I love my job, I really do.

My boss has a terrible habbit of chatting stream of conscious while giving no context what so ever. And these stories are repeated for months. Eventually you hear them enough that you can piece this fragmented, sloppy narrative together into something cohesive but still absolutely irrelevant.

For example.

She was someplace with some people. She may have been invited, she may have been trespassing. She may have known these people, they could be relatives. I don't know what purpose she had there, or really where that place was. But I do know they had delicious corn and that she put a frog in a plastic container to keep away from a child.


After hearing this a dozen times over the corse of the week I was able to figure out that she infact knew these people and that the corn was taken home as leftovers. But unlocking the mystery of this story yields no wisdom or quirky tale. They are all mundane and unrelated to what ever got her going in the first place. It is enough to wish power tools on your ears so you may never hear ever again.

Thankfully, I am scared of power tools.

But tonight I watched the documentary Grey Gardens and the charecters were just like my boss, two of them. Bat shit crazy, constantly chattering, and damned if you know what it is they are talking about.

Here is a clip.



crazy woman. Anyway, they turned this documentary into a musical. A Tony award winning musical. Here is a clip.



I need a real job.

So,

AP has a story letting us good citizens know that Larry Craig, the foot-tapping, wide-stance, closet case toilet queen senator from Idaho, will be resigning tomorrow. I for one, am underwhelmed.

It is like this. Larry committed a crime. Not a big crime. Lewd Conduct doesn't really call to mind abuses of his senatorial power. This crime does not prevent him from being an effective representative of the people of Idaho. So why have scores of Republicans jumped on his back demanding his resignation?

I mean, this is a fair question at any time, but under the current circumstances it is especially relevant. Senator David Vitter has committed an actual crime: he payed a prostitute to have sex with him. But no one on that side of the isle has demanded he resigned.

At first, it seems like homophobia would be the answer. Het sex with a prostitute < homo sex with anyone. And this would follow GOP logic (sorry to you hip, cool Republicans out there.) But I can't help thinking it is something else, something related to the nature of Larry Craig and this case.

Politicians need to be practical. And this is an issue of power and who retains power. Larry Craig is from Idaho, which has a Republican governor. David Vitter is from Louisiana which has a Democrat governor. When a Senator resigned the governor gets to appoint a replacement until the next election. Which, if both were axed that would leave the Dems up one. hm...

The GOP has waged a continual campaign of wedge politics where homosexuals are reviled and resigned to second class citizen status. But it really isn't because they are god's senators or because they morally have an opinion about homosexuality. It all comes down to power. Gay hate helped them win in 2004. But how many of their own lead double lives. Having the token wife and strong 'family values' conviction but enjoy a firm cock in their mouth? Craig, ultimately, has to go not because he tried to have gay sex (for the umpteenth time) but because his very presence in office taints the whole party. He is a liability and a victim of his parties disingenuous agenda.

To the GOP there is nothing greater than their own power. That is why Craig is a liability, his very existence in the party compromises the whole sham.

And Barbara Boxer, get off your pamper Dem ass and investigate a few people. Would that kill you?

Howdy,

So, I mentioned Larry Craig yesterday and that whole gay sex in public toilets thing. Well, yesterday he had the most hilarious press conference which began with "Thanks to everyone for coming out" HA!

Here are a few clips from the show Little Britain that are eerily close to our own goings on. Enjoy.



and


scary isn't it? One more?

EH,

Since I have been blabbing about Politicians who have gay sex I figured I might as well do this one as well.

Larry Craig has been a vocal opponent of gay marriage. The Idaho Republican was arrested back in June and pled guilty on August 8th to lewd conduct. But the story is sad.

First, he was in an airport bathroom in a stall. In the stall next to him was an undercover cop investigating complaints of lewd conduct in that bathroom. Craig would give signs that he wanted some man loving, reaching under the stall and what not. Click-click, on the cuffs go and somehow the story just hit yesterday.

As much as I love it when closet homosexual Republicans with an anti-gay streak get caught with a sausage in their mouth this story is pathetic. First, he didn't actually do anything lewd. He didn't actually get it on in the bathroom. No scandalous press photos as he is lead into the back of a police car, viscous fluid on his lapel. Just an insinuation.

Second, there have been rumors for decades in Idaho regarding Craig's sexuality. Christ, what a poisonous environment to live in where you have to try to get your rocks off in a public bathroom because you need to pretend. He may not be gay. He may just like a little slice of hot man ass once in a while. But to be so divorced from self that you can go from conservative gay-hating politician to toilet queen.

How long do we have to wait for Trent Lott and Orin Hatch to get caught in each others sticky embrace?

Today was my first day back,

We still have a 1/3 of Summer left but my fall semester has already begun. School should not be in Summer. Summer is for being naked outside, contributing sweaty skin to the Earth's albedo. Instead I will be packed into a tiny room with smelly undergrads, wondering if trapped in that room for days how long it would take for someone to snap. I am sure 50 minute class is something approaching the answer.

I take only three classes during the day and have to graduate classes at night. My first two classes of the day are stupid. I am taking them just because the school tells me I will not be an effective teacher if I don't take "Intro to Microeconomics" or "Geography of Asia". Looking at the syllabus I can already tell I will have no use for the textbook and wont have to take notes to do well. But my third class is a pedagogy class, and one that directly relates to my profession. And of course that is the one I looked like an ass in.

I have four classmates. And we were having some innocent get-to-know-you chatter with the instructor before class began when I get a text message. I take a look and (e:Jim) was kind enough to inform me that Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has resigned.

Well, upon reading this I let out a huge gasping laugh/snort. Like, an embarrassing sort of laugh where, if the sun is shining at the right angle, you can see a spray discharge from the nose; leaving a little bit of droll at the corner of the mouth. Yes, short of actually peeing my pants it was the most embarrassing and personal laugh possible, and not one meant for a sober 11AM public.

"Is everything ok?" The instructor asks, half curious half concerned she has a psycho in her class.

"Oh ya, I just got a text about Alberto Gonzalez. He resigned!" I say with a giant smile, as if the joy in those words is self-evident. The warm euphoria chills a little and the wide eyed stare I am getting from a room of people kills it. They looked as if I had been telling a funny story for 20 minutes and just now realized none of them spoke English.

"Oh, that is... nice." The instructor says, seeing me hang there off a silly meat-hook.

I felt ridiculous. But seriously, these kids want to teach social studies, shouldn't they know who Fredo is? No? eh.. it is going to be a long semester. Just wait until they find out Michael 'ZOMG KATRINA WTF" Chertoff is a possible nominee to fill the position.