I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Keith's house with me, cause I was about to walk over there. It was a good time. We heard records while we talked about the man/boy love organization. Then we started singing, Pharaoh pharaoh, Oh nO, let my people go! and Father Abraham had many son's. Damn the excessive amounts of chick tracks in the house.
I drew on some paper towels and drank a shot of whiskey with the boys. Then I came home. I was asleep all day. I dreamed my sister got the cutest little puppy. It looked like a miniature Benjie and it kept licking everything.
I'm afraid I haven't been doing a good job with my job search. I've vowed to myself to try harder tomorrow so I don't get shipped away to humid boredom and numb bitching.
Going to Georgia sounds a little fun though because my Dad told me he fixed my sister's old truck so I'd have something to drive maybe. Ah yes, cruising with the windows down in the middle of the night, smelling the spring flying by. That sounds fine but that's just a little chunk of a way to spend time.

These quotes are from the book "Kids Say the Darndest Things" published in 1957.
What do you think a rich man is?
A bachelor

Would you vote for a woman for president?
No.
Why not?
Their responsibilities are not so political.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nothing, because I don't wanna grow up.
That's unusual. How come?
Because of all the bills you have to pay at the end of the month.

What do you want to be?
I don't care as long as I get money.
Why do you want money?
Because I want to have a husband and the only way you can get a husband these days is to have money.

What do you want to be?
I'm not sure but I think I'd like to get married.
Why?
Well, I'd rather do that than work

What's your favorite expression?
"Bury that crazy prehistoric!"
What does it mean?
It means get rid of that old man.
Who do you use it on?
Anyone over 21.

I've got a new boy friend
How do you know?
Because yesterday he told me to shut up and go home.

What do you want to be?
Housewife.
Who are you going to marry?
I think a woman.
But you're a girl yourself... why would you want to marry a woman?
Because women are a lot less trouble than men, my mother tells me.

Who matures faster girls or boys?
Girls.
How do you know?
Well, a girl knows when she falls in love with a boy but a boy doesn't even know the girls in love with him or what, and doesn't know much of anything- so girls are more mature.

Would you like to be the president?
Oh, it's all right.
The Governor?
No.
How about the mayor?
Why not?
Because that's a girl horse.

What do you like to do best?
Cook, sew, embroider and clean house.
With those interest what do you think you'll be?
A private secretary.
Do you know what a private secretary does?
Yes, the main thing is to keep the newspaper man away from her boss so they can't get a scoop on anything he doesn't want them to know about.
Would you be willing to sit on the boss' lap?
Well, if you have to- you have to.



Looking at this picture I realize that things were not necessarily simpler. Yes, I could get away with wearing overalls with no shirt but look at my expression. What the hell was I thinking about? I'm sure I had something on my mind, maybe I was thinking "Wow, my sister's Panama Jack shirt is so much cooler than my overalls." I got to many things on my mind lately. I had more disturbing dreams. One of them involved MDMA. In the dream I took the drug and went to sleep. I took the drug with my friend Skip Willimson, this older wild man I know. I was creeped out because someone had recently told me that people only give you ecstasy if they want to have sex with you. The drug was injected into lifesaver shaped candy. I ate it then went to sleep. I could hear them saying "she's asleep, is she ok." When I woke up in the dream the shape of my head had changed.
The second dream was strange, kind of insect like. I was thinking like a preying mantis but it wasn't that cool. It would have been cooler if I were a prey mantis, well, a preying mantis might enjoy having my dream though, ah, who knows?
so yeah, what that says about my own personal psychology, I have no idea. What is more natural the desire to consume or the desire to copulate?
Andy(my Atl sweetie) called and said that he is coming here for a week in June for my birthday,so anyone who comes to me and Soyeon's joint birthday party on June 13th can meet em. I miss how he liked to give me foot massages when I put my feet in his lap while we were watching movies. I gave Soyeon a foot massage the other day because she looked so melancholy. She said she's never had a foot massage before and that made me so sad. Her poor little feet in those high heels
e
veryday, she needs a good foot massaging man like Andy.
I'm very fortunate to be a woman.

Keith says that "After looking at my favorite porn sites I guess there might, I supply to my favorite porn sites I suppose. Something about Elmwood strip. I read the journal everyday. I read stickboy. I find myself finishing the job the job when I read Paul did I mention myself reading Stick boy?"

When I was in grade school we tried to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, If we didn't we would get pinched. I wonder if y'all did that evilness up here? Keith did not. He gave me cornbeef and made me think of that stuff.
When I was three I went to an amusement park with my Mom and a lot of people from church. A tornado went through the park that night. I remember wondering where my brother was and being scared that he would be crushed by a tree but I thought the storm was exciting. We went into a souvenir shop to wait out the storm a bit. I was standing by a sunglasses rack. My cousin, Josh, who was two years old at the time, saved me from kidnappers there. OK, that part has to be bullshit, you know? So I think that's my oldest fantasy.
Josh joined the air force a few years ago. I wrote him a letter telling him how crazy and stupid I think that is and he never wrote me back. He does mechanical work on planes. He recently married a girl from Louisiana and she'll be having a baby if a few months I reckon.
I had scary dreams last night or actually today. It's tidy in here. I wish I had a little money and I would invite people over for food and drinks. I've never done much entertaining in this apartment. I feel like I should do a little this summer because pretty soon I'll move in with Soyeon and that will be different. It'll be our space then, not just my space. I've had my own space for a long time but I think Soyeon will be a good roommate for me. We'll help each other keep our heads on straight.
The job hunt, yes, I'll start up again tomorrow. I hate that the weather is so cold. It's fucking May, for christ sake!
Ah well, at least music is beautiful no matter the temperature.

my house is clean. stop on by sometime.

how complicated sometimes, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, what the fuck is going on here? I got drunk Thursday, I got drunk Friday, and now Saturday night is approaching and I'm sure to show my face at the astronaut party. I've never in my life so I may as well this time.
My big sister refuses to talk to me. I wonder if its because I offered to do an act of violence for her but then chickened out? I just get scared of big guys sometimes. I made the offer to sporadically. I needed to form a posse to get my back first but by the time I did that Soyeon had disappeared. A little slap wouldn't hurt a big jerk like that anyway, I guess if I had done it in the crowd he might have had a momentary loss of pride.
I love my oldest sister. I reckon she needs a break from me. I get worries. Human beings are so delicate. I'm one of the lest delicate humans that I know. Then I pair up with people and I get afraid that I can destroy them by being insensitive and stupid. Damn it, I'm a little kid.

I just dreamed that my little cousin, Tanya, had two strange tattoos on her hand and lots of piercing. Her left hand tattoo was a sheet of paper folded in half with little berries all over and her right hand tattoo was the end of a key molded into a counter top.

for my asshole husband, stickboy, He's taking me to lunch in exchange for reading his book and offering him my feminine critique. I'll read for food any day.
That saves my belly for the day. I still need to clean up in here so bad. Jesse keeps telling me to hire Ragly but I can't. I'm to poor now. This mess has to go though. Oh, it's so bad. I'm so sick of it. Where to start?
1. take out all current trash
2. Start a new trash
3. put all dirty clothes in the closet across from the bathroom
4. put all cans and empty cigarette packs in the trash
5. put the bricks back on my shelf the put the top shelf back on
6. put VHS tapes and DVDs inside the end table under the monitor
7. put change in change jar
8. gather and wash all dishes
9. put sugar and stuff in cabinets
10. throw away old food
11. hang up hats and jackets
12. fold laundry on bed
13. put shoes in closet
14. clean out bags and purses
15. stack cassette tapes and mini DV tapes
16. find a good spot for my make-up throw out what I don't use
17. find a storage unit for collage materials
18. wash off counter tops and stove
19. take out trash again
20. Clean out sinks, toilet, and bathtub.
21. dust desk, computer, monitor, tables, and windows
22. sweep and mop floors
23. fold blankets
24. vacuum rug, loveseat, and chair.