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James's Journal

james
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09/09/2007 23:57 #41027

Testicular Cancer Prevention is HOT!
Want to see a British football team strip, get into the showers, lather up, and then play with their balls?

Well, what if you could learn about Testicular Cancer Prevention at the same time?

It is educating pornography for the British TV watching masses



james - 09/10/07 20:16
Jbeatty (not referred by his actual name to avoid confusion): It was posted on a blog I subscribe to. They had about a dozen videos about checking your testis but none of them were as hilarious/hot as this one.
ladycroft - 09/10/07 16:47
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha!
jbeatty - 09/10/07 16:40
damn james! what did you type into the search box to find that?
lauren - 09/10/07 11:12
Uhmmmmmmmmmmm. Yeah, wow.
jim - 09/10/07 10:59
Wow.

09/09/2007 22:08 #41023

My Plan to Save the World
To to do list for the weekend was kind of lofty, so I thought I would do a simple task to get my mind going. And that task was to save the world; you know, the sort of thing you do while sitting on the can or shaving your cat.

My plan is simple, effective, and will get you drunk ever weekend. That plan, is give everyone a giant plastic cup full of vodka.

I know, you are thinking to yourself 'why didn't I think of that?'. But that is how it goes with innovations that become the standard by which all innovations are judged.

You see, when I walk my dog I like to know that he is not going to get the shit cut out of him while walking. The dumb ass college kids, who do not think, like to get trashed on disgusting cheap beer and smash the bottles where ever they may while hunting poon-tang.

This angers me, and at first I wanted to poison their villages well, or turn their loved one into an exploding zombie. But just as Ghandi was not willing to unleash to cosmic dance of Shiva upon the British, so too must find a peaceful solution.

The deal is, you come to a city-run distribution center with your ID card and you get a giant plastic cup full of vodka. Inside that cup is more alcohol than the entire 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best that those dipshits break all over my neighborhood. There, you get drunk, you don't have to pay a friend to buy you your crappy beer (I'm looking at you Pabst Blue Ribbon), and you don't risk me chemically castrating you. This is what is known among people who hate being castrated as a 'win-win'.

So come on. You love to drink and you hate to have mutilated genitals. Wont you consider?

09/07/2007 17:05 #40990

Larry Craig Vacation
Category: politics
The sunny beaches of Capri, the well tanned sin of Rio, the underage in Thailand. What if you could take all these distant locations and put it into one experience greater than all of its components? What if you could do that right in your own back yard?

Yes, the future of vacation is now! Come see the exotic Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport Men's bathroom. The same location where Senator/ex-Senator/wait-wait-wait-give-me-one-sec-to-decide-Senator Larry Craig tapped his toes into our hearts.

Don't believe me that it is a tourist location? Via Seattle's The Stranger check out this holiday snap

image

Reminds me of the time I went camping in that ditch where Ted Kennedy killed that hooker.

kisses,

-James
fellyconnelly - 09/08/07 00:07
oh man.. why spend your vacation at a ruby convention when you have such delightful possibilities?

09/06/2007 10:35 #40966

Another Awesome Music Site
Category: music
Howdy,

I was looking to expand my blues knowledge a year or so ago when I was reading about Blind Willy Johnson. As a kid his mother rubbed lye in his eyes to get revenge on his father. He did survive childhood and married. But died alone of exposure in a rotten shack he was living in.

Now, one of his songs is on the Voyager spacecraft, reaching further and further distances from the earth. Perhaps intelligent life will find Voyager and they will hear one of the most beautiful expressions of humanity when they do.

Voyager Golden Record has an online copy of what must be the greatest mix tape ever made. In addition to Blind Willy Johnson it has Hindi music, pan pipe recording from the Solomon Islands, Bach, Mozart, Chuck Berry. The recording is immense!

One of my favorite surprises was Javanese Gamelan music. I was familiar with this style from a Japanese performing art group Genioh Yamashirogumi who achieved international fame for doing the soundtrack to the movie Akira. They are also famous for teaching themselves how to program MOOG synthesizers to play notes beyond our 12-tone scale. I thought Gamelan wouldn't sound the same without an armada of crazy MOOGs enhancing the sound only to realize that it was all about the Gamelan. Here is a video of such a Gamelan group.



For a bigger show, this is a children's performance group. It is 9 minutes long, but so freakin good!



But check out that golden record. You will be happy you did.
lizabeth - 09/07/07 02:26
Have you ever listened to Henry Rollins's radio show Harmony in my Head? (It's streamed online every Tuesday night - I forget the url, but you can Google for it.)

Anyway, he's played some stuff like that before. Very cool.
museumchick - 09/06/07 22:25
I am so happy you linked to the music site. I find it fascinating!
zobar - 09/06/07 17:00
This is blowing my freaking mind.

- Z

09/05/2007 15:20 #40949

Massachusets other Fliip-Flopper
Category: politics
Mitt Romney is wearing the Emperor's New Cloths.

Like Rudy he is a blue state Republican trying to win over the red state heartland. Doing so his song has changed more times than an ex-boyfriends mix tape.

Though I have to admire his pluck when criticized by Sam Brownback about his pro-choice record he retorted "I am tired of being criticized by people who have been pro-life longer than I have". However, the man is a goon who has been campaigning and fund raising so much he has no idea what the issues are or where he has and will stand on them. It is a sort of incompetence that would make me forget about the guy.

But you can't ignore him. He is beating the crap out of everyone in Iowa and is beating Guiliani by 4 points in New Hampshire. This guy very well might win the nomination. Damn.

The Massachusets Democratic Party has started the site Romney Facts which documents his changes. Not on small issues ether. From all right to gay marriage, to against it. From pro-choice to pro-life. These aren't from documents from Mitt's wild and crazy college days. No, the change happens in the same year, sometimes the same day in the case of gun control. It is an amusing site to look through.

This is nothing to say of the man who believes the use of contraception is tantamount to abortion and that a morning after pill is the very same as abortion. I wonder if he passed high school biology or if he just got the Cliff Notes bible?

On a side note, this video makes me so happy I could cry
james - 09/05/07 18:39
Joshua: All Politicians do that. But this man has gone through a positive metamorphosis in the last year. He makes Jeff Goldbloom in the Fly look like glacial movements. Also, Fred has said he will be announcing soon for months. I recall being relieved when he said he would make an announcement on the 4th of July. Must be nice being able to hide your financial records until the first few states have had their primary. I am also not too impressed with Fred. Then again, I am not too impressed with any of the candidates.

Oh, and the Massachusetts missing a 'T' is frickin hilarious! I wish I did that intentionally.

Jason:Ya, it is a shame Ron Paul doesn't stand a chance, as he makes a lot of sense on a lot of issues. He is the rogue candidate in the field, like Kucinich... but not frickin crazy! (I love him, but the man is out of his gourd)

Lauren: Yesterday began a renewed love affair with the B52's. This makes like the millionth time I have had a renewed love affair with them. The video makes me feel guilty because I think Ricky Wilson is so smokin' hot in it. (for the uninitiated, he the guitarist who died in '85, not Fred Schneider who is their quirky male singer.)
lauren - 09/05/07 18:21
I'll admit to knowing a damn thing about whats going on in politics or what the hell you are talking about, but sure do love the kinda guy who can talk about the prolife prochoice debate only to follow it with a sweet B-52's video.
joshua - 09/05/07 18:06
Oh (e:james) remember when I caught the name confusion in the title of one of your journal entries? I simply had to mention the missing T in Massachusets here, not because I'm anal but because I thought you'd appreciate the reference.
jason - 09/05/07 16:49
Unfortunately, that's what happens in politics. The only Democrat I can think of with any principles at all is Kucinich. The Republicans, I am not so sure anymore, I don't think there is really a small government minded one among them.

In fact, I don't think there is a single politician alive who just can't wait to use government power to limit our freedoms in some manner or another. Maybe, MAYBE Ron Paul, but his candidacy is DOA.

I absolutely marvel at the ability of Mass voters to install a Republican Governor, let alone a Mormon, when they outright reject Republicans in virtually every other type of election. That's like a true blue San Fran liberal bamboozling people from Alabama into voting for them. Unbelievable.
joshua - 09/05/07 16:08
Mitt Romney isn't my guy, thats for sure. He reminds me of Ron Popeil for some reason. Still though, I can't figure out how he got elected in Mass. to begin with.

Fred is declaring tomorrow and I still believe that he'll be the candidate. Mitt is in the lead because he is the least offensive of the group - in my view anyway I think the lines are drawn far more permanently in the Democrat camp than in the Republican and so its truly open ended... unless you are Sam Brownback.

As far as flip flopping goes, all career politicians (or those who are wannabes, hi Hillary) are masters at it. In Mitt's case I'm not particularly surprised, as at some point I can't see how he could have placated the libs in Mass. without saying things he didn't actually mean.