My new year’s eve sucked because I had a stomach virus that enabled me to pee out my asshole all day long also it helped me to vomit up at least a liter of ginger ale. The good news is I have a driver license one year and 2 thousand dollars after I got a DUI.
I’m missing my own space at this point. I’ve been sleeping on my parents couch since December 10th minus the nights I spent in Andy’s dirty apartment.
The other night at about 4 in the morn I stumbled across a terrible soft core porn titled illicit lovers despite the bad script and even worse acting I managed to get a bit turned on and took the vibrating element from a vibrating pillow and I was in the middle of stimulating myself under the covers when my sister stumbled into the room. Now I was so worried about the vibrating noise that I forgot about the porn and my sister stood there a while before it dawned on me that I was watching some overly gorgeous man fuck some fake breasted blond. That was kind of awkward.
Besides that I’ve been dreaming of the dead lately. First my Granny, then Matthew, then tonight, Rex. It’s a bit strange. In the dreams I always realize that these people are dead or at least should be because they are. My Granny had a bunch of strokes then quit eating. I dreamed that she had glasses and dyed her hair black. I gave her a hug. Rex was shot in the head by his neighbors enraged ex-husband because he was hiding her in the closet. That was two weeks before high school graduation. I grew up with that guy. In the dream I walked by him and fought the urge to give him a hug and tell him he looked good then a while later(in the dream) I remembered that he was dead. The dream with Matthew was a little weirder. It was like he wasn’t dead but had just moved and was mad at me. He was murdered about 6 months after we broke up. This was the guy who popped my cherry and all that we lived together for a while. Well actually I popped my own cherry with magic markers when I was about 12 after reading about how much sex for the first time hurt women. I decided that I would rather do it myself but it still kind of hurt the first time I had sex despite years of masturbation so what’s with that? It’s mental thing I guess.

Hurray for Christmas

Hurray for cleavage

So I slept until 4 again. uh... time keeps on slipping. Hmmm. I think that ??I well. shit This old life is getting me down way down. It is the most boring town. I wish you were around. God Damn it I miss old buffalo.

1. I'm reading this book Sex for One by Betty Dobson. It's a great book but this lady is actually into cunt hair shaving because it makes women look at their pussies. She drew all these pictures of pussies close up to show the differences. It's amazing and beautiful, I think.

2. My boyfriend guy, Andy, is always mistaken for being gay. I used to tease him about it but the other night I had the lovely experience of being teased by my own sister for having a gay boyfriend. I think my sister is just pissed because she hasn't got laid in two months, for her that's a record. Jesus Christ you should see the stupid dicks she's interested in. Thank god I scared those assholes off. So yeah, gender roles suck they need a little more transformation if you ask me.

It was damn near sixty degrees here today. I hung around on the porch and went to D. U. I. school. Ya'll my boyfriend sure can fuck. Last night we started out spooning, He grabbed both of my hands so my arms were behind my back. Then I sat on top of him facing his feet and we fucked like that for a while. In the end we were doggystyle but a couple of variations on that so in the end I was just flat on my stomach and Andy spluged all over my back and said "Lord." Sex. It's even better than mild weather.

I'm here in Adairsvile Ga. I have realized that it's going to be a very long month

I've got to admit that I haven't noticed much of a difference between northern and southern culture since I moved up here from Atlanta in August, well, that is until I spent thanksgiving with my sister in laws family in Pennsylvania. I stayed with the grams and my brother and his wife, Dee. My little niece Gracie was there and she is just as cute as can be. She just learned to walk and her honey blond hairs turned curly. So this northern family delights in giving each other a hard time (my bother is as southern as they come so its funny seeing him away from home). At one point Grams was in the hallway and one of her granddaughters said "get out of the way old woman" and once I was sitting on the porch calling a kitty over when grams said "don't call that cat over here. It's got a mean face if I had a gun I'd shoot it." Ya'll should meet my MawMaw she's the sweetest old lady ever. She sends me cards that says she praying for me and puts five dollars in. Well, the Pennsylvania family was nicer in actions than they were in words I guess cause I didn't do a lick of work while I was there just ate there good food and sat around. They are all Catholics so that's funny. My brother made me promise to keep my mouth closed about the religion thing so I guess I'll save my lectures for my own family. Dee's family doesn't talk about controversial stuff to much. In my family we tell it how it is and then argue. I've finally tried eggnog and I tell you what, that shit is so good, I wish I had some right now. At the end of the trip on Friday I was pulling away from Grams house with my brother and his family. Grams, Uncle Joe, and Aunt Rea all came out on the porch and stood there in a line. I yelled up to them that they looked like the Clampetts and my brother laughed about that halfway to the bus station. He think that Grams don't like him. So now I've been here in Buffalo taking it easy when I should be working my ass off. I did clean up this place. Man, it looks better. Come on over here and see it ya'll!

Thanksgiving is such a teaser, I mean, for one day you have a feast, all this great food and then your just back to normal. I want turkey and honeybaked ham every day ahh pumpkin pie with whip cream I love you. Well, I finally cleaned up my nasty apt, so maybe people will come over now I've just got to ask. Hey, You wanna come over?

Artist: DMX Album: It's Dark And Hell Is Hot Song: Damien
Intro: UH DefJam Uh RuffRyders (The Snake the rat, the cat, the dog, how you gon' see them if you livin in the fog) My nigga TP creep with me (The Snake the rat, the cat, the dog, how you gon' see them if you livin in the fog) Verse 1:DMX Why is it every move I make turn out to be a bad one Where's my guardian angel need one, wish I had one (I'm right here shorty and I'ma hold you down and tryin' to fuck all these bitches I'ma show you how) But who? (My name D like you but my friends call me Damien and I'ma put you into somethin' about this game we in You and me could take it there and you'll be the hottest nigga ever livin') That's a givin' (You'll see) Hmmm thats what I've been wantin' all my life Thinkin' 'bout my little man so I call my wife Well your dada is about to make it happen I'm about to make it rappin' Today I met this cat He said his name was Damien He thinks that we're a lot alike and wants to be my friend HaHa yeah just like Chuckie Yeah Hook: The Snake, the rat, the cat, the dog How you gon' see them if you livin in the fog (4x) Verse 2: (Hey yo D) What up D (You a smooth nigga, I seen you but nobody knew who pulled the trigger) Yeah, you know it's always over doe (You sure, I could've sworn it was over a hoe) Na, na that ain't my style (May you stay frontin' but you still my man and I ain't goin' say nothin', got yo weed go 'head smoke it<whaa?, go 'head drink it, go 'head 'n fuck shorty you know I can keep a secret I'm about to have you drivin' probably a Benz, but we gotta stay friends Blood out, blood in) Sounds good to me, fuck it, what I got to lose Hmm nothin' I can think of, ANY NIGGA WOULD CHOOSE Got me pushin' the whips, takin' trips across seas Pockets stay laced, nigga I floss G's For that nigga I would bleed, give him my right hand Now that I think about it yo, that's my man Hook Verse 3: (You like how everything is goin' You like what I gave you? You know if you was goin' down I'd be the one to save you! But yo I need a favor, these cat's across town hate me Plus their behaviour hasn't been too good lately) What!?! anything for you dog Where them niggas at (38th and Broadway) Let me get the Gat Run up on 'em strapped Bust off caps on four niggas Laid low for 'bout a month and killed two more niggas Now I'm ready to chill but you still want me to kill (Look at what I did for you dog, come on, keep it real) Aight, fuck it, I'ma do it, who is it this time (Hey yo remember that kid Sean you used to be with in 89) Naw, that's my man (I thought I was your man) But yo, that's my nigga (Hey who's your biggest fan, either do it or give me your right hand That's what you said) I see now, ain't nothin' but trouble ahead Hook In the fog, the fog livin' in the fog How you gon' see 'em if you livin' in the fog How you gon' see 'em if you livin' in the fog The snake, the rat, the cat, the dog To be continued motherfuckers Haaaaaahahaha