pride Parade example look at the Roxy's Float (I assume they are all lesbians I wouldn't know) and at least the ones on the truck all look smokin hot.
leetee - 06/30/09 11:09
I have a friend who's first girlfriend was a bit gender bender looking. His first love. Many years and a divorce later, he had a run of 3 girlfriends in a row that broke up with him because they realized they were gay. Now that is a cruel twist of fate for the guy....
joshua - 06/30/09 09:58
I'd be up for a bisexual girl - no problems there! Oh, I have a new one for you all to consider that I'm about to write about.
lauren - 06/30/09 08:24
I am right there with you (e:matthew) and (e:tinypliny)! although mine is perhaps a new twist? Often enough I have seen people of either sex and thought, if only they were the "opposite" sex they would be attractive...I guess I just like boys who look like girls and girls who look like boys. And don't worry (e:Joshua), for every lesbian out there you find attractive, there is probably a straight (or hey, maybe even bisexual?) girl waiting in the wings.
tinypliny - 06/29/09 12:57
HAHAHA (e:matthew), I once talked to this extremely charming person for a complete 5 minutes before I realized she was not a boy. It was so hilarious later that I still can't help laughing when I think about it. I think that might have been one "realistic" person that I might actually have been interested in - at least in the past 4 years. HAHAHAHA
tinypliny - 06/29/09 12:52
Why stop there? I would add being obsessed with highly unrealistic people to this list. I don't even want to list the names on my recent unhappy OMG-I-am-*this*-obsessed list. :/
matthew - 06/29/09 12:52
lol its funny but ive had the same problem..er..sorta. Sometimes when im out i see a really cute boy across the bar, only to get a closer look and i realize it's not a cute boy after all, but a cute girl.

06/28/2009 11:59 #49107

I Disappoint Myself Sometimes
I've kept my blog relatively light-hearted for a while, but today I wanted to share with you guys something that really bugs me about myself. This is about an aspect of my personality that I dislike and would like to work on and change a bit.

I know myself and where I stand with my friends fairly well. I'm secure with myself more or less, although there are things that I wish were different, which is a statement that I think most people would make. I know that amongst my friends I'm broadly well-liked and amongst the more popular ones, even when I've been kind of reclusive. People do like me and I don't know why... but I'm thankful!

There is something about my personality that I hate and I feel like at times it betrays that sentiment from my friends and colleagues. Once in a while a pet peeve of mine will be in front of me, my thought process halts and a swift rush of annoyance hits me, and I'll stop what I'm doing and do whatever I can to stop that pet peeve. I'll even be vicious about it if I feel like someone is being annoying to me or a friend. Then, on occasion, I'll realize after the fact that I should have taken a different approach because my instant reaction to the pet peeve that I just described clouded my judgment, making me take too heavy handed an approach to begin with. Then I'll apologize, because I thought about it for a minute and realized that I was horrified with how I reacted.

I'm betraying myself when I do that. What it comes down to is that I am not giving people the benefit of the doubt at times, and I need to do that more because it is all that I would ask of anyone else to do for me if I were misunderstood or misinterpreted.
tinypliny - 06/28/09 13:32
Yea, confession time! I am horribly judgemental sometimes - and I hate it and it makes me repent all the time. I am hasty in passing judgements on people who:
a) whinge - it makes me resentful towards them - which actually makes me a whinger.
b) are indifferent - again I feel resentment towards their attitude - when its totally not my business.
c) are insincere generally - who am I to even call them insincere.

I say I need to practice the non-judgement live-with-flaws-and-let-live-with-even-more-flaws more this year.
paul - 06/28/09 12:54
I think I know what you mean but can you give a specific example, even if it is a hypothetical one.
metalpeter - 06/28/09 12:45
Not sure what to say really other then that I think most people have stuff about them selves they hate. I know I have many things. But from what this sounds like is that you want to try and change what you don't like. Hopefully you will be able to, most people aren't able to.

06/26/2009 14:57 #49090

If You Love My Shades Then Just Admit It
Ray-Ban has a utility that allows you to "try on" different models of sunglasses. I've been thinking about replacing my current aviators with a new model, or perhaps the Wayfarer type. Here's a screenshot of the utility while in use -

image

The aviator model is entirely different than the model I currently wear - different shape, different lens size, different manufacturer. What I'm really interested in, although you can't seem to pick it specifically, is the black metal frame aviators with the dark green lenses... the sort of classic Ray-Ban setup.

I dunno. Sorry about not shaving, by the way, but then again if I don't have to apologize to my boss why am I apologizing for the public at large? Haha. Which do you think are best?

EDIT: X-factors, for fun. Sorry for the fuzzy picture but it's kind of dark.

image

EDIT: XXX-factor, no pr0n involved - I give you my brother. Hot like lava, y'all -


image

image
jenks - 07/03/09 08:37
The wayfarers are ok, but I still dig the aviators. They're timeless.
I have mixed feelings about girls wearing them.
Sometimes they look great, sometimes it's more like 'hey look at me, don't i look cool in these glasses? huh? huh? look at me LOOK AT ME! This is trendy!"
metalpeter - 06/27/09 19:16
Well along time ago I used to have white shades, but that was ok because they where the "Macho Man" Randy Savage Sunglasses I think I still have them they might be on the Ultimate Warrior currently not sure. But that brings up a point You could call white shades on a guy depending on style Laguna's also if you wanted to.
vincent - 06/26/09 22:41
I'd have to go with the aviators in the top comparison and then with the bottom three the glasses on the right hand side. To me I just don't get the 80's goggle look. I didn't care for it much then and I certainly don't go for it now. What really gets me is the white sunglasses that are out there these days, guys should not be wearing white shades.
theecarey - 06/26/09 21:23
Hmmm, I am partial to the Aviators on you. I'm usually not a fan, but you pull them off quite attractively. (our new site troll will be jealous)

and for Mr. Hot Like Lavaâ„¢, the 3016 are working for me. or him. You know what I mean!
mrmike - 06/26/09 21:15
I dig the 3016 model. Used to have them a lot, haven't been able to find them in ages.
tinypliny - 06/26/09 20:42
This post will go down in the (e:history).
joshua - 06/26/09 20:40
Come to think of it this is kind of rare, Jay normally doesn't make many cameos in my blog.
joshua - 06/26/09 20:40
Yep.
tinypliny - 06/26/09 20:36
LOL this is getting hilarious. Are both of those "Jasons"?
tinypliny - 06/26/09 20:13
HAHAHAH... I am absolutely just admitting it. I <3 ^5 your sunglasses with the pout!!
joshua - 06/26/09 20:06
I should rename this journal entry to "If You Love My Sunglasses Just Admit It."
tinypliny - 06/26/09 19:40
"suspect that I have an asymmetrical head..."

Naaah, that's just you displeased about something. ;-) Quite honestly, you do have a very pleasant face and smaller snappier glasses are the way to go!
joshua - 06/26/09 19:39
The aviators I have right now are 52mm width, which I think is slightly too small for my liking. On the other hand my brother has the frames I'm looking for and when I wear them they feel cavernous by comparison (they are 58mm). I can't tell if they are simply too big, or if the difference is so large that it seems exaggerated in my own mind.

What I want for aviators are a gunmetal type frame, or black, frame model 3025, and either smoke or Ray-Ban's green lenses, preferably polarized. I think the Wayfarers are cool as well, and those are the sort of shades you can hang onto for 30 years and they'll never really totally be out of style. That Virtual Mirror tool is kind of fun, maybe I'll edit this and throw in an "x-factor" for you guys to evaluate.
tinypliny - 06/26/09 19:37
"Big sunglasses make ugly girls look pretty"

Sssshushhh... Think of the chaos this might cause in the known planetary systems were this truth more universally known!!!


joshua - 06/26/09 19:34
(e:tiny) I suspect that I have an asymmetrical head but I'm not sure.
metalpeter - 06/26/09 19:00
I Can't say what ones are better really. I just have to comment on something (e:heidi) said. I don't think either of those are big sunglasses. What I call big ones I call Leguna's . Yes they are those huge sunglasses that make ugly girls look pretty. Just because you where them doesn't mean you are ugly. But what they do is cover so much of your face that they change how you look. I call them Lagunas because those girls on Laguna beach wore them and then it seemed like all the Buffalo Area girls started wearing them. I would like to get those ones they make for men with the diamonds that are real square and almost look pimp like you have all seen them, but I want a twist I want something speeled out on the side peace like Metallica or deathklok or something like that and then I can look all California and use them up on top of my head to hold my hair out of my face with some metal style t-shirt.
tinypliny - 06/26/09 18:17
Weeeeeelll, in that case, you are 1000x hotter. *wink* *Super wink*


I think you would look even hotter in slightly smaller framed glasses. Show that symmetric face off more. :)
joshua - 06/26/09 17:55
Yes that is exactly what I'm doing Tiny. =/
heidi - 06/26/09 17:36
I think both of them are too big but I may just have a bias against large glass/sunglass frames. I like the wayfarer shape better.
tinypliny - 06/26/09 17:08
Are you giving Luka Magnotta a run for his money?


06/25/2009 13:09 #49077

Sympathy for the Pathetic
People don't hate people because they are beautiful. People hate people because they incessantly remind others how beautiful they think they are. Do you know how hard it is to feel sympathy for a narcissist?

It doesn't have to do with jealousy - there is an intrinsic (and incorrect) assumption here that other people are as obsessed with their looks as the narcissist is with his or her looks. Some people go their whole lives without giving an apparent shit about how they look and manage to be happy, whereas the narcissist is constantly unhappy irrespective of how great or terrible they look. I don't understand the conspiratorial aspect of the narcissist's personality. Maybe Hitler could sympathize?
jason - 06/26/09 09:01
Being "hot" is nice, but that doesn't impress me so much these days. I've dated hot girls that ended up being conniving bitches. Attraction is important, don't get me wrong, but if she doesn't have compassion for people? If she has her head up her ass? She might as well look like Quasimodo. Things change when you get older.
metalpeter - 06/25/09 19:22
I do agree with most of what you say, except. There are some people who do hate Pretty People, because of the way they get treated better. Then there is something in the black (not really only black) community that I don't get called Hatin. It is like someone else has something and you don't like them because of what they have, again I don't know it well enough to get what it really is.
tinypliny - 06/25/09 18:56
Ooohhh that reminds me. I need to listen to Strapping Young Lad!! HOW could I have forgotten about them for a whole 3 years??? Very un-strapping of me!
joshua - 06/25/09 17:50
Terry is a strapping young buck! It's because he's Scandinavian.

I have friends that girls think are 5-alarm hot, although we have noted possible disagreements on some of these friends in the past have we not (e:hodown)? One particular buddy has been the historical stud of the group and he is the type that doesn't really think much about whether or not he's "hot."
james - 06/25/09 14:25
Don't feed the trolls.
hodown - 06/25/09 13:23
I couldn't agree more.

I could list a litany of beautiful women I personally know (starting with (e:business) cheese- beautiful, amazingly smart, rocking bod) and yet I'm not jealous. I feel blessed to have such an amazing person in my life but I'm not jealous.

Ans then there is (e:Terry). Smoking hot and yet could care less, for the most part, about his looks and is super lucky to have not one but two hot dudes!!

06/18/2009 18:08 #49000

iPhone, Flowers
I'm a Luddite - I never want to own an iPhone or a Blackberry. All I need is a basic phone - do you guys remember the type with numbered buttons on it and nothing else? Yeah, that's for me. I don't need to be tied to the Internet 24/7 wherever I go and I certainly don't need availability to e-mail constantly. Neither are "must have" items in my view. For me it's a novelty, an accessory used to try to impress people or to indicate to other like-minded people that you are part of their crowd. In other words I think a lot of bullshit is tied into owning an iPhone, no different than a lot of bullshit goes into owning Apple products in general. The worst are the insufferable types who actually believe that owning Apple products makes you a superior person. (You usually see these people sprout in public blogs and forums when new technology is released). Blackberry - it is an obligatory part of the office douche toolkit, say no more.

For those of you who actually get meaningful utility out of these devices - I don't understand you.

EDIT: Oops, I wanted to post pictures of the flowers -

image

Not sure what these guys are.

image

These bushes are hit or miss at the moment, but the good flowers are very good. I love how these turn from red at the bud, through the rainbow to orange and finally to yellow.

image

See?

image

Another nice bloom.

image

A picture of my birthday beer, for the hell of it. (Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA, aged a short time)
jason - 06/19/09 18:56
The times I say "Man, I really wish I had an iPhone right now" are few and far between, but if I lived in a place like SF I would almost certainly have one. It's a nice piece of tech. I don't like texting on it - same with the Crackberry touchscreen version, but I don't do a ton of texting anyway.

Now, the curious moral superiority issues some Apple people have - that is certainly worthy of a rebuke. Sometimes I think they should get a grip and just be happy. Those people are the ultras though. Most people are basically just your basic user.
joshua - 06/19/09 12:29
(e:matt) - it is different strokes for different folks I suppose. I've had plenty of experience goofing with these units and for me it would be a frivolous investment... more of a toy than anything else.
jim - 06/19/09 12:26
I love my iPhone, and my Mac. ^_^
matthew - 06/19/09 11:59
I used to have a laptop and a basic phone. Now I just have an iPhone and I'm very happy with it. It does everything I need it to. I don't see what's so hard to understand about liking it. It's seems to me that the people who complain the most about smart phones are the people who haven't used them (much).
tinypliny - 06/19/09 07:45
Hahah I will go a step further and say that I don't want ANY phones in my day-to-day life. Speaking over the phone makes me uncomfortable and edgy. I hate phones.

That looks like a yellow rose... Does it smell like one?
vincent - 06/19/09 01:09
I would love an iPhone, but I'm stuck with Verizon as they are the only carrier that I can have where I live that doesn't lose the battle of signals to the Canadian carriers. For me I'd love to trade stocks and even be a horseball betting horses. Oh Yea, VZ also has the shittiest phones to choose from so I'm always doing an over analysis when it comes time to trade in.
theecarey - 06/18/09 21:08
my next phone will likely be bare bones basic. I rarely use my three year old PocketPC for anything other than the occasional text or phone call- and it does so much more, it is crazy.

Love the flowers- I'm obsessed with orange right now, so those roses (?) are quite gorgeous.
joshua - 06/18/09 20:36
(e:Z) you raise a good point - it's very useful for public transit. In some cities they have websites that allow you to track trains and buses live via the GPS technology, and it's really cool - by the second it will tell you how soon the train or bus will be at your stop. So yeah, I can see how the iPhone would be useful for that.

(e:heidi) I'd say the 90-minute is my standard IPA lately... it is a great beer. Have you tried their Palo Santo? It's a little darker and has a unique flavor, having been aged in vessels made of very special wood (the South American sister to frankincense - and those vessels are made here in Buffalo!).
zobar - 06/18/09 19:49
Heh, this was a couple of days ago: :::link:::

Work gave me an iPhone when they first came out and I really wasn't jazzed by it. But the most recent software upgrade [before the Big One that is supposed to be coming out] added the great feature where you could type in where you want to go, optionally tell it where you are, and it'll show you where to go for the next bus and whether you need to run or dawdle. Since it cross-references multiple schedules and computes transfers it's much better than paper schedules. When you rely on public transit, every minute counts and the fastest way between two points is not always a straight line. It's not as good as having another car, but it's about $15,000 cheaper, numsayin?

- Z
heidi - 06/18/09 19:17
i love love love dogfish head 120 min IPA. 90's good too. the 60 seems weak after the 90 & 120. Happy birthday again! :-) Nice flower shots. Did anyone see the neat orange cone shaped flowers on the circle at W.Ferry & Richmond? I'd love to know what they are.
metalpeter - 06/18/09 19:06
Here is the weird thing I want a cell phone with a camera and video and all the internet stuff. I would never call anyone. The reason is so that say I'm at say a Deathklok concert I can take a few pictures and then mobile post them (how ever you do that) from the concert to both (e:strip) and Facebook and if it is easy to do myspace also. The thing with iphone and blackberries (and those new Nikon cameras) I don't trust the touch screens. Your hands sweet and pick up grease and I'm betting that like the screens at stores where you pay the screens can go bad. When those screens started out you used your fingers but with finger prints and stuff they would get messed up, now even with those stylis things that don't allways work right.