I have 2 days left before I hand over my rental car. 2 days. I've been navigating the roads of this ass backward country full of Cracker Jack licensee drivers for 3 months without incident...and I wait until 2 days before my car is due to do something brilliant like this.
Have you ever been driving through your neighborhood and the county or city suddenly put up a new road sign. There wasn't any type of cautionary "hey there's something new here" warning or light...they just slapped a new do-dad up there. Have you ever been driving through that neighborhood like you had for the last 3 months you lived there and missed that newly placed sign? Don't lie, you know you have!
You see driving is a conditioned response. We go into autopilot mode when taking regular routes. That's how you can go from work to home in a dream like state and not even realize you were driving until you pull up to your house.
For 3 months I've been entering and exiting my little world through a security gate. On the way out, if you have a permit, you use the right late and you drive past the guard hut. There is a giant speed hump to clear, but you just cruise on out. On the way in you usually drive past with a little wave, once again conquering the speed hump, unless it's late a night and the guards can't really see the sticker on your windshield...but anyway the point is you drive out with no problems and you may or may not have to pause on the return journey.
Well APPARENTLY the security company decided to install gate arms in the exit lane for permit holders. The EXIT lane! It was a white pipe. (notice the use of 'was' not 'is'). Not striped, or bright, or noticeable in any way, just white. White blends in with the light sand environment as good as a polar bear's camouflage in the snow.
Are you starting to envision the scene? Are your lips curling from ear to ear in a cheshire grin? Are you starting to chuckle? Yep, Lady Croft blew right through that pipe like a knife through butter! Well, make it frozen butter because I didn't cut the thing off, entirely.
I STILL can't believe it!!! I went up and over the speed hump, then started to accelerate as always. I didn't even SEE the damn thing until it was 2 inches from my windshield, then WWWWWWHACK! Right into my windshield, up and over the hood, and snapped my antenna off the trunk. PISSER!
The guards must have thought I was on crack. I couldn't stop laughing because I realized how absolutely ridiculous it was that I just mowed down a security gate! But honestly, why the fuck did they install an arm on an EXIT lane for permit holders??
I can pass off the scrapes along the top as a dirty car because the car is white. I should be able to buff the marks on the windshield (thank GOD it didn't break!)...but I can't hide the fact the antenna is a mangled bit of aluminum. BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER!
I'll just keep laughing about it and say 'hey, at least it wasn't your brand new car!" as I hand over some money for a new antenna.
Ladycroft's Journal
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11/02/2007 18:24 #41946
a story to brighten your dayCategory: potpourri
10/31/2007 16:14 #41906
Happy HalloweenCategory: photos
I had such a great time today sharing my favorite holiday with people who've never heard of it! We held a 'reverse' trick-or-treat program in the halls and it was a big hit. This means some of us res life staffers dressed up in costumes and delivered little treat bags to all the residents rooms. So many of them took pictures of us because they had never heard of Halloween and thought it was really neat. Plus who doesn't like candy!
Last night I did pumpkin carving with my CDAs. None of them had ever done this before so it was a RIOT! It broke my heart at the end, when they were SO proud of their pumpkins and the boys said "Oh man, I'm going to keep mine forever, this is so cool!".....and I had to inform them that it will only last a week or so. I made sure to take a photo of each of them with their pumpkin :)
i found this entertaing candy...take a closer look at the bottom right corner....yeah, nothing like holding a gun to a kid's head eh?
i wasn't feeling good last night, so i made the classic 'sick-o-lantern'
all finished and glow sticks in place
i went as dorothy, so my supervisor decided to be the wicked witch
a lot of kids don't know the wizard of oz and kept thinking i was alice from wonderland....with a dog for rabbit
toto was a BIG hit
because he floated with i walked!
Happy Halloween everyone!
Last night I did pumpkin carving with my CDAs. None of them had ever done this before so it was a RIOT! It broke my heart at the end, when they were SO proud of their pumpkins and the boys said "Oh man, I'm going to keep mine forever, this is so cool!".....and I had to inform them that it will only last a week or so. I made sure to take a photo of each of them with their pumpkin :)
i found this entertaing candy...take a closer look at the bottom right corner....yeah, nothing like holding a gun to a kid's head eh?
i wasn't feeling good last night, so i made the classic 'sick-o-lantern'
all finished and glow sticks in place
i went as dorothy, so my supervisor decided to be the wicked witch
a lot of kids don't know the wizard of oz and kept thinking i was alice from wonderland....with a dog for rabbit
toto was a BIG hit
because he floated with i walked!
Happy Halloween everyone!
10/24/2007 04:51 #41773
kushadasi, turkeyCategory: photos
heading to the main land via tender boat
i love broken columns
the public toilets...yeah
this would have been the housing complex
overlooking the town center
a central well tucked between some houses
the town amphitheatre which holds 40,000
the BEST public toilet sign i've ever seen in all my travels
10/30/2007 05:18 #41881
doha shotsCategory: photos
Yes, I still have loads of Greece pics to share but I was having a few issues. Meanwhile here are some recent shots from around Doha.
you don't see that sign every day
i nicknamed this 'pigeon palace'...it's a bird house!
notice that little flag on the light post?
doha put in a bid for the olympics!
down on the corniche
the weather is starting to cool and flowers are starting to bloom
the water really is beautiful here
this is the main post office, aka the bee hive
beautiful sunset!!
you don't see that sign every day
i nicknamed this 'pigeon palace'...it's a bird house!
notice that little flag on the light post?
doha put in a bid for the olympics!
down on the corniche
the weather is starting to cool and flowers are starting to bloom
the water really is beautiful here
this is the main post office, aka the bee hive
beautiful sunset!!
hodown - 10/30/07 11:35
Way to go with your donation to the server fund!!!
Way to go with your donation to the server fund!!!
carolinian - 10/30/07 11:08
You missed out on seeing me expose my Dick to everyone (to keep on par with last year's smiley face). Hopefully (e:metalpeter) has pictures.
You missed out on seeing me expose my Dick to everyone (to keep on par with last year's smiley face). Hopefully (e:metalpeter) has pictures.
lilho - 10/30/07 09:56
wow, you donated a lot to the server fun.d you crazy girl, crazy!!!!
wow, you donated a lot to the server fun.d you crazy girl, crazy!!!!
jbeatty - 10/30/07 08:59
I love the camel sign picture. Are there any sand dune sports around there?
I love the camel sign picture. Are there any sand dune sports around there?
10/22/2007 07:18 #41746
greece...no wonder they have nice bodiesCategory: travels
Greece was absolutely amazing! My body is still in recovery mode. It was one hell of a workout! Even on a cruise ship with 5 buffet meals a day I managed to lose 5 pounds and I think my ass and calves are tighter than they have ever been. I don't have the time to really get into my adventures with this post but I will drop a few teaser photos.
I really want to give a BIG HUGE THANK YOU to (e:metalpeter) for sending me SPOT coffee beans! I got the package today and it was such a wonderful surprise. Efharisto! (that's thank you in Greek).
I really want to give a BIG HUGE THANK YOU to (e:metalpeter) for sending me SPOT coffee beans! I got the package today and it was such a wonderful surprise. Efharisto! (that's thank you in Greek).
jenks - 10/23/07 10:03
ditto- you look great. And is that a greek hottie? ;)
ditto- you look great. And is that a greek hottie? ;)
libertad - 10/22/07 21:29
she does look perty. Nice pics.
she does look perty. Nice pics.
metalpeter - 10/22/07 18:11
First of all that last picture is really cool looking. Secondly I'm glad you had a good time. 3rd you are welcome for the coffee beans, I hope I got you the kind you like the most I wasn't sure what kind to get from spot. I was going to e-mail you today but I forgot to let you know that something was on the way, glad you got it before I sent the e-mail.
First of all that last picture is really cool looking. Secondly I'm glad you had a good time. 3rd you are welcome for the coffee beans, I hope I got you the kind you like the most I wasn't sure what kind to get from spot. I was going to e-mail you today but I forgot to let you know that something was on the way, glad you got it before I sent the e-mail.
lilho - 10/22/07 10:48
wow. looks amazing and you look really perty!
wow. looks amazing and you look really perty!
Reverse trick or treating is a cool idea. I think we should have one here, for adults... with adult delivery... like a beer a household? *grin*
You look good as Dorothy! :O)
That sounded like a great time! I love your costume.
aww.... looks like you made a great day for them. :) And I love toto too!
Looks like a fun time. Happy Halloween to you also.
did josh just say cute? Oh my gawd. Glad you are having fun where you are. It looks like a great place.
HA! That costume is cute - and I never say cute!