You all know how I abhor Valentine's Day, but yesterday while working I was inspired to write some things decribing love in various ways.

So, I'll share with you the haikus I wrote as well as a poem while I was "working" yesterday.

A note - haikus are traditionally 5/7/5 format but modern rules are essentially very loose. For fun I used 4/5/4, 5/6/5 and 7/7/7 - as I said in my MySpace blog, 7 is a lucky number and I need all the luck I can get!

For those of you who are in love and will hopefully do right by your lovers today - enjoy your day. To the rest of us who aren't attached - remember that love gives us the greatest human experiences... the highest highs, the lowest lows, hope and optimism. So for my sentimental side, and for those who I loved and who loved me, and for those who feel lonely on days like this - here are my thoughts.

The last haiku is my dedication to the brunettes out there - I have never dated a blonde, so to all the brunettes who have been charitable enough to like me more than blondes do - I love you!

Through My Eyes

only this thing
can make still waters
and dry the sea

as the water sings
hope eternally springs -
love is not yet lost

earthbound oceans of starlight
sunbeams on dark hair shimmer
water for a dying world

A Simple Answer

What makes the walking gaze
a breath that moves away
the wintry, anchored haze?

What gives and takes away
from souls and saintly dreams
as sunset steals the day?

What sweeps the sullen earth
and casts all fears aside
to show what life is worth?

Stay warm!

- Josh

Boss Gambles While Being Oblivious To The Needs Of His Company

I absolutely fucking hate it that my boss is asking me for something while he is on vacation in Las Vegas.... THAT I FUCKING SENT TO HIM LAST THURSDAY. Since he apparently didn't see that, then I can safely assume that he didn't read the series of questions I had asked him pertaining to the same project... which he is now asking me about from a casino somewhere.

What kind of business person can get away with this level of incompetance?

His response? "I'll call you in an hour." Thanks for paying attention to your employees' correspondance only as long as it has something to do with money!!! HOPE THAT GAMBLING AWAY OF THOUSANDS GOES WELL THIS WEEK!!!

I can't say that I've dealt with this too much since I am usually as demanding on my superiors as they are with me, but this is ridiculous. If an employee is asking you questions about a project that a client is wondering asking about, then its probably wise for you to make sure that you are paying attention to the employee that is assigned with the task. Its inexcusable that he didn't realize that I was asking him about this very same issue several days ago.

Love Universal

In a slightly schizophrenic but sincere note I wanted to bring attention to a fantastic and inspirational story of non-Valentine's Day related love - - the power of a father's love for his child truly can know no bounds. I admire people who don't take the easy road, and I couldn't possibly articulate the amount of respect I have for this particular father.

Bucking Fabricated Holidays

I agree with (e:vincent) - we need a holiday that celebrates relationships of drama-free convenience. By this I clearly mean "friends with benefits" arrangements, or at the very least, friendships with (in my case, anyway) members of the opposite sex that are mutually beneficial and do not routinely end in dramafests. The only female that I've ever had such an arrangement with left Buffalo. It was not the "friends with benefits" kind of thing, but if it ever did slip in that direction it would have been solely out of sheer boredom. The bottom line is this - if I'm even remotely attracted to a girl, having a traditional friendship is just about impossible and so I maintain plenty of distance. For me its rare to have normal friendly, drama-free relations with members of the opposite sex partially because of my own idiosyncracies, but also because I simply believe that its a rarity. So why not celebrate such a rarity instead of a ginned up corporate holiday?

So, for the single ladies out there -



I drew you grassy, rolling hills with a box of chocolates, a credit card, a rose, seagulls, a smiling sun and a nice blue sky!

Seeing as flipping off "the man" and being non-conformist is hip again, I refuse to fill out this MySpace style bulletin question line. I would like to say that I used to use the picture booth at Frizzy's and get pictures with each and every girl I dated at the time. After I realized that this was horrible and assholish I stopped, but now I really want to go back and just get pictures of myself sans arm candy before I have to cut my hair.

When I was spellchecking the word "philanderer" I realized that www.philanderer.com is a site for married people who want extramarital affairs. This is what makes me incandescent with rage (thanks european football writers! mmm flowery language)... some straight people actually suggest that allowing gay people to marry (or have a civil union) ruins the sanctity of marriage. Sorry, I think straight people are fucking it up just fine all by ourselves. Here is some cynicism for you - are the people behind www.philanderer.com gay or straight? Straight, of course. This is not as if there is some nefarious gay cabal pulling the strings behind www.philanderer.com in order to ruin the holiest of marital holies. Its so damn ridiculous and upsetting - the next time I see or hear of an amendment to "protect marriage" I'm going to fucking snap. I don't recall any outrage when Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd were busy making a waitress sandwich a few years ago. In fairness to Uncle Ted and Mr. Dodd though, Ted's wife was probably drunk somewhere and we aren't seeing either men try to write bigotry and sexual persecution into law either. The hypocrisy needs to stop; we should simply accept people for who they are. For me, sites like the philanderer site illustrate exactly why some of these judgmental, hypocritical, sadomasochist assholes should police their own before EVER attempting to bother gay people.

I am travelling for the first time in 4 months tomorrow, but only for one day. We're going to Toronto to visit a facility that makes "bodywear" - if this is Canadian for "clothes" I'll let you guys know tomorrow. The odds are high that I won't be able to privately interview workers to see if they have any problems - most factory workers in Canada are of Middle Eastern/Eastern European/Asian descent. Is there anybody around that can give me a crash course in Punjabi?

Your "RINO" for life,
Josh

I'm so sorry about delaying the latest beer review - in all honesty, (e:jason) and I procured the beer we wanted to review but ended up getting drunk off of it - and you'll understand why in a minute. As a result I didn't want to write a review of a beer that could be based on cloudy, inaccurate judgment - that wouldn't be honest. So, after repeated quaffings, here you are!

We wanted to highlight a local brewery which I think is absolutely
fantastic, with some exceptions depending on the variety. For example, they make a Tripel that I really, really dislike. However, I wanted to take two of their Imperials to highlight how quality brewing can mask alcohol content and bitterness, and ultimately makes for deceivingly drinkable beer. To illustrate this, and to get you lords and ladies drunk, we've selected two different styles - the Heavy Weizen and the Unearthly Imperial India Pale Ale.

About the brewery - the brewery is located in a small manufacturing space in the town of Lakewood, NY - about 3 miles from my childhood home in Jamestown. The people that run this outfit are very laid back and hippie-ish - the brewery actually has a small pub in it so Jay and I always make a point to stop by and have a few pints... and usually fill up a growler with their fabulous Porter. God I love that beer - it makes most other porters (to my palette anyway) taste watered down. They are very friendly and tours are available - having toured the Anheuser-Busch brewery in St. Louis I think this is a great way to kill an afternoon and learn a little bit about America's favorite drink. Their web site - - gives you a feel about the hip artistic design of the bottles and all the information you'd ever want about the beers themselves.

Before anybody accuses me of homerism - if the beer sucked I'd just come right out and say it. Their beer definitely doesn't suck and at worst it's better than most commercially produced "specialty" beers. Some of their varieties are better than others, and I've tried every single one, so if you have a question about a specific variety of Southern Tier just leave a comment or ask me if you catch me on the street!

Southern Tier Heavy Weizen - Imperial Unfiltered Wheat Ale

8.0% ABV, 38 IBUs - available most places locally in 22 oz. bottles, or if you can find it, it is available on tap as well. I know that as of last
week Heavy Weizen was on tap at Cole's, so if you are out and about you may see it.

This beer is a variation on the traditional hefeweizen (hefeweiss, weissbier, wheat beer, sometimes white beer) that you'll find from brands such as Paulaner, Hacker-Pschorr, Franziskaner and the like. Its a traditional German variety that has a flavor derived from the special top-fermenting yeast that lends its distinct flavor. Two traditional flavors that people associate with hefeweizen are banana and clove, although many beers brewed in this style
have a citrus tone as well. To call a beer a "hefeweizen" is to assume that the beer has remained unfiltered - this leaves the body of the beer cloudy and when poured into a proper glass reveals a unique look. Americans traditionally love to put citrus in this style of beer, although purists absolutely hate this idea and feels it takes away from the head and the citrus tone inherent in the brew. I have a tight-assed compromise explanation on what is proper here, but I will save it for last.

Putting it simply, Heavy Weizen slots somewhere between Blue Moon and a traditional hefeweizen. I compare it to Blue Moon, but Blue Moon is a Belgian-style wheat ale and rather than a German hefeweizen. They are both wheat beers but I promise that if you taste both side by side you'll understand that Hefeweizens are usually a tad sharper in flavor, have more carbonation and have a more consistent golden color.

When you look at Heavy Weizen, it has a dense, hazy golden color with a slight reddish/orangish hue to the center of the glass. If you smell the beer before you sip it, you'll notice a spicy side to the beer that lends itself more towards the Blue Moon side of things. Heavy Weizen reveals more of the hefe side of things as you drink and get into the glass. Bananas, cloves, wheat, yeast and less acidic citrus dominate the muted but very well established flavor combination - this is a very easy to drink beer. Wheat beers in the German style are well known for their refreshing quality in the summertime; in this beer you have that same quality but to a lesser extent. Mid level carbonation, slight spiciness, twice the alcohol content and general mouth feel of the beer make it less so. Despite the alcohol content, there is only a slight boozy quality to the brew; the cleverly balanced flavors and heavier mouth feel (relative to hefeweizen, that is) match up well and only towards the aftertaste to you notice a deceivingly slight kick.

I like to balance controversial posts with relatively innocuous ones, so here we are.

I know that I said I was going to go wild like a lumberjack but unfortunately I hate how my beard is shaping up, so I'm very tempted to shave it. I'd take a picture but I broke Jason's camera and have yet to replace it. At least my lumberjack hair is still going well - I told my grandmother what I was doing and she almost teared up right on the phone. I said, "Don't worry grandma - if it looks bad I'll cut it, but if I let it grow out and it looks good you'll like it!"

All of this talk about iPod deaths is really scaring me. Seriously... if I lost my iPod I would just about die. Its amazing how companies can essentially create a need for something that people will eventually not want to let go. If I lost my iPod and were broke, I'd seriously eat rice and beans for a month if it meant that I could replace my iPod.

What do people put on their iPods? For me its about 16GB of music and podcasts. I generally subscribe to the following podcasts - Chelsea FC, The Beautiful Game, From Our Own Correspondant (BBC), 606 (BBC), This American Life (Chicago Public Radio, very highly rated and the way they tell stories is intriguing), Left, Right and Center (KCRW Santa Monica, one of the better political debate shows), Meet the Press, some kind of Buddhist podcast and a cast about the rulers of the Byzantine Empire. I feel like I'm forgetting some, but I am definitely a podcast enthusiast. If anybody knows some good ones let me know!

The title of this journal entry may be confusing to some, since I actually haven't mentioned my father yet, but the phrase is a bit of an inside joke between my brother and I. Dad absolutely hates getting his picture taken.

Nevertheless, my dad is the coolest mofo alive - at least in my eyes. Here is what happens when you mix my father and a Mac at his friends house. Here he is, the Big Kahuna, the hardcore liberal, El Rey, El Matador -



As far as I'm concerned this is the greatest picture of him in existence, possibly with the runner up being -



Dad is a fairly indimidating guy, which unfortunately casts a shadow on his very keen but very dry sense of humor. He insists he's funny, and if you disagree he'll roll you up, light up and smoke you!

In other news of the type that I never really talk about -

Thomas Pynchon, an author who some of you may be familiar with through novels such as The Crying of Lot 49, has released a new novel titled Against The Day. It is nearly 1,100 pages long and supposedly sports around 100 characters. Anybody for winter reading with a flowchart and many annotations? Haha.

I do my best to keep the cynical side of me at bay, but reading some of the reviews of the book just killed me.

Example 1: Thanks to the army of Pynchonites who maintain the "Against the Day" wiki on wikipedia the reader has a wealth of information and reviews available to help in gauging and appreciating this book. However, and I doubt whether this is any coincidence, Pynchon has written the kind of book that leaves every reader out there alone in the middle of the desert, ocean, or sky to make up her or his own mind.

Darn those books that leave you hanging and force you to think!

Example 2: I can't give this book five stars. It does seem that the author has taken on too much, at least for my Updike-trained sensibilities.

What a fucking literary nerd thing to say - I sincerely dislike these kinds of people. Lets name drop another author to make myself look well read - after all, you know, if you think this book is difficult you CLEARLY should have tried Joyce's Finnegan's Wake! I can't help myself guys, these sort of people kill me.

In all seriousness, I look at my bookshelf every day and feel as if I've been ignoring it. I stopped reading Brian Greene's The Fabric of the Cosmos about a third of the way through and essentially I have stopped reading any books since then. I recently got some unsolicited mail from a conservative book club but I have no inclination to read 90% of it - for somebody that is supposedly a neocon sympathizer I have a very low tolerance for Ann Coulter, or for that matter David Corn on the other side. In other words, I'm on a search for something new, maybe something that isn't to pretentious that has won an NBA or a Nobel. Hard task, that.

Speaking of the neocon thing, I recently heard of some kind of "neocon meter" where you can take a test and be evaluated on how much of a neocon you are. I'm a little curious so if I can find the test I'll link it - I wonder exactly how far into the negative some people might be.

EDIT: I took the test here - - the page is extremely jacked up and the programmers will hate it.

Here are my results - apparently I'm not a neocon but in truth two of the questions didn't really suit me - my likely answer would have been a combination of a couple of the answers.

Realist
Realists…

• Are guided more by practical considerations than ideological vision
  
• Believe US power is crucial to successful diplomacy - and vice versa
  
• Don't want US policy options unduly limited by world opinion or ethical considerations
  
• Believe strong alliances are important to US interests
  
• Weigh the political costs of foreign action
  
• Believe foreign intervention must be dictated by compelling national interest

Historical realist: President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Modern realist: Secretary of State Colin Powell