on and on and on
I wish I'd gone camping after reading Terry's journal. It sounds like y'all had a good time. I've been hanging around Keith and his housemates to much this weekend. They're nice guys and everything but way to obsessed with pornography movies and poop dick, well, tack is.
Today I rewatched that Now show on PBS. It was the same one that was on yesterday or whenever. They did a story on migrant farm working families in Texas. There's this one part where I always tear up. I've done it twice now. It's at the end of the story when they say the teen girl earned honors in math and history and she had perfect attendance. It's the attendance part that gets to me. I think it's because the family usually has to check the kids out of school early so they can go up north to help pick corn and shitty no fun stuff like that.
Soyeon got back from New York City today. I've been keeping her car for her. I'm a damn good driver. I drove to the airport to pick her up at midnight. I never adjusted the seat from Soyeon's height though so I must have looked funny while driving.
I've been feeling damn sad lately. I think It's a mix of being poor, reading Dostoevsky, and worrying for one of my most favorite professors.
Hopefully the poorness with change in a few weeks. I start my plant watering job at Forever Elmwood at 9 in the morning. I need to sleep but my schedule has flipped around again. That's what this Buffalo weather does to me. I thought it was going to be warm by June. Plant watering should be cool though. It's the 6 bucks an hour job I've been fantasizing about for a while now.
Tony called while I was in Georgia and said he's in New Mexico for a few weeks so maybe when he gets back I start to help him clean out that old yellow jail of his so he can shoot some stuff in there. That's a damn good job to. A jail is an awfully good set for the things my mind is currently conjuring up.
I've read a couple of stories White Nights and The Gambler. I'm working on Notes from the Underground but I haven't got to far. I think I'd like it better if someone were reading that one to me. It's written like it should be spoken. I need more books! If only I'd been about to start this job thing sooner. I'll be happy when I get to teach video. I hope I get interesting students who know what they want. That seems unlikely though so I guess I'll have to try to convince them of what they want to do but I'm not sure how I'll do that when I feel like I'm flopping around like a fish out of water. Life is moving in a slowly spreading circle, like a bit of oil spilled on asphalt. Soon enough it may turn into a line.
I remember the first semester that I was here we had the contingency test. I went out to the pink despite a nasty upper viral infection and Steve persuaded me to give him a kiss to see if he'd get sick then he kissed someone and they kissed someone and so on and so on. I though it was a wonderful idea and sure enough Steve got sick for weeks, he was the only one. It made me happy to help him with his research. That and I'm slightly evil. I though it was great fun that a middle aged man got sick from kissing a 22 yr. old. The next semester I had another cold. I asked Steve if he wanted to have a contingency test and he'd learned his lesson apparently because he vigorously declined. Yeah, I think once you get a person sick they grow on you somehow. I'm very worried about this FBI bioweapons stuff. It makes me so sad that they would try to press charges against Steve for that. He's an artist not a meany and he's afraid of death I think.
A few months after I moved here I told Steve about the death of my cat. I was depressed for a quite while after my cat died. I brought Oliver, here with me all that way from Georgia. Then he got sick right when my money for the semester ran out. I stayed up with my kitty all night Sunday and then walked to the vet's office at 9 in the morning with my last 50 dollars and a lot of ho
pe
! When I got there they told me that Oliver needed an operation that would cost 500 dollars. I didn't even have enough money to have Oliver put to sleep. The vet's office had to give me 80 dollars from their emergency pets fund. I walked around that office holding Oliver like a baby and crying my eyes out. I got Oliver two years before when I lived with Matthew. It's sad that they both died so young. Matthew was 19 Oliver was 3. Yeah, but back to the point.
When I was telling Steve about all those woes he told me about a cat he had. It broke his heart when he had to have the cat put down. He said that he wasn't there when the vet's did it, he couldn't watch. I told him I wanted to be there with my cat even though it was hard. Steve told me that he'd lost friends to AIDS and after that I figured he was afraid of things like death and dying. Maybe that's why he's researching the things he's researching maybe he just wants a better understanding of the things he fears the most. but yeah, knowing about this discomfort with death the idea of Steve finding his wife dead and then being indicted for bioweapons, it's like a horror movie come to life. It makes me pissed off, full of rage, and generally unhappy.
The posting from Julie's journal ended up on the Atl list serve. I wrote a post saying how I know Steve and he's my professor and a good guy and all that. A couple of my professors from Atlanta wrote me back so I hope they'll donate some money to help out with all this legal malarkey.
Today I rewatched that Now show on PBS. It was the same one that was on yesterday or whenever. They did a story on migrant farm working families in Texas. There's this one part where I always tear up. I've done it twice now. It's at the end of the story when they say the teen girl earned honors in math and history and she had perfect attendance. It's the attendance part that gets to me. I think it's because the family usually has to check the kids out of school early so they can go up north to help pick corn and shitty no fun stuff like that.
Soyeon got back from New York City today. I've been keeping her car for her. I'm a damn good driver. I drove to the airport to pick her up at midnight. I never adjusted the seat from Soyeon's height though so I must have looked funny while driving.
I've been feeling damn sad lately. I think It's a mix of being poor, reading Dostoevsky, and worrying for one of my most favorite professors.
Hopefully the poorness with change in a few weeks. I start my plant watering job at Forever Elmwood at 9 in the morning. I need to sleep but my schedule has flipped around again. That's what this Buffalo weather does to me. I thought it was going to be warm by June. Plant watering should be cool though. It's the 6 bucks an hour job I've been fantasizing about for a while now.
Tony called while I was in Georgia and said he's in New Mexico for a few weeks so maybe when he gets back I start to help him clean out that old yellow jail of his so he can shoot some stuff in there. That's a damn good job to. A jail is an awfully good set for the things my mind is currently conjuring up.
I've read a couple of stories White Nights and The Gambler. I'm working on Notes from the Underground but I haven't got to far. I think I'd like it better if someone were reading that one to me. It's written like it should be spoken. I need more books! If only I'd been about to start this job thing sooner. I'll be happy when I get to teach video. I hope I get interesting students who know what they want. That seems unlikely though so I guess I'll have to try to convince them of what they want to do but I'm not sure how I'll do that when I feel like I'm flopping around like a fish out of water. Life is moving in a slowly spreading circle, like a bit of oil spilled on asphalt. Soon enough it may turn into a line.
I remember the first semester that I was here we had the contingency test. I went out to the pink despite a nasty upper viral infection and Steve persuaded me to give him a kiss to see if he'd get sick then he kissed someone and they kissed someone and so on and so on. I though it was a wonderful idea and sure enough Steve got sick for weeks, he was the only one. It made me happy to help him with his research. That and I'm slightly evil. I though it was great fun that a middle aged man got sick from kissing a 22 yr. old. The next semester I had another cold. I asked Steve if he wanted to have a contingency test and he'd learned his lesson apparently because he vigorously declined. Yeah, I think once you get a person sick they grow on you somehow. I'm very worried about this FBI bioweapons stuff. It makes me so sad that they would try to press charges against Steve for that. He's an artist not a meany and he's afraid of death I think.
A few months after I moved here I told Steve about the death of my cat. I was depressed for a quite while after my cat died. I brought Oliver, here with me all that way from Georgia. Then he got sick right when my money for the semester ran out. I stayed up with my kitty all night Sunday and then walked to the vet's office at 9 in the morning with my last 50 dollars and a lot of ho
pe
! When I got there they told me that Oliver needed an operation that would cost 500 dollars. I didn't even have enough money to have Oliver put to sleep. The vet's office had to give me 80 dollars from their emergency pets fund. I walked around that office holding Oliver like a baby and crying my eyes out. I got Oliver two years before when I lived with Matthew. It's sad that they both died so young. Matthew was 19 Oliver was 3. Yeah, but back to the point.
When I was telling Steve about all those woes he told me about a cat he had. It broke his heart when he had to have the cat put down. He said that he wasn't there when the vet's did it, he couldn't watch. I told him I wanted to be there with my cat even though it was hard. Steve told me that he'd lost friends to AIDS and after that I figured he was afraid of things like death and dying. Maybe that's why he's researching the things he's researching maybe he just wants a better understanding of the things he fears the most. but yeah, knowing about this discomfort with death the idea of Steve finding his wife dead and then being indicted for bioweapons, it's like a horror movie come to life. It makes me pissed off, full of rage, and generally unhappy.
The posting from Julie's journal ended up on the Atl list serve. I wrote a post saying how I know Steve and he's my professor and a good guy and all that. A couple of my professors from Atlanta wrote me back so I hope they'll donate some money to help out with all this legal malarkey.