Today around one I go of the train at the Summer Best stop and I started walking down Summer to get to Elmwood. It was slightly uncomfortable walking because I was carrying a VHS camera in it's case. That dinosaur was giving my shoulder a work out.
When I got to Linwood the light had just changed and a cop was sitting there, He waved his hand to tell me I could pass. Then I walked across the street and he asked me "You work around here?" and I told him no, so he asked "You live around here" and I said Elmwood and he was like oh OK or whatever and I kept on walking.
I was getting paranoid thinking "does this guy think my camera is a bomb or something." It weirded me out a little but I kept on my route. When I was half a block from Elmwood the same cop had pulled and parked on the side of the road that I was walking on. He asked me "What do you do." I told him "I'm a student" he asked what I study I said media studies, then he asked if I was from Buffalo and I said no, Georgia and then he was all you came up here just to study and I was all yeah it was a long trek. Then he told me to have a nice day and I said you to and walked home.
I'm not sure if this guy was suspicious of me of if he just was interested in me either way I don't like it one bit. When Paul gave me a ride home the other night there were five cops in their cars on the street right outside my house. We were so creeped out. Cops are so damn scary. Why would a person want that job unless they have some power/control issues, scary. I'm scared. I'm nice. Leave me alone.

This morning around 9 I woke up to the most annoying sounds. It sounded like a person in wooden boots tramping around on the wooden floors in the apartment above me. I was so bothered that I turned on my stereo full blast, after a minute of that the noise above me got louder and I could hear plaster falling. You know that sound you get when you put a nail somewhere you shouldn't. I was so pissed off I turned off my radio and screamed at the top of my lungs "SHUT UP, I CAN'T TAKE THIS, GOD DAMN IT." Then the noise shut up for minute but then it started again. I was so pissed off. I hate waking up before the time I've allotted for myself.
My alarm just went off so now is the time I should be waking. It's good though that those crazies woke me up this morning because I'm doing a load of laundry and will actually be able to wear panties for the first time in weeks.
I had a strange dream about a molester named Jojo. I was sleeping on the couch and he wanted to spend the night but I told him there wasn't room and then in the dream I had a flashback to being in the pool with him. He had a gun and shot himself in the finger when he was shooting at my brother. I took his finger and put it under the water because that is the only way he could feel the sting to know he had been shot so he asked me how I knew to do that and it was because he's shot me in the stomach a few minutes before.

Thank Baubo for Paul, he just saved my life. Paul you rock so hard.

I'm so mad. This stupid movie upload to the server. What the hell am i doinng in the media studies department, fucking shit, I think our kanas city have the right idea getting out of here!!! Jesus, I'm so mad. Why want it work? Damn it! Why!why! why! I need help so bad God Damn It, Fucking Shit, Damn it Damn it. It works on this machine. I'm so pissed, totally pissed, work work work.

I'm wondering if any of you people out there would be willing to shave off your bush and let me take a crotch shot, not wide open beaver or full sausage (unless that's what you want) just a nice straightforward shot. I've been obsessed with this George W. Bush and pubic hair thing for a while, what a nice peaceful but upfront way to protest.
I'm envisioning a room full of hairless crotches. Maybe I could save all the pubic hairs and light them on fire in front of the Washington monument (that sounds a bit unsanitary though). You know I think this is the first time I've shaved my cunt just to remove all reference to the word bush from my body. I feel so clean. Tomorrow it might be itchy but for now I feel clean. I'm willing to suffer a bit for that disassociation.

I seem to be facing the same dilemma as Mike. Do I have what it takes to get up at 8:30 and protest our fucking shithead of a president? I'm so tired right now. Do I have what it takes to remove my own personal bush as a symbol of my resistance? I'd like to think so but then I'd like to be indifferent as well and pretend that I live in my on little world and all these organized fuckers don't matter but thats hard to do when people are sending me pictures of dead babies in Iraq.
I'm sick of these bush pop ups on MY home computer. They invade my space. That ugly white dude, what a symbol. Well, I have almost a whole pack of cigarettes thanks to Soyeon. That should help with getting me out of bed in the morning.

I slept all day and missed the last day of the show at city hall. I'm such an idiot sometimes. Soyeon is the best. She took me out for dinner last night because we were so hungry and I'm so poor right now.
I'll be shipped back to GA pretty soon if I can't find a job for the summer. It's not that I don't love my family it's just that I don't like them that much, except my little niece, Kiah, I missed her the most. She is three years old now and smart as a whip even though her daddy is a jailbird with three nipples. My sister is sending me a carton of smokes in exchange for some baby-sitting in the future.
I was in my first year of college when my sister got pregnant. One time she called me to talk about baby names. I was so bad back then. I worked in the High museum pushing the elevator button to do my part in helping herd the crowd of suburbanites who'd come to see prints by Norman Rockwell up to the third floor. I had to click a counter as each person walked by. Usually during my lunch break I would walk half a block over to my dorm room and get stoned and listen to Mr. Marley and The Wailers, so when I returned to work I would pace in eyes glazed circles singing "Lord, I gotta keep on moving, Lord, I gotta get on down." It helped me with getting my 8 bucks an hour. My supervisor George Boozer, a middle-aged man in a suit, was always hitting on me. I thought he was gross but funny. He was demoted after 9/11 which made me sad because he'd been working there for 40 years when I worked there.
Well, on the day my sister called to talk baby names I was listening to a song titled Kaya. I love that song. It's optimistic. My sister told me she was thinking of naming the baby Kayleen I was like "Hell no, name the baby Kaya" and she did but she changed the spelling, silly lady. I think it's funny I named my niece after herb. Could that be why I love her so much?
I've got 6 dollars to last until Tuesday right now. How am I going to make that work out? If anyone wants to invite me to dinner I will gladly accept. I love eating. My belly proves it.

I got married three times. Swati was my first so she will remain ever special in my heart. Then me and Tony got hitched, then me and stickboy. I enjoyed the unions and will post the photos as soon as the reverend gets me a copy.
I put the Baubo video at an eye level for children so they could go right up to the pipe and watch without their parent looking over there shoulder. It worked. There were a few kids in and out during the opening. I think it's fantastic that I can show kids the goddess of obscenity and belly laughter singing christian children song, Deep and Wide.
All in all the show made me feel a little hollow. It's not the work it's more the process of making and displaying. City Hall is a strange venue. I've been working on this installation for so long, and it's going to be up for three more days but then it's over. I guess what I'm wondering is what's my reward? personal satisfaction stemming from self expression? No, that can't be it because I feel distinctly unsatisfied also I think self expression is so lame.
Jesus, I'm confused. What do I want with this art making bull shit? I've been trying and doing, working and making for so long and what I get in return is conversation and if I'm lucky a pat on the back. I guess I can document this thing and use it in the future when I'm dealing with some kind of art application portfolio trickery.
I don't get why I'm bummed out to be finished. This is supposed to be the happy part where I'm all "Hey everybody, look what I did" " Look Mommy watch me go down the slide!"