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James's Journal

james
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07/17/2007 20:04 #40149

Don't Apologize if you Don't Mean it.
Category: religion
Sweet Teets of god!

In the last week the Catholic Church they will be paying $600 million in settlements to over 500 victims of priests who can't keep their hands to themselves in the Los Angeles diocese. Awesome! I like it when they take responsibility for acts committed by members of their organization. Bravo RCC.

and then we heard from the vatican this morning.

Yes, they feel aggrieved for the victims and their families for an unforgivable act (their wording was not as harsh). But they want to remind everyone that mamma church is suffering too!

Yes, to raise the $600 million they had to sell off local property including the headquarters of the diocese....

Oh how they must be suffering! When little billy can't get an erection because of the psychological scars left by monseigneurs slimy, spotted hands he will surly be glad that at least he didn't have to sell some rich boys club/headquarters. I am sure, when she wakes up from another nightmare she will weep thanking god she isn't in the bishop's shoes.

wait, it gets better.

The vatican also cautioned that, while the church is working to snuff out pedophelia, other institutions need to work on it as well. How fucking condescending is that? Pedo-priests have been pulled out of a diocese when things got a little hot and moved to other diocese, or given prominent positions in the vatican. And they have the nerve to tell other organizations to follow their lead just because they paid out a ton of cash to little kids they fucked?

I wonder if Jesus would even recognize this church.
metalpeter - 07/18/07 17:36
The thing is that "The Catholic Church" has allways really been about power. Hey lets tell the king what he can and cannot do. They are also supposed to give moral Guidance to the community and the people they serve. With out doing what is moraly right (at least acording to them) they lose there power. So lets say Priest A has sex with a boy. He just had premartial sex, gay sex, and priets have to be celebate so I would call that a tripple sin in the eyes of the church. So what happens if anyone finds out. Well if little billy tells his parents they would never believe him. A kid over a Priest a man of the cloth a non sinner. Poor little billy is going to get in trouble. Now if there are a few little billies then people might start to believe it. If the guy who gives the sermon does this who is going to listen to what he says, I know I sure wouldn't. So then that church loses its power cause who does what a boy fucker tells you to do. You have to remember that some of thesse where like 30 years ago when times where much different.

The right thing to do would be to take action on the priest. But really how do you do that and keep your power. When Father O'sulliven runs into one of his flowers how does he explain why he doesn't do the service anymore. Even if he lies (why not throw in another sin anyways) and says something less bad then what happened, the result is close to the same. It looks like some people who where selected weren't able to do the job. That makes people question "The Church". Then if they waren't able then what does that say about the people who thought they where? Again then people have to question "The Church". Once people question "The Church" they lose power and Followers and Money.

However if a higher ranking church offical finds out and they just transfer the person somewhere else no one ever knows about the evilness. When the guy screws up again pass him to someone else and as long as you do it enough and fast enough no one finds out. But they only thought about the power and assumed they would allways have it. They didn't think about well what happens when little billy grows up? Will anyone believe him them? Oh yeah plus "The Catholic Church" is known for "Do as I say, Not as I do".

I'm not saying that all priests are bad. I'm not saying that when you find one that is bad the answer is easy. But I think "The Church" acted like how some Corporations work that they didn't care about the people they just wanted the power and the money. When you are an orgenisation that preaches moral behavior there is no excuse for what they did.
james - 07/18/07 10:36
I don't think you can say it better than "F that."

Perhaps I was spoiled growing up with John Paul II, but Ratzi has been pissing me off of late with his pre-VC2 masturbation fantasies.

so, F that.
jason - 07/17/07 21:29
Hell no, Jesus would NOT recognize that church, and sorry if I'm gonna piss some people off, but if Jesus saw what was going on with them today he would be flat out embarrassed they are associating themselves with him, and the "but check out these other pedophiles" deflection would go down about as well as warm bourbon.

We could have gotten divine word from heaven and a wonderful message and all that shit, but of course us being us, we would sign our signature next to it and start telling people how to live, talking with God's authority. F that.

07/16/2007 20:12 #40137

Rev. Alexyss Tylor: VAGINA POWER!
Category: vagina
  • Edit*****

I was checking out some other videos, and this one is just so fantastic I had to include it. If you could watch only one, make it this one.




"He didn't come like the wise men, bringing gifts of gold, frankensense, and myrh; he came with his dick, his nuts, and himself."

The lady preaches about evil men and anal sex. You know you want to watch.


07/13/2007 21:02 #40101

To Be Fair
Category: politics blow job
Well,

I told (e:Joshua) that I would be just as giddy when a democrat got caught in a super awesome homoerotic sex scandal. Of course, I didn't find this one to be as hilarious as the last one, but just sad. Here it goes

Roger Fisher is on the Parke County Council in Indiana and has a decade long career in local politics there. Well, the creepy bastard was caught in a seedy motel room with hydrocordone for which he had no prescription. And what could be hiding in the bathroom as police knocked on his door? Why a naked, sobbing, 15-year old!

How would your 15 year old self like to wake up tied up next to this?


image

So, take that democrats!

I wonder if he too likes water sports?
james - 07/15/07 11:27
oh... Barney Frank slept with a page. But he was of age, so that makes it not only alright, but hot!
james - 07/15/07 11:25
libertad: my thoughts exactly

tinypliny: The chubakabra?

ajay: I know, I know. The Dems need another Chapaquidic incident to catch up this week.

Jason: Since Barney Frank what?
jason - 07/15/07 10:44
Yeah, I guess it has been a while since Barney Frank. Good catch!
ajay - 07/14/07 13:16
Oh c'mon, there's no comparison! This guy's from some backwaters county in the middle of nowhere. It must at least be a state-level politician...
tinypliny - 07/14/07 12:24
He looks like a creepy character they once had on The X-Files.
libertad - 07/13/07 22:00
Gross.

07/11/2007 21:47 #40063

The Funniest Story Ever Told
Category: politics blow job
From the "You Can't Make This Shit Up" file

Yet another congressman from Florida was caught in a homoerotic sex scandal that will make your eyes water. Granted, it is just a state representative, not a US representative, but still, it is hilarious. It is rep. Bob Allen (R-Merret Island) of Florida... Florida, what do they put in the water down there?

Apparently rep. Allen was in a public bathroom and solicited an undercover cop, offering to give him a blow job for $20. Yup, you folks in Merret Island have rep. who moonlights as a $20 hooker. He is being arraigned sometime tonight.


Allen is married and has a kid and says the whole thing is a big misunderstanding. Hm, he must be refering to his marriage.

Marvelous, couldn't possibly get better than a Republican politician offering a $20 blow job to an undercover cop behind the backs of his wife and kid, right?

Oh, it gets so much better.

Check out his MySpace-esq profile on the Florida House of Representatives page.

Look at his recreational Interests at the bottom of the page. And if you are too lazy to click that link then I wont give you the punch line. It is just too funny of a treasure to give, but to simply point the way.

Good night, and save those pennies for you congressman.
james - 07/14/07 14:05
Felly: I do what I can to make being in a mall as tolerable as possible.

Theecarey: I am glad you did too. It is just so much funnier straight from the horses mouth.

Ajay: Rudy Guiliana has had more divorces than the entire field of Democrat candidates. What a world..
ajay - 07/14/07 13:12
I'm late to the party, as usual.

Two words for you, (e:joshua) : Rudy Giuliani :::link:::

theecarey - 07/13/07 22:29
  • snickers* yeh, glad I clicked my way over. Thanks :)
fellyconnelly - 07/13/07 17:00
oh geez i laughed out loud in the middle of the mall again. thanks for making me look like a crazy again james!
but seriously, thank you for going through the effort of looking up that page AND pointing it out!
james - 07/12/07 17:33
Well, it is a long story, but here it goes.

Because people who are romantically or sexually attracted to people of their own sex have not been permitted historically to public display these feelings they had to go underground. Men were expected to marry and would have loveless marriages but have secret boyfriends. Sex between men was quite open and public in cities before the Victorian age where they were sent underground. So gay baths, gyms, or public places like parks or bathrooms would be meeting places to go have one off.

So, there isn't a system per say, but an underground tradition that grew out of oppression.

The oppression in this case was Rep. Allen's own.

To clarify: Rep. Allen offered to give the undercover officer a blow job in exchange for $20. I would like to see our Rep. Thompson be half as solicitous of his constituency. ^_^
metalpeter - 07/12/07 17:24
If I read what you said right he wasn't giving out $20 blow jobs. If he solicited the cop then he was going to pay the cop and suck the cops dick. Or he was going to pay the cop to suck his cock. But I have heard that there is some kind of system for "stright" or maybe they are bi guys or gay guys in stright relationships to meet in random places like mall bathrooms or Park Bathrooms. I'm guessing this was one of those sittuations and he just asked the wrong guy. I can't say to much about the guy since I don't know his politcal stance. But what I do know is the best way to cover up what you do sexualy is to say that act is wrong publicly.
james - 07/12/07 16:48
Museum: my belly is warm with giggles too

Joshua: Well, it isn't so much that the guy cheated on his wife. Everyone cheats on their wife these days it seems. What I find disgusting is when someone pretends to be a moral paragon in public but when out of the scrutinizing eye does what their vermiculited heart loves. This guy sponsored a law that would make public masturbation illegal between two consenting adults. When he has been busy covering his ass since yesterday he said that the whole misunderstanding is 'disgusting'. For the love of christ, if only people could have the freedom to give another guy a blow job and then be given $20. This is why Republicans have such a hard time with sex scandals. Bill Clinton and Mark Folley should be the text book examples.

I don't take joy in a man who lies to himself and gets caught up in it. I do take joy when a two faced homophobe gets caught handing out $20 blowjobs. It just looks like a 'republicans are da sukz' because there aren't many dems sponsoring hate legislation and cruising public toilets. But I promise you, when Senator Bird gets caught with a hearty link of man-sausage between his lips I will be laughing just as hard.
joshua - 07/12/07 15:15
Two words - Antonio Villaraigosa. The *first* time he cheated on his wife, it was while she was in the hospital sick with cancer. The *second* time was slightly less sinister but lead to his divorce. He'll never be thrown under the bus by the media because A) he's a Hispanic mayor of LA and serious contender for Governor of CA, and B) he's a Democrat. In other words, he is the right kind of minority and Alberto Gonzales and Condi Rice are not. I suppose you could throw in San Fran's own, Mayor Newsom, in the moral blender too since he cheated with his best friends wife this year.

Seriously - the amount of hypocrisy when it comes to this stuff is startling but I'm not entirely surprised by it.

The difference is that Republicans hold themselves to a higher moral standard, which is why they get ripped when they can't meet that standard. Personally, I respect politicians that own their own problems instead of deny them. Most people aren't foolish enough to believe that politicians are white as snow, even when they say they are.
museumchick - 07/12/07 08:25
  • coughs* I definitely had a giggle with the recreational interests there.

07/10/2007 19:59 #40040

Da Pope
Category: religion
Who is this crazy man?

I was raised a Catholic in as much as a wining, pretentious, sophomoric gasbag of a child can be. But, somewhere in this deeply secular heart (anatomically correct, for science) beats a little boy love for that church. I mean, the pomp, the robes, the half naked savior dangling from the walls; it is a drag queens apartment writ large. There is a bit of comfort in repeating the occult rituals, much like the pleasures of waking up, brushing your teeth, and urinating.

But who the hell is the Ratzinger cat?

I suppose there is something to be said for the workings of the worlds oldest, uninterrupted monarchy. But, being a winning, pretentious, sophomoric gasbag of an adult, I feel damn responsible to do so. So here it goes.

Pope Ratzy has issued a decree on July 7th allowing for much broader use of the traditional Tridentine mass. This isn't just a mass in Latin, it is so much more. You might not be aware of it if, like most sensible people in the world, you are not fluent in Latin. But you and your buddies pray that the Jews may 'crawl out of darkness' and presumably into the incandescent light of the one true momma church.

Why do this? To bring a smattering of super conservative Bishops who reject the Vatican Council II (that council in the early 20th century that gave the church a much needed updating thanks to the complaints of the Protestant Reformation just a few years prior beginning in 1517). Wonderful, nothing like a little anti-semitism to crash through the gates of 21st century ideals (enlightenment ideas more specifically, 1600's-1804).

Ya, but picking on those darkness dwelling Jews is an old routine, a song and dance we are tired of. Can we get back to some more of that hot Christian on Christian violence?

oh yes we can!

In another decree the pope has declared that all Christians who are not catholics are not fully christian. That their Eucharistic celebration is false, and that their church is a fatally flawed and wounded church. I am paraphrasing, but it was pretty strongly worded.

So much for religious toleration. Wait.. this is worse than that, so much for inter-faith dialogue. How do you work with someone who claims such superiority over you? All in a ploy to bring back the middle ages loving Catholics.

I can't wait for a reconstruction religion like Druidism to go back to wicker man burnings. If only we could be so keenly focused on the distant past.

as per (e:libertad)

image
james - 07/12/07 08:11
Well (e:Jason) and (e:Mike)

Doubtlessly in the vested halls of ones own religion, yes, you are convinced 100% that your religion is the only religion and all others are a bit silly. But in recent years, in an attempt to not seem like a hatemongering dinosaur there has been inter-faith dialogue and this hippy feel good atmosphere of 'all religions are a path to god' sort of thing.

So this turning away from cooperation (Ratzinger was actually just reaserting a document from 2000 I found out later) is very poisonous to the whole process, and does no one any favors.


(e:Jason)

About the Jews. Ya, Spain and Britain both kicked all their Jews out at some point, and Italy and the Netherlands are famous for their Ghettos, and I don't think I even need to go into what Germany and Russia did, but the spirit in Europe recently has been one of deep regret. They have come a long way... with the exception of Russia. They wont get on the 'Jews are OK' bandwagon for another 600 years.
mike - 07/12/07 00:40
Ok, my only comment on this is, doesn't really every religion belive they are the best and one true way. I don't think it is that crazy. I mean how could a religion be a religion if they didn't believe that. If a leader of a religion believed any religion was equally good then really what is the point of any religion. Which is fine. You cna think no religion has a point and I could see that. But as a leader of anything you have to believe yours is the best and one true one. That's your job kinda. Doesn't every religion believe that? Doesn't even people who belive in no religion believe only there rleigiousless way is the only and best way?
jason - 07/11/07 12:47
Benedict does look evil. JP2, not so much. I've always been uncomfortable with Cardinal Ratzinger's countenance. Somethin ain't raaaght about that boy.

"Sheep" as a metaphor is without question the most intellectually lazy argument to make concerning the religious, which is why it is put into use so frequently. They're Catholics. Of course they think their way is the right way. Islam and Judaism believe their way, respectively, is the right way. And, for that matter, secular humanists/atheists believe their way is the right way, the only way.

In this light I really don't see what is new or controversial about a Catholic Pope reinforcing their primacy. JP2 was a special guy, and there are very few people like him in the world nowadays, if any.

Europe is famous for its anti-semitism. It is as European as socialism, football, and fisting videos. When they weren't out and out frying the Joos, they were busy persecuting them and kicking their asses from one corner of the continent to the other, from Spain to Mother Russia, over the course of many centuries.

But, (e:James), your point is well taken, it's sad that the new Pope has that in his makeup. Backwards instead of forwards indeed.
james - 07/11/07 12:30
I thought Pope John Paul on the right was cool-ish. I mean, he fought against Communist rule and helped start a revolution in Poland. That is pretty awesome.

But Pope Ratzinger on the left... barf.
fellyconnelly - 07/11/07 12:20
how could anyone look at that photo and tell me that neither of those two don't look evil as hell? i mean look at the guy on the left!!

and it continues to blow my mind that people still blindly follow this man as though he alone decides the their fate. it kind of just made an interesting correlation in my head between the constant use of sheep as a metaphor for the 'christians' which of course by all means could only mean 'catholics'. ugh.
james - 07/10/07 22:37
Come on Drew, every single catholic feels exactly as the pope does. They are all of one mind, like the borg or something.... ya, I know, it is just sad to have someone from Mars as the pope. They way to a relevant church isn't backwards, but focusing on the present and future.

Oh, there is nothing wrong with a nice little robe. But man, no one lays it on like the Catholics. Dozens of robes in every imaginable shade, matching hats, accessories. It is the over the top zany pomp that makes me think campy drag queen, not the robe and vestments in of themselves.

But, if you find yourself unable to get the drag image out of your head maybe a little Diana Ross in the service might set the mood. ^_^
drew - 07/10/07 22:14
yeah. Bad move pope. Sadly, this isn't new.

But not all Catholics follow him lock-step, thankfully. And he won't be Pope forever.

As for the drag-queen apartment remark--I never thought of it that way. I may never wear my robe the same way again.