Things have been really rough lately. To top things off I spoke to my sister, who is not doing well. She can't find a decent job, is behind on her rent, and feels like giving up. She also has been sick and she said the doctor's found a lump. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost my sister, and this scares the crap out of me. I told her to consider moving up here. I really wish my family wasn't so spread out.

Well I've had a really crappy few days. I am officially crashing and I can't seem to get anything meaningful done. I also think that I'm starting to come down with the sickness that's been going around my household for the past week (another obstacle that's been in my way). To top it all off I feel extremely guilty because it's not as if I'm simply on break and my stagnant behavior effects no one. I'm supposed to be helping to finish this research project that I'm helping on, and I just feel frozen. Not fun. On the upside, I'm back into practicing my Spanish. :)

P.S. I did take that tour of Albion and I plan to write about my experience. Much different. Also, I'll be doing the Prison Task Force this semester, and I get to teach legal research and writing to prisoners at Wende. So psyched.

Initial Impression

I visited the Wende Correctional Facility today. Wende is a men’s maximum security prison in Alden, NY. There is a long fence that goes along the front of the building padded with rows and rows of barbed wire. When you enter the gate to go up to the front door, there is barbed wire above your head as well. This was really intense compared to Attica that has a 35’ foot high (and deep) wall that goes around the perimeter. However, once we got into the reception area I saw a Christmas tree and decorations. For a minute, it felt like I was in a regular office, or maybe a Sheriff’s office in a small town. The other difference I noticed right away was the presence of women. While at Attica, I may have seen one woman during the whole tour; although, I can’t even recall if I did or not. I saw African American Correction Officers as well. I hadn’t seen any at Attica. The guards were a lot friendlier too. They weren’t as wrapped up in trying to scare us.

Introduction

After getting checked in, we went into the visitor’s room, which was a lot smaller than the one at Attica; however, it should be noted that the population is more than half of that at Attica with approximately 950 inmates. I believe the count at Attica is about 2200. The introduction we got at Wende was similar to that Attica where we were told that everything that we have on the outside (gangs, drugs, sex, etc.) they have on the inside. The one guard compared their positions (the Co’s) to that of police on the outside, which I thought was interesting. Apparently, Wende’s claim to fame is two-fold. First, it is a processing center for seven counties in the area. When county prisoners become “state ready” (after they’ve been sentenced) they go to Wende for initial processing. While there, they are strip/cavity searched, deliced, and given a medical evaluation. Once they have been processed, they’re off to another facility to be further processed. As a result, they handle a lot of volume on a daily basis, despite their relatively small size. Second, the guards were sure to mention, that instead of Attica, they were really the ones who got the “worst of the worst” because they had to take in all of Attica’s “problem children” that get transferred. I thought it was interesting how the guards at each facility wanted to establish how really “bad ass” their facility was compared to any of the others. When one of the guards was asked if he ever had to use his baton, he said that thankfully in 26 years (the entire time that he’s been an officer) he hadn’t had to use his baton because you learn to use your brain instead of your strength. This response was almost word for word what the guard said while giving the introduction at Attica. Coincidence? I highly doubt it.

"Belly of the Beast"

After the intro we were off. We split up into two groups. When we got to the main entrance/corridor, the guard said this is where your heart should start pumping because from this point on you’re on the inside, or something to that effect. I was a little scared. Wende is a lot louder than Attica. In Attica it seemed that you could virtually hear a pin drop. That certainly wasn’t the case at Wende. The prisoners had a different attitude as well. At Attica, when we walked by, the prisoners would stop and avert their eyes while we walked by. The prisoners here looked straight at us and talked amongst themselves or to the guard. There was also less a sense of treating the inmates as inferior. For instance, several times our guard said that these guys (the inmates) were really smart and had they used their smarts toward a different end things could have ended up differently, or that there is good and bad in everyone. The guards were really candid too about the fact that sometimes guards do get out of hand and sometimes guards or civilians on the inside are corrupt and bring contraband into the jails. Another moment of honesty was when the guard said that he felt it was unfair that inmates get medical treatment within a few days, but they have to wait a few months while their procedures (MRIs and the like) are cleared through insurance. Although, the short answer to that is that the State is responsible for the custody and care of prisoners, so it is their duty. The real issue is that it shouldn’t take that long for someone to be able to get a medical procedure, if they need it, but that’s an entirely different issue. There were some cynics. At one point a guard said that he didn’t think there could be such a thing as an “honor” block in a prison. Another guard said, “we make money off of them, and pretty soon you will be too.” Overall, though, the environment seemed to be more positive than the one at Attica. They’re prison was organized differently too. They kept individuals with IQs below 70 in special housing, segregated from the general population. They had a hospice unit for those that were dying, and the prisoners get to work as hospice aids in the prison, sitting with these individuals who are dying and helping them to live their last days as comfortably as possible.

Prisoner Interview

At the end of the tour we were brought into what looked like an old classroom to meet the inmates we would be talking to. We talked to four inmates. Three of them were African American, the other was Caucasian. Just as at Attica, I was extremely impressed with these men. These men had managed to rehabilitate themselves in a facility where violence is the norm and instead they were able to find some inner peace. They all worked at hospice, most, if not all, had learned sign language and translated for deaf inmates at the prison. Some worked with blind inmates as well. They all were involved with the school there (that was another difference-more educational opportunities seemed to be available at Wende versus Attica). When I asked about gang violence, they all said it was a problem, but one of them said that, from his perspective, the problem was that you have all these young kids (some as young as 16 and 17) coming through the system and they just know that they don’t want to be the victim. It’s either you or them. He went on to say that some may not even want to be in a gang, but they do it because they don’t know how to be on their own. They talked a little of their plans, and what they hoped to do afterwards. All of them wanted to give back to their community in some shape or form. In two of the cases, the prisoners claimed that they had been involved in a situation where someone was murdered, but the actual murderer received less time than they did. One of them had been sentenced to 20 years for a robbery (his prior offences were two DWIs). After our interview was done, one of the officers felt it necessary to point out that a prisoner can use a trash bag to strangle you or burn it so that it becomes hard enough to stab you with it. This seemed like an obvious ploy to try and re-instill that fear of prisoners lest we forget that these are really monsters that we’re dealing with. Right after this little demonstration the tour was over.

Closing Thoughts

With respect to the impossibility of having an “honor” block in a maximum security prison, I disagree. To me, if you can accept what you’ve done wrong, make peace with it, and change your life for the better, that is honorable. I think men like this have a lot to offer, especially when you have whole communities where positive male figures, or any male figures for that matter, are sorely lacking.

I went to Attica today for my prisoners' rights class. It was my first time ever going to a prison. One of the most memorable moments of the tour happened when we were going through the kitchen and the smell of the food almost made me vomit. All the meals are made in one facility, flash frozen, and delivered to all the prisons state-wide to be thawed and served. They used to have farms nearby the facility that would provide the food for the prison, but they closed them down to switch to the way they do it now. It costs $2.50 to feed each prisoner per day.

It was also apparent that every guard that I saw was a white male, and a large population of the prisoners were black (there are no female prisoners in Attica). There is tear gas in the ceilings of the mess hall so they can clear out the room quickly if necessary, and you can be keep locked (kept in your cell for 23 hours a day) if you sit or step on the equipment in the metal yard, or if you touch the barber's tools. The highest paying job is in the metal yard at $40 every two weeks. Your also not allowed to talk in the corridors. No one seemed to talk at all while we were there, other than the guards. Some of the guards that hold the keys are locked within cells themselves so that no one can gain access to them. The prisoners are not allowed access to the internet or computers at all.

The officer giving the tour also said that the higher the education level of the inmate, the less likely he is to come back. When I asked if they had college correspondence courses, I was told that there is a small amount available. There used to be more available, but Federal and State laws were passed to preclude felons from obtaining financial aid. I asked what the thinking behind that was, considering the effect of education on recidivism rates, and the guard responded that taxpayers don't want to have to pay for prisoners to get a college education, seeing as it already costs taxpayers $35,000 per year, per prisoner. This argument didn't really make sense to me considering that you'd be paying more in the long-term, and I indicated as much, but he was pretty blustery about the point and just mentioned taxpayers again.

At the end of our tour, we were able to talk to one of the prisoners. I didn't quite get his full name, so I won't attempt it now. He was a really tall guy. He looked like an NBA player; he actually used to play basketball in high school. He was 31 and has been locked up for 12 years. He's serving a sentence of 25 to life for second degree murder. As mentioned, he was playing basketball in high school and had a chance to get a scholarship, but he fell in with the wrong crowd, dropped out in his last year, got involved with the wrong stuff, and ended up killing someone. He didn't know they were dead right away, so it sounds like something that was unintentional. Even though he turned himself in, after being on the run, he was still given the maximum sentence, despite not having a prior record. This guy seemed like a good guy to me, and it broke my heart to hear his story. He has an 11 year old daughter who he tries to support while in prison, and he's taken responsibility for his life choices. I know that what he did was wrong...and this is true of most prisoners...but at the same time I can also recognize how easy it is to mess up. All it takes is that one wrong decision that you can't take back.

I read a case where an individual was sentenced to time in a "Special Housing Unit" for keeping stamps, an atlas, and a used ink cartridge in the NAACP office that he was responsible for at Sing Sing. He was also "guilty" of composing a letter to a religious organization, in which he requested to pay for religious materials, to distribute to the general population, with stamps or have someone else (on the outside) send a check, since the inmates did not have any access to cash.

This is particularly disturbing to me because this is an obvious abuse of whatever these rules were set up for, yet the District Court reviewing his petition felt no need to do anything whatsoever. I understand that courts can only adjudicate the issues that are presented before them, although that doesn't stop some of them (see Ashcroft v. Iqbal), but sometimes you just have to wonder what the heck is going on. I mean come on already...it's one thing to write up prisoners for illegal behavior, but stamps and an ink cartridge? Really?! This is even more amazing to me considering all of the illegal activities that do take place in prisons and go overlooked and unpunished.

I heard someone say the other day that sometimes when you try to fight "monsters" you can become one yourself. I think we fall into this behavior much more than many of us are willing to admit. But, as in the words of Lavar,"you don't have to take my word for it." See for yourself. The citation is Joseph v. Fischer, 2009 WL 3321011 (S.D.N.Y. 2009).

I saw on Facebook today that a girl I know is in jail. She developed a drug problem a few years ago, so I wasn't exactly surprised to hear the news, but I'm deeply saddened by it. I used to spend a lot of time with this girl, and, while she did have her issues, I never thought that she would end up in the position she was in now. At one point, she was starting to get on her feet and then she met the wrong guy and one thing led to another. This makes me so upset because there are so many women out there who destroy themselves for the men that they are with, and, as the title implies, it's just not worth it! Women, please wake up and take care of yourselves and realize your own self-worth.

I just finished reading Macbeth for the first time today (no judgment please). The most striking part of the play for me, as well as many other people, is the speech at the end where he says, “[life] is a tale /Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury/ Signifying nothing.” Act 5, Scene 5, lines 26-28. I think this part of the play is so profound because it makes one wonder whether this is true. How many times have we all wondered what our purpose is in this life? However, what would our purpose have to be to make it (life) worth something? Is Macbeth simply saying this because he realizes how empty his life has become after selling his soul for power? I’m not sure. I’m moving on to King Lear, but first I’m going to buy some office supplies.

I had lunch with my Dad at a casino in Queens, New York yesterday, and, as usual, I found the sight to be particularly disturbing. The minute I walked in I was bombarded by an obnoxious assortment of sounds and lights including the many slot machines and the radio on in the background. To top it all off they have big banner that puts out helpful messages about how to gain more points on your rewards card and tales of jackpots that have been won. Nausea started to settle in shortly afterward. There were tons of senior citizens, some of them with oxygen tanks, sitting contently at their machines despite all the noise surrounding them. It made me feel like I was in the Matrix or some similar such apocalyptic tale. I could envision us all slowly being taken over until, like a scene in Wall-E, we all zoom around on little machines with a huge soda in one hand while watching television, and we lose the ability to walk as the result of gross obesity and muscular atrophy. I find it especially scary because I can see how easily it can happen judging by my own behavior. I have refused to purchase cable in the past because I realize that if I did have cable, I would do nothing but watch television, but the ease of watching television via my Netflix app on my IPhone has presented another danger. It’s so easy to lie in bed, or wherever, and watch shows that I’ve really taken to. After my episode at the casino, I thought about it and realized that I have watched 129 episodes of Bones and 39 episodes of Drop Dead Diva within the past couple of months. While, I do really love watching these shows, I must acknowledge that within that time I have spent approximately 5.25 days of my life watching television, and that’s not including any other television time or movies that I may have watched. This is extremely disturbing to me considering that today there are things such as GMO’s, meat treated with ammonia served in school lunches, hydro-fracking, and other such things that are happening without objection (at least not by the government). Not to mention, it is nearly impossible to figure out what is going on in local politics. Sure, I could try to dig out what is happening on my own, but why is it that I can find out that Snookie from the Jersey Shore is pregnant by just standing in line at the grocery store, but to find out who my local politicians are and what they’re up to, I practically have to become a private eye? Why can’t I stand in line at the grocery store and learn about some family who has lost access to clean water in Pennsylvania, or about how the Supreme Court effectively overruled Brown v. Board of Education with its ruling in Parents Involved v. Seattle? It seems a little ludicrous, and I do not believe this is a coincidence. This whole episode has made me think of a bumper sticker that someone stuck on one of the security mirrors at school that says “Do Not Blindly Follow.” So, I implore everyone, regardless of your party affiliation or personal beliefs, please do not blindly follow.