This is an inappropriate journal about an inappropriate incident I had with Jesus in my office cubicle at Roswell today. It is actually kind of hard to write about it because I feel like I am self censoring beyond my natural limit of self censorship. I am kind of still in shock about it. I am sure it will make everyone uncomfortable, but right now I don't care.
Preface: Just the other day I had this conversation with
(e:mathew) and
(e:terry) how it is so wonderful to work with a Christians who so far have not tried shoving it down my throat. Religion is such a weird thing for me, like I never think about it until someone brings it up in my face.
You know that feeling when you are about to approach a Christian and talk to them about letting atheism and sinful living into their hearts but then something holds you back, like say you are somewhere inappropriate like work... How come so many do not have that kind of boundary.
Flashback to my life two hours ago...
I knew something was fishy because this coworker always wants to talk to me about "stuff" and "plans." Its always mixed in with programming questions and some business talk so it has this notion of legitimacy but then there is this underlying, unspoken something I wasn't able to place. For a while, I thought maybe he was gay.
So anyhow, I kind of ignored the situation, combined with crazy deadlines, I hadn't had time to see him for a while and kind of forgot about the "Stuff."
Then today after his day was done, he stopped at my cubicle to ask some Date and Time functions and I was explaining that the one type of date was only good until 2036ish if used in a 10 digit format. He then informed me that it would not matter because the world is ending and that his kids would not see their natural lives out. Something like 2012 I think. I mistakenly asked him about his reasoning on this to discover the bible clearly says it.
This was the beginning of a two hour cubicle confrontation which tried to save my soul and open my heart to Jesus via his scary God and fear f Satan tactics. At one point he was crying on the floor of my cubicle. A 50 year dude, on the floor of my cubicle, across the entrance - crying.
Looking back on it, I wonder now if it was all a setup. The request for help and more literally the date/time question. All to try and get at my soul.
I am not joking it was literally the most uncomfortable moment of my life but I didn't know how to make it stop. We were able to confirm that I am a lying, thieving adulterer and that even intellectuals can be Christian.
To his credit he asked me at one point if it was making me uncomfortable. I didn't say anything but it made me more uncomfortable thinking about him maybe wigging out if I said it made me uncomfortable. I figure I should probably just never have that experience instead of having it.
He probably interpreted my lacking of asking him to leave as some form of divine intervention but really I just didn't want to experience him wigging out. I mean I clearly told him that i was not interested, that I am not into fantasy, that I am gay, that I have no spiritual inclination, that I am not afraid of dying, that I don't believe god exists, that I don't care who made the universe before evolution, that I am comfortable with questions remaining unanswered or too complex for me to understand- all hoping he would just go away with that.
I said, How am I supposed to understand the universe and evolution when I don't even understand how the sewer system works. And I don't need a mystical explanation for that. I also told him it would take a full on visual miracle where I talked to Jesus for an extended amount of time with other people present to believe in it. None, of this he came to me in a dream, or I felt his presence kind of magic.
At one point I even said that I was not interested in his heaven because none of the people dear to me would be there as Catholics seemed to be excluded as well. According to him I was too comfortable in my life, and that it is easy to convert people who are having a hard time but in order to convert comfortable people they have to experience what it is like to be uncomfortable. I wasn't sure if he was directly referring to out encounter in my cubicle or something greater.
I just felt bad for him, and I know he was feeling bad for my soul - but it seemed to concern him so much more than me.
I wish could remain work related all the time. I know it sound ridiculous to essentially cut out the outside world but frankly, I don't want to ever have that happen again. I guess, I probably deserve it for being such a hardcore sinner ;)
This is something I never thought I would have happen at a state job. If
(e:enknot) didn't catch me mouthing the words " help" as his wandered by, I think it might have never ended. I think everyone at work is a born again Christian which is making me feel altogether uncomfortable now that this has happened. Can such a wonderful workplace experience end so quickly, do I really need to move to a more godless place like California now? I figured instead of telling anyone specifically about it, I am going to to the world and hope for the best. It is better than having it be some weird secret. It's kind of sad because now I feel weird about talking with him and before I really respected the guy and his dedication to learning the language I am using. I wonder if it was all a ploy to capture my soul like some sort of pokemon treasure.
P.S. I am thoroughly disappointed with Satan for not shielding me more substantially from the word. Ya, if only I believed in him either.
holy crap, BALLOONS!!!!!! ok, its funny how, we suddenyl freak out and get all happy with the presence of balloons. i admit, in a bit happier now myself, congrats paul, and id like to say that i contributed a lot to this. i basically cyber stalk you everyday. love you paulsy!
congrats! yay balloons!
yay! pop pop pop! congrats :)
Huzzah!! Nice party favors. So it's a little pretentious, big deal. We all wouldn't keep coming back. Celebrate!
Ha ha ha... great balloons... and congrats!
The scary thing is that when I added up the next four people behind you in views Me, Matt, Ajay and News our total was 916,041 so that means you have more views then the next 4 people combined (assuming I added it correctly)
They are like all that tacky javascript gaudiness from early in the 2000s that I miss.
I like the balloons :)
woohoo, congrats! I like the balloons. :)
Whooo, balloons!
Congrats, Paul!