Trips to Felly's parent's house are always interesting. The beauty of that area is like no other...the huge mansions/castles sitting on itty bitty little islands...looking at the water and trying to wrap my mind around the fact that it is a river...I love it. And it is small and quaint and all that stuff that I like about my home... My only beef is that her mother smokes a lot...and I can smoke in her house, and don't have to hide it (like with my parents) which means I smoke. Alot. And I almost forgot what its like to be in a smoke filled environment...I woke up the first morning with a dry throat and stuffy nose, which certainly was the result of a combination of sleeping in smoke and voluntarily smoking too much.

I need to quit. On top of that fact that they raised to price of cigarettes by $1.25 or something like that...I have been smokin for way too damn long. Gross. Someone said to me that people who smoke don't love themselves...and I have to disagree. When I started smoking I didn't love myself. True. How many people are lucky enough to love themselves when they are 12? I didn't love myself and I wanted to be like all the "cool kids" The bad kids, the outlaws if you will. And for the most part, it worked. I made friends and they all smoked. The problem is no longer that I don't love myself. The problem is that I am a habitual person, and I am addicted and as much as I hate to admit it, I like smoking, some of the time. Mostly I am like...this is effin gross and why am I still doing this and I can't breathe and what the hell is wrong with me? I want to make this very clear...at least for me, I am not walking around thinking how great it is that I smoke and I am never quitting and fuck all you people who think that smoking is wrong. I know people like that, but I am not one of those people.

Anyways. Rant rant rant.

I have to buy a dress. A dress. I think the last time that I bought a dress was for my senior prom...7 years ago. I have one dress in my closet which was given to me by a friend and I have never worn it in public. Ha. At least I can buy one dress and use it for all three weddings. Don't even get me started on shoes. I am going to have to find something that is a casual as possible, with no heals, that I can multi-purpose, otherwise it will be one giant waste of money.

OK...I am done. I have to go to target in hopes of finding a vacuum belt from 1973 to fit my vacuum. Two cats and a dog means I vacuum a lot. I wish I had $400 dollars for one of those fancy vacuums. I would be in heaven. Does that make me a housewife??

Grr. can anyone please tell me why all people wanting to get their PhD must speak at least two, maybe three languages? Maybe, just maybe I am wrong on this...but how many people show "proficiency" on a language exam and then *poof* magically forget how to speak anything beyond, "hola, como esta?" within a week?? This to me is like math. I haven't taken a godam math class since my sophmore year and I rejoiced knowing that I would never have to do it again. The same for my sad and pathetic attempt at German for two semesters. Now don't get me wrong, I would love to be able to speak Spanish. It to me is the most useful in my line of interests, but shouldn't I be focusing on my dissertation? Shouldn't I be past all this standarized test BS?!?! Shouldn't people within the academic world be equally as frustrated and annoyed by this as me? Maybe I am overreacting, but I SUCK at foreign languages just as much as I suck at math. If one were to take all my math, science and foreign language grades off my transcript it would be impeccable. Maybe me scowering through the already limited pool of Women's Studies PhD's for no langauge requirement is pathetic, I don't know. But grr. Grrr.

I feel better.

Ok. This is getting ridiculous. We cannot walk our dog without getting accosted by random people everywhere we go. There is the dude bro from across the street who yells "Ralphie" and runs over and lays down in the middle of my driveway rubbing his face all up in my dog. There is the strange man who owns/runs whatever the jewelry shop down on the corner and apparently all of his friends who says Ralphie should be the next block mascot. There are random folks who pull their cars to the side of the road to ask about Ralphie and there are random girls who I can hear screaming and squeeling from their open car windowns. And there are of course your Elmwood dog walkers who have some little cutey of their own but are nonetheless mesmerized by my dog. Phew.

I don't mean to sound bitter. For the most part I think it is super cute and Felly and joke about how Ralphie needs sunglasses to hide from the puparazzi. Yes, we are that gay. Anyways, but sometimes I just want a nice quiet walk with no interruptions. Maybe I should get a shirt that says "Boy. Ralphie. 11 weeks. Mini Dachshund. No, you can't take him home".

But on the bright side, I have to admit that all of a sudden I feel like I am a part of this community, which is something that didn't happen before. And it really is Ralphie. he brings out the best in people. People who would otherwise be in their own little worlds, frowning, unresponsive human beings, brighten right up when they see him. They smile and I smile and for that second all is well with the world.
Ahhh, cute things.

Everyone should check out channel 2, 4, and 7...live police standoff on 190...

I am falling in love with my dog. He is soooo cute and so little and so needy. I feel like a new mom. the first night we got him Felly had to go to sleep early and Ralphie was crying and wimpering so I picked him up and pet his little head till he fell asleep. At 3am. All day yesterday I was exhausted because not only was I up late because of the whining, but he also woke me up at 7am!! I have been cleaning up pee and poo on an hourly basis. It really really really puts into perspective what it could be like to have an actual human child. Props to all you moms out there.

Oh yes, and he is a chick magnet!! We took him to PetSmart and to Delaware Park and Spot coffee and I have never had so many strangers come up to me...and of course its not me they interested in at all. I have been subsumed by the cuteness of Ralphie.

Anyways, if anyone likes puppies and wants to meet him, you are welcome to come visit. I still don't have a job, or rather, a job that pays, so I am home alone most of the time with the cats and now the dog. But my house is a mess. That in itself stresses me out cause I am a litte OCD when it comes to a clean and presentable house. Newspapers spread on the floor. Makeshift puppy barriers blocking him in the kitchen. Ah well, so it goes....